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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Meditations on "Nice Guys" (Page 8)

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Author Topic: Meditations on "Nice Guys"
Risuena
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Here's a good (apparently) real-life example of a nice guy.

He even calls himself a nice guy.

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Rakeesh
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Hrm. I don't know, the concluding dismissal felt a little staged to be honest. Not that I disagreed with its content, but it didn't feel very authentic in a 'this happened' way.

(Admittedly this may not *sound* like abject fawning over your gynocracy, Risuena, whose approval I value over all things. But it totes is because of course I do!)

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Risuena
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Well, I did include an (apparently), so I allow that there's room for it to be staged/faked. Still, I think that you do need to work on your fawning. I'm a big fan of fawns.

Even if it is fake, it still feels like something that could easily happen. And it makes me happy that facebook wasn't a thing when I last worked retail - because I was definitely approached by customers - sometimes repeatedly. And if they could have found me online and intruded in my non-work life, I'd have been extremely upset/uncomfortable/creeped out/etc.

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Rakeesh
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Oh, well as for the larger story, I have little doubt that that sort of thing happens quite a bit. (Picture me as Igor, lurching forward with eager toadying.) The wording of the last Facebook post, though, rang a bit sketchy for me.
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Dogbreath
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The rather large number of nerd-culture references from both sides, along with her outright quoting tvtropes with her last reply makes me think it might be staged. That along with the fact that it's rather unusually well worded and structured for what basically amounts to a giant "f*** you" to a stranger seems suspect.

Then again, she might have had the idea of screen shotting it before/while writing it and was therefore cognizant of the fact she was writing for an audience. Thus the "staged" feel.

Or maybe that's just the way she writes. *shrugs*

Anyway, my wife actually had 2 guys do this same thing! One was over a year ago. One guy she met briefly at a social event found her because she was part of a Swing Dance group on facebook, identified her by her profile picture, then sent her a long series of messages. After a while (like the 3rd time he asked her to "come over and hang out", and she replied politely "sorry, I have plans with my boyfriend"), she eventually told him "look, I really don't want to hang out with you and I think it's kind of creepy that you keep messaging me" to which she got a long "hey, whatever bitch, screw me for being a nice guy blah blah blah" diatribe in response.

The second was about 5 months ago. She had signed up for a tutoring session for a chemistry class she was taking (basically, you go on the university website and pick a tutor/timeslot) and was studying in the library afterwards. The tutor approached her about 5 times over a 6 hour period (she was waiting to take a test that evening) and kept trying to strike up a conversation. Afterwards, he looked up her name in her class roster, found her e-mail address, and sent her an e-mail asking if she wanted to come to his house for a tutoring session the next Monday. She didn't reply, so he sent 2 more before she blocked him.

Now, I may be old fashioned, but isn't it courteous to at least ask a girl for her phone number or permission to add her on Facebook/e-mail her before just blithely harassing her? Since when has stalking been romantic?

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Dogbreath
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Also, the comments from that article are pretty great. My favorite so far:

quote:
As he waited for her reply on Facebook, he let himself lean back in his chair with the brim of his fedora shielding his eyes from the light of the room. He imagined what fun they would have until her ex-partners tracked him down. There would be exes, of course, he wasn't naive enough to think that he would be her first.

They would come for him, and he would fight. Not just for himself, but for her. The one he vowed to worship. In dedication to her cause like a Paladin to their deity he would gain strength beyond normal limits. With his trenchcoat billowing behind him he would charge forwards, lashing out with fist and blade blazing with the physical manifestation of his passion for that cat goddess he had pledged his life to.

When the battle had been won, he would stand victorious over them. And his kitty would come to bless his struggles with the sweetest kiss.

With a slightly ragged breath he forced himself up to check his Facebook page.

Still no response.

Maybe the last one failed to get through. He hadn't been blocked, and her page still existed. Those two facts put hope in his heart.


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theamazeeaz
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quote:
Originally posted by Dogbreath:
The rather large number of nerd-culture references from both sides, along with her outright quoting tvtropes with her last reply makes me think it might be staged. That along with the fact that it's rather unusually well worded and structured for what basically amounts to a giant "f*** you" to a stranger seems suspect.

Then again, she might have had the idea of screen shotting it before/while writing it and was therefore cognizant of the fact she was writing for an audience. Thus the "staged" feel.

Or maybe that's just the way she writes. *shrugs*

Anyway, my wife actually had 2 guys do this same thing! One was over a year ago. One guy she met briefly at a social event found her because she was part of a Swing Dance group on facebook, identified her by her profile picture, then sent her a long series of messages. After a while (like the 3rd time he asked her to "come over and hang out", and she replied politely "sorry, I have plans with my boyfriend"), she eventually told him "look, I really don't want to hang out with you and I think it's kind of creepy that you keep messaging me" to which she got a long "hey, whatever bitch, screw me for being a nice guy blah blah blah" diatribe in response.

The second was about 5 months ago. She had signed up for a tutoring session for a chemistry class she was taking (basically, you go on the university website and pick a tutor/timeslot) and was studying in the library afterwards. The tutor approached her about 5 times over a 6 hour period (she was waiting to take a test that evening) and kept trying to strike up a conversation. Afterwards, he looked up her name in her class roster, found her e-mail address, and sent her an e-mail asking if she wanted to come to his house for a tutoring session the next Monday. She didn't reply, so he sent 2 more before she blocked him.

Now, I may be old fashioned, but isn't it courteous to at least ask a girl for her phone number or permission to add her on Facebook/e-mail her before just blithely harassing her? Since when has stalking been romantic?

Two words: Stephenie Meyer.
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Altáriël of Dorthonion
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Staged or not, it was gag worthy. Jeesh. I feel embarrassed for him.
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