posted
No snorting necessary. If a romantic relationship is built on purely intellectual pursuits, it will fail.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
>> Ah, but when you meet that man who is interested not so much in you in a pair of Calvin Kleins as you in a philosophical debate, that's the really attractive part. <<
As Tom said, it's best to be interested in both.
But so far, interestingly, the only time I've come upon both of those things at once is my brief interlude with Train Cutie #1 from one of my old threads, and she was nine years my senior.
Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
My younger brother's wife is 10 years older than he, and they are perfect for each other.
Posts: 2843 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
| IP: Logged |
quote:Ah, but when you meet that man who is interested not so much in you in a pair of Calvin Kleins as you in a philosophical debate, that's the really attractive part.
I've met exactly four like this. I miss them. *wistful*
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
As if you didn't know, Twinky, Kat would fit the bill for you nicely there... I can't speak for the reverse though...
I would like to go on record as supporting Slash and Irami in the "women generally look best later on" movement. I think women look their best in their early 40's, for the most part.
Posts: 2112 | Registered: Sep 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
I'm dating a guy 8 years older than I am. We have common levels of education, physical fitness, literacy and silliness. I honestly wouldn't notice the age difference if it didn't sometimes come up in conversation about things we remember...his "'way back when" is slightly further back than mine, and that's about it.
Posts: 471 | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
I personally find women that are 31, extremly attractive, especially ones from virginia that now live in Arizona and is married to me.
Posts: 1244 | Registered: Apr 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
I also think that the older both parties get, the less age matters...a 10-year difference in your 20s/30s is less so in your 60s/70s and beyond...
Posts: 471 | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged |
quote: Legality aside Thor if you were married you would feel sick to your stomach talking about waiting till a young women turned the right legal age.
Besides what happens to you guys when the women who is 18 turns 30???? Do you drop her for another young one???? Seems a little shallow even for Thor.
I'm not married, and I'm sorry if it grosses you out that I waited patiently for natalie portman to turn 18. To me it's not really that bizarre. As a father, I'd be more stomach turned by the fact 66.6% of mother's and father's daughters end up in a broken marriage, not the fact that there are men out there who find some younger girls attractive, take the case of Kim Smith, a model from Houston. She was modeling in Men's Magazines at age 16. Her body was 21 at that age.
Or, take the case of Avril Lavigne, I've got a big old school crush on her, and did when she was 17, or take the first launch of Britney Spears, I believe she was 17.
I'm sorry if this turns your stomach, or makes you think that I'm shallow, I don't think I am, and I do believe that after being a hopeless romantic that is now scorched earth after countless devestated relationships, I'm keeping 10,000 miles from the nearest female.
My romantic relationships now all consist of cruches from a far away dreamland, nothing more.
quote: It's funny, Thor, but I had a weird dream once that you would be the type to love a series of young girls and discard them one by one. My first hatrack dream. <laughs> Write me if you're interested in hearing my dream.
I'm not a love and leave 'em type guy, and I've never thought of myself as a player. I'm ALWAYS looking for love. That's what I want, Love and a Deep, Deep very honest and loyal friendship.
Ak - I'll write you soon, I'd love to hear more details of your dream.
I'm not shallow. If anything, I consider myself deeply wounded, possibly beyond repair.
I'm stuck between my parents tragic divorce and the relationships that have died in my life. I do believe I've had about 10 girls swear they loved me and would stay with me forever.
I don't understand the people who don't believe that physical attraction is a part of the Love. I do wish that all people could find and love someone Honest, Cool, Smart, Wise, and Honorable AND ATTRACTIVE to fall in love with...
If you are going to spend your life with someone, I think it's only right to love someone who you are spiritually, mentally and PHYSICALLY attracted to...
Yes, I know that after my 50's the physical part will go away, but what about the next 20 years of my life when my Hormonal Nuclear Engines are revving at full speeeddddddd?
posted
Don't get me wrong. I just happen to like the way smart fit 35 year olds look in a pair of jeans. If every woman were Susan Sarandon in Bull Durham, life would be a dream.
posted
Thor, experience tells me that being 50 has nothing to do with diminished capacity. Look forward to decades of happy escapades, my friend.
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged |
quote: I don't understand the people who don't believe that physical attraction is a part of the Love. I do wish that all people could find and love someone Honest, Cool, Smart, Wise, and Honorable AND ATTRACTIVE to fall in love with...
Joseph Campbell stated that, for the Troubadors, Love and the act of making love were inseparable. Witness: Tristan and Isolde .
Just here to throw gas on the fire.... Posts: 2506 | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Tolstoy was mid forties when he married for the first time, and his wife was a teenager. Of course you can't say things exactly worked out so great for them. Still "Family Happiness" is one of my favorite stories of all time. It was when I first learned that there are men who can fall in love as I do. His description of it was too accurate for me to doubt that he too had experienced it.
Then Dostoyevsky captured it again in "The Little Hero". This time with a young man and an older woman. That's probably my favorite ever Dostoyevsky story and it's out of print! I haven't been able to find it anywhere.
I know people think my age-indifference is weird but trying to understand other people's age-prejudice, I really get baffled. It's just not something I can feel, no matter how I try. For me it's all about the person, who they are.
