"Adam," the ghost of Asimov said, "use italics for flashbacks--it gives it dreamy quality. And, drift from normal text using ellipses (optional--but it shows a connection to the flashbackee). Of course, you'll need a line break to denote a break in time and place."

She had been wearing the same dress that day she went to the lake with Johnny. It was a warm day. She took off her sweater and left it by the bank. She remembered she had put the key in the pocket of the dress. But now, where was it? She plunged her hands into the pockets, feeling the fraying thread at the bottom pull dangerously, but they were empty, save for some pink-colored lint.

The "had been" or other had-forms of verbs help delineate the "back in the further past" parts of the flashback from the "simple past" that the rest of the story is presumably using (not everyone writes in simple past but that's the general standard.)

In my WIP, one of my characters has two flashbacks in the same scene. I remember finishing that particular scene one night, leaning back in my chair, and thinking to myself, "Well done!" Then, the very next day, I thought back on exactly what I did, and could have sworn I heard the Writing Faux Pas Express coming to run me over.

In reality, I have no idea whether or not this sort of thing will be frowned upon by a majority of readers; I suppose it's all in how I handle the scene in its entirety.

I do twice to out-of-sequence narration within a chapter, but both times there is a very specific reasoning. The first attempt I'm happy with, the second attempt not so much.

In the first instance, the narration is OOS only slightly: the chapter begins with a letter from one character to another ("Dear Baron, the issue is taken care of..."), then goes to separated scenes where we see the MC committing the actions he alluded to in the letter, then at the end we see the interaction between the writer of the letter and the recipient. In fact, I don't specify that the letter is being read after the events have occurred (and I suppose they don't have to), so this might not technically be OOS.

The second one, with which I'm considerably less happy as it reads now, is more of an instance of peaking behind the magician's curtain. A simplified summary of the events (in chapter N) runs as follows.

1. Character A realizes he has neglected Character B at the end of chapter N-1. Wants to do something really super awesome for her, tosses out several bad ideas b/c he wants it to be the best thing ever, then "realizes what he needs to do."
2. Chapter N starts from the POV of character B, and we see the results of the super duper awesome thing (hereafter referred to as the SDAT) that character A does. (These are kids sneaking out at night from separate schools, which is difficult to do.)
3. After super-duper event from POV of character B has concluded, (insert line break and appropriate notation to indicate break of continuity to the reader) we see the very lengthy, interesting, and important steps that character A went through to set up the SDAT. (Breaking out of his dormitory requires preparation, investigation, discovery, and several inspired ideas, as he has to figure out / break through several layers of magic-aided security).
4. One more "continuity break" and we see the conclusion of the evening, after the events of the SDAT, where something highly interesting occurs. (Turns out he didn't break out completely undetected).
   

I'm not thrilled with the way it reads, but I'm at a loss for a better way to arrange it. I feel the immediate jump from the end of chapter N-1 (thinking he needs to do something for her) to the start of chapter N (her seeing what he does) is very powerful. The setup is important in establishing the creative/subversive mind of the MC, however, and really shouldn't be left out. The MC doesn't realize he's been caught until he returns and finds a letter left on his bed by the teacher that caught him, and this establishes key traits about both the profess or and the MC.

Crank, Edward Douglas, any chance you would be up for a swap & discuss of the relevant chapter attempts? (or anyone else, for that matter). I think mine clocks in at something like 5000 to 7000 words.

** Edit - turns out UBB code in this doesn't allow the u and /u tags for underline.

[This message has been edited by micmcd (edited January 27, 2010).]

Basically, what I've done is taken events that happen a week before the first chapter and insert them into a flashback in Chapter 2 when one of my principal characters is drinking and thinking over the events of that week. The flashback does take up the majority of the chapter and ends when this character is brought back to the present by a knock on his door. I did not want to write these events into a prologue because they are too recent and pertinent to the tale I'm telling.

S!
S!

@ skadder
It's short for my long-time sig (back when I used to write letters on paper)

Success!
Steve!

It was something a writer friend of mine and I came up with to remind each other of what we should continually strive for.