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Author Topic: The Duel and the advent of Omnipo-soup
Black Mage
Member # 5800

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Evie and I have dueled. Here follows the events of this morning.

I am RochtalAlphkrist. Evie is obvious. Our seconds change often.

You have just entered room "sworddueltothedeath."
Who Broke My TV has entered the room.
punjabi gal13 has entered the room.
RochtalAlphkrist: Duelers, here?
punjabi gal13: I am loving the name of this room
evie3217: I am here
Who Broke My TV: yo yo
RochtalAlphkrist: Seconds too.
RochtalAlphkrist: All right.
RochtalAlphkrist: Quite simple.
RochtalAlphkrist: This is to be a duel of swords, entirely spoken.
RochtalAlphkrist: Should a dueler be rendered unable to continue, the second must take up their sword.
RochtalAlphkrist: Are we ready, Evie?
evie3217: I am ready
RochtalAlphkrist: Good.
RochtalAlphkrist: *draws sword*
evie3217: *draws sword and holds it in front of her face*
RochtalAlphkrist: *a stylish sort, that you might find at Pier One if they sold weapons*
Who Broke My TV: am i allowed to laugh?
RochtalAlphkrist: ::clash!::
RochtalAlphkrist: Sure thing, mate.
RochtalAlphkrist: *strikes for legs*
evie3217: *Abby jabs*
RochtalAlphkrist: *dodge*
RochtalAlphkrist: *Phillip slashes*
evie3217: *blocks8
evie3217: *parries*
RochtalAlphkrist: *does triple somersault*
evie3217: WHAT!
RochtalAlphkrist: *and a cheesy lensflare*
RochtalAlphkrist: Well, jeez, let's make this impressive to watch.
punjabi gal13: lmao
RochtalAlphkrist: It's not like it ended with a kick.
evie3217: *runs to wall and flips over facing the opponent, sword ready*
RochtalAlphkrist: *draws swordchucks . . .*
RochtalAlphkrist: Ow!
evie3217: *turns one sword into two and twirls them around her head*
RochtalAlphkrist: *realizes to hold swordchucks is to slice off several fingers*
RochtalAlphkrist: Goodbye, index.
RochtalAlphkrist: Goodbye, thumb.
evie3217: hahah
RochtalAlphkrist: *throws swordchucks with full ninja skills*
evie3217: *takes this opportunity to lunge, missing the swordchucks, and strikes out with her sword
evie3217: *
RochtalAlphkrist: AUGH!
RochtalAlphkrist: That jacket was expensive, you know!
evie3217: they always are
RochtalAlphkrist: *calls on gods of corduroy to guide my sword*
RochtalAlphkrist: Hamina hamina swish!
evie3217: corduroy? then it was meant to be distroyed
RochtalAlphkrist: *slices*
evie3217: *dices*
RochtalAlphkrist: *juliennes*
punjabi gal13: *prepares self to take the place of now gimpy and fashion-impaired first*
evie3217: *juices*
RochtalAlphkrist: *cubes*
RochtalAlphkrist: *deep fries*
evie3217: *batters*
evie3217: *chops*
RochtalAlphkrist: *cuts into gingerbread men*
RochtalAlphkrist: *covers in sprinkles*
evie3217: *sauces*
RochtalAlphkrist: *and chocolate chips*
evie3217: mmmMmm
RochtalAlphkrist: Now your guard's down.
RochtalAlphkrist: *jabs*
RochtalAlphkrist: *slices*
evie3217: DAMNIT!
RochtalAlphkrist: Just a flesh wound, eh?
evie3217: *blocks the slice*
evie3217: I'll live *determined look on her face*
RochtalAlphkrist: Hm.
evie3217: *lunges*
RochtalAlphkrist: *gods of corduroy bless sword*
punjabi gal13 has left the room.
RochtalAlphkrist: *parries*
RochtalAlphkrist: Whoa . ..
evie3217: umm...ouch
RochtalAlphkrist: Time out, let me grab a new second.
evie3217: that's gotta hurt
evie3217: okay
evie3217: having fun Emily?
RochtalAlphkrist: OK, she's back.
Who Broke My TV: oh
Who Broke My TV: yeah
Who Broke My TV: totally
evie3217: oh good
