posted
have you thought about getting him tested for ADHD? It frequently goes along with conduct problems, and the problems with controlling impulses sounds like it. Your school counselor won't diagnose this (in most counties they are not allowed to) it would have to be privately diagnosed. While this is an over diagnosed disorder, there are people who do have it...and there are differences in brain chemicals for those people that medicine can help. While it is true that some behavior problems are typical in young children, serious behavior problems can be a sign of future trouble. ADHD in young children is a predictor of Conduct disorder in older children particularly if it is untreated. If you simply wait for the child to grow out of it, you might have serious problems later on. It is impossible to tell this kind of thing over the internet, you really should find some sort of doctor or therapist that knows about ADHD, and will medicate IF (and only if) it is needed.
As for the school paddling without permission, my guess is the principal was trying to brush you off so you did not realize that she could get into serious trouble for what she did. In most school districts paddling without parent consent is a serious offence. If your card says that you must give immediate consent before a paddling than the school could be sued for not following your wishes.
As for home schooling, I don’t think it would be your best option. Firstly, school is a good place for a child to learn proper social behaviors, and punishments for violating those norms. If he is having problems dealing with his peers, pulling him out could compound the problems later. Also, with a baby on the way your house is likely to not be the ideal place to educate a child.
There are a number of causes for problem behavior in children. Marital discord can lead to stress in the child, and is associated with problem behavior. While you said that the reasons for your previous discord are mostly solved, if there is residual stress it could have an impact. Of course having a new baby on the way also can lead to problem behavior, as a child can feel that they are being brushed aside (even if that is not the case). Unfortunately, this will not go away once the baby is born, as then people are likely to be paying lots of attention to the new baby, which could lead to jealousy. It is important to let your child know that they will always be important no matter how many siblings he has.
It is tempting to simply say “boys will be boys” or to think it is a phase, but it is important to keep up on a child’s behavior at a young age…because it is harder once they get older and are stuck in poor behavior patterns. It is possible that he will get over it once he gets used to the new child, but it is always best to stay on top of things. I would recommend trying to get your son to open up about the reasons for his behavior problems. He clearly does not want to, but it is something that must be done. Also remember that children do lie. It is hard for a parent to believe that their child would lie to them, but it is rather common…and actually expected at times.
posted
I have to say, I don't see what you're so mad at the school for. If you don't want him spanked then don't sign the form next year. But aside from that, you can't expect teachers to overlook punishment in all four situations just because he made some excuses. Kids make excuses for everything. Maybe you can buy it if only one thing happens, but if there's a whole bunch of problems, something has to be done.
Posts: 2432 | Registered: Feb 2001
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Boon
unregistered
posted
You don't understand why I'm upset with the school?
They took the time to paddle him, but they couldn't take the time to look in his file to see if there was even a slip there that gave them permission? That's all it would have taken, all of our phone numbers are listed on that slip.
What if I'd revoked permission? How would she have known since she didn't take the time to check?
It is REQUIRED that they contact me, and actually speak to me prior to spanking my child. I really don't think this is too much to ask.
What would they have done if they'd decided to expel him? Told him to walk back home when he showed up the next day? They obviously couldn't be bothered to call me...
And if the principal can't take the time to pull one file out of a drawer in her own office and open it, did she even take the time to find out why she was paddling him in the first place? Did she talk to Dan and make sure he understood why he was in trouble?
I know kids lie. I'm well aware that he probably IS lying about at least one of the instances. BUT! Should he be punished for what COULD HAVE BEEN another child's mistaken observations?
I'd love to have him seen by a good therapist, psychaitrist, psychologist, whatever. I just can't afford to take him right now.
But more, I don't think I can afford to send him back to this school.
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I did not look into it in detail (other than a quick skim after a google search) but you might look into it.
Also, some regular doctors will know about ADHD if asked, but don't think about it otherwise. You might bring it up to your current doctor.
*shrugs* it might amount to nothing...and this might not even be a valid issue with your child but who knows, the info might help.
