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Icarus, thanks so much for taking the time to tell us how things are going. I feel all concerned for your kids now! I'm really glad that things are going a little more smoothly for little Mango.
In my studies to become an educator, the biggest thing I've noticed is the lack of personel in a classroom. A given class will have anywhere between 15-25 students (sometimes even larger!!). All of them have different learning styles...and there's usually ONE teacher at a time. This just does NOT fly. First of all, one person is usually not creative enough, patient enough, or strong enough to plan lessons that incorporate all types of learners. Second, even if this one person planned dynamite lessons one person isn't equipped to handle 25 students with four different learning styles. This of course, doesn't even include the energy needed to discipline those who misbehave and pay attention to those who, for whatever reason, who aren't cooperating with what's going on.
I'm really glad that Mango is getting the attention that she needs to feel secure in a routine and happy at school. It's a good thing to hear!! Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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About your house: we have also had times when we did not find time and energy to spend on cleaning the house. So when it got real bad, we hired some guys from a cleaning company. They came with 3, and in 1 day the house was clean as ever, including inside the cabinets. I don't know about your country, but here it is relatively cheap to hire cleaning personnel. That is, if you compare it with for instance hiring people to paint the house or something like that. So... just an idea.
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Kindergarteners travelling across campus, shuttling from teacher to teacher... what the hell kind of madness is that?
Joe, you've handled things very well. Keep your chin up. Tú sabes mejor que nadie como manejar esto... eres su papá, y nunca dejes que lo olviden.
Posts: 5663 | Registered: Jun 2000
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I just don't want you to think that your kids scared me away from wanting to teach. I still want to by the way. Posts: 4229 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Narnia - Seek out everything you can on "differentiation". It's extremely helpful. A single teacher CAN effectively work with a roomful of diverse learners, but she has to be willing to be a lifelong learner herself! Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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I believe you. I majored in eled for 3 years and I have big dreams about being that kind of teacher. (Now I'll be specializing in music instead of the classroom.) Thanks for the reference!! Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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posted
Things are continuing to go well. In fact, they are going far better than we would have believed possible a couple of months ago.
story time . . .
Several weeks ago, we went to meet with Mango's teacher. Oddly enough, though, the name of the teacher we were directed to was not the EH teacher . . .
We met with the EH teacher together with a regular kindergarten teacher, with whom we were told Mango was occasionally being mainstreamed. I thought it odd, though, as we spoke, that the kindergarten teacher was doing all of the talking. I had to make a conscious effort to be inclusive to the EH teacher when I said things or asked questions.
The teacher wanted to know what kinds of behaviors Mango had exhibited at the old school. She also wanted to know what had been done to her there. She recounted how, on their recent field trip, Mango became terrified on the bus that they were returning her to her old school. She became very clingy and tearfully told her teacher that she wanted to stay at her school.
That opened up the floodgates for us, as we recounted what's in the first post in this thread . . . our insecurities and doubts, but also our frustrations with the old school.
So she looked at the EH teacher and said, "I'm going to tell them."
Turns out that she was not supposed to tell us this, because they weren't sure what kind of flakes we were for slapping an EH label on our daughter, but they could see no sign of emotional handicap, and she had in fact been going to the regular kindergarten classroom exclusively for weeks.
She said that with the field trip incident, it became clear to her that there was more to the story than just parents overeager to label their child. They've been keeping her mainstreaming quiet because otherwise she will have to return to the local school, as it is the one she is supposed to attend.
Over what turned into a three hour conference (!) she told us how well-liked Mango was with her peers, how eager she was to please, and how much parent volunteers loved her. I am keeping this simple because I lack the words to tell you how this made me feel. It wasn't just that Mango was getting into trouble before, but the way that the parents of her peers responded, lashing out at her and at us. I understand where they were coming from, but it was hard not to cry when I heard that my baby is not an outcast, that people love her.
Nothing has burst that bubble in the intervening weeks.
To me, they have succeeded where the old school failed because they are warm to Mango when she is good, and matter-of-fact with consequences on the few occasions when she was not. She quickly learned how she needed to behave to be happy. At her old school, I get the sense now that they were altogether devoid of warmth, except when she was in trouble, when she would be spoiled by the office staff. Bass ackward.
