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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Time to Come Clean (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Time to Come Clean
Ace of Spades
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With a new year starting I think now would be a good time for JanitorBlade to come clean and admit that he owes me an apology.
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Strider
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I am posting in this high quality thread!
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Rakeesh
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Aww, man, I was hoping you'd turn out to be confessing an absurd, embarrassing troll.

Well, the year's still young!

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AchillesHeel
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Unfortunately I didn't get any nice cookies for the holidays, does anyone have a suggestion as to what kind of artisan cookie I should buy myself?

I'm thinking something along the lines of a medium size tin or package, I haven't had a good sugary biscuit in a while.

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kmbboots
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My mom used to make rosettes for the holidays.
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Armoth
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Baring the ugliness of your ego and seeking to hurt the ego of another in the same post...you are talented.
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advice for robots
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Coming clean: I stole 6 gumballs from a broken gumball machine once.
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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by kmbboots:
My mom used to make rosettes for the holidays.

What are those? I don't think I know of a cookie by that name.
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Scott R
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When I was eight or nine, I helped a friend steal a cigar from her grandmother's general store, and we smoked in the back. I took a single puff-- it was foul and made me vomit.

*WHEW*

Glad to finally get that off my chest.

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ElJay
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http://www.carriessweetlife.com/rosettes/

They're delicious. We haven't made them in a long time...

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JanitorBlade
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quote:
Originally posted by Ace of Spades:
With a new year starting I think now would be a good time for JanitorBlade to come clean and admit that he owes me an apology.

I respectfully disagree. You have my email, if you really felt this way you would have used it by now.
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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by ElJay:
http://www.carriessweetlife.com/rosettes/

They're delicious. We haven't made them in a long time...

Ah, requires a special tool, AND is deep-fried. I won't be making those any time soon, but they look yummy.
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advice for robots
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I finally bought a deep fryer. Have to look for rosette irons now. Yummy!
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Raymond Arnold
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When I was 4, I said that I ate an entire sandwich, including the crust, but I actually threw the whole thing away.

(My dad already knows this, but I figured I'd share with the rest of you)

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TheHollow
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Why does Ace of Spaces want an apology?
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AchillesHeel
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When I was a boy growing up in England, stationary was very hard to come by at my preparatory school so rather than go without I would actually forge one of my instructors signature. Then it was as simple as going to the school's supply master with my forgery and I became known about the students as the boy who always had proper stationary to trade and barter.

... Wait, that wasn't me that happened to Niel Gaiman. I keep mixing those stories up.

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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by TheHollow:
Why does Ace of Spaces want an apology?

Some people don't need actual reasons.
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Glenn Arnold
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quote:
When I was 4, I said that I ate an entire sandwich, including the crust, but I actually threw the whole thing away.
And that is the only thing Raymond has ever done wrong in his entire life.
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Orincoro
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quote:
Originally posted by rivka:
quote:
Originally posted by TheHollow:
Why does Ace of Spaces want an apology?

Some people don't need actual reasons.
How dare you. Apologize to me at once.
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Rakeesh
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She was clearly speaking to me, so rivka, I'm going to demand apologies for months and months, and months after THAT I'll bring it up out of nowhere when everyone but me has forgotten about it, even almost forgotten I exist.

Orincoro, of course, owes me a double-apology for attempting to appropriate *my* apology, as well as interrupting rivka when she was speaking to me.

So that's three so far. I'm sure the rest of you slack-jawed heathens owe me apologies for all kinds of stuff too, probably for cowering before moderation, so get started. None of you want to owe me still more apologies for not apologizing when commanded.

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rivka
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[Taunt]
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Orincoro
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Do you bite your thumb at me sir?
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Rakeesh
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That's an extra apology owed by both of you! I'm warning you, now that you've each been warned about my warnings about your requirement to apologize, the number of apologies will begin to increase exponentially unless I see some serious groveling right. now.

And I do mean 'see'. Flights are cheaper than they've been in years.

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Aros
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While in Malaysia, I went to a fancy restaurant and ate a bowl of shark fin and lobster soup, followed with baby abalone in lobster sauce. It was tasty.
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Sean Monahan
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About ten years ago, I was living in an apartment in Nashville. Just outside my door was a trapdoor opening into the attic of the building. It was partially open. There was a bird that lived in there. For weeks, it made a lot of noise in there, and it was very annoying, especially in the early morning when I was trying to sleep. One day, I waited until if flew out, then I closed the wooden cover a few inches, just enough that the bird would not fit back into it. Problem solved.

A few days later, I came out of my door, and I found the carcass of a baby bird lying under the trapdoor. I realized then what I had done. The adult bird was a mama bird, and she had babies up there. When I closed the trapdoor, she could no longer get up there to feed and care for her babies, and she was forced to abandon them. They starved. I killed baby birds. I just wanted it to go away and stop making noise. I didn't want to kill baby birds.

I cried.

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rivka
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[Cry]
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Blayne Bradley
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I found a injured sparrow on the side of the road once, in a parking space. I carefully using my hat moved it into someone's garden where I hoped it would have a greater chance of recovery.

My brothers girlfriend freaked at me though, she's kinda a germaphobe.

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scholarette
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I just want to apologize to everyone out there for everything mean I have posted and not posted. And the not posted stuff was so totally awesome and would have left scorch marks for days, maybe even years.
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Stone_Wolf_
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When I was 14 or so, it was my job to keep the bird feeder full of bird feed. The local squirrel would jump up on it and dump out 90% of the seed to get to the few nuts. I had just finished refilling it from the last squirrel attack and gone inside when the little bastard hopped on the bird house and completely emptied it in a matter of minutes.