As for the lying thing...I am actually in agreement with you on the paddling issue. Regardless of the truthfulness of your child they should not have paddled your child without your consent...and they should not have used other children as their source of information (as those children are not likely to be any better at giving the truth as your child). I just thought I would mention it, as some parents can't believe that their child would not be truthful. I don't know you at all, so I just thought I would bring it up.
Posts: 1901 | Registered: May 2004
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The administration was lazy, but I think it would be a serious overreaction to change schools just because they only called your home phone and not your husband's cell phone, if that's what you're mad about. If nothing else, that's the sort of thing that's quickly rectified by complaining to them. They'll remember after that.
Actually, if it were me I'd just say no spanking anymore, since they couldn't get it right. (I always thought that was just standard for public schools these days anyway...)
But also, teachers have to punish kids based on imperfect evidence sometimes. Parents too. I used to get punished all the time because my brothers said I did something - usually it was true, but occassionally they lied. It's just the way it has to go. Would you want some other kid to get away with doing something harmful to your kid just because the teacher didn't see it firsthand?
quote:Don't feed the troll.
Paul, what's with the random name-calling? You must know by now that I'm not a troll.
<inserts standard "Don't misuse the term troll" rant>
Posts: 2432 | Registered: Feb 2001
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REquest to see the state guidelines for testing of special needs kids. Of course they don't want to test him - it costs money to test kids. But you have the right to request testing, at least you do in this state.
Here, if you believe there is a problem, any problem, - you can request the school test him and they must comply. My daughter was tested for the gifted/talented program at the school, so I got a copy of all the parental rights for a special needs child. G/T, ADD, learning disabilities, all those issues demand special attention from the schools.
I've got the paperwork around here somewhere, that spells out all my rights as a parent, I'll try to find them. Check with your state's dept. of education's website. You should be able to get your son tested - at no cost.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
Okay, according to my reading of the information, if you make a request that your child be tested they must do an initial evaluation to see if further testing is warranted.
If you disagree with their assessment, you can have him tested at an independent agency of your choice, at the school's expense. However, the school can hold a due process hearing to show why their assessment was the correct one, and if you lose that you have to pay for the assessment yourself. But if you DO get an assessment, the school must consider it.
If there is an issue found, the school has 30 days to put in place an IEP (independent education plan) specifically for your son, that will address his needs.
All this is Alabama law, so don't know if there if it is the same where you live. Go to the state dept. of education website and search "IEP" or "Special Education Rights"
posted
Tres- I know you well enough to know that sometimes you argue just for arguments sake. The school CLEARLY broke the law in this case... and you wonder why Boon is upset?
Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2001
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posted
Boon, I think that homeschooling will be counterproductive. I don't want you to take that as a criticism (although I know it sounds like one, I am truly sorry about that), and I understand that you want him out of that school. I would want that, too!
I don't like the Paddling at school thing (I'm a spanker, but me and hubby are the ONLY ones allowed to spank The Boy), but I respect that you agreed with the policy. The problem is that you agreed with the policy *conditionally*. The school should have respected that. The fact that they could not take the time to look up your conditions on Paddling troubles me, as it did you. I don't know if I would sue, precisely (I am tentative regarding legal actions), but I would certainly draw attention to this action in some way. School board? School district supervisor? Have you documented all of this? If not, I would certainly do so.
Yes, children lie. And I know that most parents know this. And I know that you know this (because you said so hehe). And I also know that we parents (for the most part) can tell when our children lie (and usually what they are lying about). Whether or not Dan hit a kid (and my kid has hit children in school, too, it's scary), the school's behavior was alarming and unprofessional.
I support you, Boon, and I wish I could help. Belle has excellent advice, I think, certainly more knowledgeable.
Standard disclaimer: The above post is entirely my opinion. It was written only with good intentions. If anyone's feelings were hurt or if I gave misinformation, I apologize because it was certainly not on purpose.
Posts: 1545 | Registered: May 2002
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posted
Paul, what does any of that have to do with trolling?