RochtalAlphkrist: Sooner or later.
RochtalAlphkrist: Wait for it . .. wait for it . ..
evie3217: haha....Black Mage, what's your real name?
RochtalAlphkrist: Phillip
evie3217: okay, cool
RochtalAlphkrist: And yours, I suppose, is Abbie?
evie3217: mine's Abby
evie3217: yes sir
RochtalAlphkrist: *Abby
RochtalAlphkrist: All right then, pleasure to get acquainted with my Simulpost Slave.
Who Broke My TV: can i go to bed?
Who Broke My TV: i like
Who Broke My TV: cant keep my eyes open
evie3217: It makes it easier to know the name of your opponent
evie3217: go to sleep emily
evie3217: I'll ttyl
punjabi gal13 has entered the room.
Who Broke My TV: sorry abby haha
Who Broke My TV: good luck!
evie3217: thanks
Who Broke My TV has left the room.
RochtalAlphkrist: Oh, my gal's back!
evie3217: and mine's left
RochtalAlphkrist: And I just invited a new second . ..
evie3217: just a sec
punjabi gal13: yeah, sorry, technical difficulties
RochtalAlphkrist: OK.
RochtalAlphkrist: I can lend you one, if need be.
aqueus in motus has entered the room.
aqueus in motus: what?
punjabi gal13: yay, it's ly-chan :-D
aqueus in motus: wth is his?
RochtalAlphkrist: Emily, would you mind being Abby's second, actually?
RochtalAlphkrist: A duel, darling.
aqueus in motus: second what?
punjabi gal13: it's rather entertaining
evie3217: no, I got one comin
aqueus in motus: what??
Zapppa has entered the room.
aqueus in motus: omg
aqueus in motus: i was girly today
aqueus in motus: i flirted with a guy at work
RochtalAlphkrist: Ly, you can spectate.
RochtalAlphkrist: We're dueling here, darling.
aqueus in motus: who are all these people!!??
RochtalAlphkrist: *lunges at Abby*
evie3217: I'm Abby
RochtalAlphkrist: Erm . . just people.
evie3217: WAIT!
RochtalAlphkrist: Don't worry.
RochtalAlphkrist: Sit back and enjoy the show.
evie3217: we have to explain
RochtalAlphkrist: Fine, fine.
punjabi gal13: yes, love-life details can be given at a later time
RochtalAlphkrist: I challenged Abby to a duel.
punjabi gal13: right now somebody has to um... die.
RochtalAlphkrist: We are now fighting.
evie3217: we needed seconds
evie3217: ok go
RochtalAlphkrist: I called you 'cause I lost Becka for a moment, and thought I needed a new second.
RochtalAlphkrist: All right.
evie3217: *lunges at phillip*
RochtalAlphkrist: *ducks*
evie3217: *jabs*
RochtalAlphkrist: *uses corduroy kick*
evie3217: *Slashes*
RochtalAlphkrist: Learned it from the Karate Kid.
evie3217: nice
RochtalAlphkrist: *slices at neck height*
evie3217: *ducks*
aqueus in motus: beck who are these people?
aqueus in motus: *becka
RochtalAlphkrist: *allows camera to do a slow-motion spin around me*
evie3217: *slices at hip*
punjabi gal13: hush dear, they're trying to kill each other :-P
RochtalAlphkrist: *jumps back*
aqueus in motus: ???
aqueus in motus: @.@
RochtalAlphkrist: Are we allowed to summon creatures of light or darkness to aid us?
evie3217: *does a flip off his back and comes back facing him....staring him down*
RochtalAlphkrist: Such as Scruffy the Puppy?
evie3217: no, it's just us
RochtalAlphkrist: Oh, fine.
evie3217: hahah
punjabi gal13: I can put on devil horns if need be
punjabi gal13: :-P
RochtalAlphkrist: Cool.
punjabi gal13: and pick up a pitchfork at Eddie's Trick shop
RochtalAlphkrist: *spins and uses X-Man powers to multiply swords*
evie3217: would scruffy the puppy be evil?
RochtalAlphkrist: *and bodies, for that matter*
RochtalAlphkrist: Damn straight he is.
RochtalAlphkrist: Now there are three of me.
evie3217: alright then
