posted
So, for the last week I’ve been wearing Bob’s ring. This is a good thing, as I’ve pretty much agreed to wear Bob’s ring for the rest of my life, but this particular ring is not just Bob’s in the sense that he bought it, but also in the sense that he’s worn it, and it’s sized to fit his hand. Which means it’s been tied to my finger with transparent nylon thread so it can’t fall off. (Considering that the first time I lost it was only two hours after he gave it to me, this seemed like a wise precaution.)
But today I went to Ames to pick up the ring that Bob and I chose together. And I’m very glad it was finished today. Because while I’m sad that I had to go pick it up myself and that he isn’t here to put it on my finger, I’m ecstatically happy to know that exactly one year from today he’ll be putting a matching band on my finger, and I’ll be putting one on his.
Dan and I had a little party with some friends on our -1 year anniversary. We got little bride and groom pins and a sign on the table and everything. It was a very fun evening. Posts: 2661 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
It’s a sapphire. I didn’t want a diamond for various reasons, so we had to wait until the jeweler could find a good quality sapphire in the size we needed for the setting. Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
What are your reasons for not wanting a diamond? I know what *my* reasons would be...
I kinda wish that I had not bought a diamond for my wife. But I really wanted to pick her ring out myself, and a diamond seemed a safe bet.
What I would *really* like is to have given her a synthetic diamond. But they weren't available commerically at the time.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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I have always liked the idea of emeralds as part of an engagement ring. I would love someday to replace the two side diamonds on my ring with little emeralds. (Porter probably didn't know that. Funny how much he and I learn about each other on Hatrack!)
Edit: Oh, and diamond is my birthstone. Kinda cool that my engagement ring has my birthstone.
posted
mph... You can get a diamond in that color for less than an arm and a leg... more like a finger... if it's irriadiated. Indeed, a natural blue diamond would take a sizeable chunk of change (unless you are the U.S. Government or a British Royal).
That is a beautiful ring, dkw. You two have nice taste. A non-diamond, colored gemstone is actually very European (or so I've heard). That has a nice light cornflower blue color to it. It reminds me of a Ceylon Sapphire. The sapphires that come from that area of the world have that similar color. (I dabble in gemology.)
Is that yellow gold or rose gold?
Posts: 822 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
It’s yellow gold, and the sapphire is from Sri Lanka. It’s actually a little darker than it looks in the picture, but very clear. You can’t really tell from that angle, but there’s a twist in the setting under the stone. We thought that something just a little twisted was appropriate for the two of us.
mph: the reasons had to do both with aesthetics and ethics. Among other things, I’m annoyed by the way diamonds are marketed, particularly the idea that an engagement ring must be a diamond.
I never thought I’d want an engagement ring at all – I’m not really a jewelry kind of person, so I thought a plain wedding band would be plenty. But I must admit it’s kind of nice having something to touch and look at to remind me that my far away fiancé is not just a figment of my imagination. (Like I ever had this good of an imagination!)
posted
Wow! I too wish I could've been there to put it on your finger, but I'm so glad they had it done today. Those guys in that shop are wonderful to work with.
:resists urge to give a plug:
So, when do I get my other ring back? Its value to me has gone up immeasureably in the past week.
Dana sent me some additional photos today and I showed the around the office. This is so amazing. To find a person like her, and have her actually love me! I'm just ready to burst, you know. But instead of bursting, I'm just going to say that she is fun to shop with and fun to shop for, and fun to be around, and fun to think about, and fun to write e-mail to, and fun to talk to, and just the best person I have ever known. So, the fact that 364 days from now we will pass from fiances to a pair-bonded couple with all that that entails both fiscally and emotionally...well, I just have to say that I couldn't even imagine how happy I already am, so that particular day is going to be tough to top.
You are everything to me, Dana, and I intend to spend the rest of my life (plus whatever portion of eternity is allotted to us) thinking up new ways to show you how much you mean to me.
posted
You want to replace those with emeralds? I almost replaced them with sapphires myself, but I chickened out.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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Actually, a truly smooth person would've unobtrusively found out what kind of rings & stones his beloved liked, then found a way to get her exact ring size. And then had the thing made and presented it as a surprise.
