posted
I started this thread on another forum about a year ago after a girl in my ethics class raised her hand to ask, "So, like, was Socrates a Christian?"
Some people say stupid things in class or at work (or anywhere, really). I reserve this thread for the express purpose of sharing a few of the inane things we've heard other people say.
You're welcome to comment on other people's posts, but try to keep the spamming to a minimum.
Here are some of my favorites that others posted:
"I need to change my course to Psychology. Wait, how do you spell psychology?"
Professor: "....ergo, marriage is sacred". Student: "Wait a second... was Ergo Catholic?"
"Hume's spoon is broken into analytic, synthetic, and-- wait, did I just say 'spoon'? It's definitely 'fork'. Sorry about that, I'm not good with utensils." - My philosophy of the mind professor
Coming out of the theatre after watching episode three, i hear the following: "DUDE! That was so awesome! I can't wait for them to make number four! "
"I want some coffee." "What size?" "Coffee." "Size, sir?" "You know, coffee!" "What size, sir." "COFFEE."
At the movie theater tonight - "I'd like a water please." "A large or a small?" "Oh, a large I guess." "I'm sorry, we're out of large." (This is said without checking to see if they have any water. She KNEW they were out of the large.) "... Then I guess I'll have a small one."
a bunch of us were hanging out a few years ago and someone mentioned that Mountain Dew cuased low sperm count. Suddenly one girl got really quiet. Then she said "In girls too?"
A friend of mine picked up an avacado and said 'Oh hey, a raw guacamole'
Her: (overheard conversation) I'm a huge Lord of the Rings fan. I'm, like, THE biggest fan in the world. I'm a total geek. Me: (joining in) No shame in that. Tolkien's the man. Her: ...who? Me: Tolkien. The guy who... wrote it... Her: They're making it into books now?
posted
I had a professor that was very big into Freudian analysis of Greek myth. In the honors section of the class, one of my classmates asked if we'd be reading any Jung, and pronounced it the way it's spelled.
Professor (pronouncing it correctly): Jung? Well, I'm probably not.... Girl (interrupting): No, Jung! Professor (still pronouncing it correctly, emphasizing his pronunciation this time, trying to clue her in without embarassing her) Jung's work is.... Girl (interrupting again): No, Jung--J-U-N-G. Jung.
I have rarely been more embarassed for someone in an academic setting.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
Senior Girl: Ok, so, like, if a guy gets an [erection] in a swimming pool...like, do all the girls get pregnant?
Posts: 4313 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
One girl at the school I went to in London argued vehemently that Chicago is a state.
Another one declared that it rains a lot in London because "it's near the ocean and the wind just kind of picks up all the water and throws it at us."
Yet another girl, after having said one of many dumb things, was told affectionately, "You just get blonder every day." Her response? A very confused, "But I haven't done anything to my hair!"
posted
I read the title of this thread and went "WHAT THE FRACK!?!?!"
Glad to see it's celebrating stupid people.
Incidentally, did you know that Thomas Jefferson both wrote the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1492 and freed the slaves in 1924?
Posts: 3932 | Registered: Sep 1999
| IP: Logged |
quote:"I'm sorry, we're out of large." (This is said without checking to see if they have any water. She KNEW they were out of the large.) "... Then I guess I'll have a small one."
I can see how that could happen. It's easy to go on autopilot in boring jobs and automatically ask "what size" without thinking about it.
quote:Girl (interrupting again): No, Jung--J-U-N-G. Jung.
This sort of thing has happened to me many times. It's one of the curses of reading a lot.
quote:"But I haven't done anything to my hair!"
This sort of thing has happened to me many times as well. I eventually decided that I refuse to be embarassed for assuming that people mean what they said.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
My personal favorite. On the last day of my astronomy class last semester we talked about life in the universe and the ways we've attempted to make contact with alien life. At the end of the lecture one girl raised her hand, very confused, to ask "How can we be sure that aliens will speak English?"
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
I was an academic-team geek in H.S. Once, during a practice, our coach asked the question: "According to an old adage, [blank] makes the heart grow fonder." One of the girls raised her hand, and said "Love?--no, that's wrong, I meant to say Abstinence."
Posts: 786 | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged |
quote:I was an academic-team geek in H.S. Once, during a practice, our coach asked the question: "According to an old adage, [blank] makes the heart grow fonder." One of the girls raised her hand, and said "Love?--no, that's wrong, I meant to say Abstinence."
posted
In my sophomore year of high school I took a trip with the band to Orlando, Fl. Standing in line for a ride (I forget which) at Epcot Center, I overheard this exchange between a friend and a random passer-by (he was clearly American).
Random Passer-By: Where y'all from? Friend: Hilo. RPB: Where's that? Fr: Hawai'i. RPB: Oh...where's that? Fr: ....In the middle of the Pacific Ocean...
