posted
You know how sometimes, one thing happenes and then another and then another, and before you know it, the world around you has changed so much, you can hardly tell where you are, or even who you are?
That's what I feel like is happening to me. I was informed last Thursday that I was being academically terminated from school, and if I had 'mitigating circumstances' and wanted to appeal my termination that I had to write a letter of intent to appeal, fill out the appeals forms, and gather the neccessary documentation to prove my mitigating circumstances. I was assured that my appeal would be approved, as I had strong circumstances, and enough evidence. I was lulled into a false security.
While getting ready to go to a Fall Out Boy Concert, I recieved a call from the school, assuming they were telling me that my appeal has been approved, but it was the school telling me that my appeal has been denied. Words cannot describe how shocked I was, especially since the woman who was calling to let me know that my appeal had been denied was the same woman who was the head of the appeals commitee, and the woman who told me that my appeal shouldn't have a preblem being approved. After spending several minutes on the phone with this woman, who was surprisingly cold about the whole thing, I hung up the phome. Thankfully I had the concert to go to to keep me from wallowing in the frustration and anger i was feeling, and I wound up having a pretty good time and managed to salvage my sprits somewhat. This morning I answered the door to find one of the Resident Life Coordinators of student housing, and she told me that I have until Wednesday to get my things out of student housing where I live. (They are going to let me stay a little longer than that though, thankfully)
So now my mother, who was constantly telling me how proud she is of me for following my dreams, has to get me a plane ticket home, where I have no clue what I'm going to do.
I can't believe I messed up this much, that I let everything get to me this much, and I'm not trying to blame anyone but myself, but I have some enger issues directed towards the school and the people who were supposed to help me.
Sometimes you can't keep the dominoes from falling.
Posts: 97 | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
Wow, sorry you've had such a rough time. This will sound trite, but in my experience it is true, nonetheless: whenever one door closes, you should take the time to look at all the other doors you missed or disregarded.
You're going through a big change. Take a break and get your bearings. Explore your options, but don't make any hasty decisions.
If you make this an opportunity instead of a tragedy, you'll find you're now free to pursue any number of new venues from a wiser and perhaps stronger starting point.
posted
Oh honey! What bad news! This, apparently, was not the right time for you to be in college. That doesn't mean that you can't go to college another time, though. Now you need to deal with all those mitigating circumstances that made college unsuccessful for you.
I'm don't know your circumstances, so it is hard to advise you what your best move is. If you are able, it is probably best to get a job and get to work as soon as possible. When you are ready for college, college will still be waiting for you. They will want to know why you failed and what you have done to ensure that you won't fail again.
Answering those questions will be part of your work.
posted
Nellie, I'm sorry that you're experiencing this. I'm glad that you have family to turn to for help right now; that's a good thing, even if having to turn to a parent at a time like this hurts.
Take care of yourself, and keep us posted on how things go.
posted
Hang in there, Nellie. I've been through a very similar experience. You can get past this, but for now, take the time to get yourself stable. Rely on your family and friends, know that they love you for you, not for your academic performance, and set yourself up to succeed the next time. In the words of an old Journey song, "be good to yourself."
posted
Are there other options like Community College or Jr. College in your home area. Lots of students do better in that setting. Sometimes, being closer to home, with the support system that home can be, coupled with a college that is set up for newer students is just what a person needs for a year or two.
Posts: 1167 | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
I'm sorry that's really tough. However, most schools have rea-dmittence policies. I know my university requires people to take a break of a certain amount of time, but will usually let you in afterward.
Remember that your ability to do schoolwork/classes is not the sum total of your personality. Or even close.
And you never know. The break could clear your head and help you get through the problems that led you to that situation,
Posts: 484 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
I'm going to go take a couple months off to work and start taking summer courses at the community college back home. I was just having such a hard time being so far from my family since my dad passed away in September.
I fully intend to return to San Diego after some time at home, but I will attend a different school, because I would't think about coming back to this one after how uncaring and downright rude the school has been now that they are no longer recieving a check for my tuition.
