quote:Originally posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion: I did qualify for both Unsubsidized and Subsidized Staffords and I'm using both. The thing is that my tuition cost exceeds what both of these loans cover, so the Creative loan supplies whatever is needed after that.
Ouch. Expensive school! But it's an investment in your future, so that's a good thing. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Originally posted by rivka: Oh, understood! But I think you would agree that she was not the average parent, or even the average unwilling-to-let-child-know-their-financial-status parent?
For sure. You do give good advice for the typical family, and this does not surprise me, since 1) you are you, and 2) you are trained in these matters.
So nice to have experts around.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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quote:Originally posted by ClaudiaTherese: 2) you are trained in these matters.
For almost a week now! Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
quote:Originally posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion:
quote:Originally posted by rivka: Alt, why don't you qualify for a Stafford loan? You should, AFAIK.
I don't think Blayne is expecting his parents to support him. But as a dependent (as defined above), he needs their (well, one of 'em) signature on his financial aid application, as well as on any follow-up forms.
I did qualify for both Unsubsidized and Subsidized Staffords and I'm using both. The thing is that my tuition cost exceeds what both of these loans cover, so the Creative loan supplies whatever is needed after that.
Wait a minute, so Blaine's parent won't even supply their tax forms? Are they insane? How exactly is Blaine supposed to apply for financial aide then? I understand that if Blaine wouldn't keep his payments his parents would have to legally, but you mean they put their credit scores before their son's own future?
Aqaaaargh! Universe is gonna asplode! my name is spelt inccorrectly once again. *boom*
They say they're willing t give me the tax form info stuff but say they will not "sign for it" I'll talk to my financial advisor about it today.
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Did you just comment on someone else's spelling? You know what? You're absolutely right. The Universe is gonna asplode!
Posts: 1156 | Registered: Jan 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Blayne Bradley: They say they're willing t give me the tax form info stuff but say they will not "sign for it" I'll talk to my financial advisor about it today.
It's good that they're willing to give you the tax stuff. They may simply not understand that (or why) their signature is required. So yeah, talk to the counselor, and see what they recommend and/or if they can call your parents and request their signature.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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The best book I've read about financial things is The Millionaire Next Door. Two economists interview hundreds of millionaires to figure out what they do differently from what others who make a lot of money but have low net worth do, and it's positively illuminating.
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posted
Really? It was a good book and all, but I thought it was pretty basic information.
The main thrust of it is "live below your means." Valuable info, surely, but hardly a shocking revelation.
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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The idea that doing this slowly will make one a millionaire is a shocking revelation to many.
The time value of money and compound interest are not intuitive concpets to most people. I have a variety of spreadsheets I use to make the point to people. Many are actually shocked when they see the effect of a single financial decision echoed 30 years later.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
Oh they know why their signaure is required, I'll divde the reasons as given by parent:
Mom: You are not ready to move out yet. // notes she doesnt believe I'm "respnsible enough" yet to bring the laptop I paid for to friends houses via bus.
Dad: Your disobediant (I dont obey stupid "orders"), you haven't given me you "log sheets" (BS) you dont go to bed when you should be(BS name a 19 yr old that still has a "bed time"), you play too many video games (I dont play as much as I used to but he ignores that), you dont study enough (he never sees when I study or ignores when I do study), made death threats to your sister and me (3 years ago and I actually didn't make them, one case was my fuming on Hatrack the other was I grabbed a shovel to keep him from attacking me).
The crux of he arguement is my percieved ability to handle responsibility, how can I learn to be responsible if I am not allowed to take risks?
My sister who was the route of the problems this weekend goes on how since I live here I must "listen" and follow their rules. I know longer wish to live under conditions that stifle my development as a human being, that denies me the minimum requirements for socializing with my friends on abusrd reasoning, where everyone is ready and willing to deny me a chance to do my work just to lecture me on ho I am not doing my work.
I am blamed as being the route of nearly all of the household problems, every fight, I never instigate any of them but they always come to me. My parents seem to object to my right to privacy.
I wont to seek out responsibility, I want to contribue back to the community and I want to finish my education my circumstances should dicate that I should have some leeway in how I spend my free time or my money when I make it, my dad objected to me buying a laptop for BS reasons, can you believe it?
Frankly unless there are changes to how I am treated in my mind they have every obligation to help me leave if I choose to do so, preventing me from doing so and mistreating me at home to me is no better then kidnapping.
