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So this is a reality check; it contains some honesty you probably won't find as much here because Hatrackers are too nice.

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Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | 

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I'm actually rather bewildered why people are so intent on believing Bush was something remarkable after September 11. Exactly what did he do? A trained monkey would have known to declare war on Afghanistan for harboring Osama bin Laden.

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Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | 

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Eddie, if you don't stop with the angst and melodrama, I'm going to post those pictures of your beautiful mug you sent me a few weeks ago.

Interesting landmark. It's a side of you I rarely see. Odd, because I've felt the same way. I was going to be the biggest thing since the digital watch--I was going to take the world by storm and force people to know who I was.

And I told myself that my attutide would never change. That I'd set my mind and become what my 17-yeal-old self wanted to be or die trying. I saw people who looked as if they had given up because life was too hard, and I vowed that I'd not go so easily. And yet I found myself changing.

I found that no matter how much space we place between "want" and "need", they're really synonyms.

Everything I "wanted" to do was just something I needed to do to to meet my, or someone else's, expectations. And at some point in the ensuing breakdown I found a beauty in simplicity.

Not that you'll definitely have any sort of life-altering epiphanies, but if you start resenting yourself for the changes you make rather than embrace the what you may or may not see as growth, next thing you know, you'll paint your hair and fingernails black and be sitting in a dark apartment listening to emo and complaining about The Man.

But what do I know? No more than anyone else. I'm just a 24 year old nobody who, for some reason, is sitting up drunk-off-his-arse at 3:30 in the morning posting at an internet forum.

But I'm happy. And most of the time I talk to you, you seem to be, too.

And I should be thanking you for all those frantic IMs pleading for help on an essay. Codgers like me enjoy few things more than a chance to strut a little of our experience.

So, yeah. I'm going to pass out now. I'll IM you as the rest of what I was going to say puts itself into coherent sentences.

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That Man is a Success
Who has lived well,
laughed often and loved much;
Who has gained the respect of intelligent men
and the love of children;
Who has filled his niche
and accomplished his task;
Who leaves the world better than he found it,
whether by improved poppy, a perfect poem,
or a rescued soul;
Who never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty
or failed to express it.
Who looked for the best in others
and gave the best he had.

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Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | 

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I thought my life was over at seventeen, too. Heck, I'd already dropped out of college by then.

I'll be thirty next year, and I can't say that I feel like my life's even particularly started; I've come to feel like I'm on the cusp of finally being where I want to be.

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Me, too! (Except that thing about being thirty. )

Posts: 7600 | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | 

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Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades. A mode of conduct, a standard of courage, discipline, fortitude, and integrity can do a great deal to make a woman beautiful.

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Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | 

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We don't have a king and so young men have that drive to rise in the order knowing no ceiling, only to be harnessed by the emasculating net of civilization.

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Posts: 3564 | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | 

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Thus, belatedly, I realized that the obvious does not have to be stated, yet I could still be supportive while perhaps giving constructive criticism.

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Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | 

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Student Body

New York is one of the most diverse cities in the world and that doesn’t exclude the student body of NYU. “Everyone here is very unique—some you love, some you hate.� Students are individualistic and passionate, “but somehow this manages to bond us all,� and students create close friendships, writes one senior musical theater major. “People are cool and unique,� adds a sophomore. Students are “tolerant and open-minded� and develop neighborly relationships. Students see their peers as adventurous and focused, which “makes for some really interesting people.� A junior English major advises, “If you’re looking for an accepting community, this is it.� If students have any complaints, it is that their peers are sometimes apathetic about campus life, and “as a result, school spirit is negligible.� Still, it’s unlikely that anyone looking for a diverse educational experience will easily find one that surpasses the one found at NYU.

