posted
950 words, humor, I would like full critiques (but I'll take other comments too).
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Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
Oh, I don't have to say that any more? OK. Well, here's what happened. Friday night I met this really hot girl at a party over on Jefferson Street. No, wrong sin. I wish! Just kidding, Father.
Anyway, she was so freaking amazing. I mean, she was so slim, and her body was perfect. I just had to meet her. Do you ever see the kind of girl that just makes you think, this one's it? This is the one I've got to have?
I guess not. She was talking to this really big guy -- looked like a football player on steroids -- and I thought I'd just see when she stepped away from him, and move in. I work better without competition.
posted
I'd like to take a look at it if you can give me a few days. I'm overloaded right now with critiques, but yours looks fun.
Posts: 2026 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
ill read it, should be able to get you a quick turn around too, (gotta love that, right) but it will be my first offical critique, so, who knows Posts: 24 | Registered: Jun 2005
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