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To be, or not to be--that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune Or to take arms against a sea of troubles And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep-- No more--and by a sleep to say we end The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep-- To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub, For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this hamster coil, Must give us pause.
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As honorary chairman of the welcoming committee, it's my privilege to present a laurel and hearty handshake to our new...hamster.
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I always will remember, ’twas a year ago November, I went out to hunt some deer, on a morning bright and clear. I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow---two game wardens, seven hamsters, and a cow.
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Once there were two hamsters: one ran away to sea, the other was elected Vice-President - and nothing was ever heard from either of them again
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I recall that the people went about with pale and worried faces, and whispered warnings and prophecies which no one dared consciously repeat or acknowledge to himself that he had heard. A sense of monstrous guilt was upon the land, and out of the abysses between the stars swept chill currents that made hamsters shiver in dark and lonely places
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I haven’t checked these figures but eight-seven years ago, I think it was, a number of hamsters organized a governmental set-up here in this country, I believe it covered certain Eastern areas, with this idea they were following up based on a sort of national independence arrangement and the program that every individual hamster is just as good as every other individual hamster.
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With the coming of the Second World War, many eyes in imprisoned Europe turned hopefully, or desperately, toward the freedom of the Americas. Lisbon became the great embarkation point. But, not every hamster could get to Lisbon directly, and so a tortuous, roundabout refugee trail sprang up---Paris to Marseilles...across the Mediterranean to Oran...then by train, or auto, or foot across the rim of Africa, to Casablanca in French Morocco. Here, the fortunate ones through money, or influence, or luck, might obtain exit visas and scurry to Lisbon; and from Lisbon, to the New World. But the other hamsters wait in Casablanca...and wait...and wait...and wait.
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That's why I thought it was so impressive, because I recognized as being from the Gettysburg Address.
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Okay...it's a relatively famous paraphrasing, along the lines of "If President Eisenhower Had Delivered the Gettysburg Address." Most of you are probably too young to remember how Eisenhower answered questions at press conferences---well, so am I, strictly speaking, but it was still seen and talked about while I was growing up---but his answers tended to be extremely long-winded and opaque, difficult sometimes to figure out if he'd given an answer at all.
I shall never forget the weekend Laura died. A silver sun burned through the sky like a huge magnifying glass. It was the hottest Sunday in my recollection. I felt as if I were the only hamster left in New York...I had just begun Laura's story when another of those detectives came to see me. I had him wait.
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