And this isn't for arguments sake. In this case, a lot more than an argument is on the line - her son's education is on the line. I don't believe he should be taken out of a school if it's a matter of something that may be largely correctable.
posted
Tres- I agree that her son's schooling is important.
The situation is NOT correctable unless the principal gets fired. The principal broke the law (actually, probably in several different ways). It should be CLEAR that any parent would be hugely upset if that set of circumstances hit her child.
Your post was trolling because I know you aren't stupid enough to really think that there's no problem here, so you must simply be seeking a reaction over a highly sensitive subject.
Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2001
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quote:The situation is NOT correctable unless the principal gets fired.
It's correctable so long as you can get the administration to remember to actually call next time, or so long as you can tell the administration not to spank anymore - both of which seem very possible. I do see it as a problem - just not a huge problem.
quote:Your post was trolling because I know you aren't stupid enough to really think that there's no problem here, so you must simply be seeking a reaction over a highly sensitive subject.
That'd be like me saying I know you're not stupid enough to think I'm just being a troll here, so you must be just trolling yourself.
Trolling (and this is like the tenth time I've had to make this point on one thread or another, because everyone insists on calling other people trolls) is intentionally causing trouble on the forum for trouble's sake. In the history of this forum, there's only a handful of people who have actually done it. You (or anyone else) can't just call people trolls because you disagree with their point, or think it's dumb. Just because YOU believe there's a huge problem here that justified taking the kids out of school and firing the principal does not mean anyone who thinks anything to contrary is a troll. That's just an ad hominem attack to circumvent recognizing a viewpoint you don't like, and not the sort of thing a Hatracker should be doing. No?
I'm trying to give a different perspective here. If you disagree with it, then go ahead and give your reasons. If you disagree but think it's so obvious that you shouldn't need to give reasons, then don't post at all. But no name calling, because I can tell you right now that my intentions were NOT just to "provoke a reaction" or cause trouble for trouble's sake - and they won't ever be, to the best of my knowledge. That's not how I do things. </RANT>
And sorry to have to put this Troll business in your thread, Boon - but people in general on this forum really need to stop throwing around insults like that, whether it's directed at me or w2w or John or someone else. I'm certainly not going to let them get away with it.
posted
Boon, What state do you live in? In Massachusetts, parents can refer their own children for evaluation. It is expensive for the schools, so they will usually try to do anything they can to avoid it. Do you have insurance? Liz PS Personal questions, and don;t answer if you are uncomfortable. PPS Unsign the corporal punishment permission slip asap. The last thing he needs is to be hit whn he has no clue what he did.
Edit: Sorry if I repeated things! I responded after reading only page one. Uh-der.
[ May 03, 2004, 03:51 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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Boon
unregistered
posted
I'm in Oklahoma.
The school has been notified, in person and via certified letter, that they no longer have permission to spank either of my children.
When I visited with the principal, she refused to admit that she did anything wrong, even after I had her pull his file. She even went so far as to tell me that if they couldn't spank him anymore, they would have no choice but to suspend him for further infractions. She even seemed outraged, repeating her credentials as though that makes her an expert on my kid and somehow better than me. Like I'm just a parent.
So, the kids are back in school until the 19th. I'm still going to homeschool them this summer, and I have serious doubts about sending them back next year.
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Boon, You need an educational advocate. They are lawyers who make life hell for schools. Many of them will do pro bono work. I am so sorry. It makes me very angry. Liz
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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Boon
unregistered
posted
Phone rang at 12:30. DH answered the phone. It's the principal. Dan's in trouble again.
He kept asking another little boy for his candy at lunch. Boy refused several times so Dan tried to take it from him. Boy tried to run, Dan grabbed him, they both fell and both got hurt.
::sigh::
So DH asks her, "What are you..." but she interrupted him.
"I'd just as soon we end his school year NOW. You need to come get him."
DH told her it'd be a couple of hours before he could come get Dan, because he'd been out until the wee hours on a really bad fatality accident. She got snotty, asking him if "Dan is a priority to you or not?" I really, really hate that lady.