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[edit -- to Dag] There's not a single member of my peer group (which includes a wide variety of savvy and not-so-savvy 20 and 30 somethings) that do not know that.
I guess that doesn't change the fact that it's still news to a great many people.
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
also, this assuming my parents income is 30,000 a year is 4k in loans and 3.6k in bursuries. if less I can get alot more.
However 2k of the loan ill spend on a new computer (my desktop is dying, may MDG computer burn in hell if it exists) but the other 2k im not sure.
posted
If you don't need the whole loan to live on, you should borrow a smaller amount.
If you will need it throughout the school year, you should put it in a money market account or savings account. Just make sure you can make frequent enough withdrawals to make use of it - some accounts restrict or penalize withdrawals.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
i was told i dont get all the money all at once, they make X00$ deposits a month although because students alrdy got theyre nov money ill get the last 4 months deposits already. And ild rather have more and spend less and have less and need more.
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Katharina- The issue isn't so much how to handle money responsibly. I have a huge terror of debt, I would prefer not to have a mortgage, if I can avoid it. The issue is that if asked to fill out even my portion of the FAFSA, I wouldn't be able to do it. Even knowing how much my parents make, watching me struggle to fill out their portion would make a great sketch comedy act. I certainly have no idea how to fill out my tax forms. I have a very fuzzy idea of what a mortgage is, but even if I wanted one I wouldn't know how to get one.
What I'm trying to say is, I don't need to know how to handle money responsibly, I need to know how to handle money at all.
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
Don't spend $2k (even in Canadian dollars) on a new computer unless you're getting a laptop, and likely not even then. You can get a good computer for a thousand dollars Canadian, I'm sure.
Posts: 15770 | Registered: Dec 2001
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
nonononononononono fugu.
Fugu my dear friend, gaming computers don't cost a thousand. Especially not gaming computers with an uber tsunami case.
I need a new LCD screen, new ram, new MOBO, new HD's, so I might as well buy a whole new computer from ym friends dad for OEM deals. (got a 600$ X850XT ATI card for 206$ 4 months back brand new).
Also, its 2,000 normal loan plus a 2k$ Computer loan, half of the 4k is meant for a new Computer and computer related asserories... for school.... yes...
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It's a wonder, really, that your parents don't think you're responsible enough.
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
Are you implying that I'm irresponsible for wanting to get my moneys worth on a new computer? I wont even probly use up the whole 2000 according to my friend I'll have plenty left over.
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You can get a computer perfectly suitable for gaming for $1000 Canadian. It will not be able to play everything with all the settings turned up, but it will be able to play most things with all the settings turned up, and everything else with maybe a few of the settings turned down.
You're going to be paying this money back many times over due to the lengthy period of loan. Don't borrow a lot just to have the latest gadgets that you'd be able to get for half the price in a year or so anyways.
Posts: 15770 | Registered: Dec 2001
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
yo man, these loans are interests free. also im getting a new moniter, y old LCD doesnt turn on anymore and its 2-3 years old. I turn it on, it goe son for less then a second and then dies each time.
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It's still not worth it. You don't want to be in oodles of debt when you get out of college. Get a sensible computer, not an expensive one. It's going to be out of date in two years anyway, and then all the money you spent now will be even less worth it in hindsight.
It's like buying a used car rather than a new one. Buying a new one (in most cases) is stupid because you are paying a premium for a new car smell. You don't need to pay the top-of the line computer premium, when one just below that will be about half the price. Trust me, I've made both mistakes (the computer, and the car)
posted
I was including a new monitor in the $1000, there are some very nice cheap LCDs out there nowadays, even for gaming purposes.
Posts: 15770 | Registered: Dec 2001
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posted
Put me in your sister's camp. Your Parents' house, your parents' rules.
I moved back home for a semester after some "life experience" as I was trying to get back on my feet.
The curfew pissed me off, a suggested bedtime seemed outrageous to me, and I wanted no part of it. So i worked my butt off and moved. I was twenty years old. I didn't like it, but I couldn't disagree with them because it was their house, and while I was there I understood it was their rules, regardless of my age.
I understand you don't WANT to live there and are trying to do something about it, but regardless of the fact that you feel they are the ones slowing you down, until you are actually out of there you gotta respect their home, dude. I know it sucks but if you want their help, respecting their house rules is certainly gonna help your situation more than harm it (At least regarding curfews and what not), I promise.
