Second Revision

His First Wife, the Matriarch, opened her eyes and looked at him. She was shaking, and he took her hand, sending a calming influence. "I had a true seeing," she told him, her voice barely louder than a whisper. "It is significant, I think."

"I thought as much. You froze up as we walked. Should I gather the Council?"

She shook her head. "Not yet. I would have your thoughts on it first." The Matriarch concentrated, and her First Husband found himself standing next to her on the banks of the Great River. He never ceased to marvel at the completeness of his First Wife’s illusions; he could even see and hear birds flying overhead.

"Our Family settled here many generations past," began the Matriarch, "and influenced other people to gather and build...."

First Revision

The Matriarch opened her eyes and saw her First Husband staring at her with concern, still holding her hand. She was shaking, and she felt him send a calming influence. “I had a true seeing,” she told him, her voice barely louder than a whisper. “A tragedy approaches.”
“I thought it was another vision. You froze up as we walked. Should I gather the Council?”
She shook her head. “Not yet. I would have your thoughts on it first.” She concentrated, and the two of them appeared alone on the banks of the Great River in an illusory world, their physical bodies left behind. Her husband looked up at the birds flying overhead and shook his head. He was right—an unnecessary embellishment, but modesty was not her strength.

Original Passage

The Matriarch opened her eyes and looked at her First Husband. She was shaking, and he took her hand, sending a calming influence. “I had a true seeing,” she told him, her voice barely louder than a whisper. “A major one.”
“Should I gather the Council?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Not yet. I would have your thoughts on it first.” The Matriarch concentrated, and the two of them found themselves on the banks of the Great River. Her First Husband never ceased to marvel at the completeness of his First Wife’s illusions; he could even see and hear birds flying overhead. To anyone that saw their physical bodies, they would seem to be in a trance, and they could talk in the illusory world with nothing but the river’s current to distract them.

[This message has been edited by Nagrom (edited January 15, 2010).]

[This message has been edited by Nagrom (edited January 15, 2010).]

[This message has been edited by Nagrom (edited January 15, 2010).]

[This message has been edited by Nagrom (edited January 18, 2010).]

I'm having a problem with POV. The first sentence seems to be from the Matriarch's POV, while the last is from the First Husband's, and I don't see a need for the split.

In the first sentence, I'd like something to give me more context about why the First Husband is there to immediately grab her hand. Was he waiting there, concerned, as she lay in bed? Or were they at a party when she was overtaken by a vision? It doesn't need to be completely described, but as it is the image is falling flat with me.

I agree "major" seems out of place. The rest of your dialogue runs so smoothly that this just jumps out.

The lack of names makes the story feel more distant than it would if actual names were used.

And whose head are we in, if anyone's?