So I got dressed, waddled out to the car, and went to go get the boy. When I get there, Dan's sitting in the hall outside the principal's office. I go in and ask the secretary where the principal is. She says, "She said it wasn't necessary for you to talk to her. Dan's already checked out for today and tomorrow. Have a good summer!" and went back to her phone call.
I'm upset anyway, and hormonal, and on the verge of tears, so I just turned around and left with Dan.
They didn't even tell him he wouldn't be coming to school tomorrow. They just told him I was coming to get him, not why, not that he was in trouble, and not that he got kicked out. I'm not sure how this would affect him next school year, but I've decided he's not going back to this school anyway. Ever.
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Can I ask what Oklahoma school district you are in? I've got a couple of friends who are educators in OK and I'd be interested in hearing their feedback on your district.
posted
The principle refusing to see you is very passive aggressive. Since you're going to have to do all the disciplining for this incident, you deserve to hear the accusations and evidence directly. Besides, it's just common courtesy.
I hope you can find a better place for him next year - this one frankly sucks.
posted
Okay, this is something I should probably not say, and I am sorry if I hurt your feelings Boon, but are you seriously telling me your hubby wouldn't go get your son, because he had been out until the early morning because of an accident?
That seems really, really inconsiderate of him. Especially with you being so pregnant, and emotionally overwhelmed with the school already....why couldn't he go pick up your son? And why would he want his son sitting out from class for one second longer than he had to be? He honestly would have let the child sit there for a few hours?
Maybe I'm not understanding your post correctly. I just can't imagine being called to say I had to pick up one of my kids and being willing to leave them there for a few hours. LIke the principal, I'd wonder about where the priorities were too.
Sorry if this upsets you, but my hubby works a 24 hour shift, many times working fires or accidents all night long (2 shifts ago had a fire that started at 11:00 pm and they didn't leave the scene until 6:30 am) and he still would have gone to get the kids if I needed him to. he's done it before, when I was pregnant with the twins and on bedrest he had to do all the major child-involved issues regardless of how much sleep he'd had.
I don't get it - please tell I'm misunderstanding.
That said, if you don't think the school is the right place for your son, then you'll have to make a decision about where to go from here. However, this infraction - the forcibly taking of something from another child, and causing that child to fall and be hurt, was definitely a send-home offense. And it sounds like the principal honored your request, and called you and didn't spank him.
I do agree with Dag that not wishing to see you or talk to you was sucky and cowardly.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
What I find TOTALLY ridiculous is that they won't let you come to the school and observe when Dan doesn't know you're watching. That would give you a better idea on how to handle the situation.
Posts: 4953 | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
Belle - I interpreted the reluctance to stem from lack of sleep. I'm all in favor of people who decide not to drive when they're tired - it's more dangerous than drunk driving in many cases.
posted
I'm sorry Dag, but if my kids need me or my husband, we go get them.
I can stay awake long enough to go get my children, I certainly wouldn't leave them sitting in the hallway outside the school office for several hours while I took a nap! That's not acceptable to me.
Besides, my husband's job depends on him being able to drive while tired, or do you think fire fighters just stay up all night waiting for that 2 AM call? Driving tired may well be dangerous, but it's a necessity in many cases, and my children would constitute a necessity to me.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
I can give some insider info on homeschooling if you want. I was homeschooled for 2 years, and my little bro is still homeschooled. In regards to socializing, we all went to homeschool functions about once a week, and the vast majority of homeschoolers were so mature and so... nice. I agree with the statement:
quote: As far as socialization goes, there have been numerous studies that indicate that early homeschooling actually IMPROVES long-term social skills, rather than hinder them.
It's so true. I felt much more comfortable conversing with adults during and following my homeschooling, and it's a lot easier to get along with someone your own age when you push aside the social structures and standards set for you in high school (I was homeschooled in grades 9 and 10). As for the actual learning aspect of school, I feel that most (again, not all) homeschoolers are much more well-versed in current issues as well as school curriculum, as there is more one-on-one teaching/learning going on. However, homeschooling is not for everyone; I feel that my brother adapted to it much better than I did. I missed people and I did not have the motivation to do my work outside of an institution; therefore, I went back to school. Best of luck with whatever you decide; it's a pretty ugly situation. Posts: 165 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
Wow, I'm not a parent, but I just assumed there were a bunch of extenuating circumstances involving the accident that made it impossible or extremely difficult for him to get there.
