posted
This year is my son's first year of high school, and it has been just awful. He chose a very small private religious school, and was off to an enthusiastic start, despite the fact that none of his friends from his old school were going there.
Then things started getting shaky. He kept wanting to come home sick from school, or to stay home sick. His behavior became problematic, he grew depressed and anxious, and just gave up on doing well in school. Grades that were fine last year became failures in the new school. A rich social life became a friendless experience in the new school. The kid hated school.
And when he was at home or on weekends, he was fine. A sweet kid, getting together with his old pals, helpful to his parents. So we were puzzled.
It turns out that the kid has been mercilessly bullied and victimized at school, which made him lose self-esteem, get very depressed, anxious, and develop inappropriate, self-demeaning, self-injuring behavior.
We decided last night to pull him out of school and have him make up the ninth grade at home for the rest of the school year and over the summer. His goal is to rejoin his friends at a different school in the fall, entering in the 10th grade.
I know nothing about home schooling, but I am betting that some of you do. Do I arrange for tutors to come to the house? Are there online options for distance learning for high school? I'm sure that our rabbi can direct us to someone who can continue his religious studies, but I need some guidance on the secular studies.
My husband and I are pretty well educated. Hubby has a PhD in Mathematics, and I have Baccalaureate degrees in English, Psychology, and Nursing. But is it a good idea for US to be teaching him all of ninth grade? And how does it work when he transfers to another school in the fall? Do home schooled kids get grades and transcripts?
Any practical advice is appreciated.
And also appreciated, more than you can know, are those of you who reached out to my troubled kid and gave him support and encouragement. You know who you are, and I love you for it.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote:Are there online options for distance learning for high school?
My American friend did Year 11 Earth Science and English Literature with http://www.apexlearning.com/ . So yeah, there are online options, but I guess you should check the competition first.
They're in Seattle, where she lives, so if you live in another state they may not be for you.
Posts: 1138 | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Her dad has some degree in maths, and her mum has degrees in English and Nursing, not sure about anything else. So they were to some extent in the same position as your family. But they didn't hire any tutor, so I assume you wouldn't have to.
Posts: 1138 | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
You should look up the laws in your state; different states have different requirements as to record keeping and cirriculum. There are many online cirricula as well as traditional distance-learning cirricula available. You can also find out what is usually taught in 9th grade, get the textbooks (you can often borrow them from libraries), and work from there. He's a bright kid, I think whatever you decide, he'll be able to make it work. And having a dad with a degree in math and a mom with one in English and a background in science to help you out if something is tough isn't bad, either.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
I just emailed your post to a friend of mine who is an extremely conscientious homeschooler. I'll let you know if she gets back to me with anything.
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Tante, I'll ditto what KQ says and also advise you to ask around for a local support group. Your friendly librarian is a good one to ask! I know our own support groups are good about loaning out stuff and finding resources for new homeschoolers. ALso, check with the school he was in, they may be willing to let you use their books for the rest of the year.
My son is also in 9th grade and has been homeschooled since 2nd grade. If Son of Shvester would like a homeschool email penpal, let me know! He read your post and is glad you pulled him out. And you feel free to email me if you have questions!
I hope everything works out well for you all!
Posts: 239 | Registered: May 2004
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In Florida, they have some new program called the Virtual School or something, where you do most of your work at home or online and two times every other week. My best friend did it, and she liked it a lot.
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Wow, thanks for that link, pH! I do live in Florida and have been wondering what we'll do at middle school time. Good to know all the options.
And Shvester, from my cursory glance it looks like kids from other states can also enroll there, and can start at any time. Although there are also other online schools that offer curriculum that you do at home - so technically you're enrolled in a "school" and you don't have to worry about adhering to home school requirements from your state. I have a couple friends who do Calvert school, although that only goes through grade 8.
posted
Mwhaha! For once I can be the voice of experience.