Posts: 1572 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
Dude, for Pdox games you don't need the latest hardware. Surely you're not one of those heretics that thinks games by other companies can be worth playing? But do make sure your graphics card has pixelshader 2.0, EU3 is going to need it.
Jokes aside, quite frankly I see your parents' point: You say you need a new computer, fine, for college you actually do need a computer, with you so far. And then you blow it all by saying you need a 2000-dollar gaming monster! Is this responsibility?
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
Ben, my sister makes it a point to try to get me into as many arguements as possible, even going as far as to try to convince my parents whenever she is over that I am doing everything wrong and immediate disciplinary action is needed.
I get some from working one day, shes there, I go to my room I start doing some homework, I get called upstairs to do the dishes, I am also told to eat cabbage, fine. But I need to be on my computer for 10 so I get to doing my chore, my dad goes once more for the 4th time that day to give another rant about how I shouldn't be allowed to have the pizza I worked hard to earn (I work in little casears), about how everything I do is wrong, how I am not doing enough, etc etc.
I tune it out so I can work and get the chore down so I can get back to my room my sister gets in my way and prevents me from working, I tr to get around she moves to prevent me from getting to the sink.
Why? To get me to sit down to "listen" but I am not wasting my time listening to the 4th lecture this day on BS so i refuse so she keeps me from working on my chore.
Then they both starts lecturing me on how I'm a failure, about how I'm a horrible person, about how I'm not studying enough, about how I'm going to die when I'm 30 if I dont lose weight (I'm only 208 pounds and 5'11")
I say that if theyre not going to let me do my chores then I'll go back to my room, my dad threatens to cut the ethernet cables to my room if I do.
This goes on for 15 minutes, I give up go to the barn fuming and ask my mom to get them to stop verbally abusing me. She says she cant, she says to stay up here until "I" calm down and then go back.
Why doesnt she get I'll just be abused again when I go back down?
Eventually I do go down tobring her some of my pizza only to find out most of it had been eaten!
They ate my pizza! I work for it, only to lose it!
I eat one slice since I'll probly not get any at this rate, my dad comes up and yells at me for eating pizza "when I wasn't allowed to".
I go back downstairs, I refuse to take more of this argueing so i head to my room, my dad and sister say to finish my choor, its now 10PM and my CK game with KoM is soon so I say no, if you wanted me to do the chore you could've let me do it in peace and quiet and let me do my job.
My dad heads down stairs to remove my router (regardless of whether my brother is also using it in my moms office) and we have a Mexican stand off, I follow and refuse to let him touch the internet. He says he paid for it so I say I'll pay for it then, he of course refuses.
My sister says for me to go upstairs, I say no I have things to do with my friends now and i cant be delayed any further, then my brother comes down and tells me to go upstairs as well, I say no I am not letting my dad touch the router, cuz I know he will and I tell them that I am not moving until mom comes down from her workshop.
I tell my dad he is in the wrong here for verbally insulting me (he also called me fat earlier), that mom agrees with my and that I am not leaving my spot until she comes down, and each time I tell him I do not have the time because of my sister's interfearence and his lecturing to do the chore which would have been done by now had I been left alone. My dad's rely? That I shouldn't have run upstairs to my mom and hid behind her skirts! The Chauvenist! He uses that retort alot when we try to use mom to defend us from his irrationalities.
My sister pulls the sweet innocent "we're here to help you line" I know its just a ploy to get me upstairs, and that she doesnt want a fight to break out (when shes starting it), BS.
Eventually I'm in a yelling match wiht my brother, and then my brother attacks me (as he does when we're in an agrement and I dont agree with him) I push him a way and he attacks harder and digs his nails in I grab at his hair to get him off and we end up on the gorund my glasses flying again. Before in the room when my dad tried to dismantle the router among al the yelling she attacks me and I push her a way, I get punched by someone and my glasses went flying the first time around. It got hazy but I know that my lips were swollen and my glasses were missing.
Then my mom comes down and I go back to my room, bruised, glasses were missing but I thought I won.
My dad and sister yell at my mom about how I'm the cause of all the fights in the house, how I somehow started it, about how I need to be displined. My dad yells at my mom how she keeps "undemrinning his authority" his own words and that I need to learn how to obey.
My mom comes down and says I am at fault for my behavior based on what my brother says and that I need to get off the computer and go to bed. Excuse me? She asks where my glasses are, I tell her I don't know they're missing.