And while Boon is 5? days overdue, she is still capable of driving for short distances the most part however uncomfortable and annoying it might be.
Boon, this is the website for Wrightslaw in Oklahoma. It has links for getting help. I forget if your son is diagnosed with ADHD or some other behavior disorder? Have you had him tested?
Anyway, you have the RIGHT to a full battery of tests. You can refer your own child for an evaluation. Don't let them tell you you can't.
Taking Dan out of this school with the scary principal might help for a while, but eventually he is going to be back in the fray, and he needs help controlling his behavior when you are not around.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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posted
Ouch, Boon. Having been dealt with similarly by the school my son was at (he is there no longer, and is thriving elsewhere), I absolutely empathize. But having to deal with this while being Extremely Pregnant ( ) must be especially trying.
posted
I'm sorry for coming off like that in the last post, this is a thread where Boon was looking for support, and I look like I'm attacking her and her husband.
I just wanted to let her know that her husband's response to the principal about not coming for a few hours might very well look like his priorities were messed up, it looked that way to me, so maybe she should cut the principal a little slack in that area. If I called a parent and told them they needed to come get their child and was told "I'm tired, I'll be there in a few hours" I would be curious as to what the parent held as his top priorities too. That's all.
Sorry for sounding like a b*tch.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
Well, I am a parent, AJ, and I can't think of much worse than my child being humiliated, which when they're pulled out of class and sent to the principal, they are humiliated. I will not stand for them to be in that situation one second longer than necessary. My daughter was sent to the office once for being sick, and I couldn't get to her for over an hour because I was on the other side of town. She cried and cried because she said "I was just sitting there, and they wouldn't let me go back to class, and you wouldn't come."
I think everybody is being a little too harsh on a principal, who had a child taking something that didn't belong to him, then causing the other child to be hurt - and then when she contacts the parents she's told they can't come get him for hours because one of them didn't get a lot of sleep the night before? Cut the principal some slack here - she's got a child she's had problems with before, what is she going to do with him for hours? Leave him sitting in the hall? She doesn't want to do that, and can't send him back to class....I don't blame her at all for being put out when the husband says he can't come get him right now.
Attack me if you want to, but remember I know this situation well, my husband works accidents with fatalities at least three nights a week. Many times he'd love to stay at home and sleep, but his obligation to his family prevents that.
As a parent, you have to make sacrifices. sometimes that means sacrificing a little bit of sleep for the sake of your children.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
I wasn't going to post this, but the second response changed my mind: Driving While Drowsy.
This is a fairly personal issue for me, because I lost a friend in high school due to this, and I almost caused a horrible accident doing it myself once. It's not a question of losing a little sleep - it's a question of not killing people. I'd rather my child wait in the hall for a few hours than be another statistic.
posted
Poor Boon. I know this must be incredibly stressful for you. I really hope that things get better soon.
In support of Belle, I will say that the principal was probably not trying to be a jerk. Remember how many truly terrible parents she has probably dealt with. I have several friends who are schoolteachers and sometimes they get to the point where they wonder if there are any good parents left. Looks like the principal unfortunately made an assumption that Boon and her husband were in the category instead of attempting to be more understanding.
posted
Most people that have accidents from driving tired are people that are driving for long periods on highways, the "hypnotic" effect of the neverchanging roadway has been cited as a cause for this.
Driving to a school is not the same, not to mention that anybody who works accidents in the middle of the night should be well accustomed to getting up and driving while tired.
Sorry, Dag I'm not about to back down from my stance that it was incredibly inconsiderate of this person not to go and get his kid. I don't know the whole story, true, maybe there was some other reason besides pure tiredness that was why he didn't want to go. God I hope so! My husband would never have sent me out in a car alone when I was past my due date.
