I really wasn't expecting this. Our birth control obviously failed. We're not insured yet. I guess Emma and I will go down on Monday and see if we qualify for Medicaid. If not, I don't know what I'm going to do.
I think I'll be happy once I know that I'm going to be able to get prenatal care somehow. But right now, I feel kind of like someone came up behind me, stuck a gun in my back, and mugged me. It's so unexpected.
I wanted another baby. But we were going to wait a bit. From the beginning of my pregnancy with Emma, I was thinking of her as my baby. But I can't think like that yet-- especially after that unexpected miscarriage. I'm just afraid, I guess. Afraid to have the baby, afraid to lose it.
They gave me an estimated date based on my last period, but I don't think it's accurate-- I think I may have skipped one period from stress, and only one from pregnancy. But I'll have to have a sonogram to be sure. And to do that, I have to find some way to get myself prenatal care.
Yes, I'm taking my vitamins. I was on and off before, too; I forget because I hate them so much. But I won't forget any more.
I wish I could be happy, but I can't quite yet. I will, though. Already, I am thinking of what we're going to do when the baby outgrows the bassinette. So I guess I'm on the road to acceptance.
Prayers would be nice, though.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Even if you're not at that point yet, KQ-I'm very happy for you and your husband.
Since you're not working out of the home right now, already have a baby with one on the way, unless your husband really rakes it in, you should qualify for MediCal.
Don't forget to utilize your local Freecycle. If they are like mine, they offer lots of baby supplies.
I do have a question though, which birth control method failed you?
Posts: 2064 | Registered: Dec 2003
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(((kq))) I had one of those, though I won't say which one. Still, I think it's silly for there to be a stigma on unplanned children. And I've had two children without insurance. Even if you can't get medicaid (and we didn't apply) there might be programs where you pay a set fee and can go your prenatal care included. But maybe that's only in Utah. I know that getting women into prenatal care early is a major public health initiative.
Our "surprise" baby was a forgotten condom- We forgo them for the first 10 days of my cycle but it was like the 15th day and we both managed to forget. My husband chalks it up to subconscious desire/God.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Our first son was paid for through the Health Department. I don't advise it if you can avoid whatecer version you have there -- Teres had to wait for hours at the offices for every appointment and you don't get much in the way of a personal doctor -- but we managed to afford it.
Good luck and congratulations!
Posts: 7790 | Registered: Aug 2000
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This has happened twice now. The clinic suggested next time we add a diaphragm to the mix as well.
They have apparently changed requirements for MediCal. Our gross income is more than 200% the federal poverty level-- so we apparently don't qualify. But I'm hoping they'll be like Texas-- we went in there with proof of expenses, proof of income, everything, and all they asked is, "Do you have proof of pregnancy? And no insurance? Okay, there you go." Maybe what's listed isn't really applicable to uninsured pregnant women.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Is there something in the water at Hatrack? Seriously. I'm starting to wonder if I should avoid hatrack until I'm ready to have kids. o_O
Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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KQ, I'm sorry you are going through this emotional craziness right now. I am confident that you will get to the point where you are excited about the pregnancy and can't imagine it any other way. You have lots of time yet to get to that point--no rush.
But for now, congrats on the surprise! Being as I am all excited about my pregnancy, it is easy for me to want to be excited for others as well.
Good luck in finding a good insurance solution. Sometimes I think that maternity coverage should come standard, since surprises do often happen. (I am not sure what I think, because I don't know what the ramifications would be.) The only way you are not at risk for a surprise is to abstain from sex completely.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Are you just uninsured now, or do you not plan on being insured anytime soon?
The reason I ask is because I just called my insurance company to find out about specific pregnancy benefits, and I found out that with my plan, pregnancy is never considered a pre-existing condition. I know there were several individual plans I looked at before going with my work's plan (with United Healthcare) and none of them would cover pregnancy unless you got pregnant after you began making payments.
All I'm saying is that if you can't get on Medicaid, you're not doomed to paying delivery costs and whatnot without any help. There may be insurance plans that will still cover you.
Posts: 1903 | Registered: Sep 2003
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I'm sorry you can't be excited right now, kq. My husband was unemployed when we found out I was pregnant, so it was kinda hard to be excited. Luckily, we did qualify for medicaid.
As for insurance, the way it works here in Colorado is that if you are buying an individual policy, your initial coverage date has to be at least one year prior to the date of delivery. But if it's a group policy (say through your husband's work?) it would cover the remainder of your pregnancy. So hopefully you can get coverage through his work, and hopefully it works the same there as it does here? If not, I'm praying for you to qualify for medicaid. It was my lifesaver.
Posts: 161 | Registered: Jul 2002
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My midwife has a saying, that pregnancy lasts 9 months so we can get used to the idea. If you need to talk, let me know.
and congrats!!
If neither insurance or medicaid work out, tap into the local midwives. They may be more likely to set up a payment plan.
Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote: My midwife has a saying, that pregnancy lasts 9 months so we can get used to the idea.