Heh, apparnetly they neglected to mention that my glasses went flying in the tumble. 10 minutes of yelling later I'm forced off the computer and I miss my gaming session with KoM. Weekend ruined, evening ruined, I get attacked and all the problems in my family are my fault somehow.
This is what I need to get away from and they're preventing me, well unless they'res a serious change in atitude I think its time for me to leave ASAP, they cant keep me here and expect me to take being insulted and disrespected on a regular basis, something has to give.
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I agree you need to leave, but until that happens they do have SOME rules and expectations of you. They may be unreasonable, they may not, that is not for me to determine, but my initial stance still stands.
Posts: 1572 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
Well. Bearing in mind that we're only getting Blayne's side of it, it does seem to me that you cannot comply with rules set by people who then try to interfere with your compliance. That's the point at which un-reasonability becomes a good reason, in my mind, to start ignoring people. Respect, after all, is a line that travels two ways. Or, as in this case, it doesn't travel at all.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
And, by the way, although people are probably going to jump all over me again, the next time your brother starts a fight with you, take a leaf from Ender and finish that fight. Don't stop; bite, stomp and kick until he does not want to fight you anymore. (Biting, incidentally, is really nasty; per unit weight, the jaw is the strongest muscle in the body, and the teeth are the hardest part. Try not to go for the throat with this; but ears and hands are fair game.) This will, it's true, get you in trouble; I am of the opinion that such trouble is less troublesome than having people think they are free to hit you. It is not possible to establish a reasonable dialogue with people who resort to force; your first care, in such a situation, must be to establish boundaries that will be respected, and unfortunately, it a real fight which you win decisively is the only way to do that.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Somebody is already getting beaten, apparently on a reasonably regular basis; to wit, Blayne. Yes, I do actually think that one serious beating is better than semi-regular fighting. Blayne is not the aggressor here, at least not physically; he has a right to stop people attacking him.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
And, as I already pointed out, I think legal consequences are less of a problem than ongoing violence, especially since Blayne could plead self-defense and provocation over a long period. Still, this is a choice he needs to make for himself.
By the way, Blayne, if you're going to be passive-aggressive and just ignore people, do so all the way. If your sister gets in your way, don't ask her to do anything; just stand there and stare at her, saying nothing. In such a strategy, any time you say something, they've won a victory: They made you respond to their actions. Don't argue; we've already established experimentally that they won't listen. Don't complain; it lets them know that they have reached you. Cultivate an exterior that shows no reaction at all, even if you are bleeding inside; if you need to cry, go elsewhere where they will not see. If you have a door you can lock, do so; if you have a friend you can crash with, do so; if all else fails, spend an hour, or a night, in the woods. Do not show a reaction if you are denied CK or Vicky; this is a lever for them to reach you. We will hold your place for you in CK; and as for Vicky, you are the host and we can at a pinch wait a week or two - there are some interesting sociological things going on with the Ynglings, anyway, that I could use some time to write down.
This is not easy, and it may have long-lasting consequences you do not want; I do not necessarily recommend it. I'm just saying that if you are going to do this thing, don't do it halfway; that gets you the worst of both worlds.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
My sister has threatened during that fight to call the police on "me" and through me out of the house unless I listened, I said "do it" and she didnt. But on a really regular basis whenever I'm about to resort to violence to defend myself I am the one who is threatened with the police, I supoosedly wrote a death threat about my sister on Hatrack, something which I promptly deleted but it wasnt a threat at all, I simply wrote that I "felt like" doing some particular actions at the time for her abuse and her manipulation of my family against me 3 years ago, certaintly there is statutes of limitations on this even if it was that serious and frankly it shouldnt be brought up in EVERY arguement thereafter.
Thank you noentheless KoM for your words, they mean alot to me, and whilst I wouldn't go that far to beat him to a pulp since we do get along alot better now then 4 years ago -ish.
This is the Get along fine to Fighting Ratio.
Father: 2 /3 Mother 9/1 brother 5/1 Sister 4 / 1
Things were different during High School, then I was regularily insulted an abused at school and my family would generally stand up for me with the exception of my younger brother. But my school upon entering college declined and changing circumstances such as my sister moving ou and my adirans obviosuly near genius school performance has made my actions/performance far far worse relatively speaking in comparison although if you compared me to students elsewhere I believe statistics would say I am far above the norm.
