posted
There is a right way to do something and a wrong way. Some people, by dint of a deprived upbringing, never learned the correct way to do things. As a public service, I shall try to correct this sad state.
Toilet paper is hung so that the paper rolls over the top. The only exceptions to this are in cases where there is a toddler or cat in the house who will unspool the entire roll when it is hung that way.
Right sock, left sock, right shoe, left shoe. Don't be putting on a sock and a shoe and a sock and a shoe; that's just wrong.
If you are a woman wearing a one-piece bathing suit and you find that you need to empty your bladder, leave the pool, go into the bathroom, and pull the crotch portion of your suit all the way to one side and then pee. Do not pee in the pool. Do not attempt to peel off the wet suit and then get it back on again. If you do the former, you are no longer invited over to go swimming. And if you do the latter, you will be hopping and bumping and banging around the bathroom like a pinball in a pinball machine. Have a little grace, why don't you.
If you are invited over to someone's house for dinner, and you have nasty food allergies, let your hosts know ahead of time, so that they don't feel bad about having to call 911 and resuscitate you because they didn't know you couldn't eat almonds. If you didn't say anything before, and you can't eat (or don't like) the food, quietly demur when you are served, rather than demand that they stop and cook you something else. You can always pick up a burger on your way home if you are still hungry.
If you post on Hatrack, and you disagree with someone's opinion, either keep your disagreement to yourself or else engage in polite debate. Attacking someone personally by making rude comments about their sanity or their mother's promiscuity really doesn't make you seem clever, just obnoxious.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
A toilet paper dispenser that simply sticks straight up vertically abolishes the over-the-top/out-from-under debate, as well as drastically reducing time spent replacing the toilet paper. Brilliant invention, IMO.
Posts: 930 | Registered: Dec 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote: Do not pee in the pool. Do not attempt to peel off the wet suit and then get it back on again. If you do the former, you are no longer invited over to go swimming.
Excuse me, but this begs the question, how would one actually find out you had peed in the pool?
Posts: 930 | Registered: Dec 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Can boys continue to pee in the pool? You know sometimes one ties that string around the waist a little too tightly and makes the knot too tight. When that happens you can't always untie it in time! Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester: If you are a woman wearing a one-piece bathing suit and you find that you need to empty your bladder, leave the pool, go into the bathroom, and pull the crotch portion of your suit all the way to one side and then pee. Do not pee in the pool. Do not attempt to peel off the wet suit and then get it back on again. If you do the former, you are no longer invited over to go swimming. And if you do the latter, you will be hopping and bumping and banging around the bathroom like a pinball in a pinball machine. Have a little grace, why don't you.
*dies* My mom and I just had this discussion a week or two ago, and I suggested exactly what you have outlined - to pull it to the side. It really is the best way to go, as well as far more graceful and infinitely less disgusting that one of the other options.
Posts: 691 | Registered: Nov 2008
| IP: Logged |
That had never occurred to me. It is absolutely brilliant! Now I am sad that I will never have any daughters that I could teach this method to when they start swimming.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged |
quote:If you are going to do something, do it right!
Since we've started our little hobby farm, we've had so much work to do that I've had to work hard to un-learn this bit of wisdom. I have to keep telling myself "good enough is perfect" in order to get anything done.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
I disagree with the toilet paper thing. That is, when I bother hanging a toilet paper roll in the first place.
Plus there's lots of right ways to do something and quite a few wrong ways. The best way to make chocolate chip cookies is to add more vanilla, I think.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
The trick of pulling the swimsuit all the way to the side can also be handy for other occasions.
Posts: 5656 | Registered: Oct 1999
| IP: Logged |
quote:The best way to make chocolate chip cookies is to add more vanilla, I think.
*nods* And use butter, for the love of God. (It also helps to melt the butter before adding the sugar.)
Posts: 834 | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote: The only exceptions to this are in cases where there is a toddler or cat in the house who will unspool the entire roll when it is hung that way.
I have a cat who does this very thing! Nothing like clawed toilet paper coming out of the bathroom, down the hall, into the basement....leading right to the cat who is trying to look innocent
Posts: 1918 | Registered: Mar 2005
| IP: Logged |
Nice. My cats have stolen away some actual origami pieces before. For some reason, I folded a hermit crab once, and the next thing I knew it was their favorite toy. It wasn't even sprinkled with catnip first. Posts: 691 | Registered: Nov 2008
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester: Toilet paper is hung so that the paper rolls over the top. The only exceptions to this are in cases where there is a toddler or cat in the house who will unspool the entire roll when it is hung that way.
The toilet paper rolls over the top regardless of whether the end of the roll hangs in front of or behind the roll. Which do you advocate?
Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester: Right sock, left sock, right shoe, left shoe. Don't be putting on a sock and a shoe and a sock and a shoe; that's just wrong.
I do left sock, right sock, left shoe, right shoe.
Posts: 158 | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester: Right sock, left sock, right shoe, left shoe. Don't be putting on a sock and a shoe and a sock and a shoe; that's just wrong.
