Twenty Thousand Posts. Attributed to the great poet and world leader, Coffee Anon.
Toss’d ‘pon the wine-dark sea, When rosey-fingered dawn awakes. A silent knight, slender and mild Beckons to us, follow, follow, follow.
Chorus: It started with an Ender A paradox, to be sure A web’d sight The new bard’s living room
Sotto voce: and board!
quote: Scene I: The keep Enter what appears to be some sort of lawyer, or perhaps a 3rd year law student, bearing a scroll He looks down at scroll, exits, returns at a run with a larger scroll.
He is followed into the room by a large crowd of seemingly baffled people, most of whom are wearing shirts bearing the name of <insert name here>-Con.
Reading from scroll: “Whereas, and whereat, unto the parties engage-ed herewith, Something, something, something… And so therefore, what has been done may have been legal, And will perhaps BE legal in future, Because it is we, the ones who did it, who … um… did it.” <drops scroll, with a vengeance>
Various comments are shouted from the crowd. It’s difficult to tell what is really being said, but some snippets of speech seem to break through the din:
I disagree! God said so. You should go back and re-read it. I asked her out. She said yes! We’re getting married! Seems vaguely immoral to me. Should I go to the doctor if my leg falls off? Again? We want pictures! That’s the most offensive thing I’ve ever heard. Fanboy! My scroll bar goes backwards. Wench! Spoiler Alert! Good Dobie. Nice Dobie.
Chorus A mighty wind, blowing hard Look! ‘Tis a man of straw! Posing, gesturing in wild gyrations As he, awkward slides down, down the slippery slope An unsubstantiated claim swoops low.
Words, flow o’er us As we go up the wracking torrent.
Sotto VoceSans oar!
quote: SILENCE! Make way for the king!
Hey, he’s not the king! He’s just the highest count.
Shhh…
You shush! Who are you to say shush?
I’m the janitor.
You don’t look like her.
I’m the new one.
Oh.
Chorus: The king, the queen, the janitor They all glance this way. “Come and join the merry band,” They say, “Come and join the band”
Sotto voce: the banned?!!!
quote: LATER THAT DAY Scene: “living room” of the castle
Jester: Three things doth a king make <ticks them off one finger at a time, first words loudly, the others as soft side comments> Popularity – not bought cheaply, may I add? A kingly bearing – oft in a gilty chair, And something else – you could not handle it.
The “KING”: Methinks this jester needs a gesture. Bring the fair one with the Scottish mein!
Lady Mac: this jester is too familiar by half! I know a smith down zion way that fits him to a T. By your leave, my lord, I’ll underscore this merry varlet and his motley will be even looser than his tongue. <draws her sword>
Jester: Your rapier wit doth foil me, fair maiden. Wouldst’ thou be mine? I do not claim to ‘member your weapon, but the sheathe thereof fits my own . . . like a glove.
--I--
The King: Now that’s well in hand, I’m in the mood for lively discourse. What shall it be my lords, m’ladies? The dangers of too liberal a ruler? The proper respect for God? A philosopher on a stick? A history lesson? Commentary on the arts?
Chorus: Awake oh tempest toss’d Time pounds your rocky shores to sand! You do battle with the wind and fog And your shelter is a house of cards.
Sotto voce Suits me. It’s sort of like a club then, eh? A diamond in the ruff? I am trump’d. Let’s not even discuss your ante climax. Should’ve known better than to poker.
quote: THUMP
THUMP
THUMP
THUMP
<the giant approaches> <he “appears” French> <his screen name is anyway>
Tour dans le pounchboule (a giant): I AM AN EMISSARY FROM THE LAND OF SECULAR GENDER-FREE COMMUNALISM, avec THE STRONG TRADITIONALIST BENT OF ROMAN CATHOLICISM, avec A LONG HISTORY OF AMBIVALENCE TOWARD JEWS, ARABS, GERMANS, y DES AMERICAINS. I AM HERE TO DISCUSS HOW RIGHT I AM REGARDING HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGE, THE SANCTITY OF LIFE (AFTER 3 MONTHS GESTATIONAL PERIOD), ZIONISM, MY (not your) GOD, THE SUPERIORITY OF APPLE MACKINTOSH COMPUTERS, HOW SUPERMAN COULD WHIP BOTH BATMAN AND SPIDERMAN, AND WHO SHOULD PLAY ENDER IN THE UPCOMING MOVIE.
