quote:So apparently you can tell just by looking at someone that they're working on it.
Sure, my chubby teenage nieces got Dance Dance Revolution for Christmas, and when I saw them yesterday, they both appeared to be in a lot better shape. (You have to look at someone TWICE)
Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Perhaps being somewhat new to this forum I missed the bridge on this one. Maybe someone can help me reject my widely held belief that 149 people wasted a lot of time talking about "fatness".
Perhaps Mr. Card's idea was to change our paradigm about how we treat each other and how we can utilize a new tool (whatever!) to get over it and get on with life without looking for unnecessary baggage to carry around.
Translated: instead of getting upset and ruining your day becasue of the way you are perceived, just say "whatever" and move on.
Kinda like supercalifragilousanexpealidocious but a lot shorter and without the music and penguins.
So, I sleep under a bridge and eat soup--whatever.
Hey, it works!
Posts: 65 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
I think the root of all this is that we shouldn't be making character judgements on other people.
I just got done this morning explaining to a 6, 8 and 10-year-old that we should hold ourselves to very strict rules without holding anyone else to those rules. Your brother stole your book? That doesn't matter - you are not to steal, to hit, to scream. You've been good all day, so why should he be the one who gets to go to a birthday party? Because he does not figure in to your equation.
It is holding ourselves to the higher standard that makes us generous, forgiving human beings, while at the same time not excusing our own weaknesses and stagnating in our own progression. I am fatter than I need to be, and I need to work on that to improve my own health, and yes, my own character. But I'm not going to apply those standards to anyone else, because that is not my place. No social good comes of me determining that someone else is lacking.
Posts: 285 | Registered: Apr 2005
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The other night I got a phone call asking me to help the neighbor move. I took off work early the next day and started helping to load the trailer. I didn't see my neighbor and wanted to know where he was. "Oh, he checked into a motel." They hadn't even begun to box things up. Does it help to know that the dude weighs 400 lbs?
Bad experiences add up, and I'm not getting any stupider.
Watching pizza disappear was the worst though.
Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I have mixed feelings about this. Now, I could stand to lose a bit of waistline myself, but I'm not fat - just a little pudgy and not very muscular. A level of fat that doesn't show through clothing is just going to have to be lived with, I think : Our lifestyle is more sedentary than our plains-living ancestors', and this is a fact that won't go away.
And then I walk about campus and I see people of nineteen who waddle as they walk, who are easily a meter across the hips. People you could roll along the corridor! I was utterly shocked when I came here a year ago and realised what the 'obesity epidemic' was all about. I had been envisioning a nation of people a little fatter than me. Not a nation of teddy bears!
Now, certainly there are people who can legitimately blame their genetics; but come on, there aren't this many. And when a character flaw gets to the point that it is actively threatening your health, I think others have a right to judge. Would we withhold judgment on someone who consistently drove while drunk?
There is also this : Humans are programmed to look for healthy, attractive mates. Beyond a certain level, fat is highly unhealthy. I don't think any public awareness campaign is going to be able to deal with this fundamental fact.
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Sure there are people who have only themselves to blame for being overweight. The point is, you can't tell by looking. It's called giving them the benefit of the doubt.
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quote:Would we withhold judgment on someone who consistently drove while drunk?
We judge them because driving while drunk is a danger to the public - and it affects more than just the drinker.
The fact that I'm overweight doesn't affect you in any way, it doesn't put you in any type of danger. I'm not even adding to the high cost of healthcare or medical insurance - I've never been treated by the doctor for a weight-related problem - I don't have high cholesterol, high blood pressure, or diabetes.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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quote:There is also this : Humans are programmed to look for healthy, attractive mates. Beyond a certain level, fat is highly unhealthy. I don't think any public awareness campaign is going to be able to deal with this fundamental fact.
Being too thin is also unhealthy, but it is portrayed as attractive anyway. If pudginess were also portrayed as attractive, for many people it would become so.
