fark.com -- Viewers prefer reruns of old sitcoms rather than new shows such as "Charlie Sheen Cracks a Smirk" and "Everybody Loves a Fat Guy With a Hot Wife"
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote:Find a new Messianic redeemer, Gus Fkhead Feigert, because I'm not taking your shit anymore. Ask the Holy Ghost for help next time, or maybe try intercessionary prayer to My mom. Maybe she'll listen to you. But not Me.
Yeah, I know I'm supposed to forgive everybody, and all can find refuge in Me blah blah blah. Fine. Fair enough. But not that prick. No f'ing way.
quote:"We couldn't believe what was happening," said Sam Weber, owner of Playmakers, a Raleigh sports bar. "I still don't understand it. We had a decent crowd here to watch the 1982 North Carolina vs. Georgetown NCAA Championship game on ESPN Classic when out of nowhere a lamppost comes crashing through the front window. Then these huge pasty white guys, all wearing, like, matching sweaters, run in screaming like madmen and holding this giant planter over their heads, which they demanded I fill with beer. They invited all my customers to join them, but we were too shocked, terrified and disoriented to even move, so the gang got angry and stole four of my big-screen televisions."
"They weren't from around here, I'll tell you that much," Weber added. "When the police arrived, no one could remember having seen a single one of them before."
quote:Sherwood suffered a mild concussion as well as facial lacerations after being forced to drink warm champagne out of "some type of weird birdbath."
Maybe only hockey fans will find this one funny.
Posts: 5422 | Registered: Dec 2001
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quote: 'book junkies' who rummage through street bargain bins for a fix,"
quote:"Our study subjects were in no apparent danger of a literary overdose,"
quote:"We're kidding ourselves if we don't believe heavy book use is a major problem," Walters said. "We've all heard horror stories of young people not being able to put down Gravity's Rainbow. Thanks to book kingpins like Barnes & Noble, more and more Americans—even kids—are gaining wider access to stronger, more potent reading material. And once they've read a gateway publication like High Times, they're going to read whatever they want."
Added Walters: "It's sad but true: In America, you can find almost anything to read if you want it bad enough."