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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Grist for the Mill » Facebook and awkward social situations

   
Author Topic: Facebook and awkward social situations
annepin
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Like when your boss tries to friend you! Ack!
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KayTi
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LOL

Or the creepy guy you remember from bio class...


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Pyraxis
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I actually started my Facebook account intending it to be a professional page. I think I'd start a second page if I really wanted a personal one (which I don't - hooking up again with people I didn't get along with the first time around in grade school doesn't really appeal...). But I think it's fighting the tide to try and be professional on Facebook. LinkedIn works much better for that.
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Lyrajean
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I've had an ex-boyfriend from HS and a coworker who was very tied in with the boss who fired me (not sure about her involvement) put friend requests in...

What to do?


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snapper
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I joined facebook under a false name. Good thing because if someone googles your name, your facebook page is one of the links that come up.

As far as I can tell, acknowledging someone as your friend is the equivalent of waving back to someone that is walking down the street. Being there friend doesn't mean you're required to take them out to dinner, or invite them to go camping in the southwest. :}


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Bent Tree
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accept it then delete it a few days later. The only reason that they will even realize it is if they are really creepy. Then you have your justification anyway.
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philocinemas
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I am considering joining Facebook. I have several friends from college with whom I have lost touch. Anyone have any pros or cons?
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KayTi
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Philo, just join it and see who you can find and if you don't like it delete your account.

FB is loads of fun for me. I think it is particularly suited for people like me. I went to three different high schools (family moves) - including one 10k miles away from home. Those folks have since spread to the four winds and I lost track of most of them during the years in college when everyone moved every year. Forget to send out your "I've moved" notes (yes, I"m *that* old, before the ubiquity of email) and you'd lose track of people ... at the time it felt like forever. FB has helped me reconnect with all of them. Plus then two different jobs (where I wasn't just punching the clock but was good friends with the team I worked with,) mommy friends, some old-old family friends, my sisters, my favorite uncle, my teenage nieces, friends from volunteer work, and some extended business contacts. Yes, my FB interactions are meant to be casual and informal, so there are some I wouldn't friend on FB (but would connect with on Linked In, which is great for maintaining and extending a network) but for the most part I say whatever I feel like on FB. However, I've always been one who is ... I guess thoughtful is the word... about what I post online. I basically use the "if my mother read this would I be embarrassed?" litmus test. So far, so good.

But that creepy guy from bio... (it's a hypothetical, my "creepy guy from bio" equivalent is someone else) - well I've just sat on the invite for a long time waiting to see who else is friended to the person and to evaluate whether I want that connection.

I have been unfriended by someone from ages ago that took me by surprise. Not like we were destined to become New Best Friends these days, but it was a little odd to accept my friend request and then apparently unfriend me some time later. Just don't accept. It won't kill me, I have plenty of FB friends to validate my online existence, LOL.

I have also found the configuration settings in fb helpful - on the main newsfeed page you can click an icon to the right of any news item and choose "see more about this person" or "see less about this person." I believe you can also categorize how much of your information is available to someone else, but I haven't explored those options much yet.


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Zero
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lol yeah pyraxis,

hard to feel like a professional environment when every two seconds an alert comes up "John needs you to join in the crusade against the vampires in Hell Blood RPG!"


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Zero
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We could make a Hatrack facebook group. It might be interesting to see who everybody is and where they come from?

For now you're just figments of my imagination existing in the mythical ethos of internet land.


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Bent Tree
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quote:
We could make a Hatrack facebook group. It might be interesting to see who everybody is and where they come from?
For now you're just figments of my imagination existing in the mythical ethos of internet land.

According to KDW ther is already one going.

quote:
I am considering joining Facebook. I have several friends from college with whom I have lost touch. Anyone have any pros or cons?

Pros: Getting ahold of old friends

Cons: Getting ahold of old friends & wasting ireplacable amounts of valuable time


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Pyraxis
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quote:
lol yeah pyraxis,

hard to feel like a professional environment when every two seconds an alert comes up "John needs you to join in the crusade against the vampires in Hell Blood RPG!"


Actually where I work that goes over okay. But "OMG lulz I am so haaaaappy )))))))" and a zillion quizzes about what color rose and what style of sunglasses you are is just as bad.


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Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
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There is a Hatrack River Writers Workshop group on Facebook.

You don't have to pay any attention to anything that you don't want to. I have what must be a gazillion requests to join some group or other, or to send somebody some silly thing or other. I only even consider those that I am interested in, and I ignore the rest. <shrug>


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WouldBe
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Funny. I happened to have posted on FFO a humor bit on how to "defriend" or "unfriend" someone from your friends list. That post links to this NYT article.

I don't have any social-networking accounts, presently.

[This message has been edited by WouldBe (edited January 31, 2009).]


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Robert Nowall
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I hear it's all the rage...but it's still something I'm not involved with. Besides, I've left enough fingerprints in the Internet sands to cause me grief somewhere down the line...
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Pyraxis
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Just joined the Facebook Hatrack Writer's group (not to be confused with the Facebook Hatrack group). Cool.
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philocinemas
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I joined facebook yesterday and the Writers Group as well. Snapper looks just like I pictured him...

Edited to add: Although, I thought he'd be showing more teeth.

[This message has been edited by philocinemas (edited January 31, 2009).]


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satate
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I like facebook. I joined and found all these old high school and college friends. I'm a bad friend and lost contact with most of my old friends, so it's been fun. I joined the hatrack writer group too.
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snapper
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quote:
I joined facebook yesterday and the Writers Group as well. Snapper looks just like I pictured him...

That's me, a blond, brown eyed, handsome specimen. ALL the women want to hug me.


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AmieeRock
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Or swat you with a newspaper
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snapper
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*Lifts leg on AmieeRock*
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Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
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Bad dog! It's the doghouse for you!
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aspirit
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I cope with awkward Web situations by giving them real-life equivalents. For example, choosing social networking Friends equals choosing wedding guest list (since I'm on Myspace and Facebook for personal, not professional, reasons).

My (now) husband and I paid for most of our wedding ourselves, so all of our choices went through a money filter. We kept the guest list relatively small (as in my husband has as many first cousins as we had guests). To be fair, we categorized our friends and family, then determined which categories we could invite. We received many complaints, but we figured anyone who didn't care about the grief the selection process caused us didn't deserve to come.

My filters for Myspace and Facebook are time and trust. Do I care enough to read their updates, or would I rather spend my time doing something else? Do I think they will use my information against me? If they argue about how I decide, then they don't deserve to be my Friend.

Also, just as some uninvited guests showed up at my wedding, some people I'm not entirely comfortable with show up on my Friends lists. If they want my company that much, and they're nice about it, then it's okay. My wedding guests behaved well, and so far, so have my Friends.


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