So true. I think even in planned pregnancies when you find out it's FOR SURE you (at I do) panic just a little and warm up to the idea over time.
Congratulations! It's hard not to be excited to have you join the expectant hatrackers.
I'm Canadian so health insurance is a non issue here. I have used midwives before though and I think they provide excellent care and are generally less expensive than MDs. If you had an uncomplicated delivery the first time it might be a good option for you. Good luck!
Posts: 251 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Your first post reminds me very much of how I felt when I found out I was pregnant with Ivygirl. We were broke, I had been sick, we were on the verge of divorce (and did get divorced when she was one). I felt like it was the worst possible time to get pregnant.
However, looking back now -- what a wonderful blessing this child, now a young woman, has been to my life. How I can't imagine my life without her! God knew what I needed, even if I didn't.
My prayers are with you. Remember your faith to get you through your uncertainty.
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Surprises often bring unexpected blessings with them!
All of my babies have been medicaid babies unfortunately. My second started with insurance but dh got fired. Because of his heart trouble his medical bills would have destroyed us so it was an unfortunate blessing if that makes sense. #3 was a complete surprise, found out just after we moved and we couldn't find a job with affordable insurance because of son #2. But I also figure we are working hard to support ourselves and doing the best we can so if we have to take medicaid benefits at least we are working for them.
I hope your pgcy goes smoothly and many congratulations! (if there is something in the hatrack water can you send me as much as possible??? )
Posts: 1132 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
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congratulations... and let me second the recommendation for a Certified Nurse Midwife.
The *total* cost for our last three children was about $6500 (that's all three put together) and we had payment plans for all of it.
Also the birth experiences were very pleasant and very intimate (Robby and Will were born at home which was really amazingly comfortable and smooth).
Posts: 3846 | Registered: Apr 2004
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KQ, we have a saying, "Gam Zo L'Tova" (this, too, is for the best). While plans may seem at the moment to be derailed, remember that all the planning is not ours to do. This will turn out to be for the good, according to G'd's plans. Trust that he knows what he's doing!
And "ketchup packet"? Gotta love it! Perhaps the new screen name for the little squirt?
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Ahem! I would like to take this opportunity to say : I TOLD YOU SO! Also-congrats, good wishes, happy thoughts and all the other good feelings I have to give! Posts: 870 | Registered: Mar 2005
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I'm sorry for your shock, and unpreparedness. I can only imagine now how I would feel if I got pregnant.
I am sure you will become happier, and more accepting as time goes on though. And then you'll have a virtual condiment bar!
Please let mw know if there is anything I can do.
PS - Maybe too personal, but have you considered going on the pill contraceptive wise? If this is the second time this has happened to you with condoms, it might be something to consider, at least.
Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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There are many birth control pills that can be used while nursing, but you probably know that.
Posts: 1014 | Registered: Jul 2005
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Unfortunately, because of a family history of stroke while on hormonal bc (including my sister, who narrowly missed one while on low-dose hormonal bc) and a personal history of low blood pressure, I've been told it's not a good option for me.
Otherwise I would so be all over that.
The nurse practitioner at PP suggested adding another layer or two-- her suggestion was a diaphragm.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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I don't know about pregnancy, but due to other health conditions I do know about continuous coverage. There is a law in place that states that if you can prove that you had coverage on a previous plan and have not been without insurance for more than 90 days insurance companies cannot refuse to cover your previous conditions.
It may not work for pregnancy, but it should help with asthma depending on how long you've been without insurance. The law is called HIPAA, it stands for the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act. There are usually hoops that you have to go through with many insurance companies to prove you had the condition and were being treated for it.
The two most important things I've learned over the last few years are: 1) ALWAYS get a statment from your previous insurance company stating the length of time you were covered by them and 2)if you have to be without a regular insurance provider for more than 90 days, look into a short-term policy, they count as continous coverage, even if they won't cover regular doctors visits, and will keep you covered for emergencies so that you don't have to pay through the nose for the rest of your life if you have to go to the emergency room etc.
Many short-term policies last for about six months and if you haven't used them, they can often be extended. Some are quite reasonable as well, when I was without insurance after I graduated college, I paid about $25/month for my short-term policy until I got a job with insurance.
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I haven't had insurance since I was, oh, 18 or so. Jeff has never had coverage through his work before. But thank you for trying. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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kq, I know Alabama has a program for uninsured pregnancies and the amount of care the women got was phenomenal. A friend of the family was going through an uninsured pregnancy at the same time I was pregnant with my first and she actually got more care paid for than I did - my insurance company would only pay for one sonar, hers didn't limit it. She stayed in the hospital 2 days, they kicked me out after 24 hours.
So don't worry about coverage, I think you'll qualify for some help. Don't forget WIC as well.