I've been homeschooled my entire life, up until 10th grade, when I started dual-enrolling at a local community college. If you're looking into strictly homeschooling your kid, without enrolling in any sort of school, you definately need to check into your own state's requirements. If I remember correctly, my mom had to either register with the county, or register with a school. There are homeschooling groups which operate under a schools name but allow you to do pretty much whatever you want, within reason. Sometimes without reason.
As for the online school, I would recommend it. I was a part of FLVS (Florida Virtual School) for 2 years, and I really enjoyed it. There is the possibility of getting a sucky teacher who won't communicate, but that's a slim possibility and you run that risk anywhere. The whole set up of it is really great, and I would definately recommend looking into it. And while I'm not entirely sure how it all works out, I do know that it's a very easy matter to obtain transcripts from them (as I did it about a week ago).
If you decide to not go the Virtual School route and are looking for curriculum, let me know. My mom has homeschooled 5 kids and is something of an expert at it, and my friend's mom actually runs a business selling curriculum.
All in all, if you're serious about it, you run the risk not of him falling behind, but of him being bored in 10th grade because he's already learned the stuff.
Disclaimer: As a successful product of the homeschooling environment, I am heavily for it in most cases. I'll refrain from going on a rant, but in my humble opinion, homeschooling requires effort from the parents, and if you aren't willing or able to give that effort, make sure you have someone who can, whether it be a tutor, an online teacher, or an overseer from one of those pseudo-schools I mentioned.
Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
I was not homeschooled, but I would reccomend having him take a class (or two) this summer at a local community college, talk to an advisor to see if he qualifies for anything.
Posts: 5362 | Registered: Apr 2004
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What level is he at academically right now? Particularly math is important cause it is harder to catch up with once you get behind.
How much math do you (and he) want to have accomplished by the end of high school? You need to map that out now.
Are you planning on putting him in school next fall?
Do you have his textbooks from the private school? Have you looked through them yourself?
At his age, I would work together with him, to decide, what are the absolute necessities to get through. There are generally literature lists for 9th graders. Make sure he reads a few of those books, if you want him to write, there are plenty of things to write on. While you should still read the original book cliff notes are excellent study aids and good for getting composition ideas from.
So, Math and composition should be your first priorities, with science and history close behind. Make sure he at least reads the full science and history texts. However in composition, science and history, encourage his creativity. Yeah he needs to get breadth but allow him to choose his own depth and spend more time on a particular interesting topic if he wants.
The library is your friend. But you do need to write down, on paper, your own minimum goals that you want to see accomplished by the end of the year. Once you know those goals, then budgeting how to get there is easier. Divide it into weekly allotments and then to days, in an assignment planner. But allow for flexibility. Even though you have this big grand goal out there and you have things subdivided, realize that after you've done it for a month you'll need to stop and resassess. Maybe you'll go faster in some areas, and slower than others.
Make the assignments clear to both him and you, cause this is going to be a collaborative effort between you and him. At his age it has to be collaborative, because he's too big to spank.
My mother on top of homeschooling all 3 of her children was a homeschool consultant for years. If you'd like I can send you her phone number privately. Even though she's no longer actively homeschooling she's always happy to talk about homeschooling particularly in cases like yours, where the kid is a willing participant. (Unwilling kids that are already "discipline problems" are a whole different ball of wax)
The home school legal defense association. www.hslda.org is an excellent legal resource for what the compulsory attendance requirements are in your state. You have to ignore the conservative christian wingnut propaganda, to get to the facts. But, they are the best resource for the legal situation. And even though they are conservative christians, they are libertarian enough that they will represent any homeschooler regardless of religion, if you join their organization. It's up to you. They have kind of "ratings" on states as far as legality goes, and you can see how many cases or instances of problems have occured in your state. I'd use that as a guauge of whether it's worth paying them or not.
posted
I'm not Tante obviously, but I would be pretty willing to bet it's because his current semester grades would transfer, and since he's not doing very well that he might not be able to fix it.