A la Dan_Raven, while looking up at the stars...
My ability to plan such a thing AND keep it a secret is practically nil. Especially where Dana is concerned. Heck, I even spoiled the surprise of the letter in which I asked her to start dating me. I did that by calling her and asking if she'd seen the letter yet. Then proceding to tell her what was in it. By the time she actually got the letter, the only surprise left was what kind of stamp I'd used on it.
The engagement wasn't really a surprise given that we'd already set a date and selected a minister. I even told her in advance how I would propose.
I'm bad at this.
I even ruined one of her surprises. Fortunately, I have such a bad memory for details that I'll still be surprised when the event actually happens. Not only that, I'll probably have a deja vu experience with it.
But I do have to say that I make it a rule never to buy a woman jewelry without knowing first that it is a style that she will like. I mean, an engagement ring she'd probably wear anyway because of what it symbolizes, neh? But what if she'd really had this vision of what would be the perfect ring and you could've gotten her that? Or, worse yet, you go shopping for wedding bands and she spends the whole time looking at different settings for engagement rings?
Well, not really. But what if she secretly wished that you'd gotten her that other one, and you didn't?
So, I figure the best way is to have a temporary ring and then go shopping! I mean, you get to show how much you like shopping, as long as it is with HER! and you have the pleasure of knowing that she chose the ring that will be a symbol of your mutual committment. Just like she chose you!
Okay, it's all backwards from tradition. But I don't care. It makes more sense to me this way.
And if you worry about the romance of it, well, then I guess I have to say that maybe what's needed is other outlets for romance besides jewelry purchases.
I mean, buying jewelry is great, but the cool thing is that she comes away knowing that you are thoughtful and have a sense of who she is, not just that everything reflects your personal style, right?
Anyway, I guess I'm debating MYSELF here. But I did it this way, and guess what???? dkw is still marrying me! So either she's as bad at this as I am, or she sees beyond the rough exterior to inner smoothie that is me!
Or, she just doesn't care about such things. In which case I'm only doing this to impress myself.
posted
Bob, I think you are a very genuine and thoughtful person. That is worth far more than a guy who can keep the surprise. I'm sure Dana agrees.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I inherited my great grandmother's engagement ring when she died. One of the cool parts is that it didn't need resizing. I have the same size fingers she did.
Though, if a guy wanted to propose to me, I'd want that to be my engagement ring, because it's simple, is an heirloom, and were I to choose one, it's what I'd chose anyway.
And since it's small...I don't get distract---Oh! Shiny!
Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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quote:Actually, a truly smooth person would've unobtrusively found out what kind of rings & stones his beloved liked, then found a way to get her exact ring size. And then had the thing made and presented it as a surprise.
*Coolly breathes on fingernails an polishes them on his shirt, remembering how he did just that.*
But your proposal was much more spontaneous (in the words you used, not the setting) than mine, and very cool in and of itself. And the ring is beautiful.
Dagonee *We went with a sapphire in bridged setting on a band with celtic triangle knotwork.
posted
Oooo... Dag... that does sound beautiful. Does that mean the Celtic knotwork is throughout like an eternity band with the sapphire set above it? What was the cut on the sapphire? What metal did you use? I know... I know. So many questions, but we don't have the benefit of pictures. Details are fun. Details are good for shiny things.
Posts: 822 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
Wow! What a beautiful hand! And such a lovely ring. Props to your non-diamond engagement ring. And Props to Bob for his dear romantic speeches that I can tell are heartfelt off my computer screen.
We love you guys, Congrats again!! Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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quote:Oooo... Dag... that does sound beautiful. Does that mean the Celtic knotwork is throughout like an eternity band with the sapphire set above it?
The knotwork goes around the entire band, but the band is not closed - instead it's joined by a bridge of metal with a basket setting, and the ends of the band form shoulders around the stone. Here's an example, although ours differs in some details.
quote:What was the cut on the sapphire? What metal did you use?
It was a 1.4 carat deep blue oval cut sapphire, set so the long direction runs across the finger, not up and down it. The band is platinum. One thing I loved about not getting a diamond was how much more ring you could get for the same price.
quote:I know... I know. So many questions, but we don't have the benefit of pictures. Details are fun. Details are good for shiny things.
