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Author Topic: Swimsuits and Modesty
Rien
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It lists it as an informal meaning on dictionary.com:

Informal. Properly or modestly dressed


I've heard it on movies "go make yourself decent", but I unfortunatly can't think of a specific movie at the moment.

With the word modest I've only heard it mean simple or plain outside of church.

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pH
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I always think of when there's a movie or something and a guy knocks on a girl's door and asks, "Are you decent?" Meaning...are you dressed?

That's what I think of when I think of "decent." Clothed.

-pH

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ElJay
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Just for the record, the "covers more skin" definition of "modest" is one I was familiar with before joining Hatrack. [Smile] Dunno how I picked it up and dkw didn't.
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dkw
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Maybe you violated it more often?
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beverly
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It is interesting the differences in lexicon. I know that LDS tend to have their own, so I don't always know what will sound strange to someone. I figure in any culture where being "clothed enough" is valued, there will be a term for it. "Covers more skin" is a bit of a mouthful.

For example, when I nurse a baby, I have to get a bit of skin into his mouth that isn't publicly shown in most cultures. Do I feel comfortable breastfeeding in public? And if I do, how much should I cover up? If I am going to cover up some so as to not make others (or myself) uncomfortable, what would you call the motivations behind that? Modesty? Decency? Is there another word?

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pH
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Wish me luck. I'm about to go swimsuit shopping.

I shall return horribly dissatisfied with my body!

-pH

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Tante Shvester
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Celebrate your womanly curviness!
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Omega M.
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quote:
Originally posted by Anna:

I bought a smiwsuit that looks very much like this one. It's in two pieces, but it has a "sport" look I really like.

I think "sporty" swimsuits look good on most women because they suggest strength and confidence, but not this one in my opinion. It's so revealing that it seems to be trying too hard to be sexy, which is a turnoff for me.
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Space Opera
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[Grumble] We are trying to plan our vacation, and I know I will need a bathing suit.

WHY oh WHY after you have a baby can you weigh the same as before you got pregnant but still have a hateful pocket of belly fat?

space opera

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pH
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I still want this. But I'm not sure I can pull it off. Either red/black or black/white.

But I have a Victoria's Secret credit card...it calls to me.

-pH

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Omega M.
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Maybe you lost muscle due to lack of physical activity while pregnant? (If you hadn't you would now weigh more?)

But yeah, my aunt had her third and final child six years ago and she still has a pot belly, though she's slim everywhere else.

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Celaeno
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Ooh, pH, I vote red/black.

I'd buy VS swimsuits, but I have a weirdly sized body, so I need to try things on first.

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Brinestone
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I want to go swimming this summer, but to do so, I would need to find a swimsuit that covers the tiger-stripe stretch marks on my belly, breasts, thighs, and butt (covering breasts and butt isn't hard, but thighs is going to be a doozy).

I'm considering a one-piece with board shorts or something, but I'm worried I'll look funny considering I'm still pretty slim and pretty young.

*sigh*

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Brinestone
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Ooh! Newport News has some very affodable, very pretty modest suits. I am in love with this one and this one and this one in particular.
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ClaudiaTherese
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I love the sporty look of some of the Ohana suits, but that may be more coverage than you're looking for. Very sleek, though. I really like the Kilauea.

Edited to add: oh, and that last one you linked is so gorgeous!

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oolung
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I want to have a swimsuit like the ones from the beginning of the XX century!!!!

SOOO COOOOL! [Big Grin]

(and maybe I'll even get myself one of those special cabins to swim "decently", out of men's sight. No more feeling embarassed about my imperfect body! [Big Grin] )

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erosomniac
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quote:
I want to go swimming this summer, but to do so, I would need to find a swimsuit that covers the tiger-stripe stretch marks on my belly, breasts, thighs, and butt (covering breasts and butt isn't hard, but thighs is going to be a doozy).

I'm considering a one-piece with board shorts or something, but I'm worried I'll look funny considering I'm still pretty slim and pretty young.

Almost every girl I know does the board shorts. They usually do the bikini top, but honestly, I don't think I'd even notice the difference.
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ClaudiaTherese
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quote:
Originally posted by oolung:
I want to have a swimsuit like the ones from the beginning of the XX century!!!!

