posted
Well, I haven't seen any of dkw's creative prose before, so I'll try to guess her before I go on to the guys.
Posts: 2506 | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Yeah, I could see these people being a same sex couple or something. Either way though, neither one is explicitly mentioned as having their shirt off...hmmm...come to think of it, doesn't it say that the only thing keeping them warm is the fire, the blanket, and their body heat? That would certainly imply that they're naked under that blanket, wouldn't it? Another point in favor of a Kama authorship!
As for the "one guess at at time" thing--sure, you're right, but you know, heat of the moment and all that.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Yeah Erik, she occurred to me as a possibility too (note--no, I'm not trying to steal Erik's vote. I'm just agreeing with him!)
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
::having lulled him into a false sense of security, steals Erik's vote and runs off with it, laughing madly all the while::
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
You know, it would be kind of fun to do this game with obscure works from well known authors. We'd have to make sure that it wasn't possible to easily google for the correct answers, though.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
You could run the text as a google search, then if a snippet of it is on line, then you would know it. That still leaves a lot of work, and people could still recognize the style of their favorite author.
But this one is great too. The chance for others to see your work anonymously is as fun as the game. Kudos to dkw.
(where is that copyright character) Posts: 2506 | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Oh yeah, I'm loving this game; it's one of the highlights of hatrack for me at the moment.
When I said the bit about making sure that the answer wasn't easily googlable, I meant that before submitting a snippet, the moderator would have to google it to make sure that it didn't come up with the author. It'd be a big pain, and I wouldn't want to do it, so don't think that I was volunteering! I just thought it would be fun to be a participant in the game.
How easy do you think it would be? If you were to happen across, say, some of the erotica that Hemmingway wrote under a pen name to pay his bills early on, would it be recognizable as his work (He thrust. Harder. In the rain.), or would he have also obscured his style? Relatively unknown texts from early in a writer's career might also have a very different flavor from their later, better known work.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
The kudos go to Slash for inventing the game on GreNME. I just offered to mod when someone suggested we try it here.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged |
Well I'll go ahead and guess Hobbes for reasons stated above even though I don't really think it's him.
Posts: 4534 | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Hm. Kwsni? I could see her writing something as subtle as that last part (see my previous post if you don't know what I'm talking about).
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Actually, I don't get the sense of a young person at all. It is definitely a sappy piece, but not really one of young love. I see it as a couple who has been married for a few years enjoying some rare time alone. I guess I feel that way because it doesn't seem sexual to me. The "staring" definitely would make me uncomfortable, though!
I'm going to guess Papa Moose.
Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
OK now let's think about the piece itself. The style is somewhat lyrical, and favors longer sentences. In fact, several of the sentences are almost run-ons, but given the tone and style, it seems to work. The imagery works well, reading this makes me feel warm. I suppose it might seem a little cliche from a certain viewpoint, but I see it as romantic. We certainly don't get much of a sense of the other character, which makes me think that the narrator may be a little self-absorbed. That sounds a little harsh. The narrator isn't self-centered; he's clearly in love, but the lack of characterization of his partner in what is clearly his fantasy could show a guy who romanticizes the object of his affection to the point of overlooking who she really is.
I'm using the words "he" and "she," here, but we're never explicitly given the sex of either character. We infer gender from the narrator's point of view and the implicit dominant/submissive nature of each participant. The narrator initiates the kiss, the other accepts it. The narrator holds the other, with the other's head on "his" shoulder. I'm not sure whether the genders are purposefully ambiguous, but if so, I have to say this is very well done.
posted
Oooh, good guess! Completely stealing your analysis, I'd put KarlEd forward as a possibility. Honestly, though, I think you nailed it.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I haven't jumped back into this fray since I sent a sample like a dozen times to Slash, who never used it, but I guess I'll make a go of it again.
I don't agree with those who assume that the author is female. Or naďve about love. Or necessarily very young.
The narrator is definitely assuming a dominant position, but, as has been noticed, the gender is left vague. That seems unlikely to be an accident, but I'm not positive where to take that. Suggesting that it's Caleb because of this seems facile.
I love most of the phrasing of this, including the breathless pace, which I take to be intentional. It sounds very poetic to me, and I imagine that the writer of this also writes poetry. And yet, while it is poetic, it also had a mundane feeling to it, like finding poetry in the mundane. I don't mean this in a bad way. Much of my favorite poetry is poetry that I can understand, and that focuses on experiences I can relate to.