aqueus in motus: XD
RochtalAlphkrist: Two are holograms.
RochtalAlphkrist: Which will you attack?
evie3217: *does back flip
RochtalAlphkrist: Mwahaha.
RochtalAlphkrist: *does three back flips*
RochtalAlphkrist: *and a swan dive*
aqueus in motus: showoff
evie3217: *does four back flips*
RochtalAlphkrist: *curses at French judge for low score*
punjabi gal13: LMAO
aqueus in motus: hey
RochtalAlphkrist: *throws sword chucks*
aqueus in motus: we're not dissing
aqueus in motus: we're not dissing the french here
RochtalAlphkrist: *again*
evie3217: *ducks matrix style*
Zapppa: *Throws Poke-ball*
punjabi gal13: *cheers Phillip on*
Zapppa: I choose you, Mew-Two, eradicate these simpletons.
aqueus in motus: pppppfff!
RochtalAlphkrist: *shoorts Mewtwo*
Zapppa: *Those who would stand before me are crushed beneath the enormous mental powers of Mew-Two.*
RochtalAlphkrist: I'm allowed to draw a pistol to deal with that sort, no?
evie3217: shoorts? is that a new verb I should knwo about?
RochtalAlphkrist: *leans rather than stands before Zappa*
RochtalAlphkrist: Yes.
evie3217: go afead
punjabi gal13: *puts on cheerleading outfit and is utterly confused at the sight of pompoms... * Um... ra ra ra... go phillip?
Zapppa: *I am covered with the splattered brains of my enemies, and commence consumption of the fallen corpses to rejuvenate my health*
RochtalAlphkrist: To "shoort" is to shoot a garlicked bullet.
evie3217: ahhhhh
RochtalAlphkrist: What's afead?
evie3217: of course
aqueus in motus: lmao
evie3217: ahead**
evie3217: I can't type damnit
Zapppa: Exeunt.
Zapppa has left the room.
RochtalAlphkrist: It's an old Sicilian trick, the garlic.
RochtalAlphkrist: Hm.
evie3217: hhm.....
RochtalAlphkrist: You've lost a second.
evie3217: I know
RochtalAlphkrist: Ly, be a munchkin . ..
aqueus in motus: oh shut up about your sicilian blah blah blah
aqueus in motus: what?
aqueus in motus: munchikin?
punjabi gal13: Ly, you are now Abby's second, I gather
aqueus in motus: i will not be a doughnut whole
aqueus in motus: who is abby??
aqueus in motus: i've never met abby!!
RochtalAlphkrist: Abby is Evie.
evie3217: I'm abby and I'm a very nice person, I promise
RochtalAlphkrist: She's from the Internet.
RochtalAlphkrist: The Internet is for porn.
evie3217: yes...I live there
RochtalAlphkrist: Therefore, Abby is a porn star.
aqueus in motus: are you a real person/
aqueus in motus: oh
RochtalAlphkrist: You'll like her.
aqueus in motus: i forgot
evie3217: hahhahah
aqueus in motus: porn stars don't look like real people
RochtalAlphkrist: Depends.
evie3217: I think that's the best things I've heard in a while
RochtalAlphkrist: Thank you.
RochtalAlphkrist: *executes deep bow*
evie3217: great reasoning as well
RochtalAlphkrist: CRUCIO!
RochtalAlphkrist: Dark wizards always cheat.
evie3217: *pounbds him over the head while in the bow*
aqueus in motus: brb. gotta go do some dishes
RochtalAlphkrist: Ho!
aqueus in motus: no
RochtalAlphkrist: Let's just say screw the seconds.
evie3217: so it's a wizards duel now?
RochtalAlphkrist: Mano a mano.
aqueus in motus: i'm a whore of babylon
RochtalAlphkrist: Just me an you.
RochtalAlphkrist: *and
punjabi gal13: oy, I still want to spectate!!!
RochtalAlphkrist: Sure.
punjabi gal13: I DEMAND IT!!!
RochtalAlphkrist: But no interference.
punjabi gal13: *dies* because you two are entirely too funny
RochtalAlphkrist: Thank you.
punjabi gal13: oh, the only thing I shall be doing is cheering you on, Peanut :-P
evie3217: hahah...you have quite a floowing
