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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Cheesy Pickup Lines (in honor of Jay) (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Cheesy Pickup Lines (in honor of Jay)
Crotalus
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Post your favorite cheesy pickup lines here.

Since I started the post I'll go first.
"Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"

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xtownaga
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Those are nice legs, when do they open?
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Seatarsprayan
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Was your father a thief? Because I saw him stealing candy at Kmart.
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Risuena
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Oooh! I've been the recipient of numerous cheesy pick-up lines! And I treasure them 'cause they're funny.

Two of my favorites:

"You have a nice smile... I'll trade you a beer for a kiss."

"Alexis? Your name is Alexis? I love Lexuses. I want to drive 'a lexus' tonight!"

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Ben
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Warning...Childishly inappropriate, brought to you by Church camp...


If I were a squirrel and you were a tree, would you mind if i were to bust a nut in your hole?


that is all...

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lord trousers
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"If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

I still use that on my wife.

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Ben
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So, i was staffing a Lutheran youth event and was talkin to some of the other staffers when i heard somebody behind me softly say my name, i turn around and there is this very pretty and tall redheaded chick standing there looking kind of sheepish. i said yes and i asked how she'd been and everything not knowing who on earth she was, then she was like "you don't remember me do you"...i knew that if i'd said no she would have felt bad, been offended and walked away, so i stood there for a moment and thought, and finally came up with...

"you look different with your clothes on."

it worked. she fell into a chair laughing. We dated for years after that.


that is all.

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Gryphonesse
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in the spirit of things - I used this once, long ago in college:

guy: hey baby. You got a light? (waggles cigarette at me)

me: No, but I've got a match - my ass and your face.

(he left me alone after that)

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camus
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[Laugh] Seatarsprayan


Are those spacepants you're wearing? Because your @$$ is out of this world.

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kmbboots
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One guy, in Chicago on business asked me to go back to his hotel room with him. When I declined he persisted, "But I have a suite !" Cuz that makes all the difference!
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El JT de Spang
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The word of the day is "legs". What do you say you and I go back to my place and spread the word?
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breyerchic04
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"but I'm your prom date"
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pfresh85
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"Hey baby, are you tired?"
Expected response: "No. Why?"
"'Cause you've been run laps in my head all night."

(or something like that, not that I've ever used it).

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El JT de Spang
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You look just like my next ex-wife.
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Enigmatic
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My favorite (because I made it up):

"Want to come back to my place and [make love] like wombats?"
Her: "How do wombats [make love]?
"I have no idea. But I'm willing to keep trying until we get it right."

This pickup line never works properly, though. I mean, sometimes it works in the sense that she just says "Yes" but it's very rare for someone to ask the right follow-up question so you can use the punchline.

--Enigmatic

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Amanecer
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Be unique and different, say yes.
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Sopwith
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"Come here often?"
"Nope."
"Wanna?"

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firebird
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'Here's 10p love, call your mum, you're not oging home'

(In the days before mobile phones, when calls only cost 10 pence)

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Jay
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Maybe I should change mine to cleaver pick up line since it worked!
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Evie3217
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There's is always the quinessential "What's your sign?" To which the best reply is "Closed"
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JemmyGrove
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I once used a cleaver pick-up line to aks a girl out, but the conversation just ground to a halt.

Edit to add " . . . but it only served to cut the conversation short."

I think it works better than the first one. [Smile]

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?
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I just heard this one last night. Although it's more of a mid-date line then a pickup line. This method can be substituted in place of the “fake yawn/put arm around shoulders of the girl,” method.

Your by the person and ask them, "If you were a pirate, which shoulder would your parrot be on? This one?" as you touch their shoulder closest to you, "or this one?" as you put you arm across the back of her shoulders and put your hand on the other one. Leave hand there if it was a good reaction.

?

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Dan_raven
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"Do you wanna go to my place and make wild passionate monkey love?"

99 times out of 100 this gets you slapped in the face.

but ooooh, that 100th time.

When I was in my late teens I told some associates that was my routine for picking up girls. One guy was so taken with that, "but oooh, that 100th time" that every time he sees me, he repeats it. And its been 20 years.

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Beren One Hand
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When he repeats it for the 100th time, will you be making wild monkey love?
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Dan_raven
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That may be why I've been avoiding him for the past year or so.