There may have been more; I wouldn't know because I was rolling around laughing.
Posts: 2907 | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:a bunch of us were hanging out a few years ago and someone mentioned that Mountain Dew caused low sperm count. Suddenly one girl got really quiet. Then she said "In girls too?"
-o-
(FWIW, I think Augustine argued essentially this thread's titular assertion.)
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Icarus: (FWIW, I think Augustine argued essentially this thread's titular assertion.)
You're right; he did. But we don't like Augustine.
Actually, and more to the point, had my classmate thought of her question from the Augustinian perspective, there wouldn't currently be three internet forum threads paying homage to her ridiculousness. She didn't just mean that Socrates just followed a Christian-like philosophy; she thought that Socrates was actually a follower of Christ--a contention made impossible by the fact that Socrates lived over four hundred years before Christ.
And now back on track. Here are more:
Amanda: "I had to save all my stuff today at work. They formatted my hard drive. I couldn't use it for like an entire hour." Wayne: "It took an hour ?" Amanda: "Yeah. Well, he had to format my printer too."
Teacher: "You need to know your symbolism for this test. Matthew is the man, lion is Mark, ox is Luke, eagle is John. Girl: Umm, is this .. a code? Teacher: They are the Apostles. Girl: Is this a children's story? Teacher: ... wuh ... It's Christian religious symbolism. Girl: Ohhh! I didn't know animals could become apostles! Teacher: Okay, I'll back up.
Friend 2: Fish don't eat other fish! That's cannibalism. Friend 1: No, big fish eat little fish, and little fish eat-- Friend 2: But that's like Michael Jordan eating Tammy [our 4'8" Asian girl friend]! The rest of us: ... Friend 1: I think fish eat different species of fish. Friend 2: But Tammy and Michael Jordan are different species! She's a girl, a different race, and short!
guy: girl, what nationality are you? me: ...american. guy: ... me: you mean ethnicity? guy: yeah that me: korean guy: so what do you talk, like chinese or something?
quote:Originally posted by quidscribis: My motto: people are dumb.
I've never been proven wrong yet...
That is very true. In fact, it has been proven that around half of the people in the world are below median intelligence.
Posts: 2437 | Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
This one isn't so much stupid as just funny.
French professor: Qu'est-ce que tu as mange ce matin? Kid: Uh--j'ai mange des oeufs. FP: Combien? Kid: ... FP: Combien? Kid: ... FP: How many? Kid: Uh. They were scrambled. FP: ... Kid: Beaucoup?
Posts: 910 | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
"I can't believe that out of all the conversations we've had, not one of you guys ever mentioned that hemlock is poisonous."
Posts: 196 | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Fyfe: This one isn't so much stupid as just funny.
French professor: Qu'est-ce que tu as mange ce matin? Kid: Uh--j'ai mange des oeufs. FP: Combien? Kid: ... FP: Combien? Kid: ... FP: How many? Kid: Uh. They were scrambled. FP: ... Kid: Beaucoup?
Boy, oh boy! That sure is a knee-slapper! Hoo!
Posts: 4753 | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
Heh, I love the "Here's your sign!" bit, but with this thread it certainly has a different flavor than the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, hehe.
Posts: 17164 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
I was talking to my brother yesterday, and he told me about 4 stories that belong in this thread, just from his microbiology class.
Teacher: Then, after Lou Gehrig died from ALS, or Lou Gehrig's disease, as it's now known. . .
Joe (to the girl sitting next to him): Man, how'd he not see that coming?
Girl (dead serious): Yeah, that is a coincidence.
-----
Chad (yelling at his girlfriend): You are trash, Regan! T-R-A-C-H trash!
-----
Girl: Aren't you hot? Jonas: This jacket has tiny perforations, not visible to the naked eye which makes it quite breezy. Girl: ?? Jeff: He's not cold.
-----
JT: I'd like a bacon cheeseburger, plain. Nothing but meat and cheese. Waitress: Do you want the bacon? JT: Bacon's a meat. Waitress: Oh, right.
-----
Girl: I don't think I'm going out tonight, I'm feeling kind of sick. JT: Drinking will help you fight off the sickness. The alcohol kills the germs in your body. Girl: Really? JT: No.