Posts: 751 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
I think that the thinness portrayed as the ideal is still healthy - in the thinnest part of that range, certainly, but not actively dangerous. Nobody portrays starvation victims as ideals of beauty. Likewise, pudginess is one thing; I was talking about genuine obesity.
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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Most definitely, mph. While I find a decent number of skinny people attractive, I find the body type I am most attracted to is not the really skinny variety, but one with more curves.
Furthermore, I am somewhat annoyed at the media for mostly excluding my ideas of attractiveness in what they choose to broadcast for salacious consumption.
edit: mainly talking about romantic comedies here, which I rather like, particularly the ones that are more witty, as opposed to the mostly body humor ones (for instance, 50 First Dates good, Along Came Polly not so good).
posted
I always felt entitled to eat however I want, until middle child came along and was on the pudgy side, and I realized that our eating habits can be akin to second hand smoke. Now, don't take offense because you might never have made a meal out of a bag of chocolate chips, a can of condensed sweetened milk, a block of cream cheese, and a graham cracker crust. You might lack my imagination for food porn. But for me, I knew I was out of control and needed to stop.
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quote: They hadn't even begun to box things up. Does it help to know that the dude weighs 400 lbs?
Bad experiences add up, and I'm not getting any stupider.
Okay, I don't quite get what you're saying, here. I don't weigh anywhere near 400, but I hover around 300 -- and I've loaded my own moving vans, thank you very much.
Are you implying that there's some magic point around 350 pounds, perhaps, at which I'd start asking people to help me move without showing up myself?
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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quote:The fact that I'm overweight doesn't affect you in any way
The broken sofa in my living room is a constant reminder of an overweight visitor. Paying full fare for an airline seat that is shared by an overweight passenger is only a temporary incovenience.
Yeah TomD, I think there is a magic number, which if you cross, you start to become a burden on others. However, I've seen some 400-pound guys who more than compensate for their weight with muscular strength. I guess the owner of the body has to decide where that invisible line is.
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quote:Paying full fare for an airline seat that is shared by an overweight passenger is only a temporary incovenience.
I stick up for myself in those situations. They give me too little leg room as it is, I'm not giving up the ability to put my shoulders back against the seat.
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quote: I think that the thinness portrayed as the ideal is still healthy
The problem with that assumption is that what is healthy for one is not healthy for another. Take the fairly arbitrary idea of having one's ribs showing. I have quite a few friends who are healthy, yet when they raise their arms, I can count their ribs. I, on the other hand, if I was at a weight at which you could count my ribs, would be in danger of dying of starvation/malnutrition, what have you.
By saying that people who are overweight choose to be so is unfair. Some people choose not to exercise, and not to consider their weight an issue for themselves. Some people choose to eat unhealthily, causing themselves cholesterol and weight problems.
quote: I should be clear. I don't have a problem with obese people who notice their obesity and are on a reasonable plan to do something concerning it. This is one of those areas where intentions count, in my book, for a great deal.
I'm gonna call BS on this one. You just said that if you see an overweight person on the street, you assume that they are not taking care of themselves and that that is why they are overweight. If what you mean by this is that people you have an association with are OK in your book if they are trying to control their weight and diet, then I'm sure the obese persons in your life are heartily thankful for the fact that you approve of them. ( )
I agree with your second point, however. I also call BS on the pro-fat website FAT! SO? (warning, bare butts). It hasn't been updated in quite some time, but still represents something fundamentally squicky to me. The "advice column" has a letter from a woman who complains that her thighs rub together when she walks, ruining her jeans regularly. The "columnist" advises that the writer sew leather patches between her thighs, and secondly says, "try spending more time engaged in activities that don't require your thighs to meet."
The innuendo I don't mind, but the idea that this person needs to spend more time sitting chafes me.
I agree with you on that point, Irami. I will also tell you that I don't feel qualified to judge your soul, or your personality in general, from this one aspect of yourself. But that doesn't mean that I'll just sit back and allow you to spout hateful, hypocritical opinions.