SOOO COOOOL! [Big Grin]

(and maybe I'll even get myself one of those special cabins to swim "decently", out of men's sight. No more feeling embarassed about my imperfect body! [Big Grin] )

*eyebrow raised

I am afraid I am missing your point, oolung, and I'm sure that I would regret that. What exactly is it you are trying to say?

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oolung
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...
that was just a general... hmmm... well, I'm just in a funny mood right now, so I may well be writing nonsense. [Blushing] I'm afraid my post wasn't as deep as to try and find a deeper meaning in it...

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pH
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quote:
Originally posted by Celaeno:
Ooh, pH, I vote red/black.

I'd buy VS swimsuits, but I have a weirdly sized body, so I need to try things on first.

Do you think the red would be better? I kind of thought so. I thought the black might emphasize how freakishly pale I am.

But at the same time, the black might make it look like I'm freakishly pale on purpose. Which would be good.

I like the hotpants better than the regular bottoms. The regular bottoms always look funny on me unless they're the kind that tie on the sides. And then those sometimes come untied. [Eek!]

-pH

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ClaudiaTherese
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quote:
Originally posted by oolung:
...
that was just a general... hmmm... well, I'm just in a funny mood right now, so I may well be writing nonsense. [Blushing] I'm afraid my post wasn't as deep as to try and find a deeper meaning in it...

*smile

I was wondering if you were pointing out how sometimes we forget that customs needn't be set in stone, or perhaps commenting on the excessive focus on "perfection" as a bodily ideal. I didn't mean to make you blush! (But I was putting on my benign-yet-vaguely-scary priggish-old-missy face, just in case you were making fun of my desire to hide all my, er, glories, as it were. [Wink] )

Those would be good points for discussion, too. I think the issue of scars and the body is a very underrated way to approach issues of self-esteem, identity, and the gaze of the Other -- especially as it relates to women. Couldn't tell if you were going there or not.

Ahem. Excuse me whilst I adjust my bloomers here. You know, a young lad did come up to me in the store the other day and tell me I was absolutely beautiful, and he asked if I was married. My husband thinks it was the braided up hair and lack of makeup, combined with chic-chic clogs and prim, disapproving set to my lips. You know how hot that look is. Poor fella couldn't help himself. [Big Grin]

-----------

Edited to add: pH, I think you would look hot in either, but especially so in the red. Sets off pale skin magnificently, and the color comes with a built-in touch of just a little swagger. Great color for the coming season.

Sincerely,
The Claw

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Tatiana
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pH, I love the red and black. I think it would look awesome on a pale person.

Anna, I love the sporty one you linked to. I bet you look fabulous in it!

I bought a bathing suit by catalog this year, and the great advantage is that I didn't have to go try it on. Luckily it fits, too. [Smile] I'm going to start swimming for my cardio, I think.

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Glenn Arnold
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quote:
I always think of when there's a movie or something and a guy knocks on a girl's door and asks, "Are you decent?" Meaning...are you dressed?
Marsha Mason: "Are you decent?"

Richard Dreyfuss: "Yes."

Marsha Mason (opens door) "(Gasp!) I thought you said you were decent!"

Richard Dreyfuss: "I am a decent person. I also happen to be naked."

(Neil Simon's The Goodbye Girl)

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Glenn Arnold
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Should I start a thread on modest swimsuits for men? Oh for a pair of 1970's style triple knit trunks.
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Will B
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Then again, maybe the snark has a point, with

...its fondness for bathing-machines,
Which it constantly carries about,
And believes that they add to the beauty of scenes---
A sentiment open to doubt.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bathing_machine

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MightyCow
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A friend of mine is a beautician, and she tells me that having hair waxed or plucked damages some of the follicles and causes them to stop growing hair, so if you want less hair, waxing is better than shaving.

Also, from a man's perspective, boy cut suit bottoms are sexy [Wink]

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pH
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I used to wax, but it gives me a horrible rash, even if I put special cream on my skin afterwards. And by the time the rash is gone, it would be time to wax again. So I can't enjoy my waxedness. [Frown]

I also have to be very careful with hair removal creams, which half the time don't remove all the hair and the other half the time also give me a rash...

