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SchamMan89
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In my novel series, Light in the Dark (previously called Dream Chasers in the first thirteen), the fantasy adventure takes place in a world somewhat like Middle Earth. There are dragons, gigantic glaciers next to huge volcanoes, forests of lightning and cities made of rubies, sapphires and emeralds. For all intents and purposes, the world IS in the distant past.

However, a major plot twist in the series is that this adventure actually takes place in the future. A scientist is the one that actually created everything on this planet and who manipulates everybody's minds. At that point, the series becomes a bit more sci-fi.

I have a viewpoint dilemma. I've started writing the novel in language very similar to today's (which would make sense after you've finished the series). However, I've been told by somebody in my early writings of the chapter that they don't like how the language doesn't seem old enough.

I am certainly more comfortable writing the way I currently am. But will it take readers out of the story and make it less believable?


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Zero
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I think you should stick with what is most appropriate with the story, and that is writing how you write. And if a few readers don't stick with you because you're writing too modernly... no major loss. Costs and benefits. The benefit is that you write a story you are more comfortable writing, and it is more appropriate to your setting, once you reveal what it actually is.
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lehollis
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Without a better grasp of the story, it's hard to say. I think maybe a bit of a hint at the beginning might help. Give the reader something so they can wonder if there is more here than they see. What that something is depend on what you feel works best for you.
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debhoag
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I tend to think of language as being more formal in societies where there is more need for ritual to smooth the way - dangerous political, social or financial situations seem to demand more formal language. In the day to day running of our society, for instance, everybody is reasonably safe to express their views, so the ways we communicate are rather relaxed. In societies in which careful adherence to specific social structures, or the need to let people know who and what you are is imperative, more formal language gives people the clues they need to treat you appropriately. I knew a social worker who spoke very well in the educational setting, but specialized in prisoner rehabilitation work. He used a very different language, but both types of speaking let people know right away where his knowledge base was. He was fun to watch.
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HuntGod
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If the scientist spent the time and energy to modify reality and the minds of it's inhabitants would he not spend the extra energy to also modify the tone and language of the masses to fit the setting?

What is the POV? If the voice/pov is a character that exists in the modified environment, then the tone voice should reflect that. If the pov/voice is someone outside the setting and knowledgeable of the change then a more contemporary voice would be appropriate. Also if the pov becomes aware through the course of the story you could validate a shift in voice from fantasy toned to contemporary.

Good luck...


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debhoag
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oh, good point, HuntGod. It would all really depend on how the scientist feels about language, grammar and setting, wouldn't it?
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Grant John
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I'd suggest you look at Terry Brooks and what sort of language he uses, as his world seems to have a similar history to yours. I am also writing a story based in the future, but when the world has been plunged into a second dark age, but my books are set right after so my characters grew up in the early 21 century and speak as such, rather than Brooks whose world 'ended' a long time before his original books. Though he has now gone back.

Hope this helps,

Grant


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SchamMan89
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Well, in this case, the scientist erased only the memories of the inhabitants. The inhabitants existed before and lived on this world before the scientist came. Even though he erased their memories, that doesn't mean he erased the way they speak. I remember learning in psychology that speech and memory are two separate parts of the brain.

The POV switches around between a young and talented yet arrogant swordsman and a young warrior in training that just can't get anything right. The latter is focused on much more throughout the series as he matures and faces trials that challenge his morals.


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lehollis
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That seems reasonable. Amnesiacs often retain things like dialect and accent, don't they?
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Robert Nowall
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Well, slang and such can change, and drastically, over even a short period of time. Your characters are likely to be exposed to a lot of things along the way. Given the postulates, I wouldn't think they'd talk and think in pseudo-medieval dialect, nor would they talk like modern-day rappers or high school students.

Possibly they'd pick up bits and pieces from both, and other groups as well.


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lehollis
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That could be interesting.

"Thou art uncouth, dude! Take thy hands off my babe with haste!"


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Wolfe_boy
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quote:
"Thou art uncouth, dude! Take thy hands off my babe with haste!"

Too much of this and I think you'll find yourself in very interesting Army of Darkness territory. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing (at least you're in good company) but might not be what you're really intending.

Jayson Merryfield

[This message has been edited by Wolfe_boy (edited September 17, 2007).]


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SchamMan89
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Haha, I hadn't thought of mixing up language. I wouldn't overuse it, but it could certainly make for some interesting dialect.
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HuntGod
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Great so every character talks like Keanu Reeves doing Shakespeare :-)

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debhoag
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I like Keanu Reeves, Shakespeare and Army of Darkness. Thou art the dudeliest!
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Pyre Dynasty
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Dude!
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