I've been working on a fantasy book about elemental magic users for a good long while now, probably running on four years, but in its third revision, I can't shake the feeling that my main character's motivation seems weak or unrealistic. The book starts with him and his brother battling in an effort to save the town, which ultimately boils down to his brother sacrificing his life. My main character, age 10, blames himself for his brother's death and the deaths of the other people who died because he feels he wasn't strong enough to protect them. Plus, he is now alone in the world as his parents are both gone and has no more siblings. So, this motivates him to never let another person die on his account again by training to become a great swordsman. Revenge really doesn't play a role until later when the attackers return because he does blame himself and not them, and I really felt that the Avenging-My-(insert relative) plot was a little played out. His story spans about six years from 10 until 16.
I guess my questions are these: Is his current motivation strong enough to keep him, a 10-year-old, going for six years (three of which pass in a few sentences)? Is it unrealistic for an individual to not seek revenge in this context? Does his motivation in of itself seem weak or misguided? Do I need to provide a little more plot information?
Thanks for any help I can get with this very troublesome problem.
[This message has been edited by Mystic (edited October 05, 2006).]
posted
Hey If something's bugging you then it may be reflected in the writing. Because you are unclear/unconvinced, then the character may seem unclear or unconvincing.
We may need more of an idea of what transpires to make a call like the one you're asking for here.
In my humble opinion I think a ten-year-old would be unlikely to act/feel this way UNLESS someone said it to him that made him see it that way.
ie He's crying over his dead family and someone says 'You know, they only found where you guys were hiding 'cos they heard you blubbering.'
or
'You know your family couldn't flee because YOU were too small and too sick...' or something like that.
[This message has been edited by hoptoad (edited October 05, 2006).]
posted
I agree. Need more information. You haven't told us anything about what they were saving the town from. Invaders from the next province? Famine because someone angered the gods? The king's decree on population control?
quote:blames himself ... because he feels he wasn't strong enough to protect them
How could a ten year-old be strong enough to save people from dying? Why does he think this should have been possible? Does he have special powers?
The believability of his motivation will also depend on his natural personality and how he was before this happened. His place in the pecking order. His relationship with his family and the town. Etc. If he was a shy kid with low self-esteem, then it would be easy for someone to make him feel guilty. If he was arrogant and thought he was invincible, it would be a kick in the ego to find out that no, he really can't save everybody. Those are just examples - you see how his character will affect his motivation.
[This message has been edited by sojoyful (edited October 05, 2006).]
posted
Mystic: I would expect the motivations of a 10 year old to grow deeper as he grew older. I'd also expect the training would give him new insights. The MC in _Way Of The Peaceful Warrior_ makes this kind of journey via martial arts. It's a wonderful book, BTW. It sounds like you have not drafted/outlined his changes, yet his changes may be the heart of the book.
Be sure to check out the following link on the forum.
posted
I figured I didn't include enough information. Well, my main character, Jake, is a water element magic user just like his brother. His brother is a prodigy because he was able to join the elite magic user group known as the Mystic Guard at the age of eleven, seven years younger than anyone else. Well, now, he is eighteen and Captain of his city's Guard and has allowed Jake to be a Junior Guardsman. So, now both boys are in charge of protecting the city from trouble. The attack on the town is actually one of the mysteries of the book because the entire country came under attack for that one night before the enemy either fell or left on their own. Later, it is revealed the enemy is a group known as the Hunters who kill other magic users to gain their power and they used the attack to kidnap a little girl capable of reviving their dead leader. Anyway, Jake's brother uses a great deal of energy to destroy 500 enemy robots (he is a prodigy) and then he must battle to kill the Hunter leading this group. Jake tries to step him, but is easily defeated. Realizing he can't defeat the Hunter and live, Jake's brother uses a sacrificial attack to kill himself and the Hunter. Jake is supposed to feel like had he been stronger, then maybe his brother would not have done what he did and died. Plus, his mother was killed in the same way trying to protect their family He was fairly arrogant about his powers and wanted only to show that he was better than his brother, but now he wants to become more powerful to protect the few people that are left in his life.