Posts: 4816 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
I like Irami; he always keeps us honest. I think he brings up good points. And Irami, if you remember, I started the "pretty" thread a long time ago precisely because it disturbed me that my genetic appearance made me stand out - whether for favor or disfavor. And yes, I've grown some since then. But I'd still rather have people like/judge me for my personal qualities than my appearance.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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I've only seen him post things that were hateful, condescending, judging, and downright mean and spiteful. I wonder, sometimes, what makes him so angry and hateful. But then I realize that I can't be bothered to waste my time on someone who's so negative about so many things. If Irami could manage honest without hate, anger, and meanness, then I could tolerate him a lot better. Oh well.
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
I don't see Irami as hateful. I see him as ruthlessly honest - with himself more than anyone else. He says what he thinks and feels, and his standards are incredibly high. He comes across as harsh and unfeeling, but his integrity demands that he not soften his stance to cater to social preferences. And his opinions/positions are valid and worthy of examination. Irami's perspective is valuable, more so because it often goes against the grain.
I have often been hurt by Irami, but only because he is a knife-person. By this I mean that he doesn't mince words, and often speaks truths that are hard to hear. But I love him and treasure his perspective deeply. Like I said, he keeps me honest.
But at any rate, this thread isn't about any one person. I think we need to cut the boy some slack, and address his points instead of his personality. Calling someone "hateful", etc., is a really effective way of avoiding the issues brought up. A mild "I disagree" actually does more to invalidate a post than getting emotionally disturbed. And there are two great ways to honor a post: one is to debate it, and the other is to flame it. Either way gives it a lot of attention.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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posted
Shame for me is generally a de-motivator. It paralyzes and causes hopelessness. The only reason I exercise now is that I've found something I enjoy, not because I was worried about being fat (I'm 150 pounds and nearly 5'4", if you care to condemn me for edging just over the government's guidelines for people of my height). I think that constant worrying about what other people will think of me, self-hatred, and an obsession with food and exercise are more unhealthy than those extra ten pounds I'm carrying around.
If shame over one's weight is a motivator toward a more healthy lifestyle, fine. But I have my doubts that it is, especially since many, many overweight people are ashamed of their bodies (and many who are of a healthy weight or even underweight are also ashamed, which I consider to be a direct result of the shame we heap on truly overweight people). Should those who are overweight be encouraged to form more healthy habits? Of course! I think that we can all work on something, whether it's healthier eating habits or quitting smoking or being kinder to others. I just don't think that shame and hatred are proper motivators for encouraging anyone to become a better person.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Shigosei, I couldn't agree more. Shame seems like bullying to me. I prefer to manipulate people by smiling and telling them how good they will feel or how much fun they will have. It works for me!
I mean, if I can get my daughter's friends to scrub my floors and snap beans just by presenting it as a fun activity... It doesn't work to tell the kids they SHOULD help. I just ask, nicely and with an expectation that they WILL say yes, and offer a positive reward (then we'll have time to watch a movie, you can take some beans home to your family). How much could people accomplish if they focused on the positive things they want in life rather than dwelling on the negative?
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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posted
Thanks for saying that, Jenny, since that's pretty much how I interpreted Irami's posts. I actually think people are very slightly misreading Irami's posts (because they can fairly easily be taken as being hateful) and Irami himself doesn't seem to quite see where he's saying things that can be misinterpreted. Kinda talking past each other a teensy bit.
I don't think he ever said that he hates fat people regardless of their individual cases and they should all be judged as inferior specimens of the human race. I think he's saying that people who really are extremely obese for no reason other than they don't get off their butts should be called on the fact that it is their fault that they are overweight. I agree with him (if indeed I am interpreting him correctly).