RochtalAlphkrist: *calls on WASPs from Connecticut country club*
RochtalAlphkrist: Of course.
punjabi gal13: once I figure out how these work *stares at pompoms*
RochtalAlphkrist: I'm dead sexy.
evie3217: Hey! I am a WASP!
punjabi gal13: you are though :-D
RochtalAlphkrist: So, it's a wizard's duel.
evie3217: well, I'm a porn star, so there
punjabi gal13: if you weren't gay *innocence*
RochtalAlphkrist: Oh no, I've called on your natural allies!
evie3217: *Expelliaramus*
RochtalAlphkrist: Wait, you're in Drama.
RochtalAlphkrist: Hence no WASP will take yor side.
evie3217: your point?
evie3217: hell no, I'm friends with all the WASPs!
RochtalAlphkrist: *draws double-ended, Darth Maul-style wand*
RochtalAlphkrist: Now you're asking for it.
RochtalAlphkrist: IMPEDIMENTA!
evie3217: you're just gonna point it at yourself, you do know that
RochtalAlphkrist: I twirl it, dear.
RochtalAlphkrist: I'm gifted.
evie3217: umm...you dont' have a wand, because I already took it from you...see above
RochtalAlphkrist: This is my second wand.
RochtalAlphkrist: I kill Jedi and take their wands.
evie3217: WHAT!
RochtalAlphkrist: While coughing.
evie3217: no one has 2 wands
evie3217: hahah
RochtalAlphkrist: And talking in a generically east European accent.
RochtalAlphkrist: *fires off curse*
evie3217: Well I'm talking in a Scottish acent*
RochtalAlphkrist: Soviets pwn Scots.
evie3217: *my foul breath stops the spell in it's tracks
RochtalAlphkrist: Sorry, it's just that Communism beats Presbyterianism every time.
punjabi gal13: get to some fighting or I'll be kicking both your hairless pink bahookeys, damnit
RochtalAlphkrist: *swings sword*
RochtalAlphkrist: *blows horn of Gondor*
evie3217: *slices*
evie3217: *brings out the oliphants*
RochtalAlphkrist: *admires sexiness of Aragorn, despite depressing deadness of Aragorn*
RochtalAlphkrist: *helps Gollum season the stew*
evie3217: ahh...I second that
RochtalAlphkrist: *throws boiling stew in Abby's face*
evie3217: AGGHHHH!
RochtalAlphkrist: Whahaha!
evie3217: finds rock and throw it at Phillip's face*
RochtalAlphkrist: You are defenseless against cilantro!
RochtalAlphkrist: Ow!
aqueus in motus: ok, back
RochtalAlphkrist: That was my eye!
RochtalAlphkrist: My bloody eye.
evie3217: *has philip on the ground*
punjabi gal13: *slips phillip some taters*
RochtalAlphkrist: Do you know how hard those are to get nowadays?
evie3217: *with a knife to this throat*
evie3217: do you yield?
aqueus in motus: why aren't they dead yet?
RochtalAlphkrist: *uses taters to make omnipo-stew*
RochtalAlphkrist: *blocks knife with spare tater*
RochtalAlphkrist: I do not.
RochtalAlphkrist: And I shall not..
RochtalAlphkrist: *ladles out bowl of omnipo-stew*
evie3217: *picks up Phillip and crushes him agains the cliff wall*
RochtalAlphkrist: Abby, would you like something to eat?
evie3217: No
RochtalAlphkrist: It's chilly 'round here.
RochtalAlphkrist: Oh, fine.
RochtalAlphkrist: *throws Abby off*
RochtalAlphkrist: *plunges Abby's head in boiling stew*
evie3217: I think you have the cliff mixed up
RochtalAlphkrist: Do you yield, punk?
RochtalAlphkrist: What now?
evie3217: NEVER!
RochtalAlphkrist: *kicks Abby in groin*
evie3217: I wasn't thinking we were at the bottom of the cliff, but oh well
RochtalAlphkrist: How about now?
evie3217: that doesn't affect me as much as it would affect you *Kicks Phillip in the groin*
punjabi gal13: *covers face* ooooooooohhhhh
RochtalAlphkrist: *rolls around on ground, praying for omnipo-stew to save me*
punjabi gal13: it just got ugly
