posted
If you had to rely on stuff like The Birdies for spiritual nourishment, you'd starve:
quote:Almost a month later to the day of the accident, Brian awoke from his afternoon nap and said, "Sit down mommy. I have something to tell you."
"Do you remember when I got stuck under the garage door? Well it was so heavy and it hurt really bad. I called to you, but you couldn't hear me. I started to cry, but then it hurt too bad. And then the 'birdies' came."
Share your favorite and not-so-favorite twinkies here.
I've got to go clean out my in-box...again.
Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I think snopes calls them "Glurg" stories. My favorite lesson in the teacher development course is the "teach true doctrine" one, where we learn that stories off the internet and pop songs are not legitimate sources of lesson material.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
"Glurge". They call them "glurge". And I don't have a "favorite"; I pretty much hate them all.
Posts: 1814 | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
I like the Mormon one about a "tri-mission" conference that was going to be held in the World Trade Centers the day of 9/11, but all of the missionaries miraculously didn't make it! I couldn't believe how many were taken in by that one when it started circulating.
Posts: 194 | Registered: Feb 2005
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I hate faith-promoting rumors. However, I must admit that they formed quite a large part in the formation of my opinions about faith and religion. When I was a teenager, and started learning that quite a number of the more commonly heard rumors were not, in fact, true, I felt betrayed and angry. Therafter, I became something of a crusader against this kind of thing. I'm probably now to the point where I'm TOO skeptical, sometimes cynical, but I'd rather be that than too gullible.
Posts: 1652 | Registered: Aug 2003
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The only one that comes to mind is the one about the portrait of Christ that we use so often in the LDS church. The story is that when the painting was first unveiled, a little girl got up and said that she knew that man -- he was the one that came and held her all night when her mommy died.
Posts: 751 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
I grew up on Paul Dunn war stories, especially the one in which he miraculously survived being run over by an enemy tank.
But you have to be careful with Paul Dunn. Invariably one of his former neighbors or someone whose parents joined him on one of his Jerusalem tours, will rally to his defense.
Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I used one as a sermon illustration once. But not in the way that would have made the cousin who sent it to me happy. It was the one about the poor persecuted student whose atheist professor always uses class time to rant about how stupid Christians are, until the day when he shouts, yes shouts that if God exists he dares God to make this piece of chalk not break when he drops it and just then it slips from his fingers and rolls down his pantleg and off the cuff coming to rest COMPLETELY UNHARMED the professor rushes from the room and the student uses the rest of the class time to give his testimony and many students accept Jesus as their personal savior. Or something like that.
I was preaching on the first Sunday of Lent on the temptations in the wilderness, and noted that Jesus didn’t seem to think that throwing himself from the pinnacle of the temple so that everyone would see he was unharmed was a particularly appropriate tactic for winning converts. I’m thinking it’s not any more appropriate with a piece of chalk substituted for Jesus.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
3 Nephite stories: Like the one about the Mormon bishop whose patriarchal blessing promised that he'd encounter all three during his lifetime?
Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:It was the one about the poor persecuted student whose atheist professor always uses class time to rant about how stupid Christians are[. . . .]
That one I have a particular contempt for. Just because God can save the piece of chalk doesn't mean He will just because of some idiot professor's whim. Just because God doesn't alter the laws of physics every time someone wants Him to proves He doesn't exist? Please.
Edit: And the conclusion of the story is no proof that He does exist either. Random chance is enough to explain the survival of the chalk. The professor is obviously very edgy and needs to switch to decaf.
That principle always gets messed for me by the story of Elijah and the priests of Baal in the Old Testament, though.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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I figure that there are some rare occasions when God will manifest his power clearly to people that don't believe. Those times are not subject to the dictate of Satan, professors, or anybody else trying to force God's hand.
Posts: 751 | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote: I figure that there are some rare occasions when God will manifest his power clearly to people that don't believe. Those times are not subject to the dictate of Satan, professors, or anybody else trying to force God's hand.
Exactly. Plus in the Old Testament God seemed a lot more willing to lay down the smite.
Posts: 194 | Registered: Feb 2005
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Kat, the major difference between the Elijah stories, if I remember them right, and the chalk and Jesus temptation stories is that Elijah was acting as God's servant when he called on His power. The professor and Satan were not...they were mocking God.
