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I will say that as a Jew that got sent to a Catholic high school, they are definitely not a bad bunch.
Posts: 3134 | Registered: Mar 2005
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I think that Theaca is probably closer to correct. She never really mentions her religion. I think we may not have discussed it because she knows i don't believe the same things, and she didn't want to get upset when i disagreed with her. Her ideas concering a Catholic marriage and family are very closely linked with her cultural heritage (she is Philipino). She feels like Catholicism is part of who she is and where she comes from. No doubt she believes it whole heartedly, but i get the feeling it is more cultural than that.
After my original post, we had a long conversation, at first very heated, but eventually, much more of a learning process. We both agreed that it is up to the child to decide who they want to be when they are old enough to decide. She agreed that teaching the child all of the options was a moral necessity, but still bringing them up in the faith is important to her. The problems we came to (and that we still have not resolved) are more concerned with answering the children's questions, ie: After a loved one passes away she says that they went to heaven, so the child will be able to cope better. The child then asks me, "is so-and-so in heaven daddy?" and i answer.... what? tell the truth (as far as i see it) that no, they are not in heaven, there is no heaven. they'r energy is all around us and creating new life every day. then the child is very confused, not able to adapt both views into their limited view of the world. or do i lie and say yes, because that is easier and then have to reveal the truth of what i believe when i feel they are old enough to understand it? i don't know.
we did discuss it, and we are both more comfortable with the situation now, but i still feel like it is far from resolved, and will come up again.
Posts: 2596 | Registered: Jan 2006
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I'm glad you guys are working some of this out. My boss sounds like you 10 years down the line. Atheist, married to a Catholic Philipino woman. They now have 2 lovely daughters and are very happy together. She doesn't force him to go to church, and he doesn't force his views on his daughters.
I do hope that if you don't want to lie to your kids about heaven that you won't lie to them about Santa either. For an Atheist, it should be the same thing.
Posts: 3134 | Registered: Mar 2005
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I don't lie to mine about Santa. Whenever they ask me directly about Santa ("Does Santa really live at the north pole?" "Do reindeers really fly?" "How does Santa get in if we don't have a chimney?" "How does Santa get to all the houses in one night?"), I ask them, "What do you think?" They've come up with some interesting ideas. I've always said, "That's such a fun story." I've never been able to bring myself to come out and say (*SPOILER WARNING, PARENTS*), "There is no Santa," but they've sort of figured out that it's just a nice story.
You could do the same thing with religion - I wouldn't recommend lying, if they specifically ask what you believe; you could say, "Some people believe they're in heaven, and some people believe their energy is all around us and creating new life every day. What do you think?"
Or you could just go the easy route - "Ask your mother." Posts: 1522 | Registered: Nov 2005
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i like that... i have a feeling that will be the answer to a lot of questions, "ask you mother." and no, i wouldn't tell them that Santa is some creepy guy thats gonna break in the house. geez, that story freaks me out and i'm 23. hehe. i would use the flat truth on that one: "St. Nicholas was a really rich guy whose parents died leaving him all their money. He used the money to buy lots of kids lots of presents and then was killed for being christian (and that will happen to YOU TOO! haha, just kidding). now we honor his memory by giving gifts. we do it at this time of the year because a long time ago the leaders of the Catholic Church couldn't stop the people that lived around them from celebrating the Winter Soltace so they pretended that Jesus was born on that day to change what the party was about." haha, i wonder how the wifey would like that one.
Posts: 2596 | Registered: Jan 2006
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