I do, however, think Irami is using the word "sight" too generally in this case. He said he could tell by "looking" at a person whether they were obese by choice, when I think it would be clearer to say that when he interacts with someone who is obese by their own choice of lifestyle, he does judge them to be gluttonous or whatever. I don't think this means that he walks down the street looking at the fat people and covering them with a vitrolic spew of callous categorizations of the worth of their character. In fact, I think it makes him merely honest about his values; everyone passes SOME sort of judgement over everything, or we'd have no ethics at all, and I don't think judgement in that sense is a bad word. I don't think Irami automatically ASSUMES that an obese person is a self-absorbed glutton. This is, however, again a case of his clarity, not intent.
I think Irami recognizes that no matter HOW active some people are, they're never going lose their weight because of genetic factors or body types or whatever. He's saying that (after he interacts with an obese person) when he reasons that they are unhealthy precisely beCAUSE of their choices, that it is indeed an indication of their character and priorities.
(Feel free to jump in here and tell me if I'm making you out to be too much of a saint, though, Irami. )
Lack of tone of voice can hurt clarity as well. I didn't read his posts as a haughty, arrogant, condescending, or holier-than-thou, I read them as very strong opinions voiced in a reasonable, calm tone of voice, which is what I hope y'all are reading *my* posts as.
I used to be pretty dang chubby. You couldn't even see my adam's apple because it was buried under too many layers of skin. I'm pretty reasonably fit now, and that's due almost entirely to getting myself together and working out. Which I enjoy doing, when I make the time. And, yes, the motivating factors were shame that I was living an unhealthy lifestyle that would make me keel over before I was fifty, and annoyance that my pants wouldn't fit. *grin*
So. Hopefully I helped unmuddy the waters a bit? I don't think Irami has an ugly soul, if he believes in 'em. And I disagree with him on many things (his "dude" comments on other threads, for instance, heh), so I don't think I'm trying to suck up to him. But I don't think he's been treated quite fairly here, and though he's perfectly capable of defending himself, in this case perhaps an outside party might help calm things down?
Of ocurse, I might be giving him too much credit. One never knows, I suppose. This is coming from the guy with a million posts in the hug thread, after all.
Edit: Also, I type way the heck too slowly. Jenny, I was referencing your post before Shig's, not the one right before this one *laugh*.
I don't think shame should be a PRIMARY motivating force for someone; the beneficial results of whatever you're trying to motivate yourself to do should be the ideal goal. However, I think it does no good to sugarcoat things to the point where people are absolved of feeling no shame whatsoever if indeed what they are feeling bad about is something one SHOULD feel bad about.
Edit numbah dos: not that I'm arguing with Shig, though, when in her case the shame becomes paralyzing. That's definitely not good or beneficial. I guess...moderation in all things, even the bad?
posted
I do. I still stick by it, but I'm not basing it only on the comments in thise thread. I suppose I could take it down if people are terribly offended.
Condemning those who are overweight is like condemning those who are poor. Student loans are available to everyone, and it is possible to major in things that generate a good income, and so being poor is obviously a choice and a sign of deficient moral character. Families rarely remain wealthy for more than two or three generations, so most millionaires are self-made millionaires. In order to earn that much money, work must be done, often creative and since most millionaires own their own business, clearly those are the ones who possess the work ethic and the self-discipline to devote their resources and energy into employing people and building society.
Since earning money and creating the infrastructure that allows other people to live is a morally good activity, doing otherwise when that is possible is an immoral activity. Anyone can do it, so not doing is a sign of depravity. Therefore, poor people are poor by choice and prove their lack of self-discipline and work ethic, and are therefore immoral.
---
This isn't outlandish. There is a long history of money earned being a sign of virtue, and it takes self-discipline and dedication to put yourself in a position of earning that much money. There are exceptions, but about as many exceptions in that direction as there are people who would always be skinny no matter what their lifestyle.
But there are only so many hours in a day and so much dedication to spread around. You can choose to preen your vanity and spend all your time on your body as a creation, or you can spend it building businesses and society to allows other people to spend all their time devoting themself to their body. OSC was right in saying that being in physically perfect condition in our society now takes money and leisure.