I decided that meant war. I grabbed up my scoped .22 lr, and laid in wait. Boom, I got the bushy tailed little menace. But once he was dying and twitching and looking cute, I felt bad. So I shot it in the face 3 or 4 times, and then it wasn't twitching or so cute anymore, and I felt really bad.

I cried and buried him in the hay field behind the barn in an old shoe box.

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Scott R
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I killed JR Ewing.
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Belle
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I used my prep time at school to look for other jobs and even printed out resumes on school printers. [Blushing] [Frown]

When my laptop power cord was chewed up by my dog, I brought my school issued laptop home and used it for non-school related things until the replacement power cord I ordered arrived.

[Blushing] [Frown]

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Annie
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I stole my Uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play.
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Dobbie
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This isn't my real name.
Also, this isn't the only name I've ever registered here.

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Hank
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quote:
Originally posted by advice for robots:
Coming clean: I stole 6 gumballs from a broken gumball machine once.

What on EARTH were you going to do with that many gumballs? I can barely fit one in my mouth for proper chewing.
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Lyrhawn
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When I was like six or seven, I lost one of the little plastic guns from my transformers toy and opened a package in the store to take the gun from it.

After two days of playing with the new gun, my guilt was sufficient enough to beg my mother to return me to the store, where I slipped the gun back into the same package I'd opened.

And it was the perfect crime, too.

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advice for robots
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quote:
Originally posted by Hank:
quote:
Originally posted by advice for robots:
Coming clean: I stole 6 gumballs from a broken gumball machine once.

What on EARTH were you going to do with that many gumballs? I can barely fit one in my mouth for proper chewing.
Well, they were the little tiny 1 cent kind. You put two or three in, get them going, and add more one at a time. Six makes a fairly satisfying wad of gum.

We knew the machine would give up gumballs if you jiggled it just so, so we waited for the cashier to go to the back of the store and got as many out as we could. She caught us in the act and we ran out of the store.

I later returned with 6 pennies for the gumballs. I don't think I've consciously taken anything from a store without paying since.

Three whole years now. [Razz]

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Blayne Bradley
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Ace of Spades there is only room for one attention whore on these forums.
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rollainm
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I like trains.
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Jon Boy
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quote:
Originally posted by advice for robots:
I later returned with 6 pennies for the gumballs. I don't think I've consciously taken anything from a store without paying since.

Three whole years now. [Razz]

I'm glad to hear you've reformed.
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Dogbreath
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I lied about my age to almost everyone I know for like 6 years.
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Sala
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Belle, I bring my school-issued laptop home everyday and do non-school stuff on it. Like right now I'm using it to type this note!
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Itsame
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quote:
Originally posted by Dogbreath:
I lied about my age to almost everyone I know for like 6 years.

I'm actually 16. I've been lying on here to make people think I'm older.
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Dogbreath
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I'm actually 22, which is also the age I tell everyone here I am.

I started High School when I was 13 years old, so I lied about my age to almost all of my friends. (it's easy to pull off when you're 6' 2" as a 13 year old)

Also, when I was 13, I told everyone online I was 18. (which seemed incredibly old and grown up at the time) I suppose it had a positive effect - behavior and opinions that would be tolerated or seen as amusing coming from a 13 year old were very quickly and thoroughly exposed by people who thought I was an immature 18 year old. It let me develop the conversational skills to appear far older than my actual age, which helped a lot in school.

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Dan_Frank
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quote:
Originally posted by JonHecht:
quote:
Originally posted by Dogbreath:
I lied about my age to almost everyone I know for like 6 years.

I'm actually 16. I've been lying on here to make people think I'm older.
I've never fully understood this. When I was a kid around older people, I reveled in the fact that I was so young and able to converse with people older than me. And then it stopped mattering. In fact, once I hit my twenties and beyond I was sort of sad because nobody ever did a double take when they heard my age.
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Dogbreath
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Try this,

Before they know you're 13:

"That's an interesting point Dogbreath, I disagree because of blah blah..."

After they know you're 13:

"I realize in many ways that's how it seems to you, Dogbreath, and I support your efforts to express yourself, but I think as you grow older and experience more of life you'll come to see blah blah..."

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Dan_Frank
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Oh sure, but then you know who's an ageist D-Bag and who isn't, and can proceed accordingly!

I guess high school is a different boat though, what with the bullying and stuff. I skipped HS altogether, so I can't fairly comment.

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Dogbreath
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High School is a much different boat. The sort of things girls want to do and say to a little on the skinny side 15 year old are things they'd never dream of with a 13 year old. [Smile] It was mostly an issue of respect (bullying was never an issue) - despite what they may claim, teenagers have an immense amount of respect for age. And so do adults.

Were you home schooled?

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Dan_Frank
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Public school as a child, home schooled for a year or two after school became progressively lousier and lousier, then college courses replacing what would roughly be junior high/high school.

I was not especially big for my age (always been decidedly average sized, except perhaps these days, where I am average sized with an above average midsection [Wink] ), so there really wasn't any way to hide the fact that I was 13(or 14, or even 15) in classes mostly full of 20somethings.

I absolutely agree that ageism is pretty pervasive in our society. I do find it to be the worst in young people, though, who have a tendency not just to dismiss people trivially younger than them, but also dismiss themselves out of hand. "Oh, I used to think t hat back when I was a stupid teenager. Weren't we all stupid teenagers?"

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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by Ace of Spades:
With a new year starting I think now would be a good time for JanitorBlade to come clean and admit that he owes me an apology.

Show me on the doll where hatrack touched you
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AchillesHeel
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My brain re-arranged that, and now I'm imagining a plushie hatrack. It is adorable.
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