posted
(--couldn't find the old thread, but needed to do one--)
Dear You,
You said you were going to fight for me. You call that fighting for me? Fighting for someone *costs*. It's like standing up for what you believe in -- you don't do it because it's going to make you look good and you don't *not* do it because you're afraid of stepping on people's toes. If you were afraid of stepping on toes, then you were never really going to fight for me in the first place, because you never really believed in me. Because when you believe, by God, you step.
Remember the way I fought for R? For V? And before them, for D?
That's how it's done. I know I'm not good at a lot of things but if there's one thing I am good at, it's fighting for the people I believe in.
And now that you didn't fight for me, stop feeding me the company line. It hurts to hear it. It's not okay. It's really not. Don't tell me it's okay.
You should have fought for me. That's all.
Sincerely,
Troy/ Nixon and me
Posts: 2267 | Registered: May 2005
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I know money is tight for you, and that you think I have so much more then you, but that is an illusion. You actually make more then I do, so when you take the food I made for my lunches and for my dinner you are taking food out of my mouth.
It isn't funny and it isn't ok, I spend more money on food because I have prioritized my spending. That doesn't mean that my food is fair game--that means that when you take the chili or soup that I've made for MY work to YOUR work that you are STEALING.
I didn't say anything the first couple of times, because I felt bad that you might not have anything else to eat. But now you have expanded to taking foods that are quite expensive and time consuming to prepare.
I try to be generous, giving, and helpful, but I think that you have finally reached my selfish core. The dish you took today was much more then you could eat in one sitting, it was several lunches that you are wasting, because you took it without asking and without trying it, and I can guarentee that you wont like it.
In the future, please don't assume that anything I prepare is yours to take. Try to understand the concequences of your taking my food. Did you realize that when you ate all my food over Christmas break and I returned too sick to go get more that I didn't have anything to eat while I tried to regain my strength?
Sincerely,
Your Frustrated Room mate
Posts: 234 | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
sarcare, sounds like you need a padlock for your fridge. I used to have housemates like that, and it sucks.
Posts: 1785 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
Sarcare, I hope that letter actually goes to the intended "you," or preferably that you have that conversation, and that it doesn't remain just a vent here on Hatrack--he/she needs to know!
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Or you could always spike your food with something and leave it out for him to steal Or you could talk to him and tell him what you told us.
Posts: 2054 | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Well, I feel really bad because I had previously told her she could eat my food, when she said she didn't have enough money to buy food. She had said that she hadn't eaten all day, and I felt terrible that I had food and she had none. But this just made me so mad, because it was a full half of a batch of chili, more then anyone could eat. But I don't know how I could tell her about my objection without sounding like a hypocrite. And in truth I am one, because I selfishly don't mind if she eats the canned food or inexpensive food, but when she eats all of the food or wastes it, it makes me so angry. But I would feel terrible if she starved while I have food she could eat. Such a dillema--cause if I say anything she'll just go without food. If there was some way I could tell her what food was ok for her to eat and what food to leave alone, then I wouldn't feel so bad.
Posts: 234 | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
"Roomie, I know I said you could eat my food, but I really need you to ask before taking full meals that I've prepared. There was enough chili there for a couple of meals, and I didn't have anything to take for lunch because you took it. I'm okay with helping out when it's the end of a pay period and you're waiting for your check, but I'm not okay with being the only one buying food for this household. I budget so I can buy good food, and I'd like to be able to eat some of it, too."
If you say that last bit kinda humorously, it might take the sting off and let you guys talk about it. If she gets defensive about not being able to afford food, I'd ask if she realizes that she makes more money than you do. But because you told her it was okay, it's not stealing. . . she might think that you were graciously making extra food and leaving it in the fridge so she'd have something to eat. :/ Misguided and selfish, but not exactly theft.
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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Or you could talk to him and tell him what you told us.