RochtalAlphkrist: *jumps up an lunges*
RochtalAlphkrist: Haha! You missed! I feinted!
evie3217: *jumps out of the way*
RochtalAlphkrist: *audience faints in relief*
aqueus in motus: why isn't QE here? doesn't he fence?
RochtalAlphkrist: *twirls moustache sexily*
evie3217: *slices off the moustache*
RochtalAlphkrist: Now, for my daring finishing move!
evie3217: *and a few fingers with it*
RochtalAlphkrist: *whips sword from Abby's hands*
punjabi gal13: *swoons* Oh phillip! *handkerchief falls to ground*
evie3217: WHAT!
RochtalAlphkrist: *whimpers*
RochtalAlphkrist: I lost my pinkie finger . ..
RochtalAlphkrist: It was so . . .sexy . ..
RochtalAlphkrist: Without it, what power have I?
evie3217: *pulls out a pistol and pistol whips phillip*
RochtalAlphkrist: *dodges*
evie3217: *backhands him*
punjabi gal13: *slips Phillip Indiana Jones bullwhip*
RochtalAlphkrist: *shoots cutlery from nerf gun at Abby*
RochtalAlphkrist: *uses bullwhip with astonishing skill*
RochtalAlphkrist: Do you wear glasses?
evie3217: *blocks with my styrefoam shield*
evie3217: nope
RochtalAlphkrist: Contacts?
evie3217: nope
evie3217: sorry
RochtalAlphkrist: Prosthetics of any kind?
evie3217: no, but I am radioactive at the moment
RochtalAlphkrist: Fine.
punjabi gal13: take her bra off with it phillip!!!
evie3217: does that help
aqueus in motus: @.@!
RochtalAlphkrist: *removes underwear with whip*
RochtalAlphkrist: You're one sick hummer-sexial, Becka.
punjabi gal13: :-D
RochtalAlphkrist: *Abby's undies, not mine*
evie3217: *uses super powers with amazing force to run at Phillip and take back her panties
punjabi gal13: I'd say I try, but it really just comes naturally :-P
RochtalAlphkrist: *sells panties on eBay*
RochtalAlphkrist: *calls on pirate army*
evie3217: no one would buy them
RochtalAlphkrist: *fuses it with ninja army*
punjabi gal13: *all dorks in universe worship the panties, like the scene on 16 Candles*
evie3217: *calls on ninja army*
evie3217: you can't have both
RochtalAlphkrist: Oh .. .
RochtalAlphkrist: *pirate army sends out representative for battle*
aqueus in motus: ::shakes head::
RochtalAlphkrist: We call on . . .Orlando Depp!
evie3217: ATTACK! *chaos ensues*
RochtalAlphkrist: YARG!
punjabi gal13: totally a Molly Ringwald moment there
RochtalAlphkrist: YARG!
RochtalAlphkrist: YARG!
RochtalAlphkrist: *slices and dices all bodices in the vicinity*
evie3217: ---- Ninjas don't say anytthing when they fight
evie3217: they just dart and kill everything in their path
punjabi gal13: *clasps bosom in shock* PHILLIP!!! *blushes in shame*
RochtalAlphkrist: *pirates decorate belts with throwing stars*
RochtalAlphkrist: Oh don't worry, darling, they're lovely.
punjabi gal13: *stomps over, grabs bodice* I'll take that BACK, tyvm
RochtalAlphkrist: Fine.
RochtalAlphkrist: Women . ..
evie3217: *spins around thrusts sword out killing many pirate
evie3217: okay, my mind is starting to face *kills Phillip*
evie3217: fade**
RochtalAlphkrist: Mine was there from the beginning.
punjabi gal13: oh no, sadness
RochtalAlphkrist: AVADA KEDAVRA!
evie3217: It's past 1, and I promised myself I was going to bed early
RochtalAlphkrist: Fine.
punjabi gal13: lol
evie3217: you're dead, you can't talk
aqueus in motus: thank you
RochtalAlphkrist: Do you concede?
aqueus in motus: now can we speak
punjabi gal13: it's his ghost
aqueus in motus: like normal peo
RochtalAlphkrist: I'm not dead yet!
aqueus in motus: oh jesus!
RochtalAlphkrist: I feel happy!
evie3217: I killed you!
aqueus in motus: why can't you die already!
