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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Fragments and Feedback for Books » Logline for THE BARD'S GIFT

   
Author Topic: Logline for THE BARD'S GIFT
Meredith
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Pitch Madness is coming up. (Scroll down to get to the good stuff. [Wink] [Embarrassed] ) So, I need a logline for THE BARD'S GIFT, 35-word maximum.

Revised Version:

quote:
Shy Astrid's gift for telling the right story is the key to escape from starvation in medieval Greenland, to a new future where the map, if there was one, would read "Here be dragons".
Here's what I've got so far:


quote:
Shy Astrid's gift for telling the right story is the key to future away from starvation in Greenland in the New World, where the map, if there was one, would read "Here be dragons".
Go ahead. Rip, tear, shred.

[ March 12, 2013, 03:35 PM: Message edited by: Meredith ]

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extrinsic
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Astrid is shy, though placing "shy" at the beginning of the sentence suggests "Shy Astrid" is her full given name.

She has a gift for storytelling.

The gift's nature projects a sense of Astrid being prescient.

Starvation in Greenland.

Starvation in the New World.

There be dragons there where Astrid is.

Six ideas, three about Astrid, three about the milieu. Consider focusing on one character trait and one milieu trait. Astrid's storytelling gift and a place of dragons feel strongest to me.

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Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
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You left out "a" before "future." Also, is "in the New World" necessary? Could you just say "in a place" instead?

Also, the comma should come after Greenland and not after World.

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JSchuler
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I think I would get rid of "in the New World" and instead give a century, e.g. "in 15th century Greenland."
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micmcd
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I'm pro some sort of time setting, lest the line leave me wondering what kind of place has no maps in the modern world.
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Meredith
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Revised version above.
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Christian Behr
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I like it. I like it.

What about leaving out the non-map part and saying something like, "...15th-century Greenland, and settling in the wilderness known only as 'Here be dragons'."

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