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Actually, I don't know what the worst writing ever published is, so I'm sorry if you clicked looking for a revelation. But perhaps you can help me.
I'm doing a project for English where my group is going to explore very bad writing in the sci-fi and fantasy genres. Now, I know it's not too hard to find bad books in these genres, but I'm really looking for the most disgustingly bad, the most over written, pretentious, lifeless prose imaginable. My first thought was 'Hey, I'll ask Orson! He must know some real crap.' But contacting the man seems dubious, so I turn to you.
Ever heard of the Bulwer-Lytton contest? I want a list of books that bad. Know any?
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Bad cover art is often (but not always!) and indicator of bad writing. I'd try going to a bookstore and just browsing around.
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Or, really, almost any book written by an unknown author in a universe either created by a famous author or based off of a film/t.v. series.
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Hey, Planet X, a crossover about how the X-Men traveled to the Star Trek galaxy to fight genetically engineered mutants was a REALLY cool book!
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I'd have to put Piers Anthony's A Spell for Chameleon on that list. It still galls me that he got paid for that - let alone won an award.
Oh, oh, and The Crystal Star by Vonda McIntyre - that is the *worst* Star Wars book ever written. And judging by many of the others, this is an accomplishment.
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Wretched. Reading it hurt both my head and my eyes. And my fingers. Basically it was psychological and physical torture.
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Almost everything being mentioned so far is award-winning bestseller material compared to the link ElJay posted (which is not just online fanfic, that was an actual published novel).
The worst writing published in something that I actually own would be the second story in this anthology. But the eigth story would be among the best.
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What is the goal of finding horribly bad SF/F in this class? Hopefully not to indocrinate the class that sci fi has no literary value.
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Ah, the Eye of Argon. I haven't read that in ages. Bless you, Tel the Head, for causing ElJay to bring it to my attention once more. And thank you, ElJay, for bringing it to my attention once more.
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Hey, Enig, he said he was looking for disgustingly bad. Of course I'm gonna say he should go read the worst swill ever written. Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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Stormblade, by Nancy Varian Berberick. I still have nightmares from my younger years reading AD&D novels. Also, anything by Ed Greenwood, and the "poetry" in the Dragonlance universe written by Michael Williams will make your toes hurt.
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As were books 4-8 of The Wheel of Time (I have never made it past #8).
"Fallen Empire" by Terry Goodkind (thank you, Icarus) was possibly the most painful read in recent memory.
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quote:Originally posted by Jhai: Bad cover art is often (but not always!) and indicator of bad writing. I'd try going to a bookstore and just browsing around.
I don't know about that. The cover art for most of the Alvin Maker series is atrocious. Even at its best, most of OSC's book covers are really generic.
In reply to the topic, I'd suggest looking at most of the Star Wars books as an example of how not to write a series. Like FlyingCow said, Crystal Star is really terrible. Other books I'd "recommend" are Vector Prime, Children of The Jedi, and The New Rebellion.
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"Have you got a band-aid? My life fluid is escaping."
EDIT: And I'll third SM's and Noemon's question, because that also went through my mind when I initially read the thread.
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ElJay, can I take credit for introducing you to the Eye of Argon, or had you seen it elsewhere first? Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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The Green Slime Awards are given out every year to the worst speculative fiction. They're awarded in Albuquerque, and http://home.att.net/~bubonicon/html/history/history.htm#past lists the winners from each year. You've gotta scroll a bit, past other factoids about the con.
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Sword of Shanarra was one of my all-time favorite books. Seriously, I loved the whole series.
When I first read Speaker for the dead, I hated it. Then I grew up, expanded my vocabulary, and voila... once i UNDERSTOOD the book, I loved it. It's now sitting on my shelf of "THe best books of all time." Along with, well, everything OSC.
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I admit, when I'm really down and need fluff, I read them, but as I'm reading them I'm incredibly ashamed of myself.
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"Badly written" is largely a matter of taste, but for "technically badly written" Bulwer-Lyttoning stuff, I would look to the early pulps: "Doc Savage", "Tarzan" and their like have been described by modern critics as unreadably bad.
They're some of my favorite stuff to read , but from a "foofy English-professor" standpoint they're gawd-awful.
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Would Roger ever forgive her? Nicole wondered pensively, crossing and re-crossing her lissom ivory legs beneath the gossamer fabric of her party dress, her mind ever going back to that horrible, horrible moment, when, overcome with passion, she leaned forward to touch his lips with her own, only to find from deep within her shapely bosom the awful rumblings of an imminent belch . . . and then, as though fate had not been sufficiently mordant, she found herself -- as she looked up into Roger's handsome and somewhat puzzled face, so recently brushed by the aroma of partly digested Coca-Cola and Beanie Weenies -- overcome with nervous reaction, yelling up at him, "There's more where that came from!"
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On my shelf at work is a book entitled "Jack Ruby's Kitchen Sink" that I picked up from the "headed to the trash heap" stack.
It just sounded so bad that I had to pick it up. Sadly, it sounds so incredibly bad that I can't make myself even crack it open.
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#2) Ricardo Pinto's (currently unfinished) trilogy. The only thing worse than Book 1 is Book 2, and I'm hoping Book 3 simply self-ignites whenever someone opens it.
#3) Battlefield Earth. This would've made a great 300 page novel. It is, however, an absolutely horrid 800 page novel.
#4) Any Dune novel after the 2nd or 3rd one (individual results may vary).
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Since there are people here who were unfamiliar with the Eye of Argon, would someone like to explain how the game works? I would, but I wasn't at whichever con where it was played, so couldn't do it justice.
--Enigmatic (just wants to hear the story again)
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i think eragon is pretty bad. i actually read the first and second book, and the relationship it has with the Star Wars storyline.
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To answer a few questions, the project is not aimed at making SF look bad. The class itself is on sci fi and fantasy, and I thought it would be very informative to read the worst of the worst in those genres. Thanks for all the great selections.
So far, these two have caught my eye; The Eye of Argon ("You make love well, wench!") And Galaxy 666 (anyone know where I can find a few copies?)
Those two seem the most shockingly bad, and also not too long (not trilogies, not Battlefield Earth). Anymore suggestions in the nobel vein of these two?
Thanks again for all your help.
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, but from a "foofy English-professor" standpoint they're gawd-awful.