I will say that my husband has to drive sleepy all the time, he works as a firefighter and works a 24 hour shift and he's never caused an accident for one reason - he's used to it. You can train your body to respond differently to being waked in the middle of the night and after 10 years as a firefighter, he can waken instantly and function quite well.
If you want to stop people from driving tired, you're going to have to do away with emergency services in the middle of the night, I'm afraid. It comes with the territory.
"I'm sleepy, I was up late" is NOT an acceptable excuse to me for leaving your child at school when the principal calls to tell you he needs to come home.
You're going to be driving a very short distance, not over a long highway (most likely, most elementary schools are close to home and don't require interstate travel) you should be able to safely get your child and get him home.
And yes, it is more important to get that child than to leave him sitting for hours outside the office in a hallway, humiliated in front of his friends. I would do whatever it took to spare my child that. I was heartbroken at what my daughter went through when I took an hour to get to her, and she wasn't being punished, she was just sick.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
Belle, I wasn't trying to attack you at all.
I just assumed that there was a plausible alternative in the story that we didn't know about. It is the way my brain works, quite possibly because I'm not a parent.
The two facts that jumped out at me were 1) it wasn't an life or death emergency, even if the kid was stuck sitting in the principals waiting room for a while and 2) Boon could (and did) go get, him miserable though she might be. She isn't on bedrest, and has only been ordered to stay within driving distance of the hospital. 3) I didn't think I had enough information to make a judgement call on Boon's husband one way or the other because there were obviously already some extenuating circumstances.
But not being a parent I admit I don't have the same sort of protective sense of urgency that many parents do when it comes to their children. The fact is she Did go get the kid. And it wasn't so much the principal's actions today as all the previous history that make anything she does now suspect. Would you give someone a clean slate who had in the past been negatively involved with actions towards your children Belle? I kind of doubt it.
posted
Belle, you seem to be making a LOT of assumptions about this situation without really knowing anything about it. Posts: 2220 | Registered: Jun 1999
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posted
How is my assumption unwarranted? I am going by what she posted, that her husband wanted to wait several hours because he was working an accident the night before.
Now, if he was injured in that accident or there is some other reason he can't drive, then that's one thing. And I allowed that perhaps there may be more to the story, in fact I said I hoped there was.
I just don't know if you understand what it would be like for a kid to sit outside the principals office, with people walking by him all the time, wondering what he did, whispering about him...and him just sitting there, possbily no way to tell time, no idea when his parents are coming to get him, if at all, wondering what the principal said about him - that has got to be a terrible thing to go through.
I'm trying to think about what the child was experiencing. And as for the principal - I don't at all see that she's done much wrong in this situation. Except for not wanting to talk to Boon. Certainly he committed an infraction worthy of being suspended.
I wouldn't give her the benefit of the doubt, no. But knowing what type of person she had been in the past, I would have been there to get my child even faster after she called.
I'm not saying Boon did anything wrong - she went and got her kid. I question however, the willingness to leave him there for hours. How was that supposed to help his situation, exactly?
I'm having a hard time getting my head wrapped around a husband that would rather his nine month pregnant wife drive to the school than he would. Maybe because I'm married to a man who, despite what type of night he had at the station before, would not have let me do it but would have gone and handled it himself.
Maybe Wes is just different than most husbands.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
Belle, the difference is that your assumption automatically made the husband "guilty" while my assumption automatically made the husband "innocent".
Which is the more charitable?
As for the humilliation of the principles office, I think it totally depends on the kid. This kid doesn't seem to have been terribly cowed in times past by any real or percieved humilliation. But each child is different. You know what your own child can take best.
posted
Speaking as a teen who was considered to have "behavioral problems", all I can tell you is that he may be too smart for his grade level, so he has taken up new challenges (beating the system). I know that was my problem, and after about 6 years of being "a problem child" My 6th grade teacher started teaching me advance math and science. That led to the discovery that I'm just a tad bit too smart for my own good. They tried to put me into an ALPS program, but by that time I'd already started to "behave" (actually I just got better at not getting caught). I was in ALPS for a while, but I being the stubborn individual that I am, played dumb and got myself kicked out. I have no idea if any of this story helps you, but it may give you some insight into your sons thought process.
posted
The position of snarky person who's added nothing to the thread but snark has already been filled, Kat. Go find another thread, I was totally here first.
posted
1. I wasn't trying to insult her husband, I even apologized for the tone of my posts, and got defensive only when everyone else attacked me - not Boon.