Posts: 5362 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
I was homeschooled through highschool, and I did go back and forth between traditional schools and homeschooling so I know a bit on the subject. I'd say 1st check out state requirements. I think that the education you and your husband have will be sufficient but to repeat what Dr. Strangelove said, you really have to be willing to put in the time and dedication it requires. My mom made my transcripts on my computer for everything I took, the colleges I applied to didn't seem to have any qualms about them. Most of the highschools/colleges are fairly understanding about homeschooling, but that isn't to say there aren't prejudices. Mainly when I bounced back into a traditional school they just wanted to know what I took and what grades I got, nothing big. There's so much leeway you get with homeschooling, it really cuts all of the bureaucracy.
Anyhow, I wish you the best of luck, and let your son know that I'm pulling for him.
Posts: 83 | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by dkw: Is there some reason he can't transfer into the other school with his friends now?
At 2/3 through the school year, he is nervous about coming in new, with everyone on the same page in the book, and he's not gotten his bearings. And his father and I think that some time off with extra nurturing and assistance in catching up will be beneficial. The kid has been traumatized, and we want to give him time to heal, so that when he re-enters school, it will be from a stance of strength and security.
I told his old school that I would rather have his transcript full of "incomplete" or "withdrawal" than failures. Because, after all, he DID withdraw from school before completing the term. They are getting back to me on that.
Has anyone had experience with Laurel Springs School? I was talking to a friend who recommended it as an accredited High School in California that does online distance learning.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
I've never been home schooled but I have had a tutor for math. It was a rewarding experiance i got to play wicked games of Go Fish.
Try to mucsle in some language education as well since its home it should be more flexible then school.
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Tante, I have no experience to share, but I wanted to offer my prayers and support. I'm sorry your son had to go through this, but it's wonderful to hear how supportive you are.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
I don't have any home school experience, but I went through something similar to your son, when I was a freshman in High school.
In 1978 I went to live with my biological father in Oregon, and had to get used to a new school, with no friends. Kids seemed to think that being from New York was grounds for abuse. Among other things they made me push a penny 10 feet along the pavement with my nose.
I came back to NY on March 18, 1979. How vividly one remembers such dates. I got back with my friends, and in school I discovered that I had effectively skipped a year of math, and the other curricula I was in didn't match very well. I had to take two math courses: one that was similar to the one I was taking in Oregon, plus the one I had missed. Basically I had to take a whole math course between March and June, and enter courses in the middle that were kind of similar to the course I'd been taking.
I did alright. It wasn't the optimum situation, but I was very happy to be back in school with my friends, and I did quite well in both math courses, which wound up putting me a year ahead of where I would have been otherwise.
I have nothing against home schooling, but if you're not really ready to tackle it I'd talk to the old school (is it a public school?) and see how well they can accomodate the transfer. If I remember correctly, my grades from Oregon didn't follow me, I just had to get good grades for the duration, and pass the exams. See what they say.
Posts: 3735 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
Laurel Springs is decent. I actually grew up near Ojai, CA and knew several kids who were affilliated with them.
*Grin*, my general experience with them was positive, as has been my mother's. Now that I think about it the one girl that I knew somewhat, who went to the community college at 14 (my old chem prof introduced me to her, I was 17, and my prof was so excited) Now that I think about it I believe the other girl was Jewish also, I met her father on a Friday and he was wearing an Jewish hat, though they couldn't have been too orthodox, cause she didn't wear skirts constantly or anything.
Posts: 11265 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
Hey Tante! I've decided to homeschool my little girl starting next school year. She'll be in 3rd grade. Good luck - all the advice I would have given is already here in this thread.
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I can't really advise HS level, as my oldest is third grade, but your son is lucky you take him so seriously and are looking for solutiond for him.
Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
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My niece, 15 and in grade 10, is being homeschooled as her family is in the Maldives for six months out of the year, and the rest of the time in Canada. My sister and her husband don't do a whole lot in terms of tutoring with Lou's courses - it's all done with textbooks and online instructors. They're doing it through The School of Hope in Alberta.
