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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » The Universe just conspired against me (Page 2)

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Author Topic: The Universe just conspired against me
Itsame
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Actually, I wasn't clenching my jaw. That's just how my jaw looks with my mouth closed. [Frown]

Edit: And my complaint isn't that I attract men. It's that the comparative number of men seems to outweigh women. Either that or I am just bad at reading signals from women... which is a given.

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TomDavidson
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Well, the signal that sends is "I care a great deal about how I look." I don't mean to stereotype gay men, here, but I've noticed that gay men are more likely to respond positively to that vibe than college-aged women are. Try going a little scruffier -- or, at the very least, a little less studiously posed -- and see if women respond.
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Blayne Bradley
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Hehehe.

As for my hair, since its not took season its not all over the place, brushing it just makes it "nicer" when its not brushed it just sorta goes in two different directions while if i brush it tends to be swept to one side.

I need a camera.

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BelladonnaOrchid
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How did this get into a discussion as to whether or not particular hair styles are appropriate?

Dude, have you asked her out yet? If this is a m/w/f course that you're taking (I would figure a calculus class would surely be), surely you've seen her again by now. If you have seen her and not asked her out, what's holding you back?

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Blayne Bradley
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not making it seem awkward? I can't exactly ask during the class, if I ask at the beginning it would seem I was waiting for her and thus possibly entering creepy territory and if I leave too early and wait outside see above, I have to time it just right.
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TomDavidson
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Why not just walk up to her after class and say, "Hey, want to get a coffee together tonight?" And then ask her for a date over coffee.
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El JT de Spang
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And if she says she doesn't like coffee, call her a skank and then RUN AWAY!

(because it's Blayne, I feel compelled to add that that was a joke. Please never do that)

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Blayne Bradley
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I think Ill skip to the running away part, more efficient.

I'm NOT a quiet person. This is something I prefer the din of the hallway for.

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TomDavidson
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What do you know about her? Why not just quickly invite her to some casual thing you're planning on doing anyway?
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scifibum
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"Why not just quickly invite her to some casual thing you're planning on doing anyway?"

Note: this should not include doing your laundry.

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scholarette
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What's wrong with laundry? Though that might be a bit much for a first date (considering that at my college, the laundry room was where you went to make out).
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scifibum
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I can't articulate the reasons I had in mind without sounding ridiculous, so I might have to conclude that there's nothing wrong with laundry. [Smile]

But I'll share those reasons anyway:
- Dirty laundry might have sights or odors you don't want to share at that point
- There might be a somewhat creepy vibe to the implied invitation to handle your underthings

If you can avoid those kinds of intimacies then perhaps it'd be a good low key setting. I'd still think coffee or frozen yogurt or something might be a less risky offer. [Smile]

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kmbboots
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It should also not include inviting her to watch you play video games.
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El JT de Spang
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As a rule, first dates should not involve the girl watching you do anything you'd do in your home alone.

I so want to make an onanism joke here.

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kmbboots
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Agreed.

"Some casual thing you're planning on doing anyway" leaves a lot of room for error.

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scifibum
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I thought of a third reason:
- Without extra effort, she gets all the information about your wardrobe at once. (There's no advantage to wearing your best shirt.)

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rivka
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Laundry is NEVER casual.
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The Rabbit
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quote:
Originally posted by TomDavidson:
What do you know about her? Why not just quickly invite her to some casual thing you're planning on doing anyway?

Or better yet, invite her to something you are doing with a group of friends. If you have to, plan something with a group of friends like meet at a local pizza joint or something.

Then you can, say a group of us are going out for Pizza friday night, would you like to come along. Its a really much better situation for lots of reasons. As a young woman, its can be kind of scary going on a date with some guy you barely know, a group setting is a much safer place to get to know someone than a date. Furthermore, the one on one of a date is kind of high pressure and a lot of people feel awkward on a first date. If you are with a group, you don't have to carry the whole conversation, there is less chance of putting your foot in your mouth or having long awkward pauses in the conversation. Its a much more low pressure way to have a chance to talk to a girl and find out if you actually have anything in common besides math class. I think the whole awkwardness of dating is one of the reasons so many people go to movies on dates, despite the fact that going to a movie together is a really terrible way to get to know someone.