-pH

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Anna
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What about the little machines that remove your hair, like this one? I use one, it hurts the first time you use it but after a few times you get used to it.
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pH
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I've never tried that! Does it work better/longer than shaving?

I've always been tempted by those little bikini trimmer things that are supposed to keep you from getting all irritated there. That looks really bad with a swimsuit.

-pH

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rivka
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Anna, those are torture devices! [Angst]

By raise of hands, who remembers the Epilady . . . and the percentage that were returned once people discovered what using one FELT like? *raises hands*

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Anna
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It honestly hurts less and less with time. But yes, it hurts a lot the first time. I like it because I don't have to use it that often and it stays nice longer than if you shave.
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Eduardo_Sauron
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After reading the topic, I was curious about the various styles of swimsuit out there (Isabel, my future wife, also has body issues, because of her physical disabilities and medical procedures - I call her 'overconcious', but you know women...hehehe). I found many pages about something called " Brazilian Swimsuit". I was astonished to discover (Yup...I didn't knew) that there is a whole style of swimsuits bearing my country's name. Of course, they're some of the most scant swimsuits out there. Why, o why that must always be the case? "Brazilian woman" - someone shows a semi-naked girl tanning on the beach. "Brazilian vacation - come enjoy yourself in Brazil" - lots of semi-naked girls, usually showing their behinds very closely to the camera... and it goes on, and on.
And our federal government wants to take measures to "discourage sexual-oriented tourism in Brazil". Duh. [Roll Eyes]

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ctm
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Brazilian swimsuits!? Be pretty hard to swim in some of those. They should be called lying-on-the-beach suits. Or lounging-by-the-pool suits. Or attracting-sleazy-guys suits.
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Tante Shvester
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More shocking than the Brazilian swimsuit is the Brazilian wax job that you need to pull it off.
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Shmuel
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quote:
What about the little machines that remove your hair, like this one?
I tried one of those for a bit and ended up returning it to Amazon. It's by far the most painful and least satisfactory hair-removal method I've tried; it's like -- well, it is -- having a machine ruthlessly yank out each individual hair with a pair of tweezers. Except for the ones it misses, so you have to keep applying it. Waxing is both faster and less painful, getting an entire section over with in one swift yank.

But then my body hair is probably coarser and more prolific than what you're dealing with.

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Eduardo_Sauron
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Brazilian...wax-job?
Ok...I searched and I'm freaked...it have its own place at
Wikipedia!

Or, as another page puts it (and I...tend to agree):
"A cult of pain has swept the Western World over the last few years. It's led by women in white coats waving hot spatulas of wax unsettlingly close to those bits your mother might not have told you about."

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pH
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But the Brazillian still leaves a little bit of hair. Apparently, having it ALL gone is becoming increasingly popular.

Just having my EYEBROWS waxed makes me bruise and get a rash. I'd hate to see what it would look like if I had THAT done.

-pH

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Anna
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Oh, yuck! I would never go that far, if only for modesty, and it sure has to hurt a lot! I only remove the hair so that there's none out of my underwear and sometimes I trim the others.
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Anna
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quote:
It's so revealing that it seems to be trying too hard to be sexy
Not by French standarts. If I wear it on a beach I can be sure there are a lot of other women wearing far most revealing swimsuits.
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pH
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I used to know a girl who would pluck it out with tweezers. All of it. [Eek!]

-pH

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Kristen
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Brinestone:

quote:
I'm considering a one-piece with board shorts or something, but I'm worried I'll look funny considering I'm still pretty slim and pretty young.
How about a sarong? There are many pretty ones and they have the advantage of covering as much of your thighs as you want. A lot of them are water-proof as well.

PH: You wax yourself? [Eek!]

I didn't know being pale was considered good. That is nice to know. My legs are so pale that you can see blue veins in ordinary light so I have been avoiding skirts so far.

