Uncle Orson Reviews 1996 • Uncle Orson Reviews 1996 Favorite Books • Contemporary Issues • Mysteries • History and Culture • Books for Writers Magazine Subscriptions • Magazines that make it a good mail day • On the Downside • Comic Strips Television Picks and Pukes • Favorite Comedies • Favorite Dramas • Favorite Miniseries • Favorite Talk Shows • Favorite Cable Channels • Shows Which Are Much Better Than I Ever Expected • Shows That Are Probably As Good As Ever But I Just Don't Care Anymore • Shows I Once Liked Which Are Hurtling Toward Well-Deserved Death Movies • Regrets and Disappointment • Favorites of the Year • Acting Awards

My whole review of "Mars Attacks" can consist of this sentence: Tim Burton creates aliens who come to Earth and kill everybody that Burton despises and perform every perverted experiment that he would like to perform, thereby proving conclusively that the proper audience for a Tim Burton film does not include human beings.