posted
730 words, general fiction, looking for a few readers. I already got some comments on a previous version, but this has been edited and changed since the flash challenge, and I'd like to check that it works in the new form.
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Imogene stuck out her tongue. "Of course I will. I'm not scared."
Jamie shook her head resolutely. "No, you can't. You're too short. They won't let you on the ride unless you head is higher than the alligator."
"I'm taller than any ol' alligator." Imogene's pig tails stuck out with the indignity of such a presumption on Jamie's part. Imogene was Gizmo Girl, and Gizmo Girl would never be beaten by an alligator. "Anyway, why wouldn't they let a super hero on the roller coaster."
You only tell the reader what is being spoken about in the last line or two, until then I had no idea what they were talking about and it made no sense. As a result I was already annoyed by the time I found out.
Also 'Imogene'...do you really mean that spelling?
posted
What's wrong with Imogene? Sure, it's a little obscure, but I like it. More so now that I've googled it and found out that it means "image." Kinda fitting for a little girl who sees herself as a super hero. Posts: 270 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
I have never seen Imogen -- I have only ever seen Imogene. I've pronounced it gene for as long as I can remember -- haven't heard anybody say gen.
Quick googling confirms that there are "Jean" Imogenes out there.
Though it's not a common name, is it? I saw it in a book ("No More Cornflakes" maybe? or was that the Hortense book? There were cousins and bubble gum wrappers, and the book started with her following strangers along a New York sidewalk. Yeah, I'ma shut up now.).
posted
Imogene is okay. Emogen is okay. Emogene is okay too.
Parents have wildy varying tastes for naming babies and there are so many permutations. Nevertheless Imogen is most common. Like I said I dont think it matters.
I remember a girl a school whose name was Penelope, her family pronounce it PennyLope. Who cares really.
Call the character Imma-Djinn as far as I am concerned. I like that better.
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