“MURDER IN THE NIGHT!” The town crier announced to the early morning crowd. He stepped to the corner of the dirt crossroads that was the main intersection of the small frontier town and waited for the people to gather near. Men and women gathered around the crier to hear the full accounting of the news he had to give.
Apparently Bryan Harper, a wealthy merchant who ran most of the wagon trains and the general store, had been killed in his home by a Blade Slinger. His young wife, Rose Harper, was now a widow and was offering a tidy sum as reward for finding out who was responsible.
Tom Jarvis was having his morning cup of coffee at a little shop there on the same corner. It was a strange place that served

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I didn't like the second paragraph. I'd rather hear the town crier's actual speech than the summary, which was blad and rushed and looks as if you're just in too much of a hurry to get the set-up out of the way and tell the rest of the story.

Tom Jarvis was having his morning cup of coffee at a unique little shop that served that and little sweet breads and pastries. He had just finished solving a case involving a stolen jeweled bird and was wondering what his next case would end up being. He was just considering the possibility of taking a little break from work when he noticed a commotion out on the corner. The Town Crier was standing on his little platform at the corner of the two main roads in town just outside the coffee shop waiting for the people to gather round. Since he could see and hear everything from his window seat he sat and watched as wizards, elves, humans, dwarves and the occasional half-orc crowded around to hear the news of the morning.
“MURDER IN THE NIGHT,” the man announced in a clear

Note from Kathleen: Sorry, rules are rules.

I think you just need to really pare down the remainder of it and you'll be much happier with the impact. You do set the story well though, perhaps just a bit too much description.