Lou doesn't require tutors - she's bright enough to figure it out on her own - but one problem she's had has been in disciplining herself to actually get the work done. My sister and her have personality clashes, so it doesn't work too well to have my sister check up on her. I've suggested a system of rewards - DVDs (which are cheap here) or books or stickers on a calendar or whatever Lou will work for to help her actually get her to do the schoolwork. I would suggest that this is possibly one area that will require extra attention - making sure Son of Shvester stays on track in terms of getting the allotted amount of schoolwork done.
I'm relieved for Son of Shvester that you've come to a solution that looks like it'll help him. Bullying is horrible.
posted
Ay, the motivation factor is huge in home education. Being homeschooled my entire life, I've grown into being self-motivated naturally, and am grateful for it now that I'm in college, but someone coming from a school where it's explicitely layed out what's expected to a more ambiguous system of schooling may have some problems. Some people are able to motivate themselves no problem, but if not, a reward system sounds like a good idea.
Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Tante, I know several families who use k12, which is an online public school so they ship you all the materials at no charge including a computer with internet access. www.k12.com
Most of their experience with this has been in the lower grades, but they rave about it. I do know one friend who does it for her son who is in 9th grade, who opted out of public school for various reasons only a year or two ago. He seems to really enjoy it.
I'd be more than happy to give you my friend's email address if you want to talk to her about her experience.
I was in all three school systems at various times: homeschool, private school and public school. I'd have to say that without a doubt, the private school was the worst.
Not that all private schools are bad, but the kids there formed really tight cliques and as a homeschooled newbie who'd never set foot in a classroom, I started going to that school halfway through 6th grade. I was never physically bullied (thank God!) but the emotional and mental abuse from my peers was fairly severe. The teachers turned a blind eye. I came home crying every day through that year and the next.
For example, everyone had decided that I was contagiously nerdy, so when I walked down the hall, everyone would stop talking to stare at me, and they'd all part like the Red Sea to let me pass down the middle without anyone having to touch me. At the end of seventh grade one teacher hosted a goodbye party for me, during which time she required the other students to all get up and say something about me. The first student got up and said he'd hated me, and thought my hair was ugly. She just nodded and smiled and didn't stop him. So you can imagine what types of things were said after that, by students who were exhilirated by the power this teacher gave them over me.
I was an extremely self-motivated student. I would get in trouble at home on a regular basis for completing my schoolwork ahead of schedule. (My parents didn't want me to skip any years.) I was forbidden to do more than three days work at once, so I'd sneak my textbooks under the covers with a flashlight. Every year that I was homeschooled I was happy and got a 4.0 GPA. Those years in the private school I got lots of bad grades. It never occurred to me that it wasn't okay to chat with the teacher about the day's assignment, to always answer questions when asked, to be excited about learning and proud of the knowledge I'd worked hard to earn. But that kind of kid is murdered in a structured school system, as I have first hand experience with.
8th grade I homeschooled again, in a different state, and was back to a 4.0. High school my parents didn't want to deal with trying to make sure my education would be credited with a diploma, so they put me in public school. Late again. That didn't help at all with the adjustment phase, either.
I hated doing 7-8 hours of school which mostly consisted of easy busy work, even in the honors classes. Then I'd have to do 3 or more hours of homework when I got home. Contrast that to homeschooling, where it was a rare day that I didn't start at 9 and finish all my subjects by noon. I rebelled. My grades got worse and worse each year and I graduated with a 2.9 GPA.
Looking back at myself, I know that the correct solution FOR ME, would have been to homeschool all the way through. And I LOVE to teach, so if my daughter is at all pro-active, I'm going to be homeschooling her. On the other hand, I've already got her signed up for a charter school's waiting list. Easy to cancel, impossible to sign up later if I miss it now. I don't want to assume she's got the same temparament I had, and at age 2 I can't tell yet.
I also didn't go to college, but again, that was a solution that seemed right FOR ME. I knew that I had no money, and no scholarships due to my high school rebellion. My parents couldn't help me, they were still paying off my Dad's PhD. I wanted to get married early, have kids and stay home with them. So I didn't plan on using any degree for a long time anyway.
