Goodness, but it's been ages since I've put anything up here.

I'm looking for full critiques of this short piece.

I am not looking for feedback on the first 13 lines only. If you give such feedback here, I'll probably simply ignore it.

Behold, the first 13 lines:

quote:

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Ellen returned to the meadow the morning after the Midsummer Gathering. Barefoot, she took slow steps from the meadow's edge to its center, where a wide circle of ash and charred wood still smoldered, and thin wisps of smoke scented the air.

Nothing but a gentle south breeze stirred. Not even birds.

The whole of the town still slept, though it was long past sunrise. Any other morning would have been busy with the sounds of Brother Grace's sawmill, or the short yips of Brother Charity's sheepdogs moving the ewes to a new pasture. But on the day after Midsummer everything slept, as if it were drunk on the night's services and the power of God that dwelt in the meadow.

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Hard to say. Probably more mainstream than anything.