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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Yeah, I remember that. I still think Elijah was being rather tacky, though.
quote: And it came to pass at noon, that Elijah mocked them, and said, Cry aloud: for he is a god; either he is talking, or he is pursuing•, or he is in a journey, or peradventure he sleepeth, and must be awaked.
posted
The Elijah stories... the difference between a miracle and coincidence is really one of Point of veiw, in that it tells more about you than 'proving' there is a particular God.
I mean, some people would say Elijah was just... really lucky. Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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quote:38 Then the fire of the LORD fell, and consumed the burnt sacrifice, and the wood, and the stones, and the dust, and licked up the water that was in the trench.
It must have been something to see.
Kings 18 is on my list of "scripture jokes", Portabello Road. It's right up there with Mosiah 12 starring Secret Agent!Abinadi.
quote:And it came to pass that after the space of two years that Abinadi came among them in disguise, that they knew him not, and began to prophesy among them, saying: Thus has the Lord commanded me, saying—Abinadi, go and prophesy unto this my people, for they have hardened their hearts against my words; they have repented not of their evil doings; therefore, I will bvisit• them in my anger, yea, in my fierce anger will I visit them in their iniquities and abominations.
posted
I wasn't making a connection between the professor and Satan -- I was suggesting that the temptation to think of this sort of crap as a faith promoting resource or evangelism tool is, shall we say, not from God.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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quote: My favorite lesson in the teacher development course is the "teach true doctrine" one, where we learn that stories off the internet and pop songs are not legitimate sources of lesson material.
I wish our RS teachers would take that course...
quote: It's kinda like green jell-o. We joke about it all the time, but almost never eat/serve it.
I beg to differ. When I was pregnant and on bed rest, my visiting teachers brought me dinner. What did they bring with it? Green jell-o salad. When Ems was born, people brought dinner in. Guess what? More green jell-o salad! Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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As for the Three Nephites, there are several books out about experiences people have had with them.
It's so sacred that most people don't share the stories, and of course, the work of the three is not exclusive to Mormons.
All I can say is they exist. In my lifetime I encountered one of them. I cannot share with you where and what happened surrounding the meeting--it's too personal and too sacred even to a bum like me. But there is no doubting it even to this day that I knew who he was.
And no he didn't introduce himself or hand me a business card. He didn't have to. Frankly, it wasn't until after he was gone that I knew.
My guess is a lot of people have very spiritual experiences that none of us, with all our well intentioned purposes can explain.
That is what a miracle is and its intent is to touch us spiritually, thus it becomes a personal thing.
Posts: 65 | Registered: Mar 2005
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Paul Dunn was a general authority for the Mormon church. He wrote books, did lectures and told these stories about his experiences to promote faith.
Trouble was, it turned out his stories were more fiction than fact. He's no longer a general authority but sure as I'm sitting in a library, his neighbors and friends will stand by him.
Posts: 65 | Registered: Mar 2005
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There was girl I went to school with who had a tendency to go off by herself and see angels. Especially when nobody wanted to hang with her on band trips. I wasn't in the band, but I was frequently forced to endure the stories.
Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
And there was an elder in my mission who claimed that Jesus appeared to him...while alone (a no no for elders), and during daylight proselyting hours.
Oh well, different Jesuses for different folks.
Wow, I'm really on one today.
Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004
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My bishop sometimes tells this little story from the pulpit: He Took My Licking
quote:Little Timmy replied, "My daddy's dead and my Mother is very poor. I don't have but one shirt, and my mother is washing it today. I wore big brother's coat so' to keep warm."
That one rates three Twinkies and a Ding Dong.
Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Some years ago, President Gordon B. Hinckley told “something of a parable” about “a one room school house in the mountains of Virginia where the boys were so rough no teacher had been able to handle them.
I've always thought, Katie, that if there's a shred of truth to the Elijah story, the "water" he poured on his sacrifice -- during a drought, mind you -- was more likely to be kerosene. Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
I hate glurge. Whenever I get one in email I send it back to the person who sent it to me along with a link to snopes.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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The only friend who Glurges me has short term memory loss. Linking to Snopes would only result in hurting her feelings many, many times. I don't think she'd remember it long enough to keep her from sending me the next one.
The good news is that she'd forgive me almost immediately.
Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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I've got a few people like that in my inbox too... unfortunately, my mother is one of them. Funny, this is the woman who swore off all religion as soon as she moved out of her parents' house and refused to allow us children any exposure outside of weddings and funerals that couldn't be avoided. Now her son is a practicing Baptist, her younger daughter is in some weird cult, and her elder daughter is still trying to figure out what to do.
Posts: 4515 | Registered: Jul 2004
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