So my first inclination was, Okay, they are better able to handle her temperament, and they probably don't put as much pressure on her. One of the factors at the old school was how much they were expecting of her; she is probably less frustrated here. She won't learn as much, but that's OK. I want her to be happy, and to learn at her own pace.
Wrong.
Remember, Banana still attends the old school.
Mango is learning to write faster and better than Banana is, though Banana has always tested higher in anything cognitive.
For all their airs about how rigorous and demanding they are, their austere approach is frankly not teaching as much as the warm approach where Mango is now.
True, I am working my tail off with Mango every night. I deserve some of the credit for all that she has learned. But still, my point stands.
This charade can't last beyond this year. Eventually, we will need to document her progress. And we wouldn't want to fake things if we could . . . we don't want Mango to go through life with an EH label that's not appropriate, just so she can get a good education.
What will happen next year? We don't know, and we are terrified. Hopefully, the pattern of success will be ingrained in her enough by then that she will be able to succeed at her old school. Hopefully her scars will have healed. Hopefully the parents and children and administrators and teachers who hate my daughter will have had their hearts softened by time, or will be willing to give her a second chance, or will not cross paths with her.
But for now, she is having a regular kindergarten experience. She is successful. She is happy. She is having that rapid growth we saw in Banana a few months ago.
That's such wonderful news! Still a bit frightening and more than a little disturbing, but what a wonderful little girl you have! Congrats to the teachers for being honest with you and congrats to you for being so attentive.
Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2003
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Icarus, is there NO WAY she could stay at the new school without the EH label? Can you petition? I have a buddy on the School Board if that will help any.
I cried when I read the good news in your post. Your daughters are so wonderful, I never could believe the stories. And I think sending her back to a place that she fears and you aren't comfortable with is in no-one's best interest. Surely there's a better solution to this.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Now I know that with enough grease, the wheel eventually turns. But then the issue of transportation comes up. How can I transport her to a school that is accross the county (Hoagland and 17-92) and be back in time for work, and then pick her up after school? When people buck the zoning, they're expected to provide their own transportation.
Right now, she gets a bus because she has to go to that school, because that school is where the EH unit is. If she's not EH, the county won't provide the transportation.
(Of course, now the curmudgeonly arguments about whether or not it's appropriate for the taxpayers to pay for this come up. But at the moment, I couldn't give a damn what is fair to the taxpayers. All I care about is my daughter, and keeping her somewhere where she is having success, and keeping her out of a school that was destroying her.)
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
That is just the point, Icky. You seem to have the evidence that the other school was harming her. You should be able to file an appeal with the school and force them to pay for it. Or come up with a damned good reason why not to.
Posts: 9871 | Registered: Aug 2001
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You're in a tough spot because you work for the school board that you'd have to appeal to. But there's also something like professional courtesy to be considered as well. I think teachers have it rough enough without the system they work for getting in the way of getting better treatment for their own kids. It's like if you work for a hospital you SHOULD get special care there.
Oh well. Maybe the world doesn't work that way anymore. My mother got me into two different high schools when she was a teacher. It wasn't difficult in those days.
Anyway, I understand the transportation thing. I can't answer for you, but I know how you'll feel if, against your better judgement, she ends up back in the school that was obviously not helping her. Hoagland is a bit of a schlep, but if that means she gets to stay where she's excelling, it'd be worth it.
I wish I was still in town, I give her a ride myself! I just hate to see kids screwed up by the institution that is supposed to be guiding them into a lifetime of joy in learning.
And what happens to her now in these early years has consequences that reach into the rest of her school years too.
Frankly, I wouldn't even take the chance next year if I had any way of keeping her in the school that's working.
But then, I'm not a parent and I don't have to be at work at a set time.
Again, I wish I was there to help. We know a teacher who drives from our old neighborhood over to Gateway every morning. Maybe she'll still be there next year and could help out. She's a nice person (even if she was foolish enough to move to FL without a job and not until August...)
Maybe the county would let you PAY for her transportation once she's off the EH list? (yeah, like you have the cash...)
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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posted
I'm with Bob-it's hard enough switching schools between kindergarden and first grade without the child being afraid to go to the new school and without the school being uncaring. I was switched into Gifted out of regular, and it changed me from a kid who had lots of friends in her classes and enjoyed school to complete outcast.
Posts: 3493 | Registered: Jul 2001
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