And good luck with the pregnancy. When I got pregnant with Natalie, Wes and I had only been married three months. We were not planning it, and we were on birth control too. I felt much like you described - like I'd been mugged. I think it's pretty obvious that I don't feel that way anymore and I'm actually quite thrilled I had my family so early. Hang in there, the acceptance will come.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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Hey kq - there are some pretty simple tests you can have done to see if birth control pills would be dangerous for you. The main one would be the Factor V Leiden test - if it comes back negative, you're probably pretty safe to take the pill, as that's the number one genetic problem that causes strokes and blood clots in women on the pill. However, if it comes back positive, it may be harder (& more expensive) for you to get life and health insurance.
I realize this is a bit like locking the barn after the cow has escaped, but you might want to consider it after this latest Ketchup is born.
Posts: 2409 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Hmm. No, we don't know enough about clotting disorders for me to suggest that test. She'd have to tested for numerous things, including phospholipids antibodies, not just factor V leiden, and even if they are all negative that doesn't prove anything. Going over her history with a hematologist who specializes in clotting disorders to discuss her risks could be useful if she really wants to try the pill, I suppose.
OTOH, if the affected sister was tested and came up positive for something, and kq was tested for that and was negative, that WOULD be very useful information, actually.
Posts: 1014 | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote: You must have lived in California for the last 6 months.
However, if the point at which that will be true is earlier than your 30th week of pregnancy, you can apply then. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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The same thing happened to us. We were either going to wait, or just stay with one child.
Do not worry! It will work out. You will get insurance. You will look back, like I am now, and wonder how on earth you could ever have lived your life without your second(or third, or fourth) child.
Still, I undersatnd your feelings completely. It is scary. It would be fabulous if we could all get by on love alone, as the songs often say, but we can't. Hang in there!
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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Congrats ketchup! I know just how you feel. This is EXACTLY how I would feel if I were to *surprise* get pregnant right now too and for all the same reasons. We still owe bills from baby #1 and she is almost 3! But once the baby is here, you won't be able to imagine you life any other way. Good luck!
Posts: 1319 | Registered: Jul 2005
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Theca - while I agree that just Factor V Leiden wouldn't be conclusive, it's the most likely thing that would cause blood clotting/strokes on the Pill (due to the way it affects the clotting cascade). Also, the gene is relatively abundent in the caucasian gene pool (compared to other clotting disorders, and excluding MTHFR, of course), which points to it being the most likely cause of her sister's problems. If that one came back negative, then - considering how most other genetic blood clotting problems don't cause the same level of risk that Factor V does with the Pill - I'd say that it's relatively safe for her to try the pill. Not perfectly safe, but what really is?
There are other tests that would be a good idea, but there's also a cost to getting so many labs done, that may not be worth the benefit.
I say this as someone who, although not medically trained, has gone through the WHOLE (and I do mean whole) battery of tests that a hemotologist might order when looking for clotting disorders, and who has come up positive on a goodly number of those. I've educated myself very, very well on this little sub-field, especially as it relates to pregnancy and birth control.
Kq - if you still prefer to avoid hormonal birth control options, you might want to take a look at the IUDs in the future - they have a relatively high start-up cost, but they're the most effective form of reversable birth control on the market, the copper version lasts for over ten years (altho you can easily remove it with one quick visit to the doctor), and they work best for women who are married or in long-term committed relationships and have already had at least one child.
Posts: 2409 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Hmmm. I still disagree. Picking the one test that might statistically be the most common and saying that she's probably fine if that one test is negative so go right ahead and take birth control is not the way I'd handle it.
Checking the relatives with the clotting history would be far less chancy if you really, really want to know what's going on in the family gene pool.
I'm not recommending this for kq's family though. I am just sort of thinking out loud.
Posts: 1014 | Registered: Jul 2005
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I personally had my first of many pulmonary emboli (blood clots in the lungs) after taking birth control pills. My problem wasn't diagonosed until years later as an antiphospholipid antibody problem. And it wasn't until years later that I was diagnosed with SLE (Lupus), which was responsible for the antiphospholipid thing, and the clots. I stay away from birth control pills, they can kill me, even though I don't have that Factor V thing.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote:Kq - if you still prefer to avoid hormonal birth control options, you might want to take a look at the IUDs in the future - they have a relatively high start-up cost, but they're the most effective form of reversable birth control on the market, the copper version lasts for over ten years (altho you can easily remove it with one quick visit to the doctor), and they work best for women who are married or in long-term committed relationships and have already had at least one child.
I tend to follow my mother's pattern on many reproductive issues, and she had severe cramping and bleeding with an IUD, which is not something I'm willing to risk any more than a stroke is. >_< Ask quid about why, she understands.
romany, I'll check out that book. Thanks for the recommendation.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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No hurry, hon, you've got months and months before you need to worry about birth control!
I liked "What to Expect When You're Expecting" -- that's one book worth buying instead of borrowing from the library -- unless they'll let you keep renewing it month after month.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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I had three copies given to me the first time I was pregnant. I sent one to a Hatracker who got pregnant unexpectedly, but I still have two.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Well, I'm pretty sure that all you need is one -- it is not like you'll need a new one for each pregnancy.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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