RochtalAlphkrist: I feel happy!
punjabi gal13: you just killed his evil twin
aqueus in motus: no, hush1
RochtalAlphkrist: It's just a flesh wound!
evie3217: oh, now twins are involved in this?
aqueus in motus: he's dead!
aqueus in motus: no!
aqueus in motus: they aren't!
aqueus in motus: he's dead!
RochtalAlphkrist: I had two extras, recall?
evie3217: your head's been cut off!
RochtalAlphkrist: I made them early on.
punjabi gal13: *steps in*
aqueus in motus: ...
punjabi gal13: That's right.
aqueus in motus: ::weird people::
punjabi gal13: hehehe
aqueus in motus: make up your mind as to the mental state of your brain, please
RochtalAlphkrist: All right, we'll call it a draw.
evie3217: well...then *kills other two phillips*
punjabi gal13: emily is so overwhelmed by all this
aqueus in motus: be dead or alive, not both
evie3217: alright, we shall duel again
RochtalAlphkrist: Oh.
evie3217: it's a draw
RochtalAlphkrist: *ghost kills Abby*
RochtalAlphkrist: Fine.
RochtalAlphkrist: Draw.

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Member # 5426

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Ahh.....good times. We must duel again Phillip. I might be more coherent for the next one.
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Tante Shvester
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Oh dear! Is this what I'm missing by not AIM-ing? And here I was thinking it was all silliness.
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Member # 2199

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You only avoid chat because it doesn't have a post counter.... [Wink]
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Tante Shvester
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Well, that too. I mean, how will I have an objective measure of just how much time I am wasting if no one keeps track for me?
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Black Mage
Member # 5800

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Ooh, ooh, I know!

You can save your conversations and post them on Hatrack later!

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Member # 9002

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That was great.
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Member # 524

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wow, the first half of the duel was fun to read... then i scrolled down and saw that i was only halfway done reading. u guys could start your own internet skits, very comical.
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Member # 3162

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Huh. Here I thought this would be a thread about the 1971 Steven Spielberg movie.


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Storm Saxon
Member # 3101

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That duel was the awesome. [Smile]
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Member # 8863

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Can I get in on another duel?
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Black Mage
Member # 5800

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Wow, we have challengers. Why does the HP-obsessed part of my brain tell me to make a Gilderoy handle and start a dueling club?
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Gilderoy Lockhart
New Member
Member # 9016

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Oh yeah. Now it's on.
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