Posts: 97 | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
In fairness to the college, I doubt it's the money. Academics are generally quite committed to their subjects, and find it difficult to understand people who don't do well at them. As a general rule they wouldn't have their positions if they didn't find classes easy and interesting. And, of course, they do hear a lot of excuses that boil down to "Dude, I'd like totally have done the homework, but I was, like, real high, man, ya know?" It can be difficult to sort out the real ones from the dross.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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KoM, the school we both attend is a private art school so naturally, they only care about two things: money and reputation. The one thing that really really angered and disappointed me was that they gave Nellie false hopes. They made her go back into records of things that she doesn't want to be constantly reminded of. Sort of like the time when I posted that my grandfather had died; I had to get a copy of his death certificate to prove to my school that he had indeed, passed away. Looking at that paper, looking at all the details of his death and seeing the proof that there was no hope I would ever see him again, is very painful. They made Nellie go through that in vain, because even though it was enough for them to believe that her father had passed away, it wasn't enough for them to allow her to stay. They wasted her time in a painful and worthless search. Instead of looking for that information and instead of making her feel secure about her position, they should've told her the cold hard truth. In my eyes, they lied to her. She spent that time looking for the information instead of concentrating on looking for a way to deal with things if she had to leave school. Thankfully, our Housing Director was kind enough to make arrangements at a hotel where she can stay until she can go back home. I understand her decision to not come back to the school and in a way, I support it. I will miss her very much, thank God for internet and phones and such. Now, for the next months, Nellie will be at least 2k miles away from me.
Posts: 97 | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
I have managed to remove the computers from V's death grip, and I love the fact that she is so emotional over this. It lets me know that even though I had to go through all this, I have made a true friend. Her emotions did cause her to over emphasize a few facts, and glaze over a few others. I think she's more emotional about this than I am....
Posts: 97 | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
Would you be better off if UCSD allowed you to continue to receive poor grades -- seriously knocking down your GPA; which is seriously*considered in graduate school admissions, and by potential employers if they intend to hire you for your education** -- by allowing you to stay when you aren't doing your best work?
Take UCSD's action as a "you need a break" looking after your best interests.
* Graduate schools and employers will overlook less-than-best performance in your first year/year-and-a-half, if you do well enough in your final years to indicate that your initial grades were flukes of circumstance. ** Admittedly, most graduates don't get hired for their education, but rather for their attendance.
Posts: 8501 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
I do/did not go to UCSD. I attended private Art school, where they dont put as much of an emphasis on their grades. The focus is more on putting together a portfolio.
I'm not denying I messed up. I did, in a big way. This, in away is what i needed to snap me out of the daze i've been in since my dad.
The problem I have with the school now, is the fact that they did waste my time with an appeal that they assured me would be approved, and then wasnt. I wouldnt have as much of a problem as I would have if they had simply said that they would cosider my appeal, and get back to me when a decision was reached. That's crap.
The other problem I have with the school, is that every time I have contacted them with questions, they acted distant, cool, and rude, when before I had been treated with kindness, caring, and concern. The only one who was helpful to me, and seemed to care at all was the housing director and the RA's (one of whom told me that it didn't matter if I was leaving school, he was my RA for life, and if i needed anything to let him know.)
Posts: 97 | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by aspectre: Take UCSD's action as a "you need a break" looking after your best interests.
*shames you* How many times have I said that I attend the Art Institute of California? Just like Nellie said, the important thing here are portfolios because frankly, thats just about the only thing they look at when employers are looking for someone. They don't really care so much about your grades, not that they don't matter. The thing about grades is that since the school has the academic probation and stuff, so if your GPA lands below a certain line, chances are that your portafolio won't get seen at all anyway. Anyhoot...
quote:Originally posted by Nellie Bly: I have managed to remove the computers from V's death grip, and I love the fact that she is so emotional over this. It lets me know that even though I had to go through all this, I have made a true friend. Her emotions did cause her to over emphasize a few facts, and glaze over a few others. I think she's more emotional about this than I am....
I shed a tear as I read this. I wiped it off too before I went over yonder where you were at and hugged you. Yeah, girl, I am a true friend. I'm also very loyal and I will truly truly miss you. I just can't believe this is happening to us. I'm not saying that I will not feel comfortable with our new roomies, which I already love, its just that as much as I like them already, their names are not Debbie, their husbands don't work at the university , they are not Smallville freaks, they don't post in Hatrack with the pseudonymn of Nellie Bly, they aren't called "Ducky", they don't know karate or kung-fu, and they didn't take my mac & cheese virginity. You are unique to me, you are unique to this world and nothing can ever take your place. Good luck to you, and I hope we can take that roadtrip some time soon.
Posts: 3389 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Just like Nellie said, the important thing here are portfolios because frankly, thats just about the only thing they look at when employers are looking for someone. They don't really care so much about your grades, not that they don't matter. The thing about grades is that since the school has the academic probation and stuff, so if your GPA lands below a certain line, chances are that your portafolio won't get seen at all anyway. Anyhoot...
