The woman’s grey eyes locked onto John and he froze. He had been standing still beside an old oak tree transfixed on the scene. The man savagely beating her seemed oblivious to anything and John thought he had escaped notice – but when her eyes found him, guilt pierced his frightened mind. The sickening snap of her neck and her desperate pleas for help danced on his nerves. John realized that he had just witnessed the brutal murder of a young woman and he didn’t lift a finger to help. John decided to run, and he stopped only when he reached his apartment door.
Breathlessly, John charged through his door and locked it securely. He walked on shaky legs to his favorite chair and flopped onto it. John grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills

[This message has been edited by TMan1969 (edited December 23, 2006).]

[This message has been edited by TMan1969 (edited December 24, 2006).]

[This message has been edited by TMan1969 (edited December 24, 2006).]

This would be fixed by something like

John heard the scream as soon as he parked outside his apartment.

quote:

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The man hammered at her with such mindless abandon that he was unlikely aware of anything else, let alone John –

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It may not be as succinct, but it spends a bit more time on the actual beating so the reader can absorb it. But that may not work for you or the story. Just my two cents.

Interesting hook though, I’d certainly read on.