How about:

Hey, he just hit me. I am going to sue. You are all witnesses. You saw it. I want you all to be witnesses. You, I want your phone number, and yours, and (drops to a sexy voice) especially yours.

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Dagonee
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My friend had one. He'd hold a jar of peanut butter and say, "Want to eat peanut butter and [make love]?"

"No."

"That's OK." Tosses the peanut butter. "I don't like peanut butter either."

He claims it worked at least once.

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Treason
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"Somebody better call god 'cause he's missing an angel!"

"I'm new in town. Can you give me directions to your apartment?"

"You know what would look good on you? Me."

"Do you have any (insert nationality here) in you? Would you like some?"

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Risuena
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quote:
Originally posted by Dan_raven:
"Do you wanna go to my place and make wild passionate monkey love?"

99 times out of 100 this gets you slapped in the face.

but ooooh, that 100th time.

Hey - a guy used that line on me the same night his buddy tried the "drive Alexis" line I mentioned above. Ah, memories. That was a great night, even if no one went home with anyone else.
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El JT de Spang
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That dress would look great on my bedroom floor.
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ElJay
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I've been waiting for that one to show up. Also:

"May I buy you breakfast? Shall I call you or nudge you?"

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Domasai
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I heard one a while back, though I've never been one to use pick-up lines. Anyway, I thought it was funny.

"Nice shoes. Wanna [make love]?"

I don't know. The abrupt quality is what works for me.

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Raia
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Well, when I was in Israel last year, the cab drivers would CONSTANTLY hit on me. My favorite pickup, though, that I received from an Israeli cab driver:

Driver: You're so cute!! Why aren't you my wife?
(pause)
You're not married, are you?

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Little_Doctor
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If you see a god looking girl at a bar, go stand next to her and wait a few minutes. Make sure she notices you. Once the few minutes are up, simply say "How am I doin' so far?"
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archon
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A wise man once told me his finest pickup line while dispensing advice, and it has burned a permanent place into my mind: "There's a bucket of chicken in my pants, wanna get greasy?"
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Bekenn
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All the pickup lines you'll ever need, from the true master (Weird Al): Click.
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Da_Goat
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This only makes sense in a high school/college setting, but whatever. At least, that's the only place I've seen it used.

"Do you want to study algebra at my house? We can add you and me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!"

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divaesefani
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My favorite:

Pick your target, walk up and pretend to pick something up off the ground. Tell them "I think you dropped something." Hold out your fist like you're going to drop whatever it was you picked up into their hand. When they extend their hand, grab it and hold it.

Worked on my then-future husband after I had demonstrated it to him on someone else!

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divaesefani
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Oh, and my friend Starcie used to walk up to guys and say "Can I lick you?"
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Farmgirl
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Uh.. I'm confused.

I thought pick-up lines were for originally asking a girl out the first time -- not for asking for sex.

or is that the same thing these days?

FG

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Jay
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Yeah, I’m not sure how comfortable I am being associated with this line of pick ups…..
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jebus202
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I don't know how girls got the impression that they need pick-up lines.
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Crotalus
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I was thinking the same thing jebus. And Jay I started this thread with completely good intentions. Really. But I also can't say I'm too terribly shocked by what the locals have done with it. I mean, isn't it a tradition in cyberspace to derail or debase a thread as quickly as you can? [Smile]
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KPhysicsGeek
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quote:
Originally posted by Da_Goat:
This only makes sense in a high school/college setting, but whatever. At least, that's the only place I've seen it used.


Speaking of cheesy math pick-up lines...

"Man I wish I was a derivitive 'cause I would love to lie on your curves."

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Jay
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Yeah yeah yeah, but my derailings are for noble reasons!

*runs before the tomatoes start*

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Treason
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"I hope I'm not being forward
But do you mind if I chew on your butt?"

From the Weird Al song linked above.

[ROFL] [ROFL] [ROFL]

It's just so random.

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Enigmatic
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quote:
Originally posted by jebus202:
I don't know how girls got the impression that they need pick-up lines.

Completely effective pick-up lines for girls to use.

--Enigmatic

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Treason
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Oh, Enigmatic, that was awesome!
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Enigmatic
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[Cool] Yeah, that's what all the ladies say, too. / [Cool]

--Enigmatic

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OSTY
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walk up to someone and lick your finger..then touch your shirt and their shirt and say "What do you say we get out of these wet clothes."
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Treason
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I walked riiiight into that one.
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