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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Warning Cookies

   
Author Topic: Warning Cookies
T_Smith
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I opened up a fortune cookie that told me:

'Do not reveal your plans to anyone.'

What a very ominous fortune indeed. This fortune cookie is suggesting that people are spying on me, and not to trust my wife or my friends. Surely, this cannot be a good fortune, so I decided to try again.

"Keep your secrets hidden for now."

The cookie has spoken. And as Uncle says, never mock the cookie.
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mackillian
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You stole my fortune cookie!
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rivka
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See what happens when you post your secrets?
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Enigmatic
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quote:
Originally posted by rivka:
See what happens when you post your secrets?
This happens?

--Enigmatic
(knows that link has been posted before.)
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Telperion the Silver
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*giggle*
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Tante Shvester
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Last week, my cookie's fortune said "Not all fortune cookies contain fortunes".

We certainly thought that was hysterical.

But my all-time favorite, which I got years ago when I was a kid said simply "Inspected by #43".
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Tante Shvester
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Your cookies remind me of a Monk episode , where the bad guys plot against Monk via fortune cookie messages.
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Ophelia
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When Olivet's brother-in-law eats Chinese food with Ben and me, he tends to get strange fortunes. Here are some of them:

“All truth goes through three steps: First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Lucky Numbers 9, 37, 12, 44, 5, 16”
And step three is . . . blank? We don't know whether they were trying to be clever and make us think, or if there was supposed to be more and they just messed up.

"The profit for the future is the past."
As written, it seems to mean that the best thing you can get from the future is the past. Which is depressing. I think we've decided that they really meant "prophet".
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Lisa
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I once opened up a fortune cookie when I was at work. It was in NY. The fortune said "f*** you". Someone at the factory must have been cranky. I could not believe it.
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Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged
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[ROFL]
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Nell Gwyn
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This summer I got one that said:

"You are the crispy noodle in the garden salad of life."

That one had me giggling for days, even though I'm still not sure what it means. [Big Grin]
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El JT de Spang
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I keep reading this thread title as "Wanting Cookies".

To which I enthusiastically reply, "Yes!"
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Father Time
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This past week my fortune cookie said...
"For your safety, avoid travel in the near future"

My wife's read...

"You are about to inherit a large sum of money."

I leave on an airplane tomorrow [Eek!]
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Tante Shvester
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Let us know if you landed safely. Just in case, though, tell your wife to post for you posthumously to let us know how much she inherited.

I'll be at the edge of my seat.
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andi330
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You do know that you're supposed to add the words "in bed" to the end of all fortunes from the cookies right?
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Glenn Arnold
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A restaurant near me sells (mildly) x-rated fortune cookies. But they don't give them out after dinner.
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Joldo
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quote:
Originally posted by andi330:
You do know that you're supposed to add the words "in bed" to the end of all fortunes from the cookies right?
I know. That's why I cracked up when I got a cookie that said: "You will soon have a wonderful experience".
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Mr.Funny
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I've always wanted to put something along the lines of "Help! I'm stuck in a fortune cookie factory!" in a fortune cookie.
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Cactus Jack
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Penn and Teller's excellent "How To Play With Your Food," contains fake fortunes. The prank is that you give them to yourself by swapping them for the real fortune, react to them in such a way as to make your friends curious, then leave them on the table for your friends to read. Among them:

That lump is cancer.
The chef spit in your food.
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kmbboots
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quote:
You do know that you're supposed to add the words "in bed" to the end of all fortunes from the cookies right?
My favorite along these lines was, "You are skilled at entertaining large groups of people."
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