Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived, and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met here on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of it as a final resting place for those hamsters who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But in a larger sense we can not dedicate - we can not consecrate - we can not hallow this ground. The brave hamsters, living and dead, who struggled, here, have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but can never forget what they did here.

"Friends, Romans, Hamstermen, lend me your ears!"

"Of all the tunnel joints in all the cages in all the pet store, she walks into mine."

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio, a hamster of infinite
jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath bore me on his wheel a
thousand times, and now how abhorr'd in my imagination it is!
My kibble rises at it."

"Come on everybody it's the human dance."

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elder berries."

"Good morning. In less than an hour, walk-about balls from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest spherical battle in the history of hamsterkind. "Hamsterkind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be nibbling for our freedom... Not from cats, plastic cages, or young children with poor motor control... but from annihilation. We are nibbling for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American hamster holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: 'We will not squeak quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive!' Today we celebrate our Hamsterpendence Day!"

"What are we goin' to do tonight Brain?"
"The same thing we do every night Pinky, try to hamster over the world."

*****

Dash: “Dad says our powers make us hamsters!”
Mom: “Everyone’s a hamster, Dash.”
Dash, muttering: “Which is another way of saying that nobody is.”

2. You must finish what you write.

3. You must refrain from rewriting, except to editorial order.

4. You must put the hamster on the market.