Posts: 1163 | Registered: Jan 2005
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"I see him as ruthlessly honest - with himself more than anyone else."
Hm. I, too, see Irami as ruthlessly honest, but disagree that he is more honest with himself than with others. Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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"I think it's interesting that on every controversial thread, someone's character gets called into question."
I'm not surprised. What makes something controversial is that, one way or another, it's a character judgement.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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quote:There is a long history of money earned being a sign of virtue, and it takes self-discipline and dedication to put yourself in a position of earning that much money. There are exceptions, but about as many exceptions in that direction as there are people who would always be skinny no matter what their lifestyle.
Sometimes I talk about lapses in my american social education, and I think this is one of them. What you see "a long history," I see as an inappropriate WASP fetish, born from a historically timely mix of protestantism and utilitarianism in England, coming over on the Mayflower, taking seed in our fertile soil, and proliferating like that virus in Speaker of the Dead. I think I'm innoculated such disease because I know the evil of other such vices with a "long history."
You can look at wealth as a sign of fortitude in character, and I'll continue to see obesity as a little suspicious, and taken to the extreme, you can look at enormous wealth as a sign of Godliness and I'll continue to see morbid obesity as a severe problem, and maybe we are both right, and maybe we are both wrong, or maybe it's a mix. But I'm going to keep arguing against drives to make fat cool. ________
As to the rest:
quote:What makes something controversial is that, one way or another, it's a character judgement.
That's the exact reason I don't mind attacks on my character. At least it gets people talking and thinking with the morally relevant issues.
___ Edit: Jenny,
I don't have a problem with you being hot. If anything, it adds to the morale of the great state of Indiana.
posted
A respect for health, not a respect for wealth.
If I had a choice between spending a weekend with twenty of the healthiest sixty year-olds in the US and twenty of the wealthiest sixty year-olds in the US, I'd go for health. I think that there may be more wisdom in mining their habits, and understanding their motivations.
posted
I'm curious as to how many people who have taken offense to Iramis post are actually "morbidly obese". I'm not taking a poll here. But I've looked up as many peoples pictures as I could on foobonic, and paid attention to how people describe themselves, and I have not seen or heard ONE person who truly seems to be way overweight. They may view themselves that way, and they may indeed be considered obese by todays health standards. But most people seem to be taking offense because of the way they view themselves, and how they IMAGINE Irami would view them if they met in person. This is such a consistent theme in our society. We judge ourselves so much more harshly than others do, for the most part. Not that there isnt the occasional a**hole out there who will mock you for whatever makes you different from them(skillery, I'm thinking about your tasteless pizza and fat people remarks right now). But most people have more empathy than that. Think of all the supportive comments, compared to the negative comments on this thread alone. I was talking to a friend of mine last night about this thread, and we got to talking about how we judge ourselves. I have had moments in the past where a 14 year old boy would say something nasty about my appearance, and I would go home and cry. How others viewed me meant so much to me that I allowed myself to be hurt by an ignorant, bratty little kid. I can laugh at that now, but I'm still paranoid about how others percieve me, and weight is a big part of that perception. But everybody I have ever talked to honestly about it has said that they dont percieve me as overweight. I'm 5ft9, and I weigh anywere from 190 to 210, depending. I have boobs that contribute to what feels like half that weight, but I still look at my body and say "ugh... nasty, flabby ickiness". I will walk down the street, and if I get any positive attention, I assume the guy is staring at my breasts and I call him a jerk. My boyfriend tells me he thinks I'm gorgeous, and I giggle uncomfortably and change the subject quickly. I dont want to accuse him of lying, but in my heart of hearts, I know he must be. But all of this is coming from no one but myself. My self perception is what makes me feel uncomfortable and ugly. I cant go blaming my parents, or the kids in school who called me tubby, or the numerous men who dont find me attractive enough to stare at lasciviously. How I feel about myself is totally controlled by me.