I do left sock, right sock, left shoe, right shoe.
I haven't worn socks in so long, I don't remember how I used to put them on...
Posts: 2069 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
Tip #1: They go on your feet. That gets me every time, especially when I'm not awake in the morning.
Posts: 3486 | Registered: Sep 2002
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester: Right sock, left sock, right shoe, left shoe.
I'm glad to see you follow the shulchan aruch.
quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester: Don't be putting on a sock and a shoe and a sock and a shoe; that's just wrong.
Nope. It's more efficient that way.
Dana, I am stunned that a woman can reach her thirties without learning the swimsuit trick.
Prepare for another shock. I had never heard of it either. And would end up peeing on my hand.
That was my first concern when hearing of it.
Of course, the only time I wore one-suits was the age of 1-9, so this was especially true back then. [Of course, it's probably just as true now...]
Posts: 135 | Registered: Jun 2007
| IP: Logged |
quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by rivka:
quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Tante Shvester: Right sock, left sock, right shoe, left shoe. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm glad to see you follow the shulchan aruch.
quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Tante Shvester: Don't be putting on a sock and a shoe and a sock and a shoe; that's just wrong.
Don't forget to tie th left shoe first.
Posts: 399 | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester: Toilet paper is hung so that the paper rolls over the top. The only exceptions to this are in cases where there is a toddler or cat in the house who will unspool the entire roll when it is hung that way.
The toilet paper rolls over the top regardless of whether the end of the roll hangs in front of or behind the roll. Which do you advocate?
Over the top towards you. As opposed to down the back.
Posts: 12266 | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Tante, the first two things on your list (the toilet paper and the sock/shoe thing) are both things that were debated by Archie Bunker and Meathead. I'm sure you'll be happy to know that Archie took your position in both cases.
Posts: 1080 | Registered: Apr 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester: Right sock, left sock, right shoe, left shoe. Don't be putting on a sock and a shoe and a sock and a shoe; that's just wrong.
I do left sock, right sock, left shoe, right shoe.
I recommend that you do the right sock and shoe first. Don't you want to start out your day on the right foot?
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester: Right sock, left sock, right shoe, left shoe.
I'm glad to see you follow the shulchan aruch.
quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester: Don't be putting on a sock and a shoe and a sock and a shoe; that's just wrong.
Nope. It's more efficient that way.
Dana, I am stunned that a woman can reach her thirties without learning the swimsuit trick.
Prepare for another shock. I had never heard of it either. And would end up peeing on my hand.
No one every suggested it to me either. Of course, I figured it out on my own before I hit the age of 13.
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester: Right sock, left sock, right shoe, left shoe. Don't be putting on a sock and a shoe and a sock and a shoe; that's just wrong.
I do left sock, right sock, left shoe, right shoe.
I recommend that you do the right sock and shoe first. Don't you want to start out your day on the right foot?
How can you stand on your right foot and put the shoe on that foot at the same time?
To start standing out on the the right foot, you have to put the left shoe on first.
[ February 11, 2009, 09:55 AM: Message edited by: The Rabbit ]
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
| IP: Logged |
quote:Right sock, left sock, right shoe, left shoe. Don't be putting on a sock and a shoe and a sock and a shoe; that's just wrong.
Now Tante,get real. By the time I get my old left knee bent far enough that I can reach my foot, I want to get everything done that I can. Toe spacer in, check; snagggly nails smoothed, check; support hose hoisted, check; wiggle room reestablished, check; shoe popped on, check; laces tied, and double tied, check. Then I can take a quick nap before I have to start looking for the right foot.
Posts: 1167 | Registered: Oct 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Tante, I would agree, however, if there is snow on the ground outside of the tent, and the shoes are frozen, there is merit in putting both socks on before attempting the shoes.
Posts: 1167 | Registered: Oct 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I rarely wear socks or shoes for that matter. I use to subscribe to the both socks then both shoes method but I have found that since I started putting on my socks and shoes while standing there is a much more stable platform if one has a bare foot or shoe on the floor (my floors are wood and polished). So I put on one sock, then the shoe, then the other sock and shoe. My other sock rules are:
White is the only acceptable color for athletic use. White is the only acceptable color with shorts. Crew is the highest allowed for shorts. Crew is the lowest allowed for long pants. Sockless is best for shorts.
For lagniappe I offer this non-sock advice; never wear a tie with a short sleeve shirt as there is no such thing as a short sleeve dress shirt.
Posts: 87 | Registered: Apr 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
When I wear socks, which has become quite rare during the past year, I put them on in my bedroom while I'm dressing.
I put on my shoes by the front door as I'm leaving the house. Only barbarians wear their outdoor shoes around the house.
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
My cats have stolen away some actual origami pieces before. For some reason, I folded a hermit crab once, and the next thing I knew it was their favorite toy. It wasn't even sprinkled with catnip first. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