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Academics

Most colleges would be honored to have a single world-renowned academic department. Then again, most aren’t New York University. The programs at NYU’s Stern School of Business and the Tisch School of the Arts are among the best undergraduate programs in the country. NYU professors are “very intelligent, informed, and open-minded.� They are both “witty� and “well-prepared� and, considering that many of them live in the city, “tend to be very accessible,� though some students complain that, because of the university’s size, profs occasionally get “lost in the crowd.� Explains one student, “They are helpful in guiding students . . . to careers, internships, grad school programs, good restaurants, movies, hairdressers, and all the best deals that New York City has to offer.� Undergrads also appreciate the fact that professors are often the authors of the textbooks used in class. A senior broadcast journalism major writes that though he harbors “a lifelong hatred towards school and education, I’ve enjoyed learning here.� Students not interested in an academic culture need not apply since, according to one junior, “as a freshman, I began doing work people don’t touch until grad school.� Students get practice as the vociferous liberals they are when dealing with the administration, as they must be “persistent and demanding� in order to get things done. Students rave about online registration, though some complain that upper-level classes close too quickly, “often with the speed of Japan’s bullet train.�

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Campus Life

“What do we do for fun?� a senior theater major asks. “We do New York.� While studies are undeniably important, NYU is located in the heart of downtown Manhattan’s Greenwich Village, within shouting distance of hundreds of restaurants, theaters, clubs, and other cultural opportunities. Guess what that means. “Life here is never dull or routine,� a junior politics major writes, and “no student can say that she is bored.� Students who wish to commune with nature spend time bike riding or inline skating in Central Park. Sports fans not only attend college basketball games on campus (the university’s Division III women’s basketball team is among the best in the nation), but can also choose from any of the city’s professional baseball, basketball, football, and hockey teams. Numerous museums and theaters provide more cultural stimulation than a student can possibly absorb in four years. The city’s extensive concert scene assures that both local and national acts can be found somewhere every night of the year. Though there are plenty of on-campus activities, students downplay their importance because of the numerous off-campus opportunities. The lack of a defined campus allows the school to become a part of the city, which, in turn, allows students to smoothly coexist with fellow city dwellers. The tension between towns and campuses that are evident at other universities are nowhere to be found at NYU. While on-campus housing is expensive, the “apartment-style dorms� are often looked upon wistfully by those who end up in almost-as-costly off-campus housing.

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National Ratings

#14 Diverse Student Population
#1 Gay Community Accepted
#17 Great College Theater
#9 Intercollegiate Sports Unpopular or Nonexistent
#9 Nobody Plays Intramural Sports
#13 Lots of Hard Liquor
#18 Party Schools
#18 Reefer Madness
#17 Birkenstock-Wearing, Tree-Hugging, Clove-Smoking Vegetarians
#1 Great College Towns

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Student Body

Students’ bodies might be a more apt description of what’s on a UCSBer’s mind a good portion of the time. “Hot chicks�? Got ‘em. “Good looking guys?� That too. This isn’t to say students at Santa Barbara don’t appreciate their peers’ “open-mindedness� and “easy-going, laid-back� personalities, but at UCSB a premium seems to be placed on being nice looking, too. Some students complain about the amount of navel gazing (prettily pierced, of course) that goes on at the U.: “They are largely selfish and unmotivated, except to get what they want,� writes a senior; while a junior notes that “many don’t want to go outside of their own bubble.� Despite some complaints about diversity (“white is over-represented,� notes a senior) and substance use (“lots of pot smokers/alcoholics�), many UCSB students remark that their fellow students are “the most open-minded anywhere.�

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Academics

“I came to this school expecting beer, beaches, and babes,� writes a sophomore. “I was thrilled to find exceptional teachers; eager, intellectual students—and beer, beaches, and babes!� While many of its undergrads did choose this “beautiful,� “laid-back� state school for reasons not quite academic (“sun,� “beach,� “girls/guys,� and “location� seem to be the decisive factors), the University of California at Santa Barbara, with its “friendly people,� “strong liberal faculty� and excellent programs in the sciences and math—as well as in foreign languages, English, theater, and writing—make the school a good choice for the sociable student looking for a solid liberal arts education. Faculty gets high marks all around, and though there’s no avoiding a couple of duds once in a while, UCSB students seem to take all things in stride. A first-year explains: “Most of my professors have been interesting, informative, and inspiring. Of course, there have been a few who have lulled me to sleep better than any soft bed I have ever encountered. In general, though, they get an A+—even if I wasn’t reciprocated with the same grade.� Administrators, too, are well liked—one senior claims that they seem “even stonier than the students�—and work hard to provide resources and services for UCSB’s traditional and nontraditional students. (However, the school could stand to improve its academic counseling and computer facilities, say undergrads.) Basically, academic success at UCSB “all depends on your approach,� concludes a wise freshman. “If you are motivated and determined, you will get the classes you want and the information and resources you need. If you sit around at the beach and just expect to get into all your classes, you will be ‘watching the waves’ for a while.�

