I've been going through some old stuff. This is a fantasy (not terribly) short story of 17k words. Readers are needed so let me know if you can take a look.

Thanks
R

quote:

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Of course, Shan reflected later on, if he’d had any sense he would have left her there in the wreckage of the carriage. He would have turned away and kept on walking and would never have become involved in the politics and vagaries of the Holters’ world.

But Shan’ith Al-Fallion was not a man who could abandon anyone in trouble. Evidence was given in the form of the once starving wolf cub who was now grown into the silver beast padding at his side. Her breath misted the air, her eyes dubious as to his intent, standing there, staring at the shattered contraption of men.

"Hush Anala," he said on a breath. "I’ll just take a look. That’s all."

They were all dead but for the girl and she wouldn’t be long in joining them. He could see the marks of the Snow Child in her lips and her skin. As he approached warily, she never moved. The body of a second girl had been thrown over her, pinning her down. This one was dead, her neck twisted at an unnatural angle.

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That middle paragraph feels like a break away from the main action, though. And the first line is terrible, "Of course," and "later on," just don't do a first line any favors. The third paragraph illustrates "early RFL" as well, it lacks clarity in places.

It's on the way.