Kind of like the poetry TomDavidson writes.
quote:and watch with eyes only for you
This line strikes me as trite, perhaps intentionally so.
Many things I see may be intentional, and I wish I had a little more context to go by in deciding just what they are indicative of.
quote:For what seems like forever, nothing is said with voice, only with looks.
I hate the turn of phrase in the first part of this, because it is unusual to say that something is said "with voice." Then again, this is part of what is poetic about this. I just think that in this sentence the author tried too hard. I would drop the forced parallelism here, or perhaps just replace "voice" with "words."
quote:Eventually, I give up resisting myself and lean over to kiss you.
Again, I wish I had more context here. I wonder why the narrator is resisting hemself. Is this some sort of forbidden passion, or is this simply the cliché that passion is always a giving-in to a temptation that must be fought.
quote:You return the expression and friendship,
I don't see a kiss as being well-described as an expression, so this line jars me.
quote:and we both find ourselves content to fall asleep beside each other in the dying flames and glowing embers of the fire.
A couple of people have already commented on this, but let me add my voice saying that this line made me laugh when I read it (and therefore broke the mood).
I think Tom's suggestion that it sounded like Christy may have been a clever bit of chicanery.
posted
*sigh* celia, I did my best to phrase my guess in a way that was not offensive. Tell me, are you in your late teens?
Guessed so far: jeniwren Dragon rivka IndexCard porce Ryuko Annie Christy fugu Belle kat advice for robots Ophelia Leonide CalvinMaker Teshi T_Smith Avadaru pixie celia Bob Scopatz Slash Human sarcasticmuppet sndrake Kama dkw saxon75 Hobbes kwsni Mama Squirrel Papa Moose Caleb KarlEd TomDavidson
Still thinking it's a female, I guess: Vána
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
yeah, i'm in my very late teens. fourteenteen.
can i guess Geoff? i don't so much have a reason as i like typing that spelling.
oh, and trusting your guess list, because i'm just lazy enough to not check it's accuracy, we have the following possible authors left:
Pat ae amira tharani Amka Irami pooka JaneX Jon Boy Shlomo Kayla solo Dan_raven Dante Leto II Strider :Locke Tammy ^eleKtron ludosti enjeeo Maethoriell The Tick Ethics Gradient mackillian Tresopax Feyd Baron Troubadour Flyby Morbo Filleted Nick twinky Unmaker zgator
posted
You know, it occurs to me that Erik has been pretty active in this thread. I've seen one sample of his writing, and it wasn't much like this, but that could be because he was emulating Michael Moorcock in the other piece. I'm going to guess that it's him (elsaine, I mean).
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
Seriously, though, there have been people who weren't on the list before. It's been an accident, but it's happened.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Oh yeah, all this has been worth the anxiety of actually sending it in. First, I suppose I should clarify a few things...
As anyone around Hatrack Chat will tell you, I'm a pretty good example of a non-writer. I'm great with logistics, planning, and world-building, but I seriously... well, suck... with characters. I wrote that little bit as a dare at the beginning of the summer (a friend challenged me to write something entirely out of character after I mentioned my writing (BSing) abilities might be declining.)
Let the last line go to show you that you should ALWAYS proofread your work. A habit I tend to ignore.
To address a few of the comments, just so y'all have some context for next time. I left the identities entire vague for various reasons. I did not intend to leave the gender unknown, but I can see that should have been anticipated when I was blurring the characters. Saxon did a pretty good job of identifying the fine points, but I didn't think anyone would guess me (in a non-random fashion) unless they were Hatrack Chat people.
Someone commented on the near run-on sentences, and I'd have to say that's about the only part of my normal writing style (think Douglas Adams) that I could not overcome. Thanks for the critiques and comments. I had actually thought about E-mailing dkw in the past months and telling her not to post is, but I didn't.
And you won celia? It took you seven guesses, and of all the participants in this thread, you know me better than most. That's like me saying I won mafia because you died before me. And we shall indeed meet again...
posted
yeah, way to be not your usual self. you writing romance is almost as incomprehensible as me writing a children's story. which is to say, knowing you so well actually made it harder.
Posts: 3956 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Hail]](graemlins/hail.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
