It was the same dream again, but this was not like any other dream she had ever had. It was as if she had been pulled into another reality for the sounds of the insects and the feel of the grass under her feet and the smell of the wind seemed exactly the same. However, there were subtle differences that she couldn’t explain, a feeling that made her uneasy and wary all at the same time. Yet, she had been here before and the first time had frightened her for she had learnt the hard way that whatever happened to you in this place was also true in the waking world. She had told her father a tale of falling out of a tree to explain her broken arm, but she had the feeling that he hadn’t believed the tale as the truth. She sighed for she should be used to this after nearly six months,

This doesn't really fall into that category: your protag is just talking about a dream, but I'm still not sure I like it right out front. I think there's too much telling in this first paragraph.

The broken arm part was interesting -- why not open with that? If you started your story with "She told her father a tale of falling out of a tree to explain..." it's going to hook me, because I'm going to wonder why she lied about a broken arm. THEN you can bring in the dream-world-carrying-into-reality drama.

I also think you could lose your sentence, "It was dark, but not just..." The next sentence starts with "The darkness," so it's pretty clear that it's, you know, dark, and adding "night" somewhere after darkness sets your scene aptly. A general tightening would do you a great service.

Really what I'm saying is that there's a nugget of gold in here, you just need to uncover it.

It was the same dream again, but this was not like any other dream she had ever had. (YOU CONTRADICT YOURSELF LATER BY SAYING SHE HAS BEEN HAVING THESE DREAMS FOR SIX MONTHS. YOU NEED TO FIND ANOTHER WAY TO DELINEATE BETWEEN THESE ALTERNATE REALITY EXPERIENCES AND REGULAR DREAMS).

It was as if she had been pulled into another reality(COMMA) for the sounds of the insects and the feel of the grass under her feet and the smell of the wind seemed exactly the same. However, there were subtle differences that she couldn’t explain, a feeling that made her uneasy and wary (I'M THINKING UNEASY AND WARY ARE REDUNDANT TOGETHER) all at the same time.

Yet, (WHAT IS THE YET FOR - SHE WAS UNEASY YET FRIGHTENED? I'D LOSE THE YET) she had been here before and the first time had frightened her(COMMA) for she had learnt the hard way that whatever happened to you in this place was also true in the waking world.

She had told her father a tale of falling out of a tree to explain her broken arm, but she had the feeling that he hadn’t believed (HADN'T BELIEVED HER, THEN YOU CAN CUT TALE AS THE TRUTH) the tale as the truth. She sighed(COMMA) for she should be used to this after nearly six months, but she never seemed to have any control over where she went in this place. It was if someone else was controlling this strange place and she was only a game piece to move around the board.

It was dark, but not just(I THINK YOU COULD LOSE THE JUST) the calm quiet of night. This darkness was threatening and it weighed upon the heart like a granite boulder. Kitriana (NICE NAME!) walked slowly through this darkness, her heart beginning to pound in fear as the dead leaves crunched and rustled under her boots.

Regarding the 13 lines thing, your did go over, but Kathleen will get you back on track. I've done it more than once. It's thirteen courier new lines in 12 point, as it fits into the message box. There's also a really good reason for this, although I can't remember it at the moment. I do know there's a thread that explains it all. Have Fun!

First, it helps to protect your first publication rights because it limits how much of your story is actually "published" online.

Second, 13 lines is the first page of a properly formatted manuscript (12-point courier font). So you are giving readers the same "first page" you would give an editor. This means that readers can tell you if they would want to turn the page, so you have some idea of whether or not an editor might want to turn the page. If the editor doesn't want to turn the page, your story can be rejected without further reading.

It would help to lessen the confusing details if you’d simplify the sentences a bit.

You are taking too many words to get a simple idea across.

And...your statement doesn’t make sense. It was the same dream again but not any other dream she had ever had. If it’s the same, if she has dreams like this a lot, why is this one not like any other dream she had ever had?

Redundancy – he hadn’t believed the tale as the truth – !
We don’t learn anything concrete about this latest dream. Has she been pulled into yet another (a third) reality this time?

The sounds...seemed exactly the same...as what? As her real world? Or as before in these dreams?

Too many vague words. She should be used to “this” – to what?

Is the problem here a logical inconsistency in the flow of your thoughts?

Using your words, I tried to cut out some of the extra stuff and put in some concrete images in place of your vague terms like “this.”

It was the same dream again. She had been pulled back into that other reality. While this time the sounds of the insects and the feel of the grass under her feet and the smell of the wind seemed exactly the same as before, there were subtle differences that she couldn’t explain. A feeling that made her uneasy and wary all at the same time.

She had learnt the hard way that whatever happened to you in that place was also true in the waking world. Once, when she told her father a tale of falling out of a tree to explain her broken arm, he hadn’t believed her story, not really. But there was the arm, broken.

Were you ever able to see, or were you born blind? That might help us to explain things to you more clearly.

Meanwhile, to explain the font thing. There are different visual styles for the letters of the alphabet and we call them fonts. The old typewriters used Courier font, while newspapers and books usually use Times Roman. The 10 pt and 12 pt refer to the size of the letters. (pt is short for 'point' and it's the quaint old size measure that printers used when they typeset books and newspapers by hand.) 12 pt is larger than 10 pt. Times Roman is a very 'dense' font and that's one reason newspapers use it: you get more characters per line than Courier for the same size font. That's because the Times Roman font allows the letters to snuggle up to each other, all nice and friendly, while Courier makes them keep a certain fixed distance from each other because it was designed for typewriters and their limited mechanics.

That means you should set your wordprocessor to the Courier font with a size of 12 pt. In Word that's Courier New, same thing. The length of the line needs to be six inches, unjustified (or 'ragged right').

When you enter text onto the Hatrack website the text box you write in is designed to display just 13 lines of courier 12 pt. If you go over the limit the scrollbar to the right becomes active: you can move it up and down to scan your text, but you only ever see 13 lines. I have no idea how, without sight, you navigate a website designed for sighted people. Do you have a way of knowing if the scrollbar has become active?

For Hatrack these are single spaced lines but for a submission to a publisher they'd be double spaced.

Oh, one more thing: if you're typing into the text box live, make sure you keep a copy. If anything goes wrong or like me you forget to put your password in, it forgets it all and gives you a nice clean blank text box and you have to type it all over again.

Hope this helps,
Pat