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Author Topic: Obligations
genius00345
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Is there anyone else here who feels that backing out of an obligation is wrong?

A while back, I posted on Hatrack to get help for a project I'm working on. A certain member (I won't mention names) agreed to help me. We communicated back and forth and I was under the understanding that the project was near completion. Recently, however, as I have been attempting to contact said member- on AIM, email, and Hatrack- I have been ignored. Emails went unreplied to, AIM messages were ignored, and Hatrack posts disappeared from the pages.

However, due date for district competition was way back in February. Due date for state is TODAY. I still have not received the document containing what I politely asked for and was offered.

I'm not angry, I'm just a little upset that I was reneged upon during a time when I could have used the help. I know I've not done things before, too, but I try to let the person know about it ahead of time if at all possible.

So, member, if you're reading this (and I know you're online or just got off)--if you want to send me the stuff TONIGHT, I'll take it and no hard feelings. If I don't get it, still no hard feelings but I'll be disappointed.

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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
Is there anyone else here who feels that backing out of an obligation is wrong?
It doesn't sound like you are describing a situation where anybody had an obligation to help you.
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genius00345
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Yeah, mph, I guess you're partially right.

But when someone TOLD me that they were going to help me on this project, and also told me that it was in progress, and then just IGNORED me without reason? I believe that was just wrong and somewhat rude on their part.

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Anti-Chris
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And posting about this on the forum where it regards one of its members is the best way to go about it?
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El JT de Spang
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If the person won't respond to any other form of communication I don't see why not.
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Baron Samedi
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quote:
I'm not angry, I'm just a little upset...
No comment... [Wink]

I don't know the details of what you were working on, but usually when people come to Hatrack looking for help with a school project, they get accused of trying to get out of an obligation.

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Anti-Chris
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Edit: Myeh, nevermind. [Smile]
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genius00345
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Baron, I thought about that. It's a website project for FBLA competition, and we were told we could have someone translate it for us, as long as we credit them. And we planned on it.

EDIT: Forgot to say that I speak very minimal Spanish, so I couldn't have done it myself.

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quidscribis
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And now you've narrowed down - considerably - who you're talking about.

If you're going to say that you won't identify the person in question, then please, don't identify the person in question.

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genius00345
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Sorry quid.

Yeah, that probably did give it away quite a bit. I'm hoping that the person will step out anyway, so hopefully it won't matter.

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Scott R
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We don't care.

Well, okay, *I* don't care.

Chastising someone in public over a private matter is bad form.

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El JT de Spang
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Unless you're claiming you have a database of every hatracker who speaks spanish, I don't see any problem with specifying why this was different than your standard 'help me with my homework' scenario.

Anybody who's really curious could probably find the thread genius started asking for help on the project, anyway.

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quidscribis
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quote:
Originally posted by Scott R:
Chastising someone in public over a private matter is bad form.

Yup.
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genius00345
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It probably wasn't the best way to do things, but as JT has said, the person is not responding to any other form of communication.

I'm not trying to tell this person I hate their guts, but I've seen them post on Hatrack since the incident, and I was hoping they would respond to this. And, as I've said, I'm not angry. But I think that promising to do something and not doing it is ALSO bad form. (Not that that justifies this thread, I'm simply saying my beliefs.)

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Nitasmile
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Not knowing anyone involved, I will make my post in a general way, no offense to anyone.

I agree it is important to not publicly criticize someone. Yesterday I saw a nurse criticize a caregiver in front of about 5 people for having forgotten to record someone's bowel movement. Good grief! To me, unless something is a matter of life or death or pending emergency, it is better to go to correct that person in private.

Just my first thought is that sometimes I think a lot of us volunteer or sign up to help w/things out of the goodness of the heart. This is good. But sometimes other things compete for our time/attention and we don't always follow up w/good intentions.

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