I dont really give a good damn how Irami would judge me if I ever saw him on the street. He is entitled to his views, as I am to mine. If he ever said something nasty, that would be one thing, but I cant imagine he would. And everything he has said in this discussion has been impersonal and, yes, very honest. That is all well and good. He can judge others for their lack of strength, and I can pity him for his seeming lack of empathy. But his view will not be allowed to affect how I look at myself. I can only say that I hope the same goes for everyone who has felt offended by what others have said on this topic. The only thing that really matters is how you view yourself. You could be 100lbs over weight, and still be immensly attractive because that is how you percieve yourself to be. It used to drive me crazy, going out with my mom, because she would get all these guys hitting on her. She views herself as an earth goddess, and thats how men look at her. The older I get, the more I try to emulate that additude. And it really works.
Posts: 499 | Registered: Mar 2004
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"But I've looked up as many peoples pictures as I could on foobonic, and paid attention to how people describe themselves, and I have not seen or heard ONE person who truly seems to be way overweight."
posted
I'm definitel overweight and it's not just my perception.
And I recognize and know it's not the most healthy way to live, and I'm working on it.
The thing that bothers me about snap judgments based on appearances is you have no idea where someone really is.
For example, if you saw somone who was 5'3" and 180 pounds, you may think to yourself "that's a lazy, gluttonous pig who doesn't care about herself."
But what if a year ago she had weighed 300 pounds? Doesn't that change things? Suddenly she's not a lazy gluttonous pig but someone who does care about her body and is working hard to improve it.
At first glance, you cannot know that. So, assumptions based on appearances are, to me, rude, insensitive, and bigoted.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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quote:If I had a choice between spending a weekend with twenty of the healthiest people in the US and twenty of the wealthiest people in the US, I might go for health. I think that there may be more wisdom in mining their habits.
Actually, I'd bet alot that neither the 20 healthiest nor the 20 wealthiest people have a lot of practical advice, because the extremes are less likely to have advice usable by the average person.
There are a legion of bad habits that prevent accumulation of wealth. There are a legion of things beyond a person's control that prevent accumulation of wealth.
There are a legion of bad habits that prevent maintenance of good health. There are a legion of things beyond a person's control that prevent maintenance of good health.
Nope. I coast on a certain amount of charisma and a truly palpable ego, but I'm afraid that "handsome" doesn't really apply. I'm shaped like a beachball.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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quote:Actually, I'd bet alot that neither the 20 healthiest nor the 20 wealthiest people have a lot of practical advice, because the extremes are less likely to have advice usable by the average person.
Excellent point, Dag.
I'd rather just spend a weekend with my husband, sans kids. Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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quote: But I'm going to keep arguing against drives to make fat cool.
I'm not pushing to make fat cool. I'm saying what it seems to me that foundling is saying. With opinions like the ones you're expressing as the majority in social interactions right now, even people who are healthy feel bad about themselves. Even people who are underweight feel like they need to lose weight. With people who are skinny glorified, anorexia has spiraled out of control.
Posts: 4816 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
Tom, you are plenty handsome, but that's not the issue. The issue is whether you really want all of that weight around your heart in 20 years.
Ryuko,
Maybe anorexia is spiraling out of control, but from my vantage, I see the brunt of the problem being beer, fast food, cheese, no vegtables, and people feeling entitled to sit around. And yeah, I think OSC is pushing to make fat cool, but through back door "pudgy."
posted
I thought OSCs whole point was to change the image of "healthy" back to "actually healthy."
The standard of how big the "world" says our bodies should be is much smaller than what is healthy for a lot of people.
I don't think anybody was saying that fat should be cool. But what really bothers me is that a curvy, healthy woman is made to feel fat because she's not a calista flockhart, lora flynn boyle, etc. Women are supposed to have curves--they're not supposed to be sticks.
