posted
I appreiate all your posts. I've been at a wrestling tournament all night and have not had a chance to read them until just now. The thing I keep coming back to is, I have full custody. She didn't even argue because she knew she was not in any position to do what was best for the kids. She at least knows her own faults. I guess I'm just frustrated. There are a lot of posts I want to respond to but it's late and I'm tired. Tomorrow I'll have to look at all of this again more closely. You all make a lot of good points.
Posts: 1294 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
I'm 14 years old, and I personally do not think it is appropriate to have a boyfriend or girlfriend around. when my dad had his girlfriend (who he had an affair with, which caused my parents divorce), i resented having her there. i'm with him every other weekend and 2 nights each week, and my dad used to have his girlfriend around for a few hours every weekend. the only reason she doesn't come anymore is because I felt very strongly about it. we had some very intense arguments about this, and it got to the point where i basically had to tell him that i didn't want to be with him if his girlfriend was there.
It is so selfish that beatnix's ex-wife is having her partner around when she's with her children. she obviously couldn't care less whether or not they mind, and their age makes it extra inappropriate to have him around.since they're only 5 and 6, there is very little they can do about it.
it is possible that beatnix's ex is not paying much attention to her daughters when her boyfriend is there, since that's what partners so often do. My dad is completely obsessed with his girlfriend, and when she came over, he would always be talking to her in an annoying voice (it's possible beatnix's ex may do that. my dad does not act normally when he's around his girlfriend, and i don't know if that's something that happens often).
Posts: 10 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
I'm sorry Kyvin. It sounds like you are in a very awkward position, and are having to deal with some horrid stuff.
My parents divorced a year ago and my Dad is now living with his new partner (who he had an affair with while my parents were still married). I am an adult and don't have the custody issues, but my siblings do - and I know how horribly confusing and upsetting it can be.
Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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quote: I would agree that you have the right to be upset over the breaking of the agreement, but trying to enforce it may do more harm than good.
How did you find out that your ex was introducing her boyfriend to your kids? If it was because the kids expressed concern to you, then it is probably worth the battle.
OTOH, her situation with regards to dating is slightly different than yours. Since she has been dating this guy for a while, she may be committed to him and eager to encorporating the kids into the mix. If she is a better person while in the company of her BF, than she is alone with the kids, she may be doing the kids a favor.
I guess my point is that the agreement isn't as important as the kids best interests. You have to decide if the introduction of this new person will be more detrimental to the kids than fighting the battle with your ex and causing your co-parenting skills to diminish.
Agree with LadyDove. You could tell her flat out that she can't have the kids because she broke the agreement but that would just turn the situation into an antagonistic one. It'll just end up hurting the kids more.
What I would do instead is to find excuses for her not to have the kids except for when its stipulated in the court ruling.
In the end, you can't control what she does when she has the kids. All you can do is do your best as a parent when the kids are with you.
Posts: 176 | Registered: Aug 1999
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