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Mucus
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quote:
Originally posted by TomDavidson:
What do you know about her? Why not just quickly invite her to some casual thing you're planning on doing anyway?

Based on a probabilistic model of how BB seems to spend his time, that seems to imply that he should either invite her to play MMO games or invite her to help solve his problems by posting on Hatrack (in which case the whole thing goes recursive).
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Blayne Bradley
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quote:
Originally posted by The Rabbit:
quote:
Originally posted by TomDavidson:
What do you know about her? Why not just quickly invite her to some casual thing you're planning on doing anyway?

Or better yet, invite her to something you are doing with a group of friends. If you have to, plan something with a group of friends like meet at a local pizza joint or something.

Then you can, say a group of us are going out for Pizza friday night, would you like to come along. Its a really much better situation for lots of reasons. As a young woman, its can be kind of scary going on a date with some guy you barely know, a group setting is a much safer place to get to know someone than a date. Furthermore, the one on one of a date is kind of high pressure and a lot of people feel awkward on a first date. If you are with a group, you don't have to carry the whole conversation, there is less chance of putting your foot in your mouth or having long awkward pauses in the conversation. Its a much more low pressure way to have a chance to talk to a girl and find out if you actually have anything in common besides math class. I think the whole awkwardness of dating is one of the reasons so many people go to movies on dates, despite the fact that going to a movie together is a really terrible way to get to know someone.

No, Double No, Full Stop, You Do Not Go past Go and Most definately not collect 200$, cease, arret, halt, stop, and stop some more, in fact a reversal might be in order.

I would never let my friends near any girl I might have a chance at dating without wanting to commit relationship suicide, think of the things YOU know about me, then consider for a moment that my friends might know ALOT more and might say for example exclaim LOUDLY in surprise that I might be seen in the company of someone female in anything hinting towards romance or a relationship of any kind.

Then think of all the things that the girl obviously wouldn't know about me but are embarrassing, I think Hatrack knows of at least several examples that my friends in the most fundamentally failure of tact ever concieved would undoubtedly start prattling off a whole list of reasons why the girl should not be dating me.

In short Bad bad BAD idea even if they don't INTEND to do what I describe above I know that they will have the uncontrollable compulsion to do so because they would be so shocked and surprised that they would have no choice.

So no, no friends. There is maybe ONE friend who I trust would remain silent about any of my bad habits.

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scifibum
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Here's an idea. Forget dating until you're comfortable enough with your habits to have someone find out about them. Or, at least, quiet down with your friends (meatspace) about things that you can keep private even if you develop a close relationship with someone, so that your discoverable habits are ones that you are OK with having out in the open.

Finding that comfort level could include a combination of changing your habits or learning to be comfortable with existing habits.

But the terror that a date might *get to know you* is, I think, a very unfortunate circumstance.

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jebus202
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What? That's the point of dating, scifibum... you act as normal as possible to make the person like you enough to get past all your crazy weirdness.

That's what I always understood it to be, anyway.

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scifibum
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Well, yes, you have to ease them into your oddness.

And I'm on record saying that waiting for perfection is not a good dating strategy - I was talking about perfection in the partner, but it goes the other way too.

Maybe I was a little harsh.

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ClaudiaTherese
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quote:
Originally posted by El JT de Spang:
As a rule, first dates should not involve the girl watching you do anything you'd do in your home alone.

I so want to make an onanism joke here.

[ROFL]
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T:man
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quote:
Originally posted by TomDavidson:
There's a T-Man on this board, I think, but only one of him.

Hey!

Its T:man

And don't forget our other T Traceria!

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TomDavidson
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quote:
consider for a moment that my friends might know ALOT more and might say for example exclaim LOUDLY in surprise that I might be seen in the company of someone female
1) Get new friends.
2) Profit!

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The Rabbit
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So now your friends are conspiring against you too. Very unfortunate.
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