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pH
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I TRIED to wax myself a few times. Not "there," but on my legs and stuff. And either it doesn't get all the hair, or I get a rash. [Frown]

I think if you're going to be pale, you just have to be confident about it. I wear ridiculously short skirts all the time, and I'm very, very pale. Of course, my hair is also dyed red. At any rate. Maybe it depends on the shades of your skin. According to my makeup counter people, I'm more of a yellow/orange kind of color. Either way, I'm pale, and I get bitchy when people tell me I should get a tan, if for no other reason than that I don't want to get skin cancer or age prematurely.

-pH

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Space Opera
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quote:
Originally posted by Omega M.:


But yeah, my aunt had her third and final child six years ago and she still has a pot belly, though she's slim everywhere else.

*screams* Did you understand you were saying this to someone who is 6 months post-partum with her third child?

[Razz]

space opera

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Omega M.
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quote:
Originally posted by Brinestone:

Ooh! Newport News has some very affodable, very pretty modest suits. I am in love with this one and this one and this one in particular.

They all look nice but I like the first one best. The beaded flower suggests a bit of outrageousness since you don't see many suits with beads, but it blends in with the main color enough not to draw attention to itself.

The second one looks rather ordinary to me, and the third one looks too much like a real dress look sensible swimming in.

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ctm
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quote:
Originally posted by Space Opera:
quote:
Originally posted by Omega M.:


But yeah, my aunt had her third and final child six years ago and she still has a pot belly, though she's slim everywhere else.

*screams* Did you understand you were saying this to someone who is 6 months post-partum with her third child?

[Razz]

space opera

I was mentioning to a friend that Newport News lets you shop for swimsuits by your body type and she wondered if one of the types was "gave birth to three children".
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kmbboots
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After reading this thread, I shopped for suit online. Then I spent the $80 on yarn instead.
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pH
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I just purchased the Victoria's Secret suit in cranberry and black. [Smile] It will be here on Monday!

Although the customer service guy on the phone was....a guy. So it was kind of weird to order from him.

-pH

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Tante Shvester
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quote:
Originally posted by pH:
I just purchased the Victoria's Secret suit in cranberry and black. [Smile] It will be here on Monday!

Although the customer service guy on the phone was....a guy. So it was kind of weird to order from him.

-pH

Yeah. A man who does the customer service for Victoria's Secret has women calling him all day and night describing their underwear. I can understand how this kind of job would have appeal, but I might find it creepy to describe my underwear to a stranger on the phone.
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oolung
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ClaudiaTheresa, well, at least I can be proud of being able to trigger such deep thoughts, if not thinking them myself [Wink] But seriously, I think you've got a point there. And I often resent the way media made everybody know how a 'perfect body' should look, while we all know perfectly well that 'perfection' is a thing that's hard to find, so almost everyone has SOME misgivings as to the way they look and YET we follow the fashion and wear skimpy costumes even though we don't feel completely comfortable in them. (but then, what choice do we have?) And we treat stretch marks or additional fat as if it was some monstruosity, while it's a perfectly normal thing and it's rather unusual when you DON'T have anything of the kind...

Now you've got me all wound up... [Smile]

(And the thing that made me blush was your raised eyebrow: very scary, even when you just read about it [Smile] I prefer when you write about smiling)

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Tatiana
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After thinking about things and reading and discussing the question, I've just about decided that the societal concept of "modesty" (which almost always seems to apply to females only) is largely oppressive.

It's totally contingent on time and place for context, and the best thing of all is if your particular time and place has extremely free standards of modesty, so that you can personally dress in a way that's comfortable, cool, and allows free movement, but is still considered modest in your culture.

All of us who feel we should dress modestly, are nevertheless grateful for the fact that in our culture today, we can show our ankles and wrists and faces and still be thought modest. We pity the women of yesteryear, and of other societies, who must cover up so much that normal jobs become impossible, playground activities for girls are severely curtailed, and basically it's not easy to carry on an ordinary human life.

So, on serious consideration, I've decided all such standards are a bunch of hooey (to quote a dear friend from another thread [Wink] ). Wear what you feel comfortable wearing, and don't worry about it. If that's nothing but your skin, then you might get arrested (like that carpenter guy), but you won't get any flak from me about it. [Smile]

[ May 04, 2006, 10:14 PM: Message edited by: Tatiana ]

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