I'd have posted a picture if I could figure out how to get the macro mode working on my digital camera.
The only explicit instruction I received was, "No diamonds." My investigative technique was to look at catelogs and display cases and ask her what she liked and didn't like, and why. This included all types of jewelery, not just rings. Then I did a lot of googling until I found something I liked that I thought went well with what she had shown me. Then I found a local jeweler to do it for half price .
posted
Dag, that ring sounds cool. And congrats on the extra-smooth surprise.
quote: By the time she actually got the letter, the only surprise left was what kind of stamp I'd used on it.
Frog stamp. Very cute.
While the “official” proposal in the library was wonderful, I think the actual proposal was an e-mail I got beginning, “Okay, I'm not coming up there for a date anymore. I'm coming up to figure out how short an engagement we can have and still maintain your reputation in the community.” And then laying out various options for where we could live. With pros and cons for each.
Ya gotta love a guy who can write a good project proposal.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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I love that part of the UM wedding cermomy that says the rings are "an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace." I know they're talking about the wedding band, not the engagement ring, but STILL......what a great symbol, and like you said, a nice physical reminder of your beloved. Posts: 6 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
My hubby and I have titanium wedding rings, and they are cool. And here's a secret. . . Shhhhh . . . Ludosti and slacker have the same ones.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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quote: It’s kind of nice having something to touch and look at to remind me that my far away fiancé is not just a figment of my imagination. (Like I ever had this good of an imagination!)
Lord, do I know how that feels!
I don't have a ring yet but I've been wearing Paul's dog-tags since he left for Iraq and I know how great it is to always have that little reminder of the tangibility of a person you've mostly known only by words and voice. I really am so happy for you both. Posts: 1548 | Registered: Aug 2002
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I've been spending too much time with the middle schoolers. It really is a beautiful ring.
Let's lay off the diamonds, though. My engagement ring is diamond (3 stones in a gold Tiffany setting - made in 1890, one of the first rings to be made w/ that setting) and it's very pretty. So there. Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
Yeah, I'm for the diamonds too. Though I do love the sapphire, dkw.
My newly acquired ring ( look here ) is a single brilliant cut round diamond in a white gold tiffany setting (on a yellow gold band). Tony designed it - and I love it!
We had a discussion before hands though so he knew my general likes/dislikes. And he talked to lots of jewellers about clarity and colour.
It's very shiny. I spent the whole car trip back to Perth (3 hours) mesmerised by the sparkle... ooh, shiny!
posted
I think personal taste should decide the matter, I believe. And that can include considerations about all sorts of issues.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Bob, if it is any comfort to you, my husband and I shopped for my engagement ring together also. That was fine with me - I am sort of non-traditionalist and didn't expect any dramatice or romantic presentation of the engagement ring.
I picked the ring up myself, two days before the wedding, while my mother sat in the double parked car(in case a cop told her to move it) in the diamond district in NYC.
posted
Heavens, I didn’t mean to be critical of any one else’s diamonds! I’m glad y’all like your rings.
I keep looking at mine and grinning. I think the only thing that could make my smile any bigger is if the hand wearing the ring was in the hand of the guy who bought it.
I didn't mean to sound so defensive about diamonds - I didn't really think they were being attacked. It's just my ring is so new and shiny that I'm a little obsessed.
I'll get over it.
I do love the sapphire rings though - maybe for an anniversary present? (And our bank balance says... no. )
Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
"Though, if a guy wanted to propose to me, I'd want that to be my engagement ring, because it's simple, is an heirloom, and were I to choose one, it's what I'd chose anyway."
My ring was my mother's, who died when I was a baby. My husband's ring is his grandfather's. We saved a ton of cash, I got a diamond WAY bigger than I would have, and the sentimental value is through the roof. Plus, the diamond was one which was smuggled out of Germany in World War 2 by the jeweler my dad bought it from.
Dana and Bob, my first official engegement ring was this cheap-a** silver-jade number which Steve bought me at a Grateful Dead show. Well, I guess t was the pre-engagement ring.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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