posted
I'm not sure who. And I'm not sure how. but my train of thought, wild as it is, was not mine about 30 minutes ago. I was thinking thoughts that I wouldn't think and was feeling emotions that weren't mine. I can only relate this to the connection between Ender and the Buggers. I'm not on drugs other than multivitamins, and don't claim I can speak to ghosts or any such nonsense. But I know somewhere out or up there, this is someones story. I knew it must be shared and recorded for all the world to see so...
For whoever's story this is...
My sights on his head. He is a finger pull from death. "He wants to kill you," I say. "He's an alien, incapable of love and deserves to die. He aims at a friend. I pull.
Politicians greet me. They thank me. they say my sacrifice will never be forgotten. What about his. I didn't even realized I screamed that until I saw the looks on their faces.
My little girl is so happy to see me. My wife is in tears. We embrace. but i'm a shell. Hours pass like minutes and I'm in bed. I don't know how but I'm dreaming, soon. Sleep. A luxury a soldier can't afford. But it's not like I remember sleep. I see 2 corpses. I recognize one. It's him. The only casualtie of war I care about. The other one takes me longer to recognize, but it's me. And his daughter, dirty and weak and bloodstained walks to the 2 bodies. But she falls down in grief over mine. Why? Does she not know what that's doing to me. She screams but I can't hear her. She buries her head in my chest and shakes with tears. I can't stand it. And my own daughter comes. She looks at my bodie, then at me, or I guess the ghost of me. Then she kneels down and comforts the weeping girl. I try to die, but I just wake up, in my own bed, soaked in sweat.
Months pass. My wife is weary. She tries to help me but I don't want it. How could I let her feel my terrors. Every night, I learn more and more about my victims life. His wife was ill but recovering thanks to some miracle. His daughter went to school, and watched tv, and played dress up with make shift dolls. And then It would change to after his death with his wife barely alive and his daughter taking care of her alone, and misreble.
The doctor explains why the days pass so quickly. Unknown to me until now, I'm actually an alchoholic now. My wife is gone, I don't know where. My daughter's gone. And all I'm left with is his dying wife and depressed daughter. Every night without fail. The only time I think to kill myself is when I'm asleep. And all that happens is I wake up.
I go to the shrink. He puts me into hypnosis. It feels like I'm dreaming again, but I can see my hands and legs. I can feel my heart beating. I haven't had a body in a 1000 years. And there she is. His daughter. I start to cry, but hold on just long enough to tell her how sorry I am. And, she hugs me. And I hug her back. And I start to smile, and cry harder. And the longer I hug her the weaker and slower my heart beats until....
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