So far, Ive found a fellow Compsci student whose planning on moving out, we're planning things out now and I'll be hanging out with him to get to know him better. I'll also see his place, its 2 buses away from Abbott but i'ld be getting a 5 1/2 almsot to my self alot of the time.
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I'm certain others won't agree with me on this, but the signature on the forms is a formality. It doesn't need to be notarized, it's just there to provide a safety check that the information is correct. My parents don't like filling stuff like that out and they always just send me PDFs of their tax forms and have me fill it out and sign for them. It would be much better if you could get your parents to sign it, but if worse comes to worse be very careful when filling out the information and then just sign your own name in your parent's spot. I sincerely doubt anybody dealing with the financial aid stuff would care or notice.
And as for spending $2,000 on a computer, I think you don't have a clue how much it truly costs to live on your own. Rent, utilities, transportation, food, clothing, entertainment add up very quickly. The school does not just throw money at you, they expect that you will need that money (and probably more) to live. Do you want to end up having to ask your parents for more money, or worse moving back home? Because if you spend $2,000 on a computer you're pretty much guaranteeing that will happen.
Posts: 1947 | Registered: Aug 2002
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
Adrian* lil' brother.
And no I wont spend a full 2000 on a computer, my friend is getting me really good deals so it will be far less with plenty to spare, but your not realizing that the computer loan is that, a COMPUTER LOAN only meant to get a new computer and/or computer related assesories.
And yes I do ealize how muh it costs, im going over it with a friend and he esitmates 800-900$ a month based on the current apartment. I can make 500 a month, a difference of 400$ but I'm getting a second job soon with the reserves.
I intend only to move out for the next school semester so I'll have some more money saved up from my current work, I can also probly save money on food by going to Costco/club price.
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quote:Originally posted by Amanecer: I sincerely doubt anybody dealing with the financial aid stuff would care or notice.
Considering that it is fraud, you would be wrong. It's certainly something I was taught to look for.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Can't help much on the family problems, but if you have your heart set on a computer, the following system is a core 2 duo system that can be overclocked to over 3 Ghz for under $1000. Overclocked to this level (all with stock cooling), the CPU can beat the AMD FX chips in benchmarks. Add a soundcard for a few bucks in the onboard 7.1 surround isn't good enough. If you want RAID, get two $50 HDs, etc. I think you mentioned you don't need a video card because you have one, so take that off. You can give and take on some of the components and still stay at around the $1000 range. Fugu knows what he's talking about. There's kind of a price break at around $1000. Paying $2000 for a system isn't really going to buy you a lot of noticeable performance. The following system will be more than sufficient for quite some time.
1 Rosewill R5717-P SL 120mm Fan ATX Mid Tower Computer Case $24.99
posted
Hey, cool - thanks, BQT. I've been trying to put together a part list for a system. This helps a lot.
I'll double the memory and upgrade the graphics card one level, but I don't need the case, keyboard, DVD burner, monitor, or floppy. Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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I wish I had an old system to take parts from. My wife still uses the other computer though.
Rivka-
Thanks, I made a mental note during the post not to forget the conversion, then I did
I guess it'd be about $1100 CAD, but not all components cost the same. It's not always strict dollar to dollar conversion-that'd be too easy.
Posts: 1412 | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
But the costs of tech equipment in Canada are higher than here, even taking the conversion into account. And if you order from here and have them shipped, if it's over a certain amount you have to pay import taxes.
It would undoubtedly still be a good system for considerably under $2000, but it would probably end up being more than $1200 Canadian.
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
Blayne, if you did what they said, would they do what you want? Sometimes we have to live by rules we don't like. You want to be in the military, no? Learning to live with unreasonable (in perception or reality) rules is sometimes part of life.
Now, if you've lived by their rules, without complaint, and they still refuse to do what you want, you'd have a problem, I agree. But is it the tiniest bit possible that if you do what Ben suggests, they might actually give you some respect?
I have this conversation over and over with my brother. He has never seen the value of just doing what he is told to prove that he can to authority figures so he can get more privileges. I don't mean to lecture, but sometimes people just need to know that you CAN follow rules. I hope you can at least consider that solution.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
I caught the allusion, but since Dag posted the straight conversion I figured it wouldn't hurt to clarify. Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote: I need a new LCD screen, new ram, new MOBO, new HD's, so I might as well buy a whole new computer from ym friends dad for OEM deals. (got a 600$ X850XT ATI card for 206$ 4 months back brand new).
Anytime you take a load out it should be for a need. I am really curious how you define need Blane.
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