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Campus Life

“UCSB is the greatest place on earth. Nowhere else in the country can you get a college experience like here. Isla Vista is like Disneyland for 20-year-olds.� High praise coming from southern California, the land of fun and sun. UCSB has something of a reputation for taking the good life seriously—it’s the “University of Casual Sex and Beer,� joke undergrads—and the bustling, upscale communities of Isla Vista and Santa Barbara only serve to heighten the experience. “It’s a very big party school,� writes a second-year, “similar to a Bourbon Street atmosphere.� Many students claim that they spend the first few years “trying to find a balance between academics and social life,� not an easy task when you’ve got the beach, surfing, hiking, barbecues, football, Frisbee golf, parties, and downtown S.B. (not to mention L.A. in an hour and a half) luring you away. Of course, not everyone is so enamored of the outdoorsy, party-hearty culture; some students make it their business to get away, to “Vegas, L.A., San Diego,� all within a day’s drive of campus. Still, it’s hard to complain when the only campus improvement one freshman could think of is “moving sidewalks with back massage specialists everywhere.�

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National Ratings

#16 Class Discussions Rare
#19 Great College Newspaper
#17 Lots of Beer
#20 Party Schools
#17 Reefer Madness

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Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | 

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There is no sweeter joy than that of knowing you can make others do what you want

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Posts: 10177 | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | 

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If I go to UCSB, I'm effectively writing off any real hope of prestige in my undergraduate degree, as well as slimming my chances of a prestigious graduate degree (in relation to my chances from NYU).

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Posts: 959 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | 

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it won't prevent you from getting into any grad school as long as you've got the grades to back it up.

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Posts: 3956 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | 

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serving no purpose but consumption of the resources of the world and reproduction with another historically worthless bitch

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Posts: 1034 | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | 

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For those who don't follow my life events, I've been accepted to both NYU and UCSB (and waitlisted by BC, but that's a ridiculously unlikely shot). I'm torn between the two. NYU's prestigious, absolutely brilliant in any field I could possibly go into (namely English, literature, economics, business, political science, et. all), and in the middle of goddamn New York City. If I'm ever to accomplish anything with my life, NYU on my resume will almost certainly be a big boost in my attaining its achievement -- not only for the college's prestige, but also for the obscene number of connections I can make in NYC what with internships at Wall Street or hookers in Time Square. The latter will particularly help me should I ever go out to DC -- I'll need experience with whores if I'm to deal with Republicans. But yeah, NYU's everything I could want in a university. Unfortunately, it's not only impossibly expensive ($40k per year), it's also ridiculously high-pressure, or so I hear -- and I don't do well under pressure. Well, granted, I don't generally operate at all except under pressure, but I'm also fairly miserable when I'm forced to attain more with my life than fun and games -- add this to my general angsty gotta-do-something-with-my-life-before-I-shuffle-off-this-mortal-coil sentiment, and you got one confused-ass Mexican gringo.

UCSB's benefits aren't quite the polar opposite of NYU's perks, but they're not far from it. Of course UCSB's very prestigious in its own right, and half the cost of NYU (at a current $20k, though with probable cost increases in the future thanks to Ahnuld's education budget cuts) but it has all of, what, three Nobel laureates to boast of? Granted, I may stand a strong chance of transferring to Berkeley after two years, but then I'd just have the same problem then as I do now -- a choice between a difficult but powerful university and a laid-back, easygoing college. I don't intend to demean UCSB -- it really is excellent -- but it's not in the same tier as Berkeley or NYU.

But it's also fun. A ridiculous amount of fun. If I go there, I'll be right next to the beach, and I have a standing offer from my father out in Redlands to buy a kayak from his boss for cheap, should I choose to attend the place. Don't ask me why a guy in Redlands would have a kayak. But damn. UCSB's one hell of a four-year party. Isla Vista is populated by the most gorgeous women I've ever seen. I can learn to surf. I can take lonely romantic moonlit walks along the beach. I can make love on the moonlit beach. I can kayak out alone in the moonlight. There's a whole crapload of things I can do regarding moonlight and that beach should I choose to go to the damn place.