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Never underestimate the power and beauty of human stupidity. Jesse's Law I
"Hey, taking these pills isn't as bad as taking other drugs. I mean, a doctor prescribed them to somebody." Friend in high school who needed a lot of help.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
(Phone rings)A day at work K: Thanks for calling Kodiaks this is K how can I help you? C: Hi is this Kodiaks? K: (Thinking: Um is there an echo in here?) Yes it is how can I help you? C: Hi I was wondering if you have a turkey special today? K: Yes we do it is Maple Turkey, bacon and provolon on multi-grain. If that is not what you are looking for you could also create your own turkey sandwich to your liking. C: Oh that sounds good. I will take that but can I please have ham and not maple turkey? K: (Thinking: You called to ask for a TURKEY special, which you claimed sounded good, but you want HAM!?!) You sure can, however I will not be able to charge you the special price because you change the meat. (Not sure this is a real rule but we were busy and she was annoying!) C: That is fine. What soups do you have to come with that? K: We have Chicken Pot Pie, Golden Broccoli and Cheese, Garden Veg and Chili C: Do you have Chicken and Dumpling? K: (Thinking: Ah yes I did in fact forget to tell you this soup) No not today C: Okay I will take the sandwich with the pot pie and will be there in a few to pick it up
(15 min later when she came to get it)
C: Pick up order for C K: yes it is right here can I get you something to drink? C: Do you have Cherry Coke? K: Yes C: Okay I will take a medium Coke K: I am sorry was that a coke or a cherry coke? C: Just a coke. Do you have chicken and dumpling today? K: (Thinking: yes we do I only tell our phone customers that as a joke...man I am funny but since you saw threw it I will get you your soup!) No not today C: Will you have some later today? K: (Thinking: I do often get out fresh soup to serve the last hour of us being open!) No usually on wednesdays we have some C: Okay well I will stop in tomorrow to see if we have some
Posts: 416 | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
guy: girl, what nationality are you? me: ...american. guy: ... me: you mean ethnicity? guy: yeah that me: korean guy: so what do you talk, like chinese or something?
"And now, just to reinforce your stereotype, I'm going to be forced to pummel your butt with kung-fu."
Posts: 3826 | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
In my freshmen Texts and Traditions I class (lets us teach History and Literature together) everybody gets the lecture about choosing paper topics carefully. They had some girl years back whose thesis was that "Plato was not a good Christian" and the professors still groan thinking about it. I swear they'll be using that example for the rest of the college's history.
Posts: 1733 | Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Hey Shanna, I think I had that same essay! Except the theses was that Plato would not have believed anything as silly as Christianity, because he was "like, logical or something."
I would say that grading papers is one of my favorite places to find these little gems of wisdom.
Here are two of my favorites, “If one of the ten commandments is thou shall not kill why did the Aztecs believe God would be happy w/ their sacrifices?” “Why did Mary Tudor take the name Elizabeth I when she came to the throne?”
My all time favorite studentism I have taped up on my desk. In that essay the student wrote that the French do not like the United States to this day because the US failed to help the French in their revolution, and that furthermore Marie Antoinette was executed because she didn't know how to play nice, but this was ok, because women had recently gained the right to die.
Posts: 234 | Registered: Oct 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Then, of course, there was the episode of The Man Show were Adam & Jimmy set up a booth with a big sign saying "End Women's Suffrage!" and got hundreds of signatures on their petition. Mostly from women.
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged |
Teacher: Okay, since It's MLK day on monday, your homework will be due on tuesday.
Girl in my class: Wait...When was he president again?
Class: Laughter
Girl: Wasn't he the first black president?
An argument between class and girl ensues. The teahcer makes no effort to settle it, becasue he is too busy laughing.
Posts: 1401 | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I've got some notes on various favorite "student moments" I collected when I was teaching, but my favorite essay title ever comes from a student in an ESL class I taught at one point: A Time when I Less Than Perfect English Got Me Into FunnyPosts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
Juxtapose: "This...organism...uh...could be in your house..." Me: "Llama!" Juxtapose: "No, it's not an animal." Me: "Cockroach!" Juxtapose: "NOT an animal!" Me: "Uh, cockroaches AREN'T animals."
At which point he gave me a look that there can never, and will never be an emoticon for.
Posts: 4313 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I don't actually remember what the first animal I shouted was - llama seemed like a fitting substitute?
Posts: 4313 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
Here's one: Back in my senior year of high school, my band traveled from Hawaii to California for the Holiday Bowl. We marched a parade, and in one of the pauses I heard a guy exclaim, "Wow! It's amazing that they can practice and get this good without electricity!"
Posts: 866 | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
We were debating whether America should go to the metric system or not. There was an older woman in the class who was completely against it; everyone else agreed metric is better. Nothing could dissuade her from her opinion.
After much heated debate, the professor asked her why she was so opposed to the metric system. Her response:
"When I buy a a liter pop I want to know it's a litter of pop!!"
Posts: 2445 | Registered: Oct 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
dkw, how did you respond to that? I'd be speechless. And then I might have tried to explain to him, as if he was a 2 year old, why ham is pork, regardless of what their selection is.
Posts: 2054 | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