Remember that movie with Minnie Driver and Chris O'Donnell? (Circle of Friends--had to look it up) I remember being totally shocked that hollywood was making a big deal about her weight. She looked awesome! Also, Kate Winslet in Titanic was a great, curvy leading lady. These women were normal. I thought it was great.
There's a point where extra weight is unhealthy and it is different for everyone. That's not "cool." But that doesn't mean they wanted it that way or that they're just lazy slobs. There have been enough stories on this thread to the contrary to prove that you just can never know.
I think everyone should shoot for a healthy weight. Whatever that turns out to be.
posted
*sigh* My father is a fitness fanatic. I remember when my mother was thin. I remember when she got heavier. I remember why she got heavy (she was raising and homeschooling their three children). I remember him nagging her for *years* about her weight, because he wanted her to "be healthy".
I remember going home after a year of two brutal semesters of school and having my father tell me *I* was getting fat and needed to watch myself. (I thought I could always stay thin enough he wouldn't nag me like he did Mom.) I laughed at him because in reality I was thinner than I was before, however I had lost muscle tone which was why I'd lost weight. I agree pale and gaunt doesn't equal healthy, but it doesn't equal "fat" either.
I had several major illnesses two years ago, in the span of 6 months. After that I gained almost 30 lbs. I've managed to lose 20 of it. My BMI is 25. Yet one of the things I'm dreading about visiting my family in CA, this year, is having my father tell me I'm fat, because I don't have the muscle tone I had when I was 16.
posted
Wow. I'm sorry, AJ. My father's bothered me about my weight before... In fact, he almost got me a subscription to Weight Watchers for Christmas. Luckily my mom stopped him before he made that particular mistake. But he's never been that bothersome about it. He prefers to reserve his nagging for other things.
posted
Incidentally now that we can all drive and my mother isn't playing "mommy taxicab" she and my dad have started biking again and she had more time to cook things specifically for her metabolism, rather than the bulk carb meals my brothers require because they are atheletes, the weight melted off of her.
posted
My dad has too, and he did it when I was much more slender than I am now, right after I'd lost fifteen pounds by almost starving myself for seven months.
I couldn't exercise for almost a year after a car accident, and that coincided with the start of my first desk job and the beginning of commuting, so the incidental exercise went to almost nil. I don't have to imagine what my family says about me.
posted
My seven year old is overweight - according to the charts.
She is very, very heavy, try picking her up and you'll see. The pediatrician told me she is one of the kids in which the charts mean nothing. They're of value only to track her growth over time, but they don't indicate her current situation.
She is a gymnast, and is extremely active - on the afternoons she's not at the gym she's outside riding her bike or her scooter or running and playing. She is *not* skinny by any means - but has a lot of muscle and weighs a lot because of it.
I cannot stand the attitudes that so many people have (like your dad, AJ) that weight is of value in judging someone's health. Yeah, I know it's impossible to tell at a glance that my blood pressure is low, my cholesterol is in normal ranges, and I have no health concerns right now. It is easier to tell look at me and say "Wow, she needs to lose weight."
People who are of normal weight can be unhealthy. People who are overweight can be healthy. I know it's impossible for visual creatures like us not to judge people by appearances, but it still makes me crazy.
I don't want Emily to find one of those charts, weigh herself, and think she's fat. Same story with my oldest daughter, who is extremely confident with her weight and looks. She is, however, faced with friends who aren't. She has 12 year old classmates who eat Lean Cuisine for lunch and constantly moan about how fat they are. Natalie and I were discussing it the other day and she's concerned about her friends - she said to me "I'm worried about Rebecca mom - she thinks she's fat and I don't think she is. She's skinnier than me, and I love my body. I just wish she would be happier with herself."
I wanted to cry - just to hear my 12 year old say she loved her body. Her only complaint is that she wishes she were taller, but with a 5'3" mom and a 5"6 Dad, she's not got much hope of being tall.
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