But do I want to? UCSB's not shameful, at all, but it won't draw the admiration an NYU degree would. There are no connections to be made, save those to rich blonde daddy's girls -- while they'll no doubt be entertaining while they last, I should at least pretend to think of the long-term ramifications of my B.A. For example, if I go to NYU, I have a ridiculously strong chance of making it into Stern business school, one of the, what is it, top ten business schools in the country? Just ridiculous. It's an important consideration to take into account -- but then, am I even going to have a business career? The only skill I'm half-talented in is writing, and even then, I'm not Melville reborn. NYU's got strong programs for that, too, of course -- and I could always apply for law school upon graduating NYU undergrad with a strong chance of acceptance thanks to my alma mater -- but, eh. I've no idea what I want to do with my life.

Increasingly, I find myself dreaming of deferring admission. I of course stand to risk what financial aid my mother's willing to offer me, but then, I'm not her puppet. She hasn't been my mother and I haven't been her son for years -- if she wants to believe she's a good person by paying for whatever percentage of my college tuition, I'm fine with it, but I'm nowhere near delusional enough to believe she's paying for my sake over her own. I need her money, but not at the cost of my pride and autonomy -- worse comes to worst, I'll shoulder the burden myself.

No. The more I think about it, the more I realize I don't know what I want to do with my life. I've no idea what I'm good at, and even less knowledge of what I enjoy. I need to experience life before I train for a professional career for it. I risk god knows how many thousands of dollars if I train for a profession I come to hate. No. I can't gamble. I'll register at both universities, and defer admission at both -- one year from today, I'll choose whichever one is more appropriate for me as befits my newfound experience.

I have a standing fantasy of reliving Melville's life. The chance of commercial whaling is of course beyond me -- or is it? -- but there's no reason why I can't take on a job as a fisherman for a season. Heh, at least not beyond my impossible seasickness -- but that'll go away as I gain my sea legs. I can extend my summer bike tour, and maybe tap DC and run a quick detour through the South to hit New Orleans and Pearce and etceteras. I can visit New Zealand, maybe -- maybe work my way there on a freighter or something.

Hmm. I'm a strong young man, I shouldn't have too much trouble getting employment as manual labor. And if I get a boss who's willing to tolerate my initial seasickness for two weeks, I may yet get a chance to live that dream.

Of course, heh, this takes away from my just-ended dream job of a counter man at Subway -- and I do so hate to take away from the glamour of my resume. Heh. I can do all the romantic crap I've wanted to do in this coming year. Why not? I have no standing commitments. I have nobody worth staying for, nor any responsibilities I'd leave unfulfilled. I have so little time and so much less youth -- why not live life to its fullest while I have the chance? I doubt I'll make much money, but then, this isn't about money. This is about getting horribly sick on a boat. This is about exploration of the wide world, come hell and high water. This is about giving my life a shot at petty romance before it settles into the tired rhythm of sitcoms and car repair that so characterizes and caricaturizes modern American life. This is about knowing happiness and discovering satisfaction. This is about what remnants of my soul I haven't yet sold.

Goddammit. This is about what few high points in my life I'll ever have.

I need to know what I can do before I decide who I'll become. I need money for college in any case -- no job I'm experienced for will pay much, but it'll pay something. And the money's secondary, anyway, to the importance of life experience in my underlived universe.

Damn. So am I decided? Am I going to defer admission and become a fisherman, of all possible jobs? There's any number of easier jobs available I can think of offhand, but none with the excitement or romance of the sea -- goddamn, I must read Melville too much. Why am I so in love with this idea? I'm a terrible seaman, all dirty jokes aside. I get sick in goddamn powerboat cruises around a bay. And I'll go stir-crazy on a tiny boat with nowhere to go and less to do, between my no doubt to-be-constant barfing periods. But heh. Jesus. It's a must. I'll do it.

This means travelling light. This means I can't have my computer, nor anything of actual value -- I'll be forced to live on essentially the same provisions I have for my bike trip. Somewhere to sleep, clothes to wear, a journal, and books -- but no television but that provided by someone else. No Internet. No car. Probably rare meals but those I filch from the catches. Will I have enough money to rent an apartment? Will I do this at all? The more I think about it, the crazier it becomes -- heh. Good.

Let's test my mettle.

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Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged |