I'm looking for a girl who is like minded and I'm finding out there aren't many people who come so equipped.
Dang.
I asked a girl out for the first time in years.
Me - "would you like to go to dinner?"
Her - "Between work and school, I don't have time."
For dinner? Who doesn't have time for dinner? Everyone I've met always has time for dinner sometime.
A cold no would have been better. Much, much better.
It's ok, I'm not sweating it.
um..uh..ok
maybe I am.
not sweating it per say, but I'm a bit troubled because I can't seem to be able to punt the notion of how great a good girl is.
life just seems better with one...
...but I won't get addicted to the smell of the grass on the other side, I know that I should use this time wisely.
that doesn't mean I'm doing it.
Houston's burning me out a bit.
This is the roughest city I've ever lived in.
It's my favorite 3rd world country.
Women are getting crazier, I'm getting crazier, and my writing pen isn't getting any drier.
So you punt women and girls from the mind, and dag nab it, one walks right past your eyes, and one little move in just the right way, and the brain is all ga ga for girly puffs.
It's slowing me down. way down.
Almost everything in life you can work at and fix and shit, but not a love life, the more you "Work at it" the more not a damn thing happens.
So you girls and boys who have a girl or a boy who you love or really, really like, take a moment for me, hug em and kiss em, remember how mother loving lucky you sons of kids are.
It's kind of like when you see someone without legs, and you look down at your legs and fill with a new passion for something that's always been there. You take a happy walk or a joyful run, remembering how great every great moment is.
I'm a crazy poor artist with dreams of solutions to save the world!
Yeeeha!!!!!!
Run away, ladies! Run away!
Did I mention that two out of 3 girls over the age of 18 in Houston have children? Maybe one in 5 have a husband.
quote:...but I won't get addicted to the smell of the grass on the other side, I know that I should use this time wisely.
that doesn't mean I'm doing it.
It's not grass, it's weed. And if you speak the same way you type, I'd suggest you've been smelling it a wee bit too much lately.
Stop playing the role of the desperate horny needy starving artist, and maybe you'd be a bit more attractive to women.
I mean, do you really think your inner woman would be attracted to the person you present to others?
[This post has been edited by Kathryn H. Janitor to get rid of profanity. People, there is no excuse, EVER, for profanity in Hatrack. And if you don't know the difference between profanity and obscenity, look it up.]
posted
Why don't you show-off with your newfound superpowers? That'd attract girls, right? If not, you could use blackmale ("I'll save your life, but you have to promise to go on a date with me first").
Posts: 2292 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
So if most of the women in your city are single moms, is that what you are looking for? I should imagine the ones who are not yet single moms think they are a special rarity- as indeed it sounds like they are. Tricky question, but I guess as long as I can hope you are a better than average man, I'd go ahead and recommend such a strategy (looking into single moms) since they will invariably wind up with someone, it might as well be you.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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just kidding. i have a little experience in this area and thought i'd respond.
without telling more than anyone wants to know, i just basically want to say that a few months ago, i finally comprehended the fact that i don't need a guy to be complete. i still want one, but my every waking hour is not spent consumed with longing and fantasy prince charmings while i mechanically go about my life. i can now enjoy my independence. i can go out with my friends and not worry about impressing anyone. every once in a while some random nice guy gets my phone number, either from me or a well-meaning friend. yeah, they never call, but it doesn't bother me anymore. now, it's all part of the fun.
i just spent eight months living with a couple who, during the course of my stay, got married (twice) and had a baby. that is rough going for someone who is interminably single. but since i was constantly there, i got to see the not so fun parts. the tension, the exhaustion, the endless crying. i love my friends, and i love the kid, but i'm so glad that i'm not there yet. now that i'm on my own again, i so appreciate the fact that my life is my own. yes, it would be nice to have one special someone to share intimate things with, but my time will come. there are other things i need to focus on right now.
that's all. hope it's helpful.
Posts: 1090 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
Lalo, shut the hell up. You're out of your element.
Not everyone wants to (or can) change who they are to make themselves attractive to MORE women. Making yourself more desirable to women in whom you have no interest is NOT a solution.
Thor, trust me. They're out there. It's pure luck when you find them, but you need to help out Lady Luck sometimes.
Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002
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quote:Lalo, shut the hell up. You're out of your element.
Not everyone wants to (or can) change who they are to make themselves attractive to MORE women. Making yourself more desirable to women in whom you have no interest is NOT a solution.
Thor, trust me. They're out there. It's pure luck when you find them, but you need to help out Lady Luck sometimes.
You've been seeing Thor doing this mopey depressed crap for as long as I have. He doesn't need to change himself, but he definitely needs to get over this ******** about "I'm secretly brilliant, you should be falling all over yourself to have me, why am I alone?" Granted, it looks like he's toned down a bit from his earlier posts, but what the guy needs is some tough love. Otherwise, I promise you, the first girlfriend he comes across will be saddled with all this emotional baggage, run away, and he'll be worse off than before because he'll believe she's confirmed the truth behind his moping.
My advice to Thor would be to get a job, straighten the backbone, stop assuming women are turned on by whining, and to stop sweating his solitude. It happens, and when it changes, the change isn't because Fate owes you one and you can bitch about love's absence in the meantime.
[This post has been edited by Kathryn H. Janitor to get rid of one obscenity. Obscenity is not NEARLY as bad as profanity, but someone complained about this and it should be excised. Other than the one asterisked word, I didn't touch this...even though I thought it was a needlessly vicious post.]
posted
I think that while Thor may vent a bit on Hatrack, he's probably just as stable as you or I in real life. I doubt he thinks girls are "turned on by whining".
I love that Thor's not ordinary, and I respect that he's looking for a girl who's his match. And I don't see the arrogant attitude with women that you've attributed to him.
Of course, what should I expect from a guy, who, when I told him I was in love, asked me if I wasn't just lonely and needed a piece of ass...
And, as much as I love you, Eddie, I still think that in the realm relationship advice, you're out of your element. (The "shut the hell up" part is most likely due to the fact that I watch The Big Lebowski way, way too much.)
Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002
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quote:I think that while Thor may vent a bit on Hatrack, he's probably just as stable as you or I in real life. I doubt he thinks girls are "turned on by whining".
I love that Thor's not ordinary, and I respect that he's looking for a girl who's his match. And I don't see the arrogant attitude with women that you've attributed to him.
Of course, what should I expect from a guy, who, when I told him I was in love, asked me if I wasn't just lonely and needed a piece of ass...
And, as much as I love you, Eddie, I still think that in the realm relationship advice, you're out of your element. (The "shut the hell up" part is most likely due to the fact that I watch The Big Lebowski way, way too much.)
Ugh. I've just gone through this bit with you on AIM, and considering what you've just said, I'm not in the mood to refute you twice. With your permission, I'm just posting the less touchy parts of our conversation.
quote:Frisco: sorry for ripping on you in Thor's thread :-P I just think you're horribly, horribly wrong. Lalo: No problem. Lalo: I don't think so. He's been doing this for some time, and I think it's about time someone slapped him and set him straight. Lalo: It would've done me a ton of good at several points in my life. The last thing this guy needs is enabling. Frisco: I think there are far too many people in this world content with being average. Whether or not he's as great as he thinks, at least he's trying to be. Yes, he's whining a bit. I've been in his shoes, which is why I agree with him. I had someone knock some sense into me, once, and I ended up engaged to a woman I didn't love. Frisco: Now, I've found that someone I've been whining about for 10 years, and I've never been happier. Lalo: 10 years? Man. Even I wasn't angsty at thirteen. I was still figuring out that I could jack off. Lalo: Happiest days of my life... Frisco: Well, I was 14, and a sophomore in HS. Maybe I wasn't angsty, but I was certainly looking for someone better than I'd ever met. Lalo: Wow. 14 and a sophomore? Did you skip grades, or what? Lalo: And yeah, I see what you mean. Believe me, I've been in the same boat far too many times. It's a rare day when I'm NOT in it. Lalo: But his moping won't help him figure out what's wrong with himself. Like I said, enabling and slapping. Which is the better route? Lalo: “Of course, what should I expect from a guy, who, when I told him I was in love, asked me if I wasn't just lonely and needed a piece of ass...” quotation marks inserted Lalo: Say what now on the whosits? Frisco: why is it something wrong with HIM?! Frisco: dost thou forget our conversation about [Laura] and [Tampa Bay]? Lalo: Yes. I'm sure it's all the women in Texas that are ****ed up. Now, what now on this ass? Lalo: Of course not. Lalo: What I do seem to forget is suggesting that you were just horny. Frisco: you suggested I was lonely and maybe was this just lust.... Frisco: I paraphrased. Lalo: Yes. In the sense that you're lonely and in the need of a someone. Lalo: Not that you want pussy. Frisco: right...like you ever use the word lust in a non-pussy way, you walking sack of testosterone. Lalo: Don't try to flatter me. Lalo: And no, I'm an angsty woman on the inside just like you. Lalo: I miss being in love, even if I recognize how shallow and stupid my past loves have been. Lalo: I really miss the feeling of seeing a woman's eyes light up on sight of you, or being able to just lay back and hold her in your arms. Lalo: But too often, I've just taken the nearest girl handy because I was lonely and she was there at the right time, right place. You with your unbelievable angst in the past few months -- a month alone with bears? -- may have been looking for love and chosen the nearest, likeliest subject. Frisco: And I'm willing to bet that 99% of the women in Texas would not interest Thor, nor I. Lalo: But they DO interest Thor, like he's been saying. It's him that doesn't interest them. Haven't you been reading? Frisco: You think so little of me. A wonder I keep talking to you. Frisco: He never said he was interested in them. He complains that he can never find a good one. Lalo: I think so little of you? What the **** are you talking about, Eddie? Lalo: Eddie. Read the thread. Here's, I'll cut and paste. Frisco: Sure, he mentions asking a few out, but those are probably, as you put it, because they're the "nearest girl handy". Lalo: asked a girl out for the first time in years.
Me - "would you like to go to dinner?"
Her - "Between work and school, I don't have time."
For dinner? Who doesn't have time for dinner? Everyone I've met always has time for dinner sometime.
A cold no would have been better. Much, much better.
Lalo: My point exactly. Lalo: Heh. Jesus. Lalo: How can you keep changing your story? First you say it's the women who aren't interested in Thor, then it's that he can't find a good one, then the one's he's interested in are, somehow, just the nearest handy. Frisco: Lalo:You with your unbelievable angst in the past few months -- a month alone with bears? -- may have been looking for love and chosen the nearest, likeliest subject. Frisco: Suggesting that I don't know the difference between what I've wanted my whole life and a passing fancy is rather insulting. :-P Lalo: If you're taking it that way, it's not because i meant it as an insult. I have that exact problem, falling in love, and since we're so alike in every aspect I assumed -- especially in light of our recent conversations -- that you have the same problem. Frisco: See, I don't fall in love. this's my first. Frisco: I don't find love merely in holding a girl, or having her look at me that special way. Lalo: Then you're wiser than I am. Lalo: I keep falling for the same old tricks. Frisco: I always thought I was looking for too much in a woman, but could never convince myself to be content with even a little less. That's finally paid off, though I often thought it was a pipe dream. Frisco: Don't EVEN say it. Lalo: You and your dirty mind. Frisco: That, and I know you too well, I think. Frisco: Especially after spending so much time in the homosexuality threads. Lalo: So congratulations. You've finally found a woman of your dreams. I've found many of those -- forgive me for worrying that you're going to fall into the same love-heartbreak cycle I keep falling into, and warning you to examine your love before committing to it.
posted
I know I said I wasn't going to argue anymore, but I have to wonder...why have you found so many "girls of your dreams", yet remain single? Do your dreams change? Do you dream of women who don't love you? Are you women you meet in life better than you could ever dream of?
Why berate a man who sets his sights high? There comes a point in life where you "sweat your solitude", when you've dreamed the same dream for as long as you can remember. You know it's out there, but you still can't find it. It's easy to write it off as "mopey depressed crap" until you've experienced it.
Sure, the easy way out would be to stop looking for that One who, every time you see her, makes you think "What have I done to deserve this?"
Don't assume that it's his fault, being the way he is, that he hasn't found love. More likely, it's because it's a big world, and the farther you move away from the norm, the fewer people of that type a community is able to support.
You gotta get lucky. And that's not something you can help by not thinking about it. Thinking about it might only help a bit, but it's better than nothing.
Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002
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quote:... I'm just posting the less touchy parts of our conversation.
Three reactions:
1. "Less touchy?" Egads.
2. Reading two guy friends sort through emotional stuff does my heart such good. I liked reading your insights and banter, and I love knowing that you have each other to run ideas past. I'm not being sappy, and it's not innuendo -- just an acknowledgment that you two are pretty cool.
posted
Heh...he didn't post the part where we start calling each other names. He's so cute when he's angry.
Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
I suspect that part of Thor's problem with women comes from his lack of self-confidence, which also leads to a certain lack of follow-through. (As a specific example, I offered MONTHS ago to buy a piece of his artwork; he contacted me to find out if I was really interested, I said I was, and I never heard from him again.)
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
Wha...all this time I've thought that Lalo and Frisco were the same person. Seriously, they're not? Which one was Eddie Whiteshoes?
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
Sorry about that Frisco! I'd always thought that you did a masterful job of keeping the personalities of your logins distinct.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
As I recall while Lalo was out in the jungle wilds, Thor quit the pot AND got a job selling books. His posting style while still being in essence "Thor" has become much more coherent.
Please note he was not complaing about being jobless.
And Thor if you are reading this, sell the picture to TomD damnit! (That way I can see it too, eventually.)
posted
I have to go with TomD a bit on this one. Several months ago Thor asked to be reinstated at Ornery. I e-mailed him several times about some info I needed and never heard back from him. I finally got him reset, he made one post and has not posted since then.
posted
Get your own life sorted out first before you even contemplate throwing the monkey wrench of a relationship into it. Seriously.
Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
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Hey, Thor. When you ask a woman out to dinner, on an official Dinner Date, it is more than a 30 minute snack. There are wardrobe choices, baths, hair, conversations via Phone, EMail, IM, and smoke signal to all their girl friends. There are choices on accesories, shoes, makeup, and shoes again.