I got married at age 21, began staying home at age 24. I've decided to pursue a career as a writer, and I am HUGELY proactive about learning that. If I'm interested in something, I'll learn every single thing that I can about it. I'll check out every book from the library. I'll read every Internet source I can. I'll join groups and pick the brains of people who are experts in the field. All of this is free. Why do I need college again? - Which is not to say that I'll never go. Maybe when my kids are older I'll chafe and want to exercise my brain. Great. It's never too late to learn, and perhaps I'll have made a little money from writing by then and will be able to afford tuition.
Posts: 180 | Registered: Jun 2005
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I am looking into it myself as well as a LDS based school that offers a homeschool curriculum for high school.
I think you are making a wise decision! Kids should enjoy learning and if the environment isn't encouraging that a different environment is needed.
Posts: 1132 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
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quote:Originally posted by R. Ann Dryden: At the end of seventh grade one teacher hosted a goodbye party for me, during which time she required the other students to all get up and say something about me. The first student got up and said he'd hated me, and thought my hair was ugly. She just nodded and smiled and didn't stop him. So you can imagine what types of things were said after that, by students who were exhilirated by the power this teacher gave them over me.
Oh my goodness, Ann, what on earth was that teacher thinking?? How abusive can you get -- I can't imagine any adult allowing a group of kids to gang up on one victim like that! Did that teacher have it in for you for some reason, or was she just too ineffective to prevent what she intended as something positive from turning into a massacre? (BTW, I enjoyed your story on IGMS!)
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Well, her daughter was in the class, and she was one of the biggest bullies, so perhaps that says something. Also, that first boy who got up to speak was named Felix and he was a recent Russian immigrant. This teacher had required me, as part of my grade, to tutor him in English after school. No one else had to do extra work, but she told me she knew I was smart enough to handle it. So every day for a few months he'd come to my house and sit there, glaring at me, with his arms crossed and refusing to say the flash cards. Fun. So I wasn't shocked to find he hated me, but I guess the teacher let him say it because it meant he'd learned some English. I don't know. This teacher also believed that leap years were caused by the erratic orbit of the moon.
Thanks for saying you liked my story. There's only been one review of it, at Tangent Online, and the guy hated it. Oh well. I trust OSC's opinion over some stranger reviewer, but at the same time it's still nice to hear a compliment.
Scott has been sitting on another one of my stories for many moons now. I had hoped to hear if he wanted to buy it for the second issue, but apparently not. However, he hasn't rejected it either, so maybe it will appear in a future issue. I can't really send him more stories until he lets me know about that one, either. So, we'll see. I have a bunch of other stories that are finally ready to go, and I'm going to begin submitting them this month.
I'm also working hard on my first novel. It's called Outleaf and is the story of a boy who's torn between following in his father's footsteps or blazing his own trail. Set on an alien planet involving huge sentient trees that people live on. Scott has been very encouraging to me about my writing in general, and wrote to me the other day about it, so he's been very helpful. He hasn't seen the novel yet but he will before I submit it to publishers. I estimate 2 months to type the manuscript, now that I've FINALLY got a detailed outline I'm happy with. I'm starting it this week. I told the basic storyline to a few strangers at a recent convention, and one lady cried. Another man emailed me over a week later to say he can't get the story out of his head and he plans to buy a copy the minute it gets published. It's nice to know the story has that kind of power, and I'm very excited about it.
Posts: 180 | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Thanks, guys! I'm looking into all of your suggestions, but this:
quote: k12, which is an online public school so they ship you all the materials at no charge including a computer with internet access.
sounds appealing for obvious financial reasons. We would still need to hire a local rabbi to tutor my son in his religious studies, so that he is able to rejoin the 10th grade at an appropriate level of learning. Oh, and probably a tutor for Hebrew language, which he will be expected to know on a 10th grade level.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Ann, I'm also horrified by that teacher. Not surprised, unfortunately. I've had similar experiences, as have a lot of other people I know.
