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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » This article from The Onion just cracked me up

   
Author Topic: This article from The Onion just cracked me up
Tante Shvester
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Study: High Times Not a Gateway Magazine to Harder Reading
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Icarus
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[Big Grin]
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Uprooted
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Love the photo caption: "High Times is not a catalyst for more serious book use."
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El JT de Spang
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The thing with The Onion is that the article titles are usually much funnier than the actual article text.

edit: This article from fark.com made me laugh out loud:

China to introduce tax on chopsticks. Tom Hanks and his stupid huge piano to protest the ruling. linky

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Icarus
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quote:
Originally posted by El JT de Spang:
The thing with The Onion is that the article titles are usually much funnier than the actual article text.

I don't think that was the case with this article. I thought this article was quite clever and nuanced in its barbs.
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mr_porteiro_head
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I agree about Onion titles.

I'm sad that they moved the one-liners from the front page. Those were often the best part.

Two that I remember:

"Houseplant dead because of you."
"Drink lid declares man a loser."

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password
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"Kid Rock Starves, Napster Blamed." is an all-time great.

The moon landing in "Our Dumb Century" is pretty good, too.

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El JT de Spang
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"South postpones rising yet another year."
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SC Carver
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"The study found some evidence that long-term High Times exposure could put the peruser at increased risk for Maxim abuse. " [ROFL]
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vonk
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my favorite all time Onion title: "Area Bass Player Recieves Felatio"
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Kwea
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That was funny. [Big Grin]
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El JT de Spang
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fark.com --
Viewers prefer reruns of old sitcoms rather than new shows such as "Charlie Sheen Cracks a Smirk" and "Everybody Loves a Fat Guy With a Hot Wife"

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vonk
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There's No Way I'm Saving That Guy
By Jesus Christ

quote:
Find a new Messianic redeemer, Gus F&#khead Feigert, because I'm not taking your shit anymore. Ask the Holy Ghost for help next time, or maybe try intercessionary prayer to My mom. Maybe she'll listen to you. But not Me.

...

Yeah, I know I'm supposed to forgive everybody, and all can find refuge in Me blah blah blah. Fine. Fair enough. But not that prick. No f'ing way.

So, anybody know this guy?

Ah, The Onion cracks me up.

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TheTick
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Carolina Residents Confused, Terrified As Victorious Hurricane Players Riot In Streets

quote:
"We couldn't believe what was happening," said Sam Weber, owner of Playmakers, a Raleigh sports bar. "I still don't understand it. We had a decent crowd here to watch the 1982 North Carolina vs. Georgetown NCAA Championship game on ESPN Classic when out of nowhere a lamppost comes crashing through the front window. Then these huge pasty white guys, all wearing, like, matching sweaters, run in screaming like madmen and holding this giant planter over their heads, which they demanded I fill with beer. They invited all my customers to join them, but we were too shocked, terrified and disoriented to even move, so the gang got angry and stole four of my big-screen televisions."

"They weren't from around here, I'll tell you that much," Weber added. "When the police arrived, no one could remember having seen a single one of them before."

quote:
Sherwood suffered a mild concussion as well as facial lacerations after being forced to drink warm champagne out of "some type of weird birdbath."
Maybe only hockey fans will find this one funny. [Smile]
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kmbboots
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My all-time favorite:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28151

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Jhai
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This is my favorite Onion article:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40984

(warning - language)

Title is "Guy in Philosophy Class Needs to STFU"

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Frisco
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Bishop Takes Queen
-see Clergy, P.34

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Evie3217
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kmbboots, I love the caption under the picture in that article. "God"

Oh The Onion, how you amuse me.

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mr_porteiro_head
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My favorite:
I Wish I Were Hungry

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BlackBlade
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My Favorite:

"FBI discovers that for the last 50 years they have been using black colored highlighters"

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FlyingCow
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I just thought I'd add this here instead of making a new topic: Ten Percent Tip Teaches Waitress Valuable Lesson.

[ROFL]

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The Rabbit
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quote:
'book junkies' who rummage through street bargain bins for a fix,"
quote:
"Our study subjects were in no apparent danger of a literary overdose,"
quote:
"We're kidding ourselves if we don't believe heavy book use is a major problem," Walters said. "We've all heard horror stories of young people not being able to put down Gravity's Rainbow. Thanks to book kingpins like Barnes & Noble, more and more Americans—even kids—are gaining wider access to stronger, more potent reading material. And once they've read a gateway publication like High Times, they're going to read whatever they want."

Added Walters: "It's sad but true: In America, you can find almost anything to read if you want it bad enough."


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The Rabbit
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So I'm curious, Is hatrack membership a gateway to hard core literary addition or Is heavy book use a gateway to hatrack addiction?
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Belle
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Yes.
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The Rabbit
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Belle, That question was multiple choice not true or false.
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B34N
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No, hatrack is a gateway to obsessive posting.
[Big Grin]

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Elizabeth
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This article did not crack me up, however:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/54214

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jehovoid
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This is one of the funniest ones I've read in recent memory:

Ozzie Guillen Fined $10,000 For What He Just Thought

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dantesparadigm
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quote:
Guillen's thoughts upon learning of his punishment earned him an additional $5,000 fine and a three-game suspension.
[ROFL]
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Dagonee
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quote:
Originally posted by The Rabbit:
Belle, That question was multiple choice not true or false.

I got in trouble once for explaining to my second grade teacher that true and false questions really were multiple choice.

I'm sure this surprises no one.

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plaid
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Frito-Lay Angrily Introduces Line of Healthy Snacks
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