Joran looked up at the mighty fortress. Finally, after months of traveling he had arrived at Meluntari – the wizard’s keep. The gates opened silently upon his arrival and he rode warily into the courtyard. Where was everyone? he thought to himself.

I think that the problem is that as it stands, this opening assumes the reader already knows a great deal about Joran, Meluntari, Terantulus, and what is going on amongst them.

And of course, we know nothing at all but what we're told. I'm reading these lines and some part of me decides that since I'm not already an initiate, I wouldn't "get" the story.

Where S-6 complained of not getting enough of the character's feelings up front, I would disagree. I think the problem is that we get only his feelings, not any understanding of the rational behind them. Everything leaves me asking why. Why has Joran come to Meluntari? Why do the gates open silently? Why does he ride into the courtyard warily? Why does he wonder where everyone is?

The questions just continue...and I am genuinely helpless before them all. Has Joran come to Meluntari as friend or enemy, champion or supplicant? Do the gates open to lure him to his doom or to welcome him...or perhaps simply because they open to any traveller? Is he wary of entering because the wizard is his enemy, or because his horse might damage the paving, or because the sky is green?

I agree with Survivor, that this story assumes we know what's going on, but I think this answer requires a little more explanation. I'm going to do a line-by-line here, and I hope you take this in the suggestive light it was meant in.

"Joran looked up at the mighty fortress."
--Didn't send any alarm bells tripping right up front, but also didn't grab me. From this sentence I know two things: There is a guy named John and he is looking at a fortress. "mighty" as a descriptor, does very little to add to anything. Fortresses can be mighty in too many different ways. Now, not as a rule, but more as a guideline, I don't like to use words like "looked" in first sentences. (And I minimize their use elsewhere.) They create an immediate distance between the reader and the POV character....putting us in mind of an omniscient narrator or, if you do go limited (you haven't violated anything explicitly yet) it makes the distance between us and their head immense. I never think "I am looking at the teddy bear on top of my desk." I think "There is a teddy bear on top of my desk."

"Finally, after months of traveling he had arrived at Meluntari – the wizard’s keep."

Now we know John had been travelling for months and that he has arrived at a wizard's fortress. The name is inconsequential right now, I probably won't even file it away for later until I feel some more significance. But the why's begin to swarm in, as Survivor suggested, already in sentence 2, and they are not pleasant why's. My personal reaction, before reading the other posts, was that we had started this story at the end of his journey for some reason, rather than at the beginning.

"The gates opened silently upon his arrival and he rode warily into the courtyard. Where was everyone? he thought to himself."

This was, in my opinion, a missed opportunity. An opening cannot rely on our knowledge of backstory, because we don't have any. Even in a fantasy world, where most readers can visualize the hero's quest and the concept of a wizard's keep, we need something to get us to *this* story. This comes in the form of conflict (not action). This means a character must feel, and be able to communicate quickly, emotions we can relate to such as love, lust, loss, despair, hatred, anger, etc. The question seemed silly here. First of all, in limited third person just get the "he thought to himself" it's not needed. But more than that....in what tone was the question meant? Curiosity? Panic? Fear? Was I assumed he was expecting someone to be there but how bad is it that no one was there? I did not find the question to be the best way of approaching the situation. Let me give you a couple examples:

The gates opened and John rode in. A pungent odor overwhelmed him, causing his eyes to water. He looked around the empty courtyard through bleary eyes, seeking signs of habiation, but finding none.

vs.

The gates opened and John rode in. Silence echoed with every hoofbeat as he traversed the cobbled street, searching for a familiar face, or any face at all.

I hope that the first version gave you the impression that everyone was dead, and the second that everyone was missing, but do you see my point? From your version, I don't know what you meant, and even in the first paragrap there are boundless opportunities to tell us more.

"Inside the courtyard, the large iron bound doors to the main keep were open."

Onc again, was he surprised by this? Should they have been open?

"He tied his horse to a wooden rail and entered."

All right...

"Terantulus himself stood awaiting his arrival – already wearing his ceremonial robes."

The first time I read this I thought Teramulus was just another thing in the keep...I read right past it without blinking or thinking this was a person.

"Just the sight of the wizard made his heart beat like a frightened lamb."

This has already gotten comments and I agree...but even more, why are we supposed to be afraid of this guy? Emotions, in my opinion, stem from some understanding, some grounding in a situation. If I know your father has just died, I will understand why you are crying and sympathize. If you suddenly rage out against a random man walking down the street I'll think you're cuckoo until you tell me he killed your father.

**********

So, to sum up, give us hints about what's going on....BIG hints. In fact, if you want to draw the opening out another paragraph, so long as you've got emotions and descriptions in there, I'll stick with you. If I think everyone in a keep is dead, or if I'm curious where they mysteriously vanished to, I'll keep reading a few more paragraphs for the next bit. But right now all I see is a puppet named John floating through an empty fortress (that for all I know never had peopole in it) and meeting a man with a name that does not strike terror in my heart, although the author sped up John's heart pretty good.