I want to say that at least you're bright enough to realize that that woman is severely wacked in the head and you're a terrific person who is incredibly smart and talented, but sometimes the heart doesn't quite hang on to those truths when bad experiences overshadow them. I hope yours does.
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
TS--Here in California, I was able to homeschool my kids through a special organization: Gorman Learning Center. As it is a "charter" school with a special mandate from the state, I was able to receive $1100 per student for each academic year that went towards textbooks, etc. The money was also used for field trips and special events. I was able to construct academic plans to meet California's requirements for high school students quite easily. All of my children passed the state's high school exit exam in their sophomore year (the first year they were eligible to take it--now there is talk of opening it up to junior high school students also!). I was also able to augment their standard high school courses with classes such as Music Appreciation, Intro to Psycology, Intro to Philosophy, and Basic Auto Mechanics, as well as a few others. These help for all arouind "awareness," even though the first three are college-level courses. My youngest has just followed her older sister and been accepted into the Honors Program at her first-choice university where she has received two academic scholarships that will cover about 85% of her out-of-state tuition. Homeschooling most definitely works!!
The local community colleges here in California also allow a few "internet" classes that can be done totally online after the registration is completed and the textbooks acquired. Maybe Florida has such programs also.
In any event, please make your son aware that we are all here for him and for the two of you adults as well. I wish I had had a Ph. D. in math at home to help me with my Pre-Calculas Math class back in high school.
Good luck to you all and keep us informed, OK?
Posts: 101 | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
I'm reviving this thread because it's on my mind lately. My bright but unmotivated 13-year-old daughter is failing a couple of classes. I work evenings and can't hound her to get her homework done during those hours. Her dad just ignores her or yells at her to get her homework done (which is impossible if she "forgot" to bring it home or "forgot" what it was in the first place).
I'm optimistically hoping that one-on-one time with her during the day before I go to work will help. However, I'm unsure of my abilities for teaching and especially for being organized. And, for making her actually get anything done.
If I do this, I wouldn't pull her out of classes in the middle of the quarter. The quarter ends Oct. 26. Parent-teacher conferences are the week of Oct. 30-Nov. 3.
Besides her year-long classes in science, literature, math and social studies, she has quarter-long classes coming up in PE and reading (that one is easy).
She's willing to do this, and my other daughter understands why I'm not thinking of doing this for her (she's in TAG - Talented and Gifted program, is taking violin at school, she does her homework and is pretty self-sufficient about school).
So, what do the experienced homeschoolers (both as parents and students) think? What things do I need to be aware of (besides state laws) in approaching this? Any advice?
Oh, yeah ... we have a Sylvan Learning Center in town. I haven't approached them because I'm afraid they are pretty pricey. (The offer of a free evaluation - valued at $50 - is a tipoff.) But it's also a possibility instead of homeschooling.
posted
Just wanna throw in that if your child who's been doing well in school suddenly starts doing badly around thirteen or fourteen, you might want to take him/her to a therapist just to see if there's anything going on in that department. A lot of things can start showing up at that age. Just sayin'.
Oh, and in Florida they also have Pace schools, though I'm not sure how they work, aside from the idea that the student can learn at his/her own speed.
posted
She has always had attention issues - even her kindergarten teacher thought so. They start doing planners in fourth grade - to prepare for fifth, when it's required. The kids are supposed to put their assignments for each class in the planner and the parent is supposed to sign it. She "forgets" to write her assignments down. She also says she doesn't have time at the end of class. That is not entirely an excuse, since they have a short time between classes, and some of her classes are 1-2 floors away from each other. One of her classes is on the fourth floor of the school.
She does have some behavior issues, I guess. She doesn't pay attention to us, sometimes I'm not sure if she's actively ignoring or just not hearing. I guess I should eliminate physical problems as a cause of this by getting her hearing checked. And, I should contact the AEA to see about screening for ADD or learning disabilities.
She's intelligent, but she just seems unmotivated. Now I'm starting to wander off into the realm of parental frustration with things that aren't strictly school-related.
I'm thinking that a call to the AEA (they might screen for hearing, as well - I'll have to check) and an interview with the principal or vice principal of her middle school about the possibility of homeschooling would be a good starting point.
And, yeah, I shouldn't have let it get this far. Part of my issue is that I work evenings. I love my job (most of the time), and I don't want to quit to find another. The nature of the business requires me to work mostly evenings, although I do try to have some evenings off. My husband isn't much help in the academics department for many reasons. He never finished high school, he's got a learning disability (in my opinion, at least - if you saw his writing, you would believe), and he doesn't pay attention to what the kids are doing.
There are times I think I should find a day job, but it's scary - I am most qualified for secretarial work or restaurant work by my experience But, I hate doing both. I've got too much of a bad attitude about some of the stuff I used to have to do. (Example: as a secretary, some of the people I worked for would walk all the way over to my desk - in the opposite direction from the copier and twice as far - so I could copy one piece of paper for them. Then I had to walk past their desks to copy the piece of paper and drop it back on their desks. To me, it seemed like a big waste of time and effort. If they wanted a quick copy, they should do it themselves and have it done instead of waiting for me to have the time to copy it. Obviously, I didn't jump up and copy every single item as it came in - I would do several jobs at the same time. See - bad attitude.)
So, anyway, bad parenting aside, I'm interested in the whole homeschooling thing, and have signed up with a Yahoo group in Iowa to see what others in my area are doing.
Posts: 2034 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
You should definitely get her screened for hearing issues or ADD issues. In girls, ADD often manifests as inattention or daydreaming rather than hyperactivity or destructive behavior.
I had a more detailed post, but changed my mind about getting into the details. The short answer: depression is possible, but I don't think it's a severe risk. It does run in the family.
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CaySedai -- if you have a child who is bright but has attention problems, realize that you will have the same trouble with them in your attempts to homeschool as the school does with them there.
In other words, as I home-schooled my ADD son, I did have constant problems keeping him focused on any task or assignment. The only plus side to this is that instead of it disrupting a whole class, etc., you are able to deal with it one-on-one all the time. But dont' think THEY are going to change -- you will instead have to find ways they can learn within what works for them: (i.e. - for my son, fractions were taught with hands-on lessons in cooking in the kitchen; math with dominoe games, etc. lots and lots of tactile stuff to make the learning apply to life instead of just problems on paper).
And for me, there was the general discouragement of never having him truly live up to his intelligence potential (in my mind). I paid for extensive testing (outside of the school) and confirmed he had a very high IQ, but was performing very well below that. He is unmotivated -- in that he doesn't see a reason to live up to his potential. He doesn't even want people to know he is smart. He is quite happy being consider average or below. I don't know wa way to fight that at all -- I finally just had to accept that I can't CREATE internal motivation. Something, someday, will have to click inside him to make that happen.
I was pleased when he finally just went and took his GED (and scored very high) because, in his mind, it was a huge relief just to have "all the schooling over with". Of course, we really learn every day of our lives, but I don't think he's realized that yet
I just want you to understand that if you homeschool, especially if you try to WORK and also homeschool, there will be times you get very very frustrated. It was always frustrating to me that my son could easily memorize the names and all the characteristics of all 255 Pokemon characters, and spout of statistics about them that boggled the mind, but then wouldn't stay focused long enough to do one page of math.
You know how to reach me if you want to email about it more.
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Farmgirl: I can totally see that Pokemon scenario. I guess I'm just hoping that if I sit down with her and work through things, it would be better than sending her off to school and hoping she doesn't fail too many classes.
In our state, we can dual-enroll our kids. I could have her go to school for the classes she's doing okay in and teach her separately for the classes she needs help in. Of course, it depends on her schedule. If she would be in class one period and out the next, then in again, that won't work. I can't remember what her schedule is right now. I do know that math, for instance, is the same period throughout the year. The quarterly classes are the same period but just rotate - she'll be in PE next quarter.