2. Boon has asked our opinion on the actions of this principal, I think the principal's actions in this particular case are not unwarranted (except not talking to her), so I wanted to point that out.
3. I didn't get the memo where we had become an online hand-holding group, it rather surprises me since when I've posted looking for support for issues, I certainly wasn't immune to people stating their opinions on my situation.
4. I'll be glad to compare my family to anyone's, I happen to think it's about as good as humanly possible, I think my husband and my kids are the greatest.
5. I had some personal experience, from being married to a firefighter, that I thought made it possible for me to offer my opinion objectively.
6. Since I don't think I'm having any positive affect on this thread anymore, I will bow out after this post, though I hope Boon at least takes my thoughts into consideration when judging the principal, because I think her reaction about priorities was perfectly justified. Boon may realize that too, after she has calmed down, who knows? Certainly I've jumped to conclusions before about people, and been forced to realize I was wrong later. I would hate for Boon to not be open to repairing this relationship later if she finds she needs to, because I've been there too - I had problems with the last principal of the elementary school that only ended when she retired. I wish I could have put aside some of the hostility and worked more closely with her, because I think parents should be on board with the administration and teachers as much as possible. It's the best thing for their children's education. I've even given Boon some advice about how to get the child tested, advice she didn't respond to so I don't even know if she took it or appreciated the effort I went to to get it for her.
7. Her son was WRONG. He stole from and hurt another kid. The principal was right to suspend him. The description Boon gave of the infraction leaves no doubt in my mind the kid was in the wrong- am I helping anyone if I pretend he wasn't wrong? All I'm saying is The principal had good reason to think that their son was not their priority when they said they wouldn't come get him for several hours. It may not be true, but she was justified in that opinion.
Turn it around and imagine the principal is our friend, not Boon.
"I'm having the worst day. Yet another parent who doesn't give a darn about their kids. I have this kid steal from and tackle this other kid, then when I call the parents, they say they can't come get him for several hours! So I asked the guy what his priotity was."
We would not think that was unreasonable. Especially if we knew that the principal had to deal with a lot of parents who just don't care. And that is the case in a lot of schools today.
Obviously we all think Boon and her hubby aren't those type parents, that they do indeed care about thier kid. The principal doesn't have that luxury however, and she has a kid here with a history of behavior problems and parents that say they won't come pick him up. I don't blame her in the least for he comment about priorities.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
I think the point is that saying "Your husband sucks; mine is better." is NEVER anything but rude.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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To: All Employees of Hatrack Inc. Subject: Online Hand Holding Support Group Date: May 18, 2004
It has come to my attention that there have been some questions on the subject of unconditional hand holding vs. constructive criticism. In the even that another employee distributes a message that has the clear intention of garnering support from fellow employees it is understood that the primary response should be one of encouragement and commiseration.
However, there is still room for intelligent, constructive criticisms. Should an employee feel they have a unique perspective to offer that may render the support-seeker additional aid they are encouraged to share. Note: this does not mean that haughtiness will be tolerated. Should an employee assume a role of snooty arrogance they may expect to be cut down several notches by one (or more) comments of equal snootiness, sarcasm, or so-called “snarkasm.” Claiming ignorance of this arrangement is not an excuse.
Kindly conduct yourselves accordingly,
Bob t. Lawyer
Addendum: Would Ms. Katharina kindly report to my office re: The Biting Incident.
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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You don't understand why I'm upset with the school? ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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Having been dealt with similarly by the school my son was at (he is there no longer, and is thriving elsewhere), I absolutely empathize. But having to deal with this while being Extremely Pregnant ( ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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