Posts: 162 | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
I find it plausible (at least, if it's written to make it sound plausible!). Not so much if he consciously thinks, "I must be strong so that nobody else is killed on my watch," but if he has conflicting and complimentary emotions:
shame that he couldn't do anything fear that someone might come and do something similar again anger which makes him want to take violent action in response guilt because he should have already been a swordsman (yeah, at the age of 10, but children do feel guilty this way); survivor guilt sadness, for obvious reasons a feeling of power because now he can kick butt a little dark joy -- maybe he's ready to kick butt to feel even more powerful a lack of joy because he has to be controlled and wary a grudge against not just the bad guys but the universe that let it happen, and the people whose parents *didn't* get killed
Childhood vows are a powerful thing. Landmark Forum (I don't recommend it, but I do quote it) says, many of us are living out such vows -- but does it really make sense to organize your life around the decision of an upset 6-year-old?
If you want to make it plausible that he didn't seek vengeance at 10, just have a surviving adult stop him -- or better yet, let him be bitterly ashamed that he stopped himself knowing full well that if he'd tried, he'd be dead now.
It also struck me that if Avenging My Family is dull, we can have MC be passionately dedicated to NOT seeking revenge (because dear old Dad or somebody was such a man of peace), and when the bad guys return and he fights them he feels like he's betraying Dad's principles.
posted
Mystic, it might be a bit of advanced thinking for a 10 year old. I could see a 14-16 year old having those doubts, thoughts because that is part of what he is going through generally as a result of his age.
If you need to keep the MC that young you may want to focus on his survivor guilt. People who survive tragic accidents generally feel guilty because they survived and their freinds, parents, siblings, whoever, didn't. In this case Jake can also be wrestling with his brother's sacrifice. Why did he have to do that? It should have been me. He's the one they all look up to. The fact that his mother died sacrificing herself for him is only going to add to the guilt.
This might work if you show us how arrogant/proficient he is before the attack. Maybe Jake is working to beat his brother's record at being the youngest admitted and has a good chance of doing it. Jake certainly needs to believe there was a reasonable chance that he could defeat the Hunter. So when Jake is defeated and his brother makes the ultimate sacrifice, there is some basis behind what Jake feels (I let everyone down). Maybe he feels like the village is shunning him (for lettting them down and letting his brother die) when they are just trying to give him time to grieve.
That guilt could make him press himself further than reasonable, take crazy risks to "redeem" himself in his own eyes.
I'd suggest doing some research on survivor guilt. It might help clarify his motives.
posted
Thanks you guys! This is why I asked for help because I have been with this story for so long and have not been able to look at my story with an objective eye. The funny thing, kings_falcon, I actually have him think something like that as he pays his respects to his brother's grave. I think I will take your advice though because I see now that maybe a 13-14 year old would be thinking more about his future and would have the more developed thoughts that I want him to have.
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posted
Good luck with it Mystic. If you need another set of eyes, I'd be happy to volunteer. While I'm not quick in returning crits, I am thorough. Posts: 1210 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
I really wish I could recall the research source. A few years ago I read that "saving the family" is actually a very early common impulse, occuring well before age 10. The research stuck in my mind because when I was maybe 7, I had my first recurring dream, which I thought about then and still remember now, though it's fuzzy. (It was cartoon-like, a vision of my family looking over a cliff with a gorilla coming at us from behind. I think all I could do was warn my parents, but my dream-self dreamed of saving us all, of being the hero.)
Thinking about it now, it makes sense. The age of reason, of grasping cause-and-effect, coincides with the understanding, with or without reflection, that we make a difference in the lives of those around us.
There's always Piaget as a beginning point for basic research into child development, or the kid down the street.
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