I've got a lot of research to do if I'm going to make a decision by Oct. 26.
And, an alternative is to let her fail the two classes (I think) she's having a problem with now, then she'll go to summer school. I don't like that alternative. Even if she passes in summer school and goes on to 9th grade, there will always be that reminder to her that she failed.
Posts: 2034 | Registered: Apr 2004
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quote:an alternative is to let her fail the two classes
Yes, I can see you not wanting this to happen. While I don't believe in the philosophy of "never fail a kid", and I can tell you from personal experience that if you have an already unhappy and unmotivated kid, and fail them, it tends to make them less motivated and they quit trying all together.
My son is now 19, has been out of "schooling" for two years. I gently suggested he try taking ONE course a the college that is literally out his back door and just seeing how it goes. Just one small course in a subject he likes. His response: "Why? I would just fail. I always fail at school."
(so all the years of failure are still stuck in his head there somewhere)
quote:Originally posted by CaySedai: Thanks, Stasia.
I had a more detailed post, but changed my mind about getting into the details. The short answer: depression is possible, but I don't think it's a severe risk. It does run in the family.
(edited for spelling)
Definitely take her to see someone about that, just in case. Has she always been unmotivated/had bad grades, or is this a more recent development?
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Sylvan was mentioned. My husband works there and loves it. He has also worked in the public schools. He thinks if every student could get that much attention there would be no education problem. BUT it is expensive (approximately fifty bucks an hour- maybe a few bucks cheaper- though there might be some local variation). There are some students who supplement home schooling with sylvan. It is much easier for a tutor outside the home to keep discipline than for parents to.
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Mar 2006
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Christian schools are terrible! The 'Christians' are almost always stuck-up, and the rest of the kids are the bad-apples that the parents sent to a 'Christian' school so that some of the 'good' will rub off on them.
I've been homeschooled... If you are not interested in a flexible schedule - You're wanting a public school experience, without the kids, at you house, go with Alpha Omega Publications. They are extremely structured, and they also have online tutor stuff, or, they have school software for your computer, where all of the school is done at the computer.
For a more flexible route, you might want to look at school curriculum and requirements (they are unique to each state) at the public schools in your district, and then create your own course. It's perfectly acceptable, although in some states they request that you bring your curriculum foward in a portfolio to be reviewed.
In the state of Ky, where I live, we are registered as a private school, and we just have to send a letter to the state saying the names and grades of all children attending the 'private' school.
But in other states, Michigan I believe, does this, there are much strictor rules.
There are homeschool legal associations you can check out, just to find out exactly what you can or cannot do.
I don't know any offhand, but I'll give more detailed info later.
Visit www.aop.com for information about alpha omega publications. Warning: They are extremely biased towards the conservative viewpoint, and while it does not affect what your child learns, he will have a lot of extra information geared towards the conservative viewpoints. For example, the science will teach a little evolution, but it's 'ridculous' to them, so they teach solely creationism (Which I think is stupid). In the ninth grade, this program teaches physical science, though, so you shouldn't have any problems. It's biology when they get weird about it.
Anyway, I wish you luck, and I'll ask my mom about more specifics.
Posts: 438 | Registered: May 2006
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I called AEA and talked to the person who works with Amanda's middle school. I've got to set up a time to talk to her teachers - they meet at 1:28 p.m. every school day.
Her teachers and I will be given a survey to fill out on Amanda. This information will be compiled into a format that we can take to our family doctor to see if Amanda has ADD.
I should have done this much, much sooner. Posts: 2034 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Oh my goodness, Ann, what on earth was that teacher thinking?? How abusive can you get -- I can't imagine any adult allowing a group of kids to gang up on one victim like that! Did that teacher have it in for you for some reason, or was she just too ineffective to prevent what she intended as something positive from turning into a massacre? (BTW, I enjoyed your story on IGMS!)
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I guess I'm just hoping that if I sit down with her and work through things, it would be better than sending her off to school and hoping she doesn't fail too many classes.![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)
