Since I'm all for trying anything that promises to make the nasty business of writing queries and synopses even a little easier, I took a stab at my novels in various stages of completion, revision, or world building.

I put all five pitches in one post because, well, they're only a sentence long and it seemed silly to make five separate posts.

BLOOD WILL TELL:

quote:

---

When a half-werewolf and a dragon unite to protect an innocent woman from an unknown adversary who wants her dead, they end up hiding out in a suburb of Los Angeles, breaking a decades-old curse, capturing a serial killer, and, despite their impossible differences, falling in love as they try to solve the mystery and end the threat.

---

Revised:

quote:

---

Even Los Angeles may not be a big enough hiding place when a half-werewolf and a dragon unite to protect an innocent woman from a murderer.

---

THE SHAMAN’S CURSE:

quote:

---

When a boy fails to save his friend from a flash flood and is faced with the implacable hatred of the friend’s father, he must ultimately learn to accept and use his own innate magic--the same magic that failed to save his friend--in order to obtain what he wants most and finally find a way to end the vendetta against him.

---

Revised: (I really wanted to make this one two sentences.)

quote:

---

When a boy fails to save his friend from a flash flood and earns the hatred of the friend’s father, he can only put an end to the vendetta against him by learning to accept and use his own innate magic.

---

THE IGNORED PROPHECY:

quote:

---

When a young man new to magic finds that his magic is doing unexpected and alarming things no one can adequately explain, he must overcome his own fear that he’s about to run mad and unify wisdom from disparate and even unlikely sources to understand what’s happening to him.

---

Revised:

quote:

---

A young man new to magic is terrified when his magic starts doing unexpected things no one can adequately explain and must pull together clues from completely different magic traditions and one very ancient source in order to understand what’s happening to him.

---

DREAMER’S ROSE:

quote:

---

When a demigod succeeds in becoming a god only to find that nothing has prepared him for the challenges he now faces and the results of his own failures, it takes an outcast girl with the ability to enter dreams--even his--to help him find the way and the strength to make things right.

---

Revised: (Just a little simpler.)

quote:

---

When a demigod succeeds in becoming a god only to find that nothing has prepared him for the challenges he now faces and the results of his own failures, it takes an outcast girl with the ability to enter dreams--even his--to help him make things right.

---

SEVEN STARS:

quote:

---

When a young man unintentionally unleashes the berserker curse in his blood, he exiles himself from his home and everything he loves forever, until he can find a way to control the berserker fury and, impossibly, a cure for the curse.

---

Revised: (Tiny change.)

quote:

---

When a young man unintentionally unleashes the berserker curse in his blood, he exiles himself from his home and everything he loves forever, until he can find a way to control the berserker fury and, if possible, a cure for the curse.

---

I'll take a stab at your query letters. A few of them are too wordy. That may be a natural result of trying to squeeze the proverbial round peg into the one-sentence square hole. That said, I'll put my comments in the parentheticals below. I disagree that a one-sentence formula is helpful, unless we're talking about the Hook (which is the first sentence, typically).

BLOOD WILL TELL:

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When a half-werewolf and a dragon unite to protect an innocent woman from an unknown adversary who wants her dead, they end up hiding out in a suburb of Los Angeles, breaking a decades-old curse, capturing a serial killer, and, despite their impossible differences, falling in love as they try to solve the mystery and end the threat.

(Wordy. What mystery? Suggest something like: Sparks fly when a crime-fighting dragon falls for a half-werewolf in an unholy alliance of love, jealousy and the relentless pursuit of a serial killer and the curse that chains them all.)

THE SHAMAN’S CURSE:

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When a boy fails to save his friend from a flash flood and is faced with the implacable hatred of the friend’s father, he must ultimately learn to accept and use his own innate magic--the same magic that failed to save his friend--in order to obtain what he wants most and finally find a way to end the vendetta against him.

(This has a high-brow feel that reminds me of my writing when I'm trying to impress--but trying too hard. I would shorten it up; get rid of "implacable" and keep it simple. For example, something like: John's magic couldn't save his best friend from drowning, but the boy's magic is the only way to save himself from the vengeance in a desperate father's grieving heart.) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE IGNORED PROPHECY:

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When a young man new to magic finds that his magic is doing unexpected (Suggest dropping the word "unexpected" or "alarming"--one or the other) and alarming things no one can adequately explain, he must overcome his own fear that he’s about to (From here the words and idea gets muddled.) run mad (the phrase "run mad" is awkward. Maybe it's a gothic phrase specific to this genre?) and unify wisdom (Not sure what you mean: unify wisdom with what? With magic?)from disparate (this word is too high-brow) and even unlikely sources to understand what’s happening to him.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DREAMER’S ROSE:

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When a demigod succeeds in becoming a god only to find that nothing has prepared him for the challenges he now faces and the results of his own failures, it takes an outcast girl with the ability to enter dreams--even his--to help him find the way and the strength to make things right. (I liked this one the best. Clear. Straightforward. Intriguing. Would suggest dropping the "results of his own failures")--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SEVEN STARS:

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When a young man unintentionally unleashes the berserker curse in his blood, he exiles himself from his home and everything he loves forever, until he can find a way to control the berserker fury and, impossibly, a cure for the curse. (I don't know what "berserker" is, other than perhaps a derivation of berserk? I do think this one has real potential and would be just as intriguing without the word "berserker.")

And I found those links just by googling the word "berserker."

I see no link between the dragon and werewolf and the innocent woman.

Innocent of what?

What is a half-werewolf, out of interest? Is it a quarter human or quarter wolf? does it just get a bit hairy? It seems like an unwieldy description.

It appears to me that something draws these three together and that would seem to be something that I'd want to know about. Also your pitch seems to suggest that everything is okay-I'm not getting any threat. By this I mean that a murderer versus a dragon and a werewolf (half?) seems unfairly weighted in favour of the dragon et al.