You pat your hair down, put on a clean shirt and your cleanest pair of jeans, and maybe socks with your shoes, and you are ready for dinner. (well, I was).
She has a 3 hour routine, and expects a two hour dinner, followed by conversation and coffee in some quiet place if you get along well.
So when she says she doesn't have the time for dinner, what she is saying is, "I'm not in a point in my life that I can dedicate the time I should to building our eternal relationship."
Please don't take it as "Get away from me you ugly ape before I call the cops."
(on the other hand, I've learnded when she says, "Get away from me you ugly ape before I call the cops." she really means to get away from her before she calls the cops.)
Rejection is a part of an artists life. Its not an easy thing to endure, but it is not the end of everything. Do not judge yourself in the paranoid fancies of other people's judgement.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
Hatrack family I love you! and you, you love me.
Maybe y'all love me so much because we never spend too much time together, or becuase I never ask y'all to borrow money.
(not counting the time I asked Slash to borrow $10,000, or was it a bet? I forget.)
Girls, ladies, moms, sisters - oh the female beautiful. A mystery and a quest that works through every level of art, hopes and dreams in almost everyway.
I don't really understand the inner workings of outer space and the creation of stars and planets and the other unknown energies, and I don't really understand women.
On some level I do understand solar system creation physics and the motivations of the female mind soul and heart, on my own level I know enough to form many opinions.
I know, I'll never have a vagina. I'll always have a penis.
(unless some bizarre unplanned and unprevented freak occurance happens.)
I'm not whining, because I've had my days in the super light with the soft and beautiful, and she laughs at my me, she thinks I'm great and miss my voice when I'm not around.
I've shared some of the most amazing kisses I imagine one could share.
I had a lucky man's run.
If it's all over and the "Is it better to have loved and lost" part is now in full past tense effect, then, it is so, so God and The Art must become the full fruits that fill me with the good life.
I'm not boohooing in anyone's strawberry yohoo. I'm just talking amongst my hatrack family.
Yup. I got troubles, and it's nice to know that some family memembers like to know and can offer a pearl of wisdom, a hug of hope or make me smile.
quote:I know, I'll never have a vagina. I'll always have a penis.
I'm glad you've finally accepted this.
quote: If it's all over and the "Is it better to have loved and lost" part is now in full past tense effect, then, it is so, so God and The Art must become the full fruits that fill me with the good life.
Dude. You're pretty young. I wouldn't go resigning yourself to a life of wistfully being the single guy. I second Frisco on this one...and as you believe in God, then believe that He knows what He's doing. I've been in a similar situation lately (with guys, not with girls ) and I've finally decided that I'm really grateful for this time that I'm going solo. It gives me time to focus on getting my degree, figure myself out a little and become a lot more secure with me when I am by myself. I know that in past relationships I haven't been secure enough with myself, so I'm grateful for some alone time to get that squared away.
Like I said, you're young. Get busy, do something you love and 'know thyself.' There are tons and tons of girls out there and you're bound to run into a few that are 'like-minded.' And a few that may surprise you.
posted
Thor, I've got a pretty good idea where you're coming from. For years upon years, my best relationships were measured in months. I certainly had my share of days where I thought I would never find anyone to love and to love me back. It seemed liked everywhere I looked, people were falling in love, but none for me.
But it did happen. And it happened when I least suspected it. Right about the time I decided to stop looking so hard and just let it happen.
Yeah, I know, that sounds really cheesy, but it's true.
I almost never even asked out the most amazing person in my life simply because I didn't think she was my "type". Luckily, a good friend smacked me in the head and asked me what my sucess rate with my "type" had been up til that point. I decided she had a good point and what could it hurt.
We were engaged in less than a year and the rest is history.
I always hated it when people told me "She's out there. That special girl is out there for you." So I won't say it.
Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Zen and the art of finding your love. Clear the quest from your heart and mind, free yourself up to view with clear eyes and someday soon, it will walk across your path and you will know.
It's what happened to me.
Love isn't something to find, it is something that happens to you. Let it happen.
Posts: 2848 | Registered: Feb 2003
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posted
Good luck Thor. I took your advice and treasured the time I spent with my girlfriend this last week. It was nice. I know that someday soon, you will get the same thing. Hang in there buddy!
Anway, I just wanted to say something about Lalo:
quote: My advice to Thor would be to get a job, straighten the backbone, stop assuming women are turned on by whining, and to stop sweating his solitude.
My advice to Lalo would be to stop judging people, get off his high-horse, stop assuming that everybody wants to hear his profane arugments, and to stop being rude.
Think about what you're doing and how you're coming across when you try and teach anybody else your secrets of life okay Lalo?
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