Logan cringed as a classmates foot shifted on the carpet. He looked around to see if anyone else did likewise. No one noticed. They couldn't hear such small sounds – not the way he could.

They couldn't hear anything: the terrarium grass outside his classroom’s south wall that rustled in the artificially generated wind to brush up against the metal of the building, or the electricity buzzing in the wiring of the bell system – anxious to run free when the bell timer hit zero – none of his classmates could register those noises.

He went to scratch his forearm and curled his fingers back to refrain. Don’t want to scratch yourself deaf, he thought. Instead, he reached for the small spray bottle on his desk, and gave his arm a couple sprits. The skin went numb and the itch subsided. Logan heard bewildered looks from several of his classmates as he put the bottle back on his desk and turned the dial up on the sound dampening unit fastened around his wrist to block out their stares.

[This message has been edited by Ryan Brotman (edited February 15, 2005).]

I am very curious about what this place is. I think the use of the word terrarium is particularly intriguing.

One small nit for me - I was a little confused by the first line. At first I though they were squaring off for a fight or something. It was not until the 3rd line that it made sense. I think these are the reasons it bothered me.

Consider maybe letting us know why he cringed a little sooner.
Is it important that we know Paul’s foot was the one that shifted? If not, maybe drop his name for clarity sake, letting Logan stand alone in the first sentence.
Why not throw in a clue to their immediate environment by describing where this carpet is. Maybe something like –

Logan cringed at the sound of a foot shifting on the classroom carpet. He looked around to see if anyone else did likewise.

For what it’s worth.

quote:

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Logan heard bewildered looks from several of his classmates

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