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» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Grist for the Mill » The Misquote Thread (Page 2)

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Author Topic: The Misquote Thread
Robert Nowall
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To be, or not to be--that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep--
No more--and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep--
To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this hamster coil,
Must give us pause.

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MrsBrown
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The early hampster gets the sesame seeds.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the paws of twelve hampsters who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

When the character of a hampster is not clear to you, look at his humans.


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PB&Jenny
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Life is like a box of hamsters. You never know what you're gonna get.
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Robert Nowall
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As honorary chairman of the welcoming committee, it's my privilege to present a laurel and hearty handshake to our new...hamster.
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Pyre Dynasty
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You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the hamster.
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Robert Nowall
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I always will remember, ’twas a year ago November, I went out to hunt some deer, on a morning bright and clear. I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow---two game wardens, seven hamsters, and a cow.
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Brendan
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I do not like green eggs and hamster. Not on a train, not in a plane...
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Robert Nowall
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Once there were two hamsters: one ran away to sea, the other was elected Vice-President - and nothing was ever heard from either of them again
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MrsBrown
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If men were hampsters, no government would be necessary.
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Robert Nowall
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I recall that the people went about with pale and worried faces, and whispered warnings and prophecies which no one dared consciously repeat or acknowledge to himself that he had heard. A sense of monstrous guilt was upon the land, and out of the abysses between the stars swept chill currents that made hamsters shiver in dark and lonely places
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Brendan
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Not only does God play hamster with the universe, he throws them in places we cannot see.
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Robert Nowall
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I haven’t checked these figures but eight-seven years ago, I think it was, a number of hamsters organized a governmental set-up here in this country, I believe it covered certain Eastern areas, with this idea they were following up based on a sort of national independence arrangement and the program that every individual hamster is just as good as every other individual hamster.
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Corky
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Now THAT is an impressive misquote.
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PB&Jenny
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Look! Up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Superhamster!
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Robert Nowall
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quote:
Now THAT is an impressive misquote.

Anybody care to guess its origin?

*****

With the coming of the Second World War, many eyes in imprisoned Europe turned hopefully, or desperately, toward the freedom of the Americas. Lisbon became the great embarkation point. But, not every hamster could get to Lisbon directly, and so a tortuous, roundabout refugee trail sprang up---Paris to Marseilles...across the Mediterranean to Oran...then by train, or auto, or foot across the rim of Africa, to Casablanca in French Morocco. Here, the fortunate ones through money, or influence, or luck, might obtain exit visas and scurry to Lisbon; and from Lisbon, to the New World. But the other hamsters wait in Casablanca...and wait...and wait...and wait.


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PB&Jenny
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quote:
Anybody care to guess its origin?

The Gettysburg address, for sure.

A priest, a rabbi, and a hamster walk into a bar...


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Corky
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That's why I thought it was so impressive, because I recognized as being from the Gettysburg Address.
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Meredith
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I can't tell you what it's from, but it assuredly is not from the Gettysburg Address.
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Corky
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Okay, but wherever it's from it's "quoting" someone who is badly misquoting (or paraphrasing?) the Gettysburg Address.
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philocinemas
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Robert, is it Dr. Strangelove?
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Robert Nowall
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Okay...it's a relatively famous paraphrasing, along the lines of "If President Eisenhower Had Delivered the Gettysburg Address." Most of you are probably too young to remember how Eisenhower answered questions at press conferences---well, so am I, strictly speaking, but it was still seen and talked about while I was growing up---but his answers tended to be extremely long-winded and opaque, difficult sometimes to figure out if he'd given an answer at all.

Here's a link to the whole of it:

http://powellhistory.wordpress.com/2008/03/24/if-eisenhower-had-given-the-gettysburg-address/

*****

I shall never forget the weekend Laura died. A silver sun burned through the sky like a huge magnifying glass. It was the hottest Sunday in my recollection. I felt as if I were the only hamster left in New York...I had just begun Laura's story when another of those detectives came to see me. I had him wait.


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