Oooh! Would you look at that! I didn’t know moose could fly.
Isn’t the plural of moose, “mooses?”
I don’t think so. How many meeses are there now anyway?
I hate ALL CAPS.
Well don’t wear one then.
Tour dans le P…: i am leaving now you people hate me and are mean to les nouvelles personnes besides i was really just conducting a science experiment on you and my paper is finished so i don’t need you anymore.
He wasn’t French.
Nope. His declination of the plu-perfect was a dead giveaway.
Plus, French people have accents.
Yeah. Tough to write those on a BB though.
You could if you spin it.
I fail to see the bearing on this discussion.
Whatever happened to T. dans le P? I kind of miss him.
He had a certain style, neh?
Chorus And now a hero late arrives He’s plucky, And powned,
Sotto voce By a pastor!
Chorus: <looking perplexed> Like Johnny Appleseed, of lore He comes out of the East. The southeast. Well, the CFC anyway.
He plants his, um, whatchamacallits And rides away, and back And plants some more And leaves, and comes back Frankly, he seems a little obsessed.
Sotto voce Get a grip!
Chorus: Oops, where were we? And many years later, (Long after the rhyme scheme died,) Every few feet or so Along this winding river A stick in the mud A pole, a branchless tree Sprang up wherever he had been.
sotto voce: It’s a sign!
Chorus: Sticking out, not so far Never too deep. Never that!
And yet, there are so many Every one underlining the space between two truths
sotto voceOh that’s what that little underscore character is. Yeah right.
Chorus: No! The truths are: That fluff, mere fluff And puns, Sure do add up over the years 20,000 posts, give or take
sotto voce oh, I get it, the sticks are “posts.” Cute. It’s sort of a lot to read through just to get to one lame @ss pun, but hey, it’s YOUR flippin’ landmark, so whatever, dude.
Bob_Scopatz: Sorry if it was a little corny.
sotto voce No, puns about hominy are a little corny. This was like all of Iowa corny. Like the grain elevator from hell. And you left out a bunch of people too.
Bob_Scopatz: Yeah, sorry about that. It was getting really long and I was getting tired.
sotto voce Well, at least it wasn’t an onanism thread.
Bob_Scopatz: Or too self-referential.
sotto voce Same thing.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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posted
Great stuff Bob! I think the bit with Lady Mac and the Jester was my single favorite part of it.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
Bob: Dem dares alota posts since September 2000 64 months, 256 weeks, 20,000 posts, averages are: 78.12 posts a week, 11.1 posts a day.
I do still lurk from time to time and have enjoyed reading much of what you say and observing how your political and social views have evolved over the years.
posted
That made me so happy... words cant even explain ::sotto voice:: And Bob, by the way, I just so happen to be a major producer (Andrew Loyd Webber got his middle name from me), and I'd be VERY interested in creating a sort of Monty Python meets The Pirates of Penzance MONTAGE out of this. Think about it, darling. Just think about it. ::end sotto voice::
Posts: 499 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
Awesome! Awesome!Awesome! Awesome! That was supremely awesome. I could so see that being performed. If it is, a promise must be kept to take pics or video or both of the performance.
Encore! Encore! Brava! Brava!
/bows to utter genius which is better than udder genius
Posts: 822 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Though, I wonder if the fact that one of the things that amused me the most was the fact that you titled it "20000 posts -- a 'myflay'" makes me strange.
Posts: 1901 | Registered: May 2004
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posted
So much funny, so many puns, so much innuendo, i can see it verily well perfumed with much aplum (putting it in retrospective). Myflay is a different kind of myspace only with a stranger bubble and more glycerin. I am well-pleased and wroth with desire to view the Bard's works *sidebar* agin.
Posts: 1423 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Happy 20K and I hope you stick around for the rest of all of our natural lives....and after that. ![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
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Happy 20,000 Bob.
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