posted
Unfortunately, I saw Fantastic Four last night.
Walking away from it, I was awestruck at one of the dumbest lines I've ever heard on a movie. As Mr. Fantastic pulled out a ring for his honey, he said
quote:I found a broken gasket from space.
Whence These Flowers?
I could spend a page talking about the many layers of stupidity contained within this line. If Bach had written a fuge of stupidity, it might have looked something like this.
Anyway, I digress. What are some lines that have blown you away through their sheer mind-numbing dumbness?
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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"Your Honor, my client would like to withdraw his plea of not guilty and enter a plea of guilty."
The Untouchables.
Al Capone is standing right there saying he doesn't want to do that.
A great movie ruined by the stupidity in the trial. Switching juries in the middle of the evidence. Sheesh.
The jury switch happened before the trial started. A great little story from legal history ruined by idiots.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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quote: 'There's a lot of space out there to get lost in'
Dr. Robinson - Lost in Space. I hate that movie so much.
Also, the 'corset' line from Pirates of the Caribbean. It's impossible to hear that line and not wince.
Posts: 1528 | Registered: Nov 2004
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Scy, so true. I saw it on my birthday, and have never laughed so much at a tragedy in all my life. Posts: 1528 | Registered: Nov 2004
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You know, the corset line in PotC might've been amusing on a first hearing if it hadn't been played ad nauseum in the trailers.
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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The pirate says something about inflicting pain on Will and she says "you like pain? Try wearing a corset." Then she thwaps him.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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quote:Originally posted by pH: "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like you. You're everything soft. And smooth."
That Anakin is a PIMP, I tell you. No wonder Padme threw herself at him in her bondage corset dress thing.
I know if any guy came up to me with that line, I'd marry him in a heartbeat.
-pH
"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like you. You're everything soft. And smooth pH."
posted
I truly.... (Audience waits for Padme to say madly, thank goodness she doesn't) .... deeply ..... love you.
Posts: 1757 | Registered: Oct 2004
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Pretty much every line in 'Must Love Dogs'. That movie was more painful for me than Troy was for Teshi. *grin*
Posts: 1595 | Registered: Feb 2003
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The like ends with "Not like here, here everything is soft, and smooth" at which point he leers at her.
"Anakin, you're breaking my heart" is the only line that really stuck out as so stupid as to be deadly to all that hear it in Ep III.
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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I thought all of the "romantic" dialogue in Episode II was awkward and forced. I believed they were in love in Episode III, but that "You're breaking my heart" scene made me cringe.
posted
I'm not sure if this is bad dialogue per se, but that bit in Episode I, where everybody's sitting around the table in Anakin's hovel(sp?) and Anakin retorts Liam Neeson with:
"I think you HAVE. Why else would you be here?"
Posts: 1236 | Registered: Mar 2002
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-True Lies, right before he shoots the missile with bad guy attached.
"Cool off."
-True Lies, right before he slams bad guy's head into toilet.
Dude... those were hilarious. They were the governator making fun of himself! They were meant to be over the top! All of True Lies was.
quote: quote:Storm: Do you know what happens to a Toad when struck by lightning?... The same as anything else.
X-men.
I happened to like that line. It got a chuckle from me.
And the corset line wasn't that bad.
None of those lines are supposed to be serious. They're all supposed to be Super/action hero banter type silly. They aren't supposed to be meaningful or anything, just to go with the action and draw a chuckle.
The others mentioned here were definately terrible though.
Posts: 3295 | Registered: Jun 2004
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There's a very funny send up of the Star Wars ep 2 screenplay somewhere on the internet. (I'll try and find it and put up a link, though I'm pretty sure it's alreay been posted to the 'Rack previously. In any case, the line from the parody which summed it all up for me was:
Anakin: Padme, I love you as much as it is possible for a lover to love the one he loves.
Posts: 466 | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:Originally posted by starLisa: I let him go."
-Commando, after he drops a guy off a cliff and his unwilling sidekick asks what he did to him.
Well, if we're going to quote Commando:
Matrix: "Let off some steam, Bennett."
-After shoving a pipe through the bad guy into a steam vent or something. Classic line. Always makes me laugh.
Posts: 4753 | Registered: May 2002
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The one about the sand. I'm a sucker for flattery, and that it was so awkward made it seem more sincere.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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See, the awkwardness just made me cringe. Awkwardness is only cute when like, you've just started dating, and you're trying to decide if you should hold hands in public or something.
"I'm sorry. This is a strange place and I don't fully understand things here." -Anakin and Padme
"Maxi big the force. Well that smells stinkowitch." -Jar Jar Binks- ??????huh? Pretty much anything coming out of Jar Jar's mouth is lame.
Posts: 1346 | Registered: Jun 1999
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quote:Originally posted by starLisa: I let him go."
-Commando, after he drops a guy off a cliff and his unwilling sidekick asks what he did to him.
Well, if we're going to quote Commando:
Matrix: "Let off some steam, Bennett."
-After shoving a pipe through the bad guy into a steam vent or something. Classic line. Always makes me laugh.
Is it sad that I really like that movie? I'd forgotten all about it when there was a thread going about favorite bad movies.
Posts: 12266 | Registered: Jul 2005
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I thought all of the "romantic" dialogue in Episode II was awkward and forced. I believed they were in love in Episode III, but that "You're breaking my heart" scene made me cringe.
-pH
*rougish grin* Well its good to know that my charms are so effective. Posts: 1941 | Registered: Dec 2005
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Beastmaster III (or maybe it was two)--where they travel to moder Earth.
The Beastmaster--Betray us witch and I shall cleave your busom in twain.
Witch--Why does everyone want to cleave my busom in twain. I think it cleaves well enough on its own.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Oh, that drove me crazy. I loved the rest of it, but what a lame way to end the movie. And why on earth would that thought make you smile? How did they try to make THAT line a "happy ending"?
Posts: 1522 | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:I truly.... (Audience waits for Padme to say madly, thank goodness she doesn't) .... deeply ..... love you.
You totally stole mine!! That's honestly the first one I thought of and it remains one of the most badly written and most badly delivered lines in the history of filmdom. *shudder*
Isn't it amazing how many of these come from the prequels of Star Wars? Ewan McGregor had to deliver some doozies throughout...and he didn't always do it well. *shudders again*
Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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quote:Originally posted by starLisa: Is it sad that I really like that movie? I'd forgotten all about it when there was a thread going about favorite bad movies.
Not sad at all. That's a perennial favourite amoung my friends on our "Movie we can make fun of but still enjoy" nights.
Posts: 4753 | Registered: May 2002
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Man, I was just about to post about 'Yippee' -- as in, Anakin actually pronounces the word 'yippee.' It's about as jarring and artificial as literally saying "ha ha ha" when you laugh.
Posts: 326 | Registered: Aug 2005
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