Posts: 2843 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
| IP: Logged |
posted
How about "Harold and Maude," one of my favorite all time movies? Now, that was an age difference.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
lambda = wavelength I used to use the expression too but then I realized that no one but science-physics geeks could understand me, not entirely bad, but when you already have older guys intimidated because you clobber them at calculus somtimes being less of a geek doesn't hurt.
posted
Sounds like you got four years with the gal, Thor. Maybe 3.5 years of total bliss. That's passed, time to get on with it. Sounds like you're only hurting yourself.
Try taking yourself a little less seriously. You wear your broken heart on your sleeve, pal. Fix it up, put it back where it belongs and move FORWARD.
Calling oneself a romantic and then wallowing in self pity (maybe i'll never find love, maybe i'll never be married) is a lot like claiming to be the best script writer in the world without having your scripts out there in the hands of real producers.
Earth to Planet Silverblue... reality check. Make things real by your own positive actions, not by stewing in your own negatives thoughts.
Posts: 2848 | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
And let us not forget the homage paid to katharina, who is young and beautiful ... but under no circumstances twit-headed, shallow, or even remotely less than a force to be reckoned with.
Yeah, I got hope for you, Thor. *poke, poke
You got some good taste.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well, I know people will tell you to move on, that there will be others for you, and to get over it, and stuff like that, but I really think they just don't know what it's like to be you. Listen to your own heart. If it tells you it's still shattered, that it is not over it yet, then let it have what time it needs to mend. Not everyone is the same. Not all hearts are the same.
My heart is very steady and serious and sad and slow to change. That makes it very slow to mend, as well. It can take four years or more to get over being broken. Depending on the circumstances. Or it can take forever. One never knows.
Posts: 2843 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
| IP: Logged |
posted
I went four years once with a broken heart. I was tragic, I was romantic, I swore I'd never love again. When your fiance` up and takes off with your roommate, it's pretty easy to shatter.
But something struck me one day... while I was moping and living in the ongoing agony, the rest of the world was moving on, going on its way. There's really no telling what I missed during my prolonged misery.
I do know, however, that keeping one's self broken hearted, not releasing the past to the times already passed and only loving and feeling from a safe distance does neither you or anyone else any good. It's also downright selfish. Only your own misery matters, only what used to be and what could have been take precedence in your mind. It's a very, very unhealthy place to be.
Catch, release, reflect, return to the land of the living. It's your life, and your only guaranteed trip through on this spinning globe, so if you want to avoid enjoying it and contributing, who am I to say? Posts: 2848 | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged |
The languishing pose of "I'm Misunderstood and Destined for a Different Fate" is ultimately very self-centered.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Thor, 1,006 big, fat AMEN!!!!!s to Natalie Portman. The one famous person I would not be able to talk to if I met her. I would just become a babbling idiot, but, dammit, I'd be happy! Posts: 196 | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well the same is true for any grief, yet grieving is something people do. It's something hearts do. Do you go to funerals and tell the people to snap out of it, that life goes on? I know that nobody does that.
Grief takes as long as it takes. At some point your heart will get over it, but trying to force it to doesn't work for some people. Odd how people don't see that. Different people are different. I promise I won't be shocked if you wear a red dress and take a date to your husband's funeral if you won't tell me to snap out of it and be all smart and selfless like you in dealing with grief. Deal? Posts: 2843 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
| IP: Logged |
posted
AK, I think we're speaking on two different levels of magnitude here. It is okay to have a broken heart, or to take time to grieve. But there does come a time, eventually, when one does need to "snap out of it."
I can't tell a person when they should, but I do believe that if it has gone for more than a year, it has gone too long. And we're not talking about feeling a little wystful or melancholy here, we're talking about those who willingly remove themselves from love and life for an excessive amount of time. That does become a form of neurosis and self abuse.
Posts: 2848 | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Yes, I think levels of magnitude is exactly what we're talking about. Different people have differences that are levels of magnitude apart.
Posts: 2843 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
| IP: Logged |
quote: Hamlet is not a tragedy because it makes life harder for men who marry their dead brother's wife. It's a tragedy because everyone in the play dies.
Strictly speaking, that's not quite true. A number of characters survive, including Fortinbras and Horatio.
Hamlet is a tragedy because of the lost potential of youth, caught up in revenge and so much the individuals had so little to do with. Or something.
Posts: 9293 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
Well-- what kind of reward do you think being faithful merits?
And about pseudo-christians-- I'm watching some Christian programming at work right now. One of those paid programming jobbers, trying to sell a video called 'Escape From Hell,' 'Time Changers,' and a variety of other Christian media. The sound is turned off, and let me tell you, it is FREAKY. Not just funny, or a little odd, but FREAKY. Especially when they show groups of young people at a Christian rock concert. . . very, very kool-aid-and-cyanide imagery.
Wow. 'Time Changers' has Paul Rodriguez in it.
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
Losing Jeff and bonduca was a tragedy. We can only hope we are in the midst of a conversion into a redemption. Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
quote: if the guy isn't interested in your figure in a pair of Calvin Kleins (or other tight-fitting clothing), you're going to have a bad relationship even if he finds you intellectually stimulating
I'm always willing and ready to get into a philosophical debate with a tight pair of jeans. Is that so wrong?
Posts: 2208 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
But yeah, rereading this really was a blast from the past of sorts. But everytime I read one of these, I wind up missing the good ole' days when so-and-so posted here.
Posts: 1368 | Registered: Sep 2002
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
![[Evil Laugh]](graemlins/evillaugh